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Chatabix

S14 Ep 745: Joe's Midas Month and that Waitrose Christmas Advert

02 Dec 2025

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What was Joe's experience like filming the Waitrose Christmas advert?

37.696 - 38.176 David

Morning.

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38.737 - 39.157 Joe

Morning.

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39.758 - 40.218 David

Sorry about that.

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40.739 - 41.7 Joe

That's alright. How are you doing?

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42.861 - 44.803 David

I'm alright, yeah. I'm in Manchester.

45.623 - 45.904 Joe

Yeah.

48.846 - 65.862 Unknown

Yeah. Nice to see you. See you nice. I'm in Manchester. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you are. Just sent you a little picture quickly.

65.882 - 65.982 Joe

Okay.

69.488 - 70.63 Unknown

They're like a tall you.

Chapter 2: How did Joe feel about his newfound fame after The Celebrity Traitors?

287.848 - 288.529 David

No, not at all.

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291.952 - 327.372 Unknown

Well, what's your point on that, is it? Okay, what you feel about controllers, I feel about goggles. Okay. Sometimes the feeling of being a prat overweighs... So this is too much? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's exactly what I don't like. Do you know what I don't like? What? I don't know. You're trying to reach for something that I do. Something that I've told you I've got into.

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327.733 - 362.954 Unknown

Staring at inane ITV dramas. all your fucking life some reason that they'll never affect me no that's something i love yeah is that what you did listen i feel a bit silly i just imagine turning up to meet you and you being mid-game and and and having to wait for you to pause it just go just i'm just gonna rest on the bridge Now I'm ready to pause.

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362.974 - 367.101 Joe

Trying to work out what this is that you're really uncomfortable with.

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368.022 - 381.666 David

I'd feel a wally. If I was sat in my lounge and I hadn't heard the doorbell go and people had been invited in and I was mid playing a boxing game or something.

382.747 - 398.773 Joe

Oh, that fucking good fight night. You fucking love it. All right, well, what about if you play on a PC? So you haven't got to do that. You're literally just using your mouse and doing Football Manager. So there is no controller.

399.496 - 426.043 Joe

I don't mind like a one where is a football manager like you take like Gillingham to the Champions League yeah yeah but no one's running about I don't have to run about as an avatar do I so is it like the performative is it the performance thing you're you're sort of trying and you're performing and you're kind of you're letting go basically I don't want to go like that thing you did you know

426.192 - 468.961 Unknown

But you do that when you watch Martin Clunes, you'll go, I'm like this. You'll go, wow, that was good, wasn't it, Petra? Or you'll do something. I'm not interacting with it. I'm the watcher. I'm not the doer. You said you wanted to be a doer. Listen, I understand. I'm just saying don't. Yeah, so you feel a bit of a prat when you're a cowboy or something. I streamed Sunday night lawn mowing.

469.441 - 471.484 Unknown

That's sort of kooky though, isn't it?

Chapter 3: What did Joe think about kissing Keira Knightley on camera?

652.076 - 654.959 Joe

You've seen the script. What are you thinking?

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655.74 - 668.309 Unknown

Uh... Well, obviously, you sent me a picture the other day going, can I read exactly what you said? Because it was quite specific.

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669.17 - 676.737 David

Because it was like, so you sent a picture of me about two inches from Keira Knightley's face.

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677.558 - 714.252 Unknown

And you said, if you think we're not talking about you, you'll be very much mistaken. You're really in the orange glow. but you it is so worded like if you think we're not talking about this you'll be very much mistaken threatening so many people sending me like patreon and instagram everyone wants to know otherwise you wouldn't have asked right lay it on other people you

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714.569 - 736.037 Unknown

if i did that if that appeared on your tv screen and i hadn't told you about it what would you say i'd assumed you've been on an nda yeah no what would you no yeah i mean me going like that i'd probably send a picture of you doing that and going if you think you're not talking about this you're very much mistaken

737.165 - 743.675 Joe

Right then, be in my shoes for a change and think about how fucking delicious.

745.238 - 749.024 Unknown

Be in my shoes for a change. The hardship you go through.

749.104 - 758.418 Joe

If I've just done a big Waitrose Christmas ad and snogged Sharon Stone, you'd go, fucking hell, mate.

758.438 - 762.244 Unknown

Who did you say you had in your film? Oh, Susan Sarandon.

Chapter 4: How does Joe handle the pressure of being in the spotlight?

