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Chatabix

S15 Ep 809: Live Tours, Cokey Z and Only Me - Part 2

02 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What challenges does Joe face with his Cokey Z relapse?

37.983 - 39.525 Joe

So you're still having Cokie Z then?

0

40.426 - 55.683 Unknown

Yeah, I am, yeah. God, I think I'm fucking new when I drink it as well. Good. I'm fucking glad you do. You like this, sat back in your chair. Yeah, fucking right. Fucking... You know what you're saying?

0

55.703 - 58.446 Joe

Fucking prat drinking Cokie Z every day.

0

58.647 - 96.101 Unknown

And I feel like a prat! I want to like coffee! I want to drink what adults drink. I genuinely feel like a prat. Yeah, I imagine you do. I went to the... I went to the co-op the other day and I bought some stuff. And there was a... Oh, I don't know. A Cokey Z was one of them. And there was a lady who... I don't know, similar age, quite smartly dressed.

0

97.245 - 123.912 Unknown

She was walking around the car, but we just sort of smiled at each other a couple of times, you know? You know, like that. Anyway, I was next to her at the paint thing, And so I was moving my stuff to where she was, but she was a bit ahead of me. And I kept the Coke and Z to the end. I was putting out the things for avocados. She'll think that's normal. Oh, for God's sake.

124.753 - 148.095 Unknown

Well, I'm just telling you. Oh, dear, dear, dear. Well, I was like going, I've put all the good stuff out. Yeah. And then, plunk. As you've gone by the time the... Do you ever buy a big bottle or just little mini... No, can't face it. No, no. Can't face it.

148.075 - 150.999 Joe

Would you like to have a big one in the house?

151.019 - 158.13 Unknown

Do you know what I feel like? Have you ever been in the town and there's someone who's sat there and they've got a big bottle of Vimto.

158.15 - 159.592 Joe

It's flat. It's half flat.

Chapter 2: Which foods and drinks are considered healthy according to the hosts?

228.234 - 235.281 Joe

Now and then. Disgusting. It was weekends only. Look at you. It was weekends only.

0

235.301 - 241.228 Unknown

For about a month and a half it was. Leaning in. Fucking bollocks.

0

241.529 - 244.152 Joe

Oh, no, because you stopped.

0

244.172 - 248.378 Unknown

Don't do, oh, no. Well, no, good for you. One vice.

0

249.459 - 257.529 Joe

One vice. What it is? It's your little lean-on, isn't it? It's my one vice, Petra.

257.549 - 260.113 Unknown

Yeah, it's my playing. I'm just playing.

260.413 - 277.376 Joe

It's my one fucking vice. She doesn't say anything. She'd rather you didn't. So you go for your little trip once a week. Just buy a fucking pack. Get on with it.

277.556 - 287.773 Unknown

No, I can't face it. I know it's dirty and I want to stop.

288.094 - 294.925 Joe

Is it always coaxing as well? Yeah, it's always coaxing. Why, weirdo? I like it.

Chapter 3: What new podcast format idea does Joe suggest?

408.136 - 413.081 Unknown

I thought you knew all the scales. Please. No, no.

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413.882 - 427.174 Joe

Why don't you be part of the lose two stone? What, cut out Coke 6? Well, I don't know. Do you like a little add-on for patrons? All right.

0

427.194 - 464.307 Unknown

How many Coke 6s have you had this month? Fuck. I feel like mine's an easier journey. Do you like the taste? No. do you like it so much do you like the taste what the fuck reason do you think I drink it you moron I like the taste so much do you like the taste what the fucking hell do you think I fucking love it I do love it fucking it's embarrassing God, it's so bad for you. Is it?

0

464.327 - 467.596 Unknown

Is it bad for you? The cuts are good for you, isn't it?

0

468.399 - 468.82

Wow.

468.98 - 472.189 Unknown

When Ronaldo moves it off the table when he sits down.

472.369 - 473.873 Joe

Oh, you noticed that?

