Chapter 1: What is the premise of the Vault Mondays episode?
hello this is joe uh welcome to the monday vault uh in this episode james our editor is just putting whatever old depths out randomly uh don't know if it's gonna be any good or shit um but that's the chances you take some of them from the past for a bit anyway cheers
Hello, hello, hello. Hello, everyone. It's David here. David here of Chattabix fame. Joe's not around because he's filming. Eight out of ten cats does Countdown. So he's up in Manchester, so I'm in the flat on my own, just enjoying the space and the freedom, really.
But primarily I'm here to explain to you that the first sort of 10, 15 minutes of the recording this morning fucked up because Joe... I recorded his side of the conversation but forgot to save it.
Chapter 2: Why did the recording fail and what was lost?
And I didn't record on... Oh dear, I've just had a large glass of wine, so I'm feeling a little bit fruity. Basically, we lost about 15 minutes of Chatterbox this morning, and it was brilliant. It was actually very, very, very good. So we haven't got that to play to you, but what we have got is the last 12 minutes, and...
The last 12 minutes is Joe coming in to my part of the flat to use my mic, and then he wanted to play a song that I'd written from 1991 called Believe, The Colour of Mary, performing it. So it's a song called Believe, and he wanted to play that whilst we got ready before we went to work.
on the cock fields so that's why this episode isn't uh isn't quite as good as the the other episodes so apologies and i'll be amazed if any of you get through this anyhow um what can i do maybe i can do something just to uh excite you i could i could um I could play you a couple of Colour of Mary songs and sort of explain the thought process behind them. What do you want to know?
Chapter 3: What song from 1991 is featured in this episode?
This is called Hopeless, which doesn't bode well.
MUSIC PLAYS
Okay, now. I'm sort of bored already. Let's see. I'll give it another song a go. Let go. Here we go. Let go. Let's see what this is like.
Chapter 4: How do the hosts feel about the quality of this episode?
Okay, so I'll just play the rest of what we recorded this morning. So it's me and Joe listening to a song I wrote in 1991 called Believe. Thank you, everyone, for listening. Merry Christmas, Chatterbiscuits. Thanks for supporting the show. If you like the show...
then go over to iTunes or wherever you listen to this goddamn piece of shit and review it and give it five stars and leave a lovely comment. If you don't like it, for all those people who go and leave a three star or a two star, why bother? What sort of idiot are you? God, leave us alone. Anyway, thanks everyone. Have a nice day and have a nice day. Bye for now. Oh, if you want. Okay.
Oh, I don't know what to say now you're sat in front of. You sit there. You sit there and don't look at me. Oh, hang on. You're going to have to turn that off because we're getting feedback.
Chapter 5: What insights are shared about the song 'Believe'?
I can't. This is trash. It's not even... Oh, cheers, buddy.
How do I get into it? Can you hear me on the mic?
Yeah, I've just got to be careful with this. Oh, God, it's like we're singing harmonies. Fucking hell.
Hello. This doesn't work, does it? Us sat together. Well, it is what it is. Fucking horrible. It is what it was. So your mic plays up as well? Yeah, but not as much as yours. OK. Now we're sat with each other. How do you feel?
Chapter 6: How do the hosts plan to engage with their audience?
I don't know. It's horrible. It's not one of the past. Different kind of energy, that's for sure. Yeah, I'm going to go back in the other room. Are you? I don't like it.
Sit through it. I'll give you 30 quid if you can sit with me. No, I don't want it. I don't want your money. Well, you have to, because we've literally got five minutes.
All right. OK. I'll set... OK. It's really gone weird. Okay, Underwater Compilation 2. Is that your... Yeah, they're just different folders. Okay, our lives. These are the names.
Chapter 7: What humorous exchanges occur during the episode?
God, 14. Fucking hell. These are all your tracks? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? I don't know. Someone's impressed. Why don't we just do one a week, just like a Friday, we just do one of these songs and it's the best fucking thing in the world. And you've got fucking loads. Inside World, Umbrella Smiles, what the fuck?
LAUGHTER
These are things you haven't even told me about. I have. No, you've never said umbrella smiles. Believe, miss his face. I wish. Clowns. Happy, happy girl. Obviously. Hopeless. If this is the last time, let go. Looking out. Autumn. Live. A thousand days interests me. A thousand days interests you? Yeah. Well, let's fucking put it on. This is... You've not said you've got so many.
God, you... A thousand days...
Chapter 8: What final thoughts do the hosts share before ending the episode?
Oh, yeah.
Trash.
I'm not saying... It's just boring.
No, it's not. Yeah, it is. It's not for me. From below. Oh, God. Can I say what I feel? It feels like everyone's not quite on it with their instruments and no one wants to play anything slightly faster.
Oh, is that right? Then I think we should listen to Lost Again. Oh, here we go. Everyone got... Oh, so... Right, OK.
Can I give you some... Is that one playing backwards?
Yeah.
Really?
So this is... We've got two minutes left. Might as well end with this. It sort of suits our... I think this was played at the Wire Mill just outside of East Grinstead. And it was awful on the night. And then the recording basically chewed it up and played it backwards. Do you want to hear it backwards? Like a bad song played backwards to end the show.
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