Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What unexpected package did David receive?
Hi. Hi. How are you? Yeah, good. How are you? Well, I saw you two minutes ago, so... Have you got your package? Oh! Yeah, shall I go and get it? Yeah, yeah, this is what this F is.
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.
What?
You haven't opened it yet, have you? This is the first time I've seen it. I haven't opened it.
Chapter 2: What exciting metal detecting accessories are in the package?
How big is it? It's massive. Oh, show me. Can I see it? I want to see. Can I do it like Christmas morning? Like, you're sat on the floor and I'm sat on the sofa watching you open presents. By the way, people are going to put comments saying, oh, you missed her, that's what she said at that point. No, he didn't. He just decided not to. I missed it. What point? It's massive. Oh, go on, show me.
Yeah, if we could go back and do it, I would say... Well, we can.
Chapter 3: How does David feel about the metal detecting gear?
James, can you pop in it? That's what she said. Play it all again and then pop in it. That's what she said. You haven't opened it yet, have you? This is the first time I've seen it. I haven't opened it. How big is it? It's massive. Oh, show me. Can I see it? God, sorry. It's like you're a jukebox. Yeah, Butler James. James, could you get me a... I don't know what this is.
Chapter 4: What plans do they have for metal detecting on land?
Nomi just gave it to me smiling. Just said enjoy. I haven't got a clue. Okay, so I can't see the... Wow, it is a big box. Oh, you're going to love this.
okay i've got to get something ready i've got to get something ready as well i sort of don't know what what anything i can't get a handle on like why it's come why if you open it i really it's annoying me i can't i want to see the whole i can do it what i can do it so you can see yeah yeah great okay so it's a big old but how it's big that's a big old
When you first open something, when you first open it and see generally what it is, I'll explain what's going on. Are you excited? I'm so excited. I'm so confused. Don't be confused. It's the way Naomi went, enjoy. Well, yeah, but it wasn't you're in trouble. It's like you'll have a nice time. No, that's how it came across.
Chapter 5: How does David's relationship with the farmer impact his detecting?
Oh, okay. I thought you might say she was like going. No, no. Her enjoy was like, you're going to love this. Oh, she's right. Can I say, can I build up to it? Yeah. There's nothing I want in life. I'm one of those dudes. I think I am as well, actually. I've got everything I need.
I was thinking the other day, I was thinking about having money dropped, you know, and go, the only thing I think, I'd buy a camper van. I'll buy a fucking great house. Well, you're crap. It was so sweet, and it was a lovely little moment, and you ruined it with a joke.
Chapter 6: What is the significance of the Detectable festival mentioned?
I don't need bits and pieces, so when I see this, I'm like... But this, this is lovely on lots of levels, but I'll get to it. It's a nice little story. Can we guess? Can we guess? You can guess, but when you get a general idea, we'll stop, I'll explain, and then we'll go through a process. When I open it, will I go, ah, I see.
I think there'll be some confused then, oh, my God, and then you'll be like, what's going on again? I think that's my guess. What a lovely job, though, opening a big present. That's what I was thinking. It should be rebranded as the present, boys.
be lovely every episode i'd love people to send us a present every day you get some you get a bag of dog shit one day though i'm nervous you don't shouldn't be nervous that's what i want to get out this should just be fun and exciting this is christmas morning you're not nervous on christmas morning because the people who bought your stuff uh care about you I'm not saying I'd do that.
Do you know what I'm going for at the moment? Lego Old Trafford.
Chapter 7: How do they discuss the practicality of carrying metal detecting gear?
You've done it. You've got it. No, I haven't. Yeah. Fuck off. It is. What can I ask at one moment? We haven't talked about Old Trafford in Lego. There's no way into me having got you that or someone having got you that. What's the backstory of Old Trafford out of Lego? I've always had my eye on it, and it's like 500 quid. Yeah, but you've never spoken about him.
So someone would have to be a fucking mine leader. I'm travelling in the neck of it. This is it.
Chapter 8: What future adventures do they anticipate with metal detecting?
Honestly, people at home, this is a big box. And it's lots of flaps. There's loads of flaps. It's a really big box. It's like two and a half foot, two foot long. Big brown box. One and a half foot wide. No, we did well to hide it. Take one thing out and look at it. Oh yeah, take the cap out. Okay, do you want to know what's going on? You're still utterly confused, aren't you?
You've just shut down, why aren't you speaking? I know, I'm trying to think. Okay, anything? Right, I can see... I can see camouflage. That's not working then, is it? Okay, this episode... Shall I tell you what's going on? Is there anything to do, Andrew Shatterton? Am I crawling through tunnels? No, you're sat in your warm office opening a box. Can I keep opening or do you want to...
Well, yeah, we need to, because you've, tell the listeners what you've picked up and looked at. Well, I'm going to explain what I'm looking at now. There's a camouflage bag. There's some gloves. There looks to be like a camouflage rucksack. It sort of reminded me of GoldenEye. Pick up the cap again and tell the listeners what it says on the cap. LP.
Okay, so that says there's a black cap with a logo that says LP on it. Lizzie? Nothing to do with Lizzie, no. Why would Lizzie send you a cat with me? Well, she's LP. Oh, yeah, she is, but it's not... She might have a company that... What the fuck is this? Oh, you've got a thing that reads now. Read it. OK, shall I just explain what's going on? Well, shall I read it? Yeah, go and read it.
I've just picked up a bit of paper... Is the penny dropping yet? Sort of, but there's stuff in this box and I'm like, why the fuck is that there? I've just picked up a bit of paper and it says, detectable. From the 7th to the 8th of September, 2024, Hertfordshire. Oh, no, that's not nothing to do with it. That's obviously something they put in their advertising. So I shouldn't read this?
Oh, no, you can, but it's a bit of a red herring, I think. I'm not going to read any more, then. Well, I want to know what it says now. We would like to invite you to the Detectables 2024. Oh, okay. Detectable is the world's biggest metal detecting festival. Wow. Bringing together detectorists, traders and manufacturers from across the globe for a great weekend of socialising.
That ain't happening. Metal detecting. Music and fun. I did not know that was a part of it. Shall I tell you what's going on? No, I quite like... Do you want to? Well, no, because it's... I don't know. I feel like I'm the listener. I don't know what's going on. But is that frustrating or good? Well, it's intriguing. See, that thing you read out. Oh, yeah. Has that got a list of stuff on it?
I think that's just content of what's in the box. Yeah, yeah. So don't look at that. Because I've got that. Right. Do you want me to... Well, the way you're sitting is making me angry. Your hands are sort of resting on the box like you're a pensioner.
It is quite warm and cosy.
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