474.636 - 489.707 Unknown

Don't adjust. Coke Zero is the seventh best-selling soda in the United States of America. Do you ever go for Coke Zero cherry? Yes.

490.829 - 504.648 Joe

I've tried it. How about Coke Zero vanilla? Didn't like it. Oh, right. Lemon? Yeah, that's all right. I bet you haven't tried peach.

Chapter 4: Why does ChatGPT refuse to provide a thousand name suggestions?

624.878 - 637.141 Unknown

Allow yourself to be vulnerable. For once, allow yourself to be vulnerable. What the cock in hell does that mean? Open up about your liking. Go zero.

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637.802 - 646.819 Joe

Yeah. Just say I've got a real problem and I can't let go of it. Make stuff up.

0

647.288 - 670.335 Unknown

Well, stop then. I don't want to. I like drinking it. I have so little fucking vices. I don't know. Do you have... What do you have that you go, I could cut that? Like, bickies or whatever? Cereal.

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671.916 - 673.558 Joe

Sugary cereal? No.

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674.94 - 687.945 Unknown

No. I knew your vice would be not vice-like. Well, it's not great, is it? Just tons of fucking... I have too much fucking bulgari. Oh, piss off.

689.146 - 708.607 Joe

That's what that sounded like. No, that's my thing. I have a bowl of cereal and I really shouldn't be eating all that. What's the cereal? Porridge. Porridge isn't bad for you, is it? Yeah, but if you're having it fucking half-twelve at night... I don't know if half-twelve is ramping up for the poll, but the point is this.

708.627 - 714.093 Unknown

Yeah, what's this point? Porridge isn't bad. It's like saying... I don't know.

714.153 - 721.221 Joe

I put nuts on it and fucking guava syrup. Goji berries.

723.203 - 731.664 Unknown

Fuck off. Just to say everything that's sort of deep down isn't that bad for you.

Chapter 5: What humorous anecdotes are shared about drinking habits?

873.246 - 891.726 Joe

Caffeine is how many cups? Four, eight ounce cups. I don't know what that means. Oh, it's 400 milligrams, five to six shots. Okay, so I have four shots a day. So I'm under the daily, yeah.

0

892.229 - 895.453 Unknown

Wow. I thought it was bouncy. Apologies.

0

895.473 - 907.349 Joe

Not at all. Not at all. How much caffeine in Cokie Z? Back round to you again. I've actually put Cokie Z in.

0

907.589 - 913.838 Unknown

I don't understand that. Cokie Rose. Cokie. Did it not listen to the pot?

0

913.858 - 948.576 Joe

I don't know where I can arrange from. I don't know where I can arrange from. How much caffeine? It's quite interesting. Coke zero. I don't know. I can't find it. I don't understand. There we go. That's what you got on the new podcast on Patreon. Someone said, oh, you can have a guest on, like Joe Wicks. I was like, it's never going to happen. Yeah, but they're right. You can. Yeah, you could.

948.656 - 960.188 Joe

And I did think it would be nice to get... There is someone on Patreon called Daniel. Daniel Smythe. He's a very nice man. I've met him once. But I think he works within that line. He said, I'm happy to come on if you ever need.

960.288 - 962.651 Unknown

Daniel Smythe is very happy to come on.

962.671 - 962.991 Joe

Yeah.

963.572 - 963.972 Unknown

And who's he?

Chapter 6: How do the hosts discuss their personal vices and habits?

1120.852 - 1143.553 Unknown

I like about it, it's got like a paragraph reviewing our little systems. He must fucking hate it. Is this his favourite podcast? I mean, I'm with him. I'll be honest. I wasn't going, how can our little systems get up people's nose? I'll see why it can't get up your nose. Yeah, it's crap. Yeah, but so what?

0

1145.217 - 1150.048 Joe

Who cares? Oh, everything you do, Baz, is brilliant.

