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Chatabix

S12 Ep 588 Vault Mondays: The Weatherperson Auditions

07 Apr 2025

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the premise of the weatherperson auditions?

0.622 - 20.115 Host (David)

hello this is joe uh welcome to the monday vault uh in this episode james our editor is just putting whatever old depths out randomly uh don't know if it's gonna be any good or shit um but that's the chances you take some of them from the past for a bit anyway cheers

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62.165 - 78.521 Joe

Wow. Good morning. Ow, what is that, a plate? A plate on my head. No, it's a hat. A dinner plate. It's a purchase hat. Oh, right, it looks like a dinner plate. It's, um... Oh, it's like a cricketer's support hat.

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78.641 - 82.185 Host (David)

Is it what they call it? Yeah, an umpire. Straw hat.

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82.205 - 83.706 Joe

Do you know what? I'll wear mine. Fuck it.

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84.727 - 107.009 Host (David)

That'll do there, Eddie. Oh, yeah, come on. I'm really nervous about auditioning whether men and women because I've realised I'm really scared of the public. I didn't hear a word you said. I'm fucking ill. One thing you have to do is keep your fucking headphones in.

107.049 - 108.932 Joe

No, not when you're stretching to the corner of the room.

108.952 - 136.638 Host (David)

I said, I said, I said, I said, I realised I'm scared of the public. Is that why you put a hat on? No, this is because I felt I needed to add something because I didn't add anything yesterday. Oh, come on. Don't start like that. I listened to it and it was so tinny. I was like, bloody hell, the audience must be going, fucking hell.

136.658 - 139.101 Joe

Just have a day off.

140.009 - 150.562 Host (David)

Do you hear that, Chatterbiscuits? I couldn't care less. I genuinely listened to it going, is it better to have a day off?

Chapter 2: What challenges do the hosts face during the auditions?

317.567 - 319.45 Host (David)

Is that how many people wanted to do it?

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319.47 - 324.52 Joe

No, there's two that I let go because I just didn't have the time.

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0

326.528 - 328.751 Joe

That's seven applications.

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329.092 - 351.445 Host (David)

That's incredible. Oh, dear. Right, I've genuinely thought, can we get rid of them from the call if they do something weird? Or do they have to... On Zoom, is there a get rid of someone button? Hmm. Don't know. Oh, dear.

352.287 - 368.331 Joe

Okay. Maybe I need to look that up. Is there a get rid of someone button? Is there a get rid of someone button? If they're dicks.

371.163 - 372.165 Host (David)

Oh, dear.

372.185 - 385.767 Joe

How to prevent jerks from ruining your Zoom meetings. Here we go. Jerks. Jerks. God, how do you do it? I can't be bothered to read it.

385.827 - 388.411 Host (David)

No. Well, it's not great podding.

Chapter 3: How do the auditions unfold for the first contestant?

679.107 - 682.331 Host (David)

Not at all. I'm a bag of nerves, Charlie, I'll be honest with you.

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682.431 - 688.058 Michael

Oh, well, I'll be honest, I haven't slept all week.

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688.118 - 693.684 Charlie

Listening to the TV guy, he was so good, you know. Yeah.

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693.724 - 695.707 Host (David)

Yeah, he didn't know a thing, to be honest with you.

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696.227 - 696.488 Charlie

No.

696.508 - 709.564 Host (David)

You didn't have to look at his basement. You haven't heard me yet. Wow. Yeah. Well, David loved your email. He sent a picture of you enjoying weather. Well, yeah.

709.644 - 711.286 Joe

Where are you, Charlie?

711.386 - 714.49 Charlie

I'm in Canterbury. You're in Canterbury.

714.671 - 725.625 Joe

Lovely stuff. So basically, Charlie, because we've got loads of applications. Too many. You're one of many. Basically, you've got 45 seconds.

Chapter 4: What unique approaches do the contestants take during their auditions?

1017.914 - 1019.598 Joe

There's Britney. Britney.

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1020.059 - 1020.961 Host (David)

Oh, hello, Britney.

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1020.982 - 1022.325 Joe

The Chattamix budgie.

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1022.445 - 1041.982 Unknown

Cheers, Michael. Someone's jealous here. Someone's jealous. It's little Sonny. Literally going round the house now. Yeah. Where's your wife, mate? Let's see if it works. Let's see if it works. Cheers, Michael. Thank you, Michael. No, thank you very much. We'll be in touch. We're scoring all up. Yeah, we'll be in touch.

