Chapter 1: What challenges does Joe face with his Cokey Z relapse?
So you're still having Cokie Z then?
Yeah, I am, yeah. God, I think I'm fucking new when I drink it as well. Good. I'm fucking glad you do. You like this, sat back in your chair. Yeah, fucking right. Fucking... You know what you're saying?
Fucking prat drinking Cokie Z every day.
And I feel like a prat! I want to like coffee! I want to drink what adults drink. I genuinely feel like a prat. Yeah, I imagine you do. I went to the... I went to the co-op the other day and I bought some stuff. And there was a... Oh, I don't know. A Cokey Z was one of them. And there was a lady who... I don't know, similar age, quite smartly dressed.
She was walking around the car, but we just sort of smiled at each other a couple of times, you know? You know, like that. Anyway, I was next to her at the paint thing, And so I was moving my stuff to where she was, but she was a bit ahead of me. And I kept the Coke and Z to the end. I was putting out the things for avocados. She'll think that's normal. Oh, for God's sake.
Well, I'm just telling you. Oh, dear, dear, dear. Well, I was like going, I've put all the good stuff out. Yeah. And then, plunk. As you've gone by the time the... Do you ever buy a big bottle or just little mini... No, can't face it. No, no. Can't face it.
Would you like to have a big one in the house?
Do you know what I feel like? Have you ever been in the town and there's someone who's sat there and they've got a big bottle of Vimto.
It's flat. It's half flat.
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Chapter 2: Which foods and drinks are considered healthy according to the hosts?
Now and then. Disgusting. It was weekends only. Look at you. It was weekends only.
For about a month and a half it was. Leaning in. Fucking bollocks.
Oh, no, because you stopped.
Don't do, oh, no. Well, no, good for you. One vice.
One vice. What it is? It's your little lean-on, isn't it? It's my one vice, Petra.
Yeah, it's my playing. I'm just playing.
It's my one fucking vice. She doesn't say anything. She'd rather you didn't. So you go for your little trip once a week. Just buy a fucking pack. Get on with it.
No, I can't face it. I know it's dirty and I want to stop.
Is it always coaxing as well? Yeah, it's always coaxing. Why, weirdo? I like it.
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Chapter 3: What new podcast format idea does Joe suggest?
I thought you knew all the scales. Please. No, no.
Why don't you be part of the lose two stone? What, cut out Coke 6? Well, I don't know. Do you like a little add-on for patrons? All right.
How many Coke 6s have you had this month? Fuck. I feel like mine's an easier journey. Do you like the taste? No. do you like it so much do you like the taste what the fuck reason do you think I drink it you moron I like the taste so much do you like the taste what the fucking hell do you think I fucking love it I do love it fucking it's embarrassing God, it's so bad for you. Is it?
Is it bad for you? The cuts are good for you, isn't it?
Wow.
When Ronaldo moves it off the table when he sits down.
Oh, you noticed that?
Don't adjust. Coke Zero is the seventh best-selling soda in the United States of America. Do you ever go for Coke Zero cherry? Yes.
I've tried it. How about Coke Zero vanilla? Didn't like it. Oh, right. Lemon? Yeah, that's all right. I bet you haven't tried peach.
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Chapter 4: Why does ChatGPT refuse to provide a thousand name suggestions?
Allow yourself to be vulnerable. For once, allow yourself to be vulnerable. What the cock in hell does that mean? Open up about your liking. Go zero.
Yeah. Just say I've got a real problem and I can't let go of it. Make stuff up.
Well, stop then. I don't want to. I like drinking it. I have so little fucking vices. I don't know. Do you have... What do you have that you go, I could cut that? Like, bickies or whatever? Cereal.
Sugary cereal? No.
No. I knew your vice would be not vice-like. Well, it's not great, is it? Just tons of fucking... I have too much fucking bulgari. Oh, piss off.
That's what that sounded like. No, that's my thing. I have a bowl of cereal and I really shouldn't be eating all that. What's the cereal? Porridge. Porridge isn't bad for you, is it? Yeah, but if you're having it fucking half-twelve at night... I don't know if half-twelve is ramping up for the poll, but the point is this.
Yeah, what's this point? Porridge isn't bad. It's like saying... I don't know.
I put nuts on it and fucking guava syrup. Goji berries.
Fuck off. Just to say everything that's sort of deep down isn't that bad for you.
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Chapter 5: What humorous anecdotes are shared about drinking habits?