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1150.973 - 1158.482 Unknown

I'm not going to stop. I quite like it. I quite like it. That's the reason. Yeah, it's lovely. I like that it's women heavy for once.

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1158.502 - 1161.445 Joe

Women have a go instead of the men like Baz.

0

1163.067 - 1168.013 Unknown

I like the idea of people kind of go, oh, it's our little system. Fuck.

1168.734 - 1170.316 Joe

Yeah, but some will go, ooh.

1172.819 - 1174.821 Unknown

Is it good to divide your audience?

1175.932 - 1191.731 Joe

Well, have a day off and let other people enjoy things. Fucking hell. I think, honestly, Baz, I'm with you. I think it's a bit shit, to be honest. But it also warms my goggles and my heart. What's your new section?

1192.612 - 1217.777 Unknown

Well, now seems not the time. Go on. Well, no, because I feel like I'm on Radio 2 coming up with a section now. Do you think it's better than... No, it's rubbish. Go on. Well... The other night, Petra reminded me of something. Well, the idea is... Oh, I can't be bothered, actually. Right, let's go. Go on. No. No.

Chapter 7: What insights do they share about caffeine and its effects?

1329.477 - 1337.833 Unknown

Things you know now that you didn't know before. Well, apparently everyone knows you're not meant to take the plants around to... Yeah.

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1338.843 - 1366.655 Unknown

that's mad well now it's then back to i was embarrassed when petra told me this reminded me last night yeah i think i like it things you didn't know that you now know now yeah that yeah i quite like it yeah i thought because it might spark yeah stuff that people be very specific weren't they yeah like i didn't know what's mine Well, the painting the tools thing I didn't think of.

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1366.675 - 1370.5 Unknown

You said... Yeah, it's not quite... What did they ask you again?

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1370.54 - 1382.738 Joe

They said... I don't know the exact words. But you meant to put a dollop of paint on so they know... Yeah, he didn't say put a dollop on. Honestly, everyone's heard it before us. Bollocks.

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1383.342 - 1408.422 Joe

basically there's a bit of paint in the garage just can you i don't know how he worded it paint my tools so i know yeah my tools yeah it's basically that he thought probably do a little band around each did you paint the whole handle and the bit of metal not the metal just the handle and i was talking to my sister about it in fact he chatted to my sister about it recently and said you remember when david did

1409.6 - 1419.555 Joe

But there were two pots of paint in the garage, like pink and white. And I fucking chose the pink one. It's such a weird thing to do. I remember going, oh, I don't know.

1420.316 - 1422.74 Unknown

It's lack of common sense. That's what we're after.

1423.361 - 1424.843 Joe

Well, whatever that is.

1426.385 - 1426.626 Unknown

That.

Chapter 8: What new section do they introduce and what is its focus?

1679.829 - 1691.233 Unknown

I thought something different. Oh, I don't know. Fuck, I hate asking this fucking thing. It makes you lazy. Just like fucking... Oh, anyway.

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1691.253 - 1702.056 Joe

Okay, when in actual fact, you didn't. Example... Sarah and Tim are watering our plants.

0

1702.456 - 1703.898 Unknown

While we're away.

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1708.604 - 1723.461 Joe

And I take the plants to them instead of... Giving them a house key to let them in. Just giving... Fuck me, you'd fast forward this bit, wouldn't you? A house key...

0

1723.441 - 1745.432 Unknown

Here we go. Let's see. Just had a message from Neil Forsyth, which always makes me laugh. Lou's top two stone is top draw. That was from Neil Forsyth.

1746.172 - 1747.214 Joe

So, hi again.

1749.017 - 1753.544 Unknown

That's a very good podcast section.

1754.285 - 1773.933 Joe

It's basically about false competence or misjudged common sense. Those tiny moments when you realise you've been acting like something is normal when it absolutely isn't. The laugh you're going to get is, in my head, this made total sense.

1774.774 - 1779.421 Unknown

You could frame the section as something like... God, it sounds rank when you give it to AI. Fucking hell.

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