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Chatabix

S13 Ep 647: Crunch Crunches and Opening A Clothes Shop

01 Jul 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What are Joe and David's thoughts on smoking weed?

39.113 - 43.781 David

now. What? Just busy morning.

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45.824 - 58.945 Joe

Too much going on? Yeah. I've got to go and do a pod. I've got to go and pod. No, because it's got people to deal with and what not. Did you say at any point I need to go and pod?

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59.448 - 64.294 David

No, I just said, oh, I'm busy. Oh, I'm rushing around, I'm busy. But you didn't say podding. No.

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64.774 - 75.226 Joe

No, because then that starts a conversation. But I never say it anyway. I need to work on, I need to, I mean, just... You don't need to say it, do you? No, because I don't want to as well.

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75.486 - 77.348 David

You need to give specifics to everything, yeah.

77.949 - 85.458 Joe

But also, if it was something else, I would. If it wasn't podding, I'd go, oh, I just need to live upstairs.

Chapter 2: What experiences did they have at the Queens tennis tournament?

85.498 - 88.782 Joe

I had to use this yesterday, first time playing.

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88.802 - 97.056 David

Oh, no. Yeah. That was an asthma, that was an inhaler. Yeah, the asthma inhaler. Oh, what, did you get a tight chest?

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97.377 - 112.837 Joe

Yeah, I had it for four days. Is it scary? I'll tell you what always happens, I rarely get asthma. And I said to Petra, I've been coughing a lot, I've got a tight chest, I don't know what's going on, I think I've got a chest, and she said, asthma. And I was like, oh yeah, I forget, because I get it so rarely.

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113.818 - 115.16 David

What brings it on?

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116.242 - 118.024 Joe

Cats, horses.

119.607 - 123.513 David

Right, is that it?

123.533 - 123.614

Yep.

123.634 - 125.517 David

That's really unsexy.

125.657 - 142.324 Joe

I know. If you know someone, if you know anyone, I know a few people that have asthma pumps and they use them quite a lot, so they sort of be chatting and they go, yeah, yeah, no, I think I'll... And it's like, wow. Does it really help immediately? Yeah.

Chapter 3: What type of men does David express a preference for?

142.76 - 158.738 Joe

And there's my brownie. There's my brownie. What's the brownie for? That's the one I should be taking every day that stops you getting asthma. Why don't you take it? Because I forget. What should we puff on the puffers?

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159.279 - 168.41 David

Just going on about puffing, someone mentioned on Patreon that a steward's inquiry is needed because they think you did smoke a bit of puff in the day, but you don't want to admit it.

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168.73 - 197.826 Joe

I've told you, I smoked it twice. i've been straight off the bat i think you have to believe it i've stuck to the same story because it's true court of law i wouldn't have any worry how did you know so much about it a paraphernalia i think because it's around like i was around it people doing it and i found it quite funny

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199.898 - 200.699 Unknown

Here we go.

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202.141 - 218.9 Joe

That, that, the tongue. Why is it funny? Oh, we're not doing this again. It's stupid. But why is it funny? Because it's stupid, isn't it? It's like everyone thinks there's an art to... I'm really good at rolling a joint. It makes me cool, doesn't it?

221.783 - 222.203 David

Does it?

Chapter 4: What ideas do Joe and David have about opening a clothes shop?

223.164 - 226.328 David

Even now, if you're at a party and you're a 50-year-old...

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227.708 - 252.695 Joe

I think most people our age, if they smoke weed, would have the good grace not to roll in front of them. If they smoke weed. Can't just say smoke weed. No, I literally can't. I find it embarrassing saying it. they would have it pre-rolled and I think they'd be a bit like this. They'd have it pre-rolled. Someone would go, do you want a bit of this? And it would be under the radar.

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252.775 - 255.157 Joe

It would be like, ooh, making a big scene.

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255.177 - 264.486 David

I was at a party recently and started skinning up on the table. You did? No, someone did. Fucking hell, I thought you did.

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264.506 - 278.923 Joe

That's come down hard on me. Just burning the head. Would you like to see me do it for the pod? I would love to watch you roll the joint. To tilt the camera down to your little hands doing it.

Chapter 5: How do Joe and David feel about shopping for women's clothes?

279.404 - 286.537 David

That was half the joy, getting a little wooden box out, a little polished wooden box that I bought from the lanes in Brighton. Polished wooden.

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286.937 - 306.119 Joe

Don't suppose you sell weed boxes, do you? Oh, yeah, a little velvet interior. It's like Pulp Fiction or something. Yeah, it's very similar. Yeah, it is. Not in a good way. Not a compliment.