Caffeine is how many cups? Four, eight ounce cups. I don't know what that means. Oh, it's 400 milligrams, five to six shots. Okay, so I have four shots a day. So I'm under the daily, yeah.
Wow. I thought it was bouncy. Apologies.
Not at all. Not at all. How much caffeine in Cokie Z? Back round to you again. I've actually put Cokie Z in.
I don't understand that. Cokie Rose. Cokie. Did it not listen to the pot?
I don't know where I can arrange from. I don't know where I can arrange from. How much caffeine? It's quite interesting. Coke zero. I don't know. I can't find it. I don't understand. There we go. That's what you got on the new podcast on Patreon. Someone said, oh, you can have a guest on, like Joe Wicks. I was like, it's never going to happen. Yeah, but they're right. You can. Yeah, you could.
And I did think it would be nice to get... There is someone on Patreon called Daniel. Daniel Smythe. He's a very nice man. I've met him once. But I think he works within that line. He said, I'm happy to come on if you ever need.
Daniel Smythe is very happy to come on.
Yeah.
And who's he?
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts discuss their personal vices and habits?
I like about it, it's got like a paragraph reviewing our little systems. He must fucking hate it. Is this his favourite podcast? I mean, I'm with him. I'll be honest. I wasn't going, how can our little systems get up people's nose? I'll see why it can't get up your nose. Yeah, it's crap. Yeah, but so what?
Who cares? Oh, everything you do, Baz, is brilliant.
I'm not going to stop. I quite like it. I quite like it. That's the reason. Yeah, it's lovely. I like that it's women heavy for once.
Women have a go instead of the men like Baz.
I like the idea of people kind of go, oh, it's our little system. Fuck.
Yeah, but some will go, ooh.
Is it good to divide your audience?
Well, have a day off and let other people enjoy things. Fucking hell. I think, honestly, Baz, I'm with you. I think it's a bit shit, to be honest. But it also warms my goggles and my heart. What's your new section?
Well, now seems not the time. Go on. Well, no, because I feel like I'm on Radio 2 coming up with a section now. Do you think it's better than... No, it's rubbish. Go on. Well... The other night, Petra reminded me of something. Well, the idea is... Oh, I can't be bothered, actually. Right, let's go. Go on. No. No.
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Chapter 7: What insights do they share about caffeine and its effects?
Things you know now that you didn't know before. Well, apparently everyone knows you're not meant to take the plants around to... Yeah.
that's mad well now it's then back to i was embarrassed when petra told me this reminded me last night yeah i think i like it things you didn't know that you now know now yeah that yeah i quite like it yeah i thought because it might spark yeah stuff that people be very specific weren't they yeah like i didn't know what's mine Well, the painting the tools thing I didn't think of.
You said... Yeah, it's not quite... What did they ask you again?
They said... I don't know the exact words. But you meant to put a dollop of paint on so they know... Yeah, he didn't say put a dollop on. Honestly, everyone's heard it before us. Bollocks.
basically there's a bit of paint in the garage just can you i don't know how he worded it paint my tools so i know yeah my tools yeah it's basically that he thought probably do a little band around each did you paint the whole handle and the bit of metal not the metal just the handle and i was talking to my sister about it in fact he chatted to my sister about it recently and said you remember when david did
But there were two pots of paint in the garage, like pink and white. And I fucking chose the pink one. It's such a weird thing to do. I remember going, oh, I don't know.
It's lack of common sense. That's what we're after.
Well, whatever that is.
That.
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Chapter 8: What new section do they introduce and what is its focus?
I thought something different. Oh, I don't know. Fuck, I hate asking this fucking thing. It makes you lazy. Just like fucking... Oh, anyway.
Okay, when in actual fact, you didn't. Example... Sarah and Tim are watering our plants.
While we're away.
And I take the plants to them instead of... Giving them a house key to let them in. Just giving... Fuck me, you'd fast forward this bit, wouldn't you? A house key...
Here we go. Let's see. Just had a message from Neil Forsyth, which always makes me laugh. Lou's top two stone is top draw. That was from Neil Forsyth.
So, hi again.
That's a very good podcast section.
It's basically about false competence or misjudged common sense. Those tiny moments when you realise you've been acting like something is normal when it absolutely isn't. The laugh you're going to get is, in my head, this made total sense.
You could frame the section as something like... God, it sounds rank when you give it to AI. Fucking hell.
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