Chapter 1: How does Joe feel at the start of the episode?
How are you? I'm all right. I'm feeling rough still. I've been wanging on about your three days getting ill, three days plateauing, and I should be on the downward bit, Petra. Well, my sister always says that, so I... Yeah, it could be bollocks.
It's about right. Yeah. Oh, no. I think I've lost my spark. No, I'm gaining my spark.
I think I've lost my thick mucus sound. Oh. I've still got my thick mucus. Definitely. Have you got the shivers? No, I just ache and I've got sore throat and stuffed up nose. Oh, no.
Yeah, they're not as pretty as they usually look. Maybe you've got like an extra infection or something.
Yeah.
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Chapter 2: What topics do David's pinboard ideas cover?
sounds medical doesn't it got an extra infection if your doctor said that to you you might have an extra infection I'm not a doctor I'm just thinking I know but it might have yeah I don't think an extra infection is a thing anyway it gives a shit there you go actually I was bringing up mucus last night onto my tongue Jim that just made me think of a red carpet
You know, like, people stood like that at their very best. You know, this is what I project. You're phlegming up. That's what's real. There's a guy in Devon phlegming up. Everything's about being real now, isn't it, on the internet? Real. That's always been about being real, isn't it? Stuff. Is it? Oh, yeah. Isn't it? I don't know. Fucking hell. Do you know what? I have no opinion.
Well, I haven't. I just said it. Isn't it? Isn't the internet about being real? Well, isn't it? It's about being honest, being authentic, being truthful. Where have you garnered that? I don't know.
It just is, isn't it?
No, but give me an example of you said you've seen something and gone, oh, right. I don't know. Mental health and relating to one another and I don't know. Is that true?
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Chapter 3: What is the significance of immediate rapport in conversations?
God, I listened to it back and I was effing and jeffing again and I was embarrassed. I was counting. I said, there's six. There's six effies. God, yeah, I'm terrible. But it's a habit we've got into. It's very relaxed about the swearing in front of each other. Yeah, I do it a lot with Naomi as well. I don't with Petra. God, I don't.
I just think... Do you want to have a fucking look at a fucking right move? Sorry? Yeah. I'd say, Petra, do you want to have a look at a right move with me?
LAUGHTER
can't imagine you putting two f's in there well one definitely one anyway finding off finding the funny yeah god i'm out already sorry what are we talking about Today? Today's topic is... I like the idea of we've got like a backup list of things. Because that's what Radio 1 would have, isn't it? When we get, I don't know,
s club seven we're gonna have things we'll probably only ever say these three things we only chat about these things things but we'll have another nine to ten backups yeah yeah so you fit you don't feel very well do you know what the one thing i realized i'm when you're ill you really i'm really melancholic when i'm ill Great, great. I looked at my cap this morning, this cap I put on.
At the moment, the Olympics, Winter Olympics is like, and I was like, at the moment, this is fresh and this is relevant. Look, it's clean. But over the next couple of years, it'll be 2028, and this will be a dark and muddy grey, and it will be irrelevant.
Bloody hell, I'm so sorry, everyone.
No, let me finish. Let me finish. I said I precursored it with I'm melancholic when I'm poorly. And that was what was going on. I was like, at the moment, look how fresh it is. I'm in the middle of the Olympics. What are you like when you're not poorly? Well, not like that. No. But I was like, and I started going, will it be three months before we've kind of gone? Oh, yeah.
Anyway, that was going on in my head. And you apologized, but I don't think it needed apologizing. Do you want me to take a card off the, see if there's anything on the back? Or do you want to engage in what I just said? You already had that thought. Whatever I said, you were going to go, do you want me to take a card off there? Fucking terrible.
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Chapter 4: How do Joe and David feel about their past jobs?
But I was explaining something and you were poised like this. What about your hat? No, I was explaining it and you were poised like this. Whatever I said, you were going to go, do you want me to do it? Well, you're like that. There's loads of videos of you doing your emails when I'm talking. Well, it's just terrible. Like that. Poised. I'm producing. No, you weren't. You weren't listening.
That's different. Go on then. Take a fucking... No, take a card. Take a card.
Any card.
I do like the card thing. Yeah, I sort of do. But I'm left green. Oh, now I've got to take... I can't be bothered. Just read it. Don't take it off. Just read it.
Oh, this is good. As long as you don't tell your falling in love in Ibiza one. What? What? No, I could tell you. I've told you my Skagged one. I've told you everything at the beach.
I should have loads. Yeah, I know. I live by the beach. God, that's mad. Do you know what? Only two days ago, again, because I'm not feeling very well.
was walking along back home and i went i like where i live i've got the sea there i'm very very lucky i am lucky and i got home and i said to betcha i think it went like this i was just walking past the tennis courts there's lots of people playing and then i and i said i felt like um I felt very lucky, and she replied, have you read the email I sent you?
Well, did it take you out of your lucky zone?
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Chapter 5: What are their thoughts on being likable?