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1042.002 - 1047.367 Host (David)

We're scoring everyone, and you are in with a bloody good shout, mate.

1047.708 - 1053.374 Unknown

Trust me. Okay, no pressure. Cheers, mate. Cheers, Michael. Bye-bye.

1053.654 - 1073.864 Host (David)

Bye. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Well, that's amazing. Yeah, that's still there. Michael's still there. We've gone from one extreme to the other. There's prepared and there's underprepared. Oh, dear. Okay, so this is... As Michael said, tomorrow Michael Wirth wearing a jumper.

1075.746 - 1079.832 Joe

Not going to go up north. Okay.

1087.827 - 1089.569 Host (David)

Here we go. Here we go. Who's next?

Chapter 5: What feedback do the hosts give to each contestant?

1357.934 - 1360.657 Joe

Although I am regretting unmuting you.

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1364.242 - 1369.71 Unknown

I've had a lovely morning, Al. It's been a pleasure to meet you, lad.

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1370.391 - 1371.432 Joe

It's lovely to meet you.

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1371.492 - 1372.694 Host (David)

Yeah, great, great.

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1372.734 - 1373.936 Joe

We'll be in touch, Al.

1373.956 - 1375.718 Host (David)

We'll be in touch. We'll definitely be in touch.

1377.014 - 1388.863 Joe

Cheers, Al. Bye. That was Al Muir, everyone, from Pembrokeshire. He's still there. No, he's back again.

1393.18 - 1407.502 Host (David)

I've got a feeling you're going to be there for a long time. I'm in for you. I'm going to be in for you. Okay, okay. No, still, they're back again.

1407.522 - 1407.803 Joe

I'm going.

Chapter 6: How do the hosts decide on the winner of the auditions?

1718.726 - 1719.526 Host (David)

Where are you in the world?

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1720.367 - 1722.47 Maria

I'm in faith in Scotland.

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1723.371 - 1732.62 Joe

Very laid back. Yeah, exactly. Considering this high-pressured situation. Yeah, I'm... You're back on earth.

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1734.102 - 1767.741 Joe

Yeah. As I am. Yeah. You actually look like you don't want to be here. There's three of us. okay yeah go on joe no you do it you're better explaining sure so you've got 45 seconds to um uh not tempt us to impress us impress us with your uh weather personing so and joe's gonna time it and then we're gonna um score everyone at the end of the podcast

1768.227 - 1775.081 Host (David)

I don't know why I said you were good at explaining it. Well, you put pressure on me then. I did, yeah. Right, so in your own time, Maria, whenever you're ready.

1775.702 - 1778.047 Maria

Okay. Do you want to give me a location?

1778.788 - 1786.203 Al

Anywhere in the world. Oh, okay. East Grinstead. East Grinstead in West Sussex.

1786.223 - 1795.86 Maria

Oh, I've got it. East Grinstead, you're in for a treat. In your own time.

Chapter 7: What humorous moments arise during the auditions?

2065.051 - 2071.24 Joe

Bye. Oh, my God.

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2071.26 - 2076.732 Host (David)

Wow. Sunny, is it? That's all she said. Oh, dear. Right.

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2076.752 - 2081.898 Joe

I can't wait to see your scores because I don't know how you've scored them. Right.

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2081.958 - 2083.06 Host (David)

Okay. Shall I recap?

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2083.521 - 2084.121 Joe

Here we go.

2084.562 - 2090.79 Host (David)

So Charlie, the note I wrote for Charlie was just wonderful. Yeah. Michael, I wrote unprepared.

2091.311 - 2092.312 Joe

Was he the budgie guy?

2092.633 - 2123.013 Host (David)

Yeah. Al, I wrote accents made me tense. Vivian, I wrote polite and creamy. Maria, I wrote didn't want to be there. I didn't bother making a note for Faith. Oh, really? Well, because she was the last one. Okay, yeah, of course. I'll put outside. Oh, my God. So, for Charlie, I gave a 10. A 10? 10 out of 10. I gave Charlie 10 out of 10. Okay. No problem with that.

2123.033 - 2157.274 Host (David)

Michael, who was unprepared, I gave 4. Because his budgie was tweeting. I like that. Owl Accents, I gave 3. Okay. Vivian, who was polite and creamy, I also gave a ten. Okay. Maria didn't want to be there. I gave six. And Faye outside, I gave a nine. So she just missed out. She just missed out.

Chapter 8: What final thoughts do the hosts share after the auditions?

2297.635 - 2300.434 Joe

Okay, we probably need to go now because now we're talking about Zoom.

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