1025.92 - 1045.862 Unknown

Coffee pods. Here's coffee pods one. I'll be the new Lorraine Chase. Lorraine Chase. The water in my joker. Oh. George Clooney. Think about that, Chinzano. Oh, Lorraine Chase. What was the question?

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1046.903 - 1051.228 David

No, yours. Oh, Meta. So I was sat in my...

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1052.238 - 1078.633 Unknown

trailer thing and someone come and said would you like to meet kira nightly here we go here we go here we go no they didn't say kira nightly said you want to meet kira yeah here we go every year here we go everyone and i was a bit like fuck suddenly like oh fucking hell this is a bit uh talk of christmas you and kira at the talk of christmas and go wow i suppose i am actually

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1079.795 - 1100.111 Unknown

Well, don't say what I should say. How does it feel? Someone we know sent us an article about you in Grazia about how you've become this and how all the women are... Yeah, as soon as I read that, I was like, let's hope this doesn't get to David. Who said it?

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1100.612 - 1101.413 Joe

I'm not telling you.

1101.713 - 1116.717 Unknown

Rob Beckett. No. Tash. I'm not to know. No, we are. No, I'm not throwing him or her under the bus. But I just want to say thank you so much for sending in the article.

1116.737 - 1120.703 Joe

And if you get any others, please pass them on to my agent.

1120.885 - 1131.841 Unknown

Was it text or was it Instagram? Not telling. Just say who sent it. Who sent it? I'm not going to say any more unless you tell me who sent it.

1134.005 - 1134.205

All right.

Chapter 5: What insights does Joe share about his interactions with Keira Knightley?

1453.918 - 1474.33 David

Like, I don't know, a bit like Rihanna or someone. Sean looks at me years ago, he said, there's a point where... you get famous or you get recognized so much that you have to be rich enough to could never be in public. He said that, that Christ almighty.

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1475.071 - 1490.451 Unknown

Yeah. Well, you know what he means where you go, you gotta be rich enough. I know it's so lonely. I know what I mean. I'm not saying you you're no, I remember when you were in the hotel, I said, you're going on the biggest show. Have you thought about the, no, I hadn't. No, no.

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1490.971 - 1514.008 Unknown

mean no or purchase factory a poison frog have you thought about you might throw up you want to play computer games well you will now you'll have to shut the curtains lock the door and play computer games uh anyway so do you want to meet kira oh yes do you want to meet kira so uh i went yeah sure

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1515.187 - 1519.131 David

And I went, oh, blimey, this is now a bit real. Oh, God.

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1520.132 - 1534.208 Unknown

And I think I said, what's she like? And the person said, oh, she's really nice. And then I said something like, well, you never know. Because I was like, I said to her, where are you going? She's probably about 40, I think.

1534.308 - 1542.257 David

And she's probably been in, like, superstardom for, like, 20 years. So that could make you mad.

1542.49 - 1570.641 David

was my my thing that was in my head i was like oh she i suddenly went she might be mad or she might be not mad but like completely on a different wavelength and i went in and went in where into her trailer into her trailer and there were people did you knock no or did someone knock for you and open the door someone knocked in head of me not also

1571.144 - 1596.674 Unknown

Not for me. This is you. Here we go. No, I just want to picture the scene like someone goes, I'll just knock for... No, wait, wait. This is what you're doing. Let's paint Joe as a... Didn't mean it like that. Sorry, I get it. You're hypersensitive around this. I get it. Didn't mean it. But what you're doing is let's make Joe look as poncy as possible.

1596.694 - 1624.416 Unknown

No, what I mean is I thought, does someone need to knock... Wait there, Joe. Just need to make sure Kira's ready. They were just walking with me and they... Who's they? The chef? The chef? Well, who's they? Producer? It's a good chunk of people. I don't know who they are. This is another world to us. Oh, the simple man over there. The simple podcaster.

Chapter 6: How does Joe compare his experiences with other famous actors?

1773.321 - 1776.307 Joe

Fucking money. I would do that with my eyes closed.

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1778.03 - 1807.127 Unknown

And I got to play. So knock on the door. Knock, knock, knock. Hello? Come in. Are you doing it now? Joe Wilkinson's here to... Go on, what happened next? Well, I was listening to hear what would happen next, because you seem to be leading the charge. This is the bit I don't know. Well, you don't know any of that. What happened next? What happened is what you should be learning.

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1807.833 - 1816.968 David

I didn't knock on the door, so I would come in and there were people in, it's quite a long trailer. Yeah. They walked into the lounge and there were some people I didn't know.

