Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Good morning. Good morning. How are you? Good. Pretty good.
Chapter 2: How did Joe handle his builders when they arrived?
Do you want to know how I dealt with my builders this morning?
Yeah.
I was... I was frosty. Were you? I was frosty.
In what way?
Well, because, you know, we've had trouble with stuff in the past with something they did.
Yeah.
We've come back to fix it.
Oh, so you had to let them know you weren't happy?
Yeah. Yeah. Don't think it went in.
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Chapter 3: What embarrassing moment did David experience while listening to a recent episode?
No, I just get swept up on it. And if you go, but are you actually frosty about it? I go, am I frosty about that? No. I'm frosty about her reaction to the thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What sort of light is it? Is it just an outside light? Cut this.
It's not actually a light, but I'm saying light, so they don't actually hear.
Oh, please keep that in. It's so weird. I don't know what that means. Cut this. It's not actually a light, but I'm just saying it's a light. Okay. Okay, everyone. And we go again. Action. It's so weird. What is it then?
No, because I don't want... If it ever got back to... A gnome? Say a gnome.
What is it? So now I need to know what you're not bothered about. No, I'll text you. Cut this. It's not actually... James? So vague. I don't quite know what it is. Is that why you're saying it's a light? You don't know what it does?
I'm saying a light to frown off the scent.
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Chapter 4: What caused David to abandon a family meal at a busy pub?
I thought you meant the listeners. Oh, the fucking people. Oh, I get it. I get it.
right i say i'm trying to yeah yeah yeah one step ahead of me but yeah it's just hard to kind of portray annoyed and you know just i just like you haven't done it you you've messed us about yeah you've messed us about god that was feeble
Basically, have they messed us about? Yeah.
Called into Petra, they've messed us about, yeah. She's had to make call after call. I haven't. So, anyway, how are you?
I'm all right. Yeah. Can I say something? I don't want to destabilise the energy or the pod, but I listen to... an episode a couple of days ago, one of the new ones.
Of what? Of us?
Yeah.
Oh shit, why can't it be someone else's pod? Okay, what's wrong with you?
And I was really uncomfortable with me.
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Chapter 5: What old jobs did Joe and David reminisce about?
bring in the goods i'm just like just a bloke i think what's quite good for me in this is you're not great at hiding when something's making you feel awkward so i think i stopped before you because if i'm going off and it's not funny you go So it's like an early warning system. Maybe I don't give off early warning systems like you do. Right. Because you sort of go, hmm, hmm. And I go, ooh, fuck.
Well, obviously you don't because... Do you know what? I'm so tempted to listen back, but I think I'd just... It'd be quite brave of you because you're actually... It's just really, really boring. There's one bit where I went, oh, that's it. It's talking about Rod Stewart's brother. Do you know what? I could listen to this because it really fucking annoyed me when I heard me say this.
I just went, what's Joe's brother?
Fuck.
I was listening to it going, why is he saying fuck? Yeah, I want to know now. Why were you? There must have been context. No. It's sort of a shock jock.
No, no, it wasn't that. It's like I was ending the, we were talking about Rod Stewart's brother and that's how I ended it. I went, Rod Stewart's brother, fuck.
Right, can I defend you? You can, but it's not real. Sometimes I think you just think, okay, I won't bother. I think sometimes you just think, blimey, it must be weird being Rod Stewart's brother or something like that. And it just, you're in your own head and you just say, it's like a...
I just found it really irritating. And if I was listening to that, I'd go, you're not bringing anything by saying Rod Stewart's brother. Fuck.
What's so fucking amazing about that? Do you reckon we need a sort of...
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Chapter 6: How did David's tummy troubles affect his dining experience?
Even at that age, I sort of felt sorry for them. I noticed. I was constantly trying to keep up. They look like the Krays. Yeah, mate, they do, yeah.
I love you landed on this bit. I'll have a little listen to this. Oh, shit. It was unbearable.
It was really bad, like seven minutes of podding from my side. Like this might come out to say, I don't know. It was what? Oh, I never think that. Yes, you did. You just said I was two decibels louder.
No, I didn't say it as a negative.
I just remember you had energy. It's not a fucking positive, is it?
Well, Joan Rivers, you wouldn't say she's loud, but she's... I would. Okay, well, God rest her soul. Um... What I meant was, I just remembered that energy.
There's nothing funny. I wasn't bringing any kind of Jim Carrey-ness. It was just not, just loud, loud, man.
Jim Carrey-ness. ever bring jim i don't think i'd last very long whatever he does all righty now i'm like fucking hell It's not the new Rick Bile, is it? Are you sticking your tongue out like you're wearing?
I didn't like it. I didn't like it. I did not like it one bit. That's not being over. Anyway, I just didn't think it was good enough.
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Chapter 7: What humorous anecdotes did they share about working in the pub industry?
I don't.
No, what is one... Bit of comfort.
Yeah, I should imagine so. People say, you know.
I just thought if new people came, I am not going to attract them at all. I'm going to repel them. So you want a new person to come and go, fucking hell, that was funny. Who's he? He's funny. I don't believe that anyway. Well, okay. Well, listen to that.
Listen to that section. All right. Don't anyone do this, but if you had to go 10 best bits, 10 worst bits of the pod ever, those 10 worst bits would be fucking dreadful. And most pods would go, we've taken this 30 seconds. What's the best podcast ever? I don't know. Adam Buxton. Ours, yeah, Ours. Let's take Ours as that example. Say Adam Buxton or whatever. No, Ours. You just said Ours was shit.
And it wouldn't attract any new listeners. So I'm going to say Adam Buxton, you go, the rest is politics. The rest is politics. Right. So someone went in and listened to the first hundred EPS of the rest is politics. And they found the 10 worst bits and put them online. No one do this. Obviously you'd go, fuck, I'm not listening to that.
It's just like... I don't think you would with that. Is it Rory Stewart? His voice is so creamy. I thought you were going to say cringey. No, it's so creamy.
No, I'm not saying it's cringey. But you could find ten...
Okay, well, it was a bad, bad section for me. And it just worried me. I went, Christ, if I'm putting this out, I'm not seeing what I'm putting out.
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Chapter 8: How do Joe and David feel about crowded places?
I go, what have I added then? That last 20 seconds, I went, absolute... And I do that all the time. I go, in my head, I go, no value. Absolutely no value. But you try talking for 52 minutes every day. Give yourself a break, young man.
Well, it wasn't funny. It wasn't good enough. And I also thought, why are you talking about the Linda Lisa? You've done this. You've done all this. You've mentioned it three or four times. There's a fucking T-shirt with it on.
Well, I'm pretty sure we repeat most things. People say, we've still got some listeners. Yeah. How do we get you out of this fog? I don't think we can in this F. This F is what it is. David's in a fog.
You in a fog? I've had tummy troubles over the weekend.
Okay, and he says about not adding value.
And I put it down to, I think I've had, don't worry about it, but what I've been eating, I don't think it's been... Why do you say don't worry about it's what I've been eating? I think I've had too much, don't worry about it.
Why do you keep saying don't worry about it? I'm not worried about it. Just fucking finish the sentence.
Look, the point is I've had tummy troubles. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. We went out to a place called... And I said to Naomi, can we go out that way? She always wants to go the other way.
I honestly don't know what's going on. Fucking, I'm with you. She wants to go that. I want to go that way. What are you on about?
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