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Chatabix

S12 Ep 615 Vault Mondays: In The Army Now and No Pubes

19 May 2025

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.622 - 77.185 Joe

hello this is joe uh welcome to the monday vault uh in this episode james our editor is just putting whatever old depths out randomly uh don't know if it's gonna be any good or shit um but that's the chances you take some of them from the past for a bit anyway cheers That's what comes next. And then it's those two, isn't it, Charles and Eddie?

0

77.726 - 84.857 David

Yeah. He knows his Charles and Eddie like nobody's business.

0

85.117 - 85.458 Unknown

This bit.

0

85.818 - 88.442 Joe

Comes up to play to the...

0

89.215 - 103.251 Unknown

It's really a... There, there. That's being in the booth.

103.271 - 105.773 Joe

Okay, Eddie. What did you just do then?

109.478 - 112.901 David

Fucking hell, my mic has gone insane.

112.921 - 117.071 Joe

You sound like you're in a school hall. Who, me? Who, me?

120.196 - 122.961 Unknown

Fuck you!

Chapter 2: How did Status Quo's 'In The Army Now' impact listeners?

221.235 - 223.56 Joe

Teardrops by Womack and Womack!

0

224.321 - 224.742 Unknown

LAUGHTER

0

225.211 - 232.303 Joe

Tear drops in my eyes. Yeah. Next time. Yes. Next time I'll be a true bitch.

0

232.323 - 233.245 David

Here we go. What about this?

0

238.073 - 275.879 Joe

Oh, fucking hell. Sounds like a game show for a start. God, I thought you were going to say a gay song. No, it's not a gay song to me. God, got to bleep that out. It obviously didn't mean any of it. Oh, God, now bleep that because it sounds like I'm right wing. Fucking hell. So stressful being... I know. I'll play it again. Oh, now obviously I can't hear it. Oh, technical issues.

275.899 - 276.199

Oh, here we go.

276.219 - 302.029 Joe

Oh, I know this. Oh, God, I'm going to get it. Ain't no stopping us now. Tuesday. Or Wednesday or Thursday, whatever. No, we don't. Yeah, maybe. Maybe it is today. Maybe it was yesterday. Here we go.

310.649 - 315.095 David

So this would be in my Desert Island Discs.

315.115 - 315.576 Joe

Oh, really?

Chapter 3: What personal stories are shared about school crushes?

401.076 - 411.514 Joe

Well, you've got to tell me what it is, dickhead. Like, you can't just play. I don't know why I said dickhead.

0

413.283 - 415.689 David

Sorry about that. So tense around music.

0

415.97 - 416.672 Joe

I am a bit.

0

417.153 - 421.324 David

It'd be like me if you showed a bit of modern art.

0

421.344 - 438.52 Joe

Well, I wouldn't have anything to say either. It's all right, isn't it? Well, who is it then? Teen Spirit or something. It's... Who? Smells like Teen Spirit. Is that a thing? Oh, no, it's a Nirvana song.

443.01 - 456.758 David

Who is it? Did you listen to me? I know we've gone out. Did you listen to the music as a teenager? Yeah. Your face could get all serious.

457.859 - 490.742 Joe

Yeah. Yeah. My head's rushing forward. What exactly? My head's rushing forward going, what should I not say? What did you listen to? Top 40. Yeah, a lot of top 40. I'm taping. I did tape it. Never listen back, though. Never listen. Go on. What did you listen? Do you have, like, a stereo in your room? Yes. And I really liked Eric Clapton.

492.072 - 503.424 Joe

which I think is like, you know when people go, oh, it's cool that you're uncool, but that's the sort of level of sort of vanilla that makes you sort of people go, oh, right, you were just nothingy, weren't you?

503.444 - 506.366 David

So what Eric Clapton did you like?

Chapter 4: What memories does the song evoke for the hosts?

558.117 - 575.84 Joe

Yeah. I'm sort of ashamed of everything I'm saying now. I don't know why. Why? I don't know, because I'm so... It feels like you just go, oh, right, OK, that's just nothing, isn't it, really, what you're listening to?

0

575.86 - 581.227 David

What else? What other albums do you remember going, God, I played that to death, that album?

0

581.568 - 610.418 Joe

Michael Jackson Thriller. Yeah. Paul Simon's Cool Meow. I'm word perfect. Just on that one song? No, the whole album. Yeah. The whole album. What was the album called? Grace Fans. Yeah. We can play this game about Grace Fans. She got diamonds on the sores of her feet.

0

610.438 - 611.298 David

What else?

0

611.659 - 613.6 Joe

I used to read the lyrics, if you must know.

614.181 - 618.705 David

I think you are picking musicians that you probably...

618.685 - 627.638 Joe

you'll get away with the listeners will go... No, I didn't feel comfortable about Eric Clapton or ZZ Top. I'm very comfortable with Paul Simon.

628.939 - 632.905 David

Yeah. I listened to Graceland in the Beach Bomber going to golf last week.

632.925 - 655.11 Joe

Great, isn't it? Yeah. What else am I uncomfortable with? Like, what did I... Right, there's an argument I have with my brother that... Because I used to buy a lot of singles... You did? Well, at that age, you'd buy record singles. Did you? Yeah. I didn't buy loads. I'd probably like in total 30.

