Chapter 1: What are Joe and David's thoughts on smoking weed?
now. What? Just busy morning.
Too much going on? Yeah. I've got to go and do a pod. I've got to go and pod. No, because it's got people to deal with and what not. Did you say at any point I need to go and pod?
No, I just said, oh, I'm busy. Oh, I'm rushing around, I'm busy. But you didn't say podding. No.
No, because then that starts a conversation. But I never say it anyway. I need to work on, I need to, I mean, just... You don't need to say it, do you? No, because I don't want to as well.
You need to give specifics to everything, yeah.
But also, if it was something else, I would. If it wasn't podding, I'd go, oh, I just need to live upstairs.
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Chapter 2: What experiences did they have at the Queens tennis tournament?
I had to use this yesterday, first time playing.
Oh, no. Yeah. That was an asthma, that was an inhaler. Yeah, the asthma inhaler. Oh, what, did you get a tight chest?
Yeah, I had it for four days. Is it scary? I'll tell you what always happens, I rarely get asthma. And I said to Petra, I've been coughing a lot, I've got a tight chest, I don't know what's going on, I think I've got a chest, and she said, asthma. And I was like, oh yeah, I forget, because I get it so rarely.
What brings it on?
Cats, horses.
Right, is that it?
Yep.
That's really unsexy.
I know. If you know someone, if you know anyone, I know a few people that have asthma pumps and they use them quite a lot, so they sort of be chatting and they go, yeah, yeah, no, I think I'll... And it's like, wow. Does it really help immediately? Yeah.
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Chapter 3: What type of men does David express a preference for?
And there's my brownie. There's my brownie. What's the brownie for? That's the one I should be taking every day that stops you getting asthma. Why don't you take it? Because I forget. What should we puff on the puffers?
Just going on about puffing, someone mentioned on Patreon that a steward's inquiry is needed because they think you did smoke a bit of puff in the day, but you don't want to admit it.
I've told you, I smoked it twice. i've been straight off the bat i think you have to believe it i've stuck to the same story because it's true court of law i wouldn't have any worry how did you know so much about it a paraphernalia i think because it's around like i was around it people doing it and i found it quite funny
Here we go.
That, that, the tongue. Why is it funny? Oh, we're not doing this again. It's stupid. But why is it funny? Because it's stupid, isn't it? It's like everyone thinks there's an art to... I'm really good at rolling a joint. It makes me cool, doesn't it?
Does it?
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Chapter 4: What ideas do Joe and David have about opening a clothes shop?
Even now, if you're at a party and you're a 50-year-old...
I think most people our age, if they smoke weed, would have the good grace not to roll in front of them. If they smoke weed. Can't just say smoke weed. No, I literally can't. I find it embarrassing saying it. they would have it pre-rolled and I think they'd be a bit like this. They'd have it pre-rolled. Someone would go, do you want a bit of this? And it would be under the radar.
It would be like, ooh, making a big scene.
I was at a party recently and started skinning up on the table. You did? No, someone did. Fucking hell, I thought you did.
That's come down hard on me. Just burning the head. Would you like to see me do it for the pod? I would love to watch you roll the joint. To tilt the camera down to your little hands doing it.
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Chapter 5: How do Joe and David feel about shopping for women's clothes?
That was half the joy, getting a little wooden box out, a little polished wooden box that I bought from the lanes in Brighton. Polished wooden.
Don't suppose you sell weed boxes, do you? Oh, yeah, a little velvet interior. It's like Pulp Fiction or something. Yeah, it's very similar. Yeah, it is. Not in a good way. Not a compliment.