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307.46 - 339.255 Unknown

Take your Rizzlers and throw them in the bin. It's not something I am interested in. Take the powder and flush it down the loop It's not something that I need to do Take your tablets and put them down the drain

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340.889 - 368.044 Unknown

I've no time for a chemically altered brain I like meatballs, I'll eat them all day Meatballs, I like meatballs And I look the other way He's never done drugs, no He wasn't too fussed, no He looks down his nose

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369.458 - 444.522 Unknown

Just say Joe He's never done speed, no He's not found the need, no He's shaking his head Just say Joe He's never done coke, no He thinks it's a joke, no He sneers at the youth Just say Joe He's never smoked a bong. He thinks it's all wrong. He tuts through his teeth. Just say jump. Anyway, there was something I wanted to say quickly I

444.687 - 448.555 Joe

You know your text, you said, I read a few Crunch Crunches recently.

Chapter 6: What humorous stories do they share about 'Crunch Crunches'?

448.695 - 479.343 Joe

I was like, oh yeah, lovely. Super. But I went to the tennis with Petra and a couple of friends on Saturday. What, Stella? Artois? Stella Artois? Queens in... In West London. I thought, what's the one at Eastbourne? Oh, yeah, no, that's Eastbourne. Don't know. Right. This is in, like, West Kensington or Kensington or where am I? Why didn't you, Queens, right? That's what it's called.

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479.363 - 480.624 David

This is pre-Wimbledon.

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480.905 - 494.922 Joe

Yeah, it's like a warm-up to Wimbledon. Warm-up, right. But anyway, so I was sat there and I set a picture there of my friend Sel there and my friend Ben there. And a chap in front of me, a really nice chap.

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Chapter 7: What challenges do they foresee in running a clothes shop?

495.022 - 496.023 David

Your friend Ben?

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497.525 - 501.529 Joe

My friend Ben there. My friend Sel there. Who's who?

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501.669 - 503.431 David

Is it Petra's friends or your friends?

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503.451 - 519.807 Joe

Well, they're her friends, yes. They know them through her, yeah. Thank you. That makes more sense, doesn't it? Makes loads more sense. Yeah, yeah. And I hadn't arranged this, if that's what you're wondering.

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519.827 - 519.987

LAUGHTER

520.945 - 543.481 David

I love that you're just now sat at Queen's. How did this happen? Where are we going now? We're going home, OK? Now I'm sat at home. So my friend, Barry, or not your friend, Petra's friend.

543.501 - 544.323 Joe

What's your name, mate?

Chapter 8: What is the significance of style in their envisioned clothing store?

544.544 - 565.063 Joe

What's your name, mate? Oh, God. We're going home now. So true. Are we? What was that? We're going to what? Queens? That just made me laugh when you said we're going home now. I think that actually happened. Oh, cool. Have a nice day. When did you find out you're going to Queens? That's quite exciting. Oh, a couple of months ago. Petra's really got some tennis.

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565.083 - 574.498 Joe

And I thought, well, it's a nice day out. Yeah, I'll go, yeah.

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574.518 - 597.403 David

Well, that's good of you. I'll get up for the session for that. That's not a problem. What is the problem? For you, my darling. The love of my life, I will come to tell you. How much of you went, oh, fuck, we've got to go to Queens? Like part of you wanted to go, part of you were like, oh, really? Well, every human being on every… Don't even know Barry that well.

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597.423 - 611.683 Joe

Every human being, regardless, I don't believe, regardless of what you're doing, would have a percentage going, I can't be honest. Yeah, definitely. So I'm not on my own there. But no, I was up for it because it was like, it's a nice thing to do. Anyway, that was not the point.

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612.524 - 633.572 Joe

The point was, there was a chap in front of me and he sat down with a bit, him and his friends sat down and he turned around, he went, crunch, crunch. And I went, oh, thank you. But it was, there's something about it that was amazing because it was more like, it wasn't, it was more of a like, how you doing? It wasn't a,

634.295 - 661.922 Joe

was really throw away but it was just like a you know because you get crunch crunch and it was like ah and he was just like oh cross country never never looked back never engaged just was like it was like just a nod it was a mason's place well it's more like it was a mason not quite yeah i was like and then a friend went better friend went um what's that

663.353 - 689.542 Joe

was that yeah obviously unraveled down yeah but forgetting that bit but could he he couldn't hear you explain what it was no i don't think so but it was just more what my point was is it was just amazing because it was just a a dolphin of the cap yeah crunch crunch that was it that was it And I've had a few, because you get a lot of different types of Crunch Crunches. You get Crunch Crunch, eh?

689.562 - 689.703 Unknown

Yeah.

690.123 - 710.779 Joe

But this was just, I don't know, impeccable. Yeah. Impeccable. No, that's really nice. So if you were the chap at Queen's who went Crunch Crunch and then just as casual as anything, it was wonderful. There are a lot out there. It's very weird. It's fantastic. My Petra's friend said, once I explained to her, she goes, do you like it? I said, yeah. I love Crunch Crunches.

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