Chapter 5: How do the hosts feel about their musical tastes from childhood?

745.777 - 754.566 Joe

Now. Isn't that coming from your son's bedroom, hour after hour?

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755.474 - 785.481 David

All the things that you're in the army now. Do you know, You're in the Army Now is a song by the South African-born duo, Dutch duo, Bolland and Bolland. At least in 1982. The song spent six consecutive weeks on the top of the Norwegian singles chart. A cover by British rock band Status Quo, simplified as In the Army Now, was internationally successful in 1980.

0

785.461 - 798.845 Joe

Do you think any other podcast, and remember there's two million podcasts, have chatted about states closing the army?

0

798.985 - 801.85 David

We're wondering why we're floating around the top 20.

0

804.175 - 811.086 Joe

With the content, we are fucking flying. God, yeah.

811.647 - 834.722 David

In 1986, British rock band Status Quo covered In The Army Now on their 1986 album with the same name. Their version leaked at numbers by a UK singles chart. In September 2010, Saints Quo released a new version of the song with the Corps of Armed Choir through their label Universal, and the lyrics were changed to a pro-soldier version.

835.523 - 844.755 David

All profits from this updated version were donated to the British Forces Foundation. This charted at numbers of 31 in the UK singles chart.

844.775 - 858.03 Joe

What percentage of our listeners have ever heard that song before? Stick it on again. I really hate it. I love it. I really hate it. I can't believe how much I loved it.

860.212 - 885.318 Unknown

Oh, no! Look at your face.

Chapter 6: What humorous moments arise during the discussion?

1027.518 - 1031.584 David

Yeah. Is it? Not really, but I'm... I bet none of this is recording.

0

1033.286 - 1035.389 Joe

Oh, fuck, is it recording? Yeah, it is recording.

0

1035.409 - 1043.601 David

Yeah, yeah. Shit. Yeah, this is another song that... They remind me of the... They gave me the same feeling.

0

1049.386 - 1066.706 Joe

Yeah, dude. Don't, this is a belter.

0

1066.726 - 1070.37 Unknown

No, no, don't sing over it. Don't sing over it. I want to listen to a bit more.

1070.39 - 1070.871

Yeah, I still love this.

1071.205 - 1072.487 David

I mean, I like it now.

1073.709 - 1100.149 Joe

Just then, it's just... Do you know what? Remember we talked about R.E.M. making me cry? Yeah, this makes you cry. This was one of the ones that would make me cry. Oh, wow. Well, not cry, but just go, sometimes life is hard, isn't it? One of those. We've all got to be nicer to each other. What was I fucking on about?

1100.5 - 1103.165 David

Didn't she really like Brett?

Chapter 7: What insights are shared about growing up and relationships?

1235.209 - 1237.292 David

I really did.

0

1237.745 - 1242.65 Joe

And pubeless.

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1245.914 - 1252.621 David

What's a dictionary definition of pubeless? Sons pubes.

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1256.245 - 1270.637 Joe

Pre-pubescent. Pubeless. Without pubic hair. That's what I thought. But with Rubik's Cube. Lacking a pube. Lacking a pube.

0

1276.71 - 1282.603 Unknown

It's such a good word.

1282.623 - 1287.751 Joe

Why are you in a hotel again? Went away for the weekend.

1289.373 - 1290.715 David

No, we were on a school trip.

1294.84 - 1301.289 Joe

Honestly, I really felt it. You used to do city breaks on your own.

1301.329 - 1302.471 David

Me and my bald nuts.

Chapter 8: How does the episode conclude with reflections on nostalgia?

1473.417 - 1496.391 Joe

Someone left a... A girl left a card in my bedroom. In your bedroom? Yeah, she'd been round. I can't remember how it happened, but she left it. What, your mum's friend? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. A couple of days before she passed. No, no. And it was in there, it was a little... Oh, she didn't even say that bit. No, of course she... She fucking gives a shit. What the hell is wrong with me?

0

1496.831 - 1522.242 Joe

She left a little porcelain thing. And I did not know what to do with that information. You know, like, it... Basically, it was all I thought about... I couldn't get my... That she gave you a pig? A pig and a card, yeah. Yeah. It blew my mind. I couldn't really focus on anything else for about two weeks.

0
0

1524.185 - 1532.118 Joe

I kept it for years. What was her name? I'm not saying, because I'm still friends with her. I occasionally see her brother.

0

1534.182 - 1537.347 David

You have a lot of relationships with people from your past.

1544.836 - 1557.031 Joe

I must put distance between you and your past. Why must I put distance between you and my... You mustn't. You said it and you know a lot of people.

1557.131 - 1567.583 David

No, it's because I haven't really, I don't think. Really? Well, not girlfriends that I went out with.

1567.603 - 1584.068 Joe

No, it's not that. I didn't go out with her anyway. I wasn't my backup. I didn't go out with her. God, do you remember all that brain space you put in all that? I think... You going out with her? Oh, God. So stressful.

1584.088 - 1593.038 David

Well, I told you I was dumped for kissing. Oh, kissing badly? Kissing badly, yeah. Yeah.

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