Take your Rizzlers and throw them in the bin. It's not something I am interested in. Take the powder and flush it down the loop It's not something that I need to do Take your tablets and put them down the drain
I've no time for a chemically altered brain I like meatballs, I'll eat them all day Meatballs, I like meatballs And I look the other way He's never done drugs, no He wasn't too fussed, no He looks down his nose
Just say Joe He's never done speed, no He's not found the need, no He's shaking his head Just say Joe He's never done coke, no He thinks it's a joke, no He sneers at the youth Just say Joe He's never smoked a bong. He thinks it's all wrong. He tuts through his teeth. Just say jump. Anyway, there was something I wanted to say quickly I
You know your text, you said, I read a few Crunch Crunches recently.
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Chapter 6: What humorous stories do they share about 'Crunch Crunches'?
I was like, oh yeah, lovely. Super. But I went to the tennis with Petra and a couple of friends on Saturday. What, Stella? Artois? Stella Artois? Queens in... In West London. I thought, what's the one at Eastbourne? Oh, yeah, no, that's Eastbourne. Don't know. Right. This is in, like, West Kensington or Kensington or where am I? Why didn't you, Queens, right? That's what it's called.
This is pre-Wimbledon.
Yeah, it's like a warm-up to Wimbledon. Warm-up, right. But anyway, so I was sat there and I set a picture there of my friend Sel there and my friend Ben there. And a chap in front of me, a really nice chap.
Chapter 7: What challenges do they foresee in running a clothes shop?
Your friend Ben?
My friend Ben there. My friend Sel there. Who's who?
Is it Petra's friends or your friends?
Well, they're her friends, yes. They know them through her, yeah. Thank you. That makes more sense, doesn't it? Makes loads more sense. Yeah, yeah. And I hadn't arranged this, if that's what you're wondering.
LAUGHTER
I love that you're just now sat at Queen's. How did this happen? Where are we going now? We're going home, OK? Now I'm sat at home. So my friend, Barry, or not your friend, Petra's friend.
What's your name, mate?
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Chapter 8: What is the significance of style in their envisioned clothing store?
What's your name, mate? Oh, God. We're going home now. So true. Are we? What was that? We're going to what? Queens? That just made me laugh when you said we're going home now. I think that actually happened. Oh, cool. Have a nice day. When did you find out you're going to Queens? That's quite exciting. Oh, a couple of months ago. Petra's really got some tennis.
And I thought, well, it's a nice day out. Yeah, I'll go, yeah.
Well, that's good of you. I'll get up for the session for that. That's not a problem. What is the problem? For you, my darling. The love of my life, I will come to tell you. How much of you went, oh, fuck, we've got to go to Queens? Like part of you wanted to go, part of you were like, oh, really? Well, every human being on every… Don't even know Barry that well.
Every human being, regardless, I don't believe, regardless of what you're doing, would have a percentage going, I can't be honest. Yeah, definitely. So I'm not on my own there. But no, I was up for it because it was like, it's a nice thing to do. Anyway, that was not the point.
The point was, there was a chap in front of me and he sat down with a bit, him and his friends sat down and he turned around, he went, crunch, crunch. And I went, oh, thank you. But it was, there's something about it that was amazing because it was more like, it wasn't, it was more of a like, how you doing? It wasn't a,
was really throw away but it was just like a you know because you get crunch crunch and it was like ah and he was just like oh cross country never never looked back never engaged just was like it was like just a nod it was a mason's place well it's more like it was a mason not quite yeah i was like and then a friend went better friend went um what's that
was that yeah obviously unraveled down yeah but forgetting that bit but could he he couldn't hear you explain what it was no i don't think so but it was just more what my point was is it was just amazing because it was just a a dolphin of the cap yeah crunch crunch that was it that was it And I've had a few, because you get a lot of different types of Crunch Crunches. You get Crunch Crunch, eh?
Yeah.
But this was just, I don't know, impeccable. Yeah. Impeccable. No, that's really nice. So if you were the chap at Queen's who went Crunch Crunch and then just as casual as anything, it was wonderful. There are a lot out there. It's very weird. It's fantastic. My Petra's friend said, once I explained to her, she goes, do you like it? I said, yeah. I love Crunch Crunches.
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