Yeah, it did a bit. Did it? Because I thought we'd have a, she'd sort of, I don't know, we'd take each other's hands and go, we are lucky. Right, right. She went, I'm in the middle of stuff. Okay, next card. No, we can do more on beach. No, rattle, rattle, rattle, actually. I like rattle. Put them back, though, because you'll be left with a load of cards in the wrong place.
Oh, I couldn't give a shit. Sorry for being considerate to you.
Go on.
Yellow, second along. You've dropped one as well. This is good. You and Petra were the man. It doesn't say that on the card.
No, I've sort of made it a little bit more interesting.
It just says map. Well, I've put bird takes map. Yeah, I've got nothing on bird takes map. Well, map. Map. Yeah, I know. I was just being... Yeah, yeah, right, right. Don't get cross, because I... I'm not cross. I'm so not cross, actually.
I'm coming out of my cold.
Map. I sometimes, if I hear something on television, And it's a town. I'll put the town in my Google Maps and I'll see how many miles it is from my house.
I'm sort of more interested in when you're travelling in the car with Petra and there's a map and you've got to get somewhere.
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Chapter 6: How do Joe and David perceive their interactions with others?
Next time. So shit. Lou Sanders listens to the pod. Does she? Yeah, I know. I was surprised as well. Not regularly. No, I don't think regularly, no.
I mean, I would say I listen to, I don't know, The Rest is Crime. I've listened to 10 minutes, but I would say to the presenters, I listen to The Rest is Crime or whatever it is.
Is there one called The Rest is Crime? I was like, have I missed The Rest is Crime? Pink far right. Pink far right. Oh, no.
There's two or three here we can use. Okay, cool. Moving on. Throwing away and gun.
Moving on. Have you fired a gun? Yeah. In Pease Pottage.
In a field.
For people who don't know Pease Pottage, two interesting things about Pease Pottage.
Your dad always mentions it when you drive by, something like that. Am I right?
Yeah. And the second one, there's a service station there.
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Chapter 7: What game do they come up with during the episode?
There is, but there's a village over the way. Yeah, I know, I know. And then you're down into Hank Cross, Staplefield. Oh, Hank Cross. Yeah, Hank Cross, yeah. I worked at, I had a garden at Ernie. There we go. It'll be, go on. They had a long, I remember they had a really long lawn. I remember thinking they had a little bit of cash.
A little bit of cash, a long lawn and a bifter about, I always had a place that had a bifter about 40, 40 metres down the road. A lovely little bifter corner near there.
Can I tell you what they did have? What? It was a lady. a middle-aged lady, and she had a daughter in her early to mid-twenties and a boyfriend.
The woman had a boyfriend or the child? No, it wasn't a child, but it was a grown child. Yeah, her child, her daughter, sorry. They had a bit of money and a nicely landscaped patio area. Okay, I mean, I want to know about this woman I've never met.
and let me tell you about the gay couple i used to work for digitally okay what happened to that story i felt inferior yeah you were but they were young how old were they what the young couple yeah young attractive and they just had fucking money
Yeah. Similar age to you? No, 10 years younger. And so they'd be on the patio maybe drinking.
Were you a bit of physio? Were you a bit invisible to them? Invisio? I was a little bit of physio. Sorry, invisible. Were you a bit invisible to them?
Yeah, I never felt like I got enough.
God, all those jobs you have where you're invisible. put on a pair of pizza express checkered trousers and striped top and you become invisible trust me even when you're cleaning the ground between the tiles with a toothbrush as people are eating yeah sorry carry on No, nothing. No, no, I'm so in. You go, you're 32, they're 24. Oh, am I 32? I reckon I'm 34.
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Chapter 8: What are the plans for the next episode?
You're 34, they're 24. They're drinking tea on the patio. I felt like they had their next decade sorted out. They're in a big house. Mummy's doing fine. Yeah, but they're not fine. Mummy's fine. They're not fine. But from the outside, you're an attractive young couple. I'm trying to get Wednesday afternoons off. Yeah, that always does one. Yeah. I find that in Brighton.
I go, especially when the sun comes out, what is everyone doing? I think I just realised what my issue was. I wasn't skilled at what I did. If I was like Alan Titchmarsh. And this could go anywhere, basically. I could become the best gardener in the world.
Yeah, but also, I'm too busy for you. I'm sorting this out, actually, as it goes. I'm sorting out this.
Whereas I'm like, what am I doing?
I'm lifting up that fucking thistle.
And you don't know why you're lifting it up. Well, I do, because it encroaches on the lawn. So you do. But weirdly, when I sometimes jokingly say you know naff all about gardening, you get quite snippy. Yeah, I know. So it wasn't because you knew a lot about gardening. It was an Achilles heel. I'd say I'm a bit snippy, actually.
Not anymore. I'd say I feel like I've failed. And I feel sad more than snippy.
And it came out in snippiness, right? I'd go, well, you didn't really know. I remember it quite clearly. You went, I said something like, well, you obviously didn't know what you were doing. No, I knew exactly what I was doing with that lawn. Oh, I didn't. Well, not word for word. I don't like this not word for word business. It's not a court of pissing law, is it? I'm swearing. Don't.
That's a good insight though. That's really true. Like you're going, I wasn't skilled. So I might as well just been a massive, like a massive slug on the garden.
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