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1817.028 - 1841.19 Unknown

Walked into the lounge? It's a ridiculous trailer. Mine are shit. You know, like the long ones have like a little lounge bit. A little lounge. A bit at the back. A little toilet for wee-wees. And poos. And then the back, I guess, is where the bedroom would be, but that's a make-up thing, isn't it? Oh, thank heavens, yeah. So where's Keira?

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1841.551 - 1849.564 Unknown

She's having her make-up done, her hair done, and she's sat down. And then she goes, oh, hi, how are you?

1849.584 - 1856.094 Joe

Right, okay, stop, bang. What are you doing? Oh, hi. She looks at you.

1856.114 - 1882.699 Unknown

Oh, hi, how are you? Like, I'm meeting Jo Wilkinson. She knows who you are. She's seen you on TV. Oh, hi, how are you? What are you doing? I might as well head off. What are you doing? You're not letting go of these fucking reins, are you? No, I'm not. Do you know what? Watching you then, I was like, you're getting carried away. I am. You went, hi. This is damn good podcasting.

1883 - 1895.552 Joe

We've got someone who's having a Midas fucking month. And I'm at the heart of it, tickling his fucking belly. So what did you go? Fucking hell. Or just a girl, just a girl in a chair.

1895.903 - 1923.582 Unknown

For an interview, the interviewer, I haven't said a lot, have I? Over to you. Did you go, fucking hell, did you go, oh, did you go, I'll bet you went, no, you, you did this. What did you do? I can't believe I'm trying to remember what I did then. I think it was a basic, how are you, probably a quip.

Chapter 7: What does Joe reveal about the challenges of celebrity life?

2037.18 - 2049.673 Unknown

Short. I think it was like, I definitely did, I'll leave you to it because I feel like I was going to, I think it had gone well. First interaction had gone well and I thought.

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2050.614 - 2051.595 Joe

Why? What happened?

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2051.727 - 2056.172 Unknown

No, but I was like, quip while you're ahead.

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2059.737 - 2060.618 Joe

Quip while you're ahead.

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2061.799 - 2068.888 Unknown

But you know what I mean? I did a calf quip. That eased the situation even more. Did she quip with you?

2068.908 - 2073.313 David

I don't think she quipped. I think she was just not very nice.

2074.07 - 2100.598 Unknown

And then I thought, leave. Can you give us some little bits of insight on what you spoke about in that first meeting? I remember thinking this is a normal conversation, but essentially she knows. She probably knows it's odd meeting her. Do you think so? Well... You know, have you heard the Simon Pegg thing about Tom Cruise? Yeah.

2101.239 - 2128.594 Unknown

Where he says Tom Cruise knows that he weirds people out, so he's got like a thing. Have you got a thing? Even that, my brain goes... Listen, you are now, people are talking about royalty, celebrity royalty or national treasure. Have you got a thing? Do you have a go-to? I can't have this conversation without thinking about how your wording is.

2128.634 - 2130.317 David

You've got to understand that.

Chapter 8: What are Joe's thoughts on future projects and opportunities?

2441.687 - 2446.354 David

Which was kind of nice, because I thought she might be. Nice?

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2449.539 - 2452.123 Joe

Nice? In what way was it nice?

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2454.847 - 2456.249 Unknown

Nice that she said that.

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2456.35 - 2470.505 Joe

Nice connection. Dipping toes. Dipping toes towards one another. Jesus Christ. No, okay. So it's basically, I think it's weird. You think it's weird. Yeah.

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2470.525 - 2487.569 Unknown

We think it's weird. Don't get any other ideas. Yeah, there's lots of that. There's lots of talking about your other halves. Is there really? Yeah, like... Oh, that's... Yeah, I bet there is. Fuck. The last time we did one, we were laughing because... Who?

2488.19 - 2488.27

Who?

2488.402 - 2516.774 Unknown

least this girl lethal sex education if we were lost is that when you had your bum out and you i didn't actually have my bum out cute it's honestly it's for me it's the highlight two zero two five Okay, so you basically, this isn't weird. No, sorry, this is weird. You talk about your partner.

2516.794 - 2518.095 David

Yeah, you talk about your partner.

2518.135 - 2531.291 Unknown

Don't get any other ideas. Yeah, yeah. I love my other arm. Yeah. Which is, you know, so everyone knows where they stand, which is totally unnecessary, but everyone does it, I'm sure.

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