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Chatabix

S15 Ep 839: Patreons In The Den - Part 1

14 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What new section idea does Joe's brother propose?

37.493 - 64.476 Joe

Morning. Morning. How you doing? Good, how are you? Oh, yeah, got a bit of a headache. But, you know. Oh. What was that? Might be dehydration. Oh. Um, yeah, you all right, then? Yeah. Just felt quite sad. The family are out the house. I was like, oh, it's been quite a busy three days. I'm like, sat at the fucking desk again.

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66.658 - 66.758 Unknown

Hi.

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70.012 - 76.766 Joe

Just don't want to work. That's one of your second son. Fucking work.

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Chapter 2: How do the Chatabix Patreons react to the Zoom pitching session?

77.487 - 91.716 Joe

I know, it's weird, isn't it? Did I tell you about the guy on Instagram that I saw last week? I don't know if he's like a comedian, but

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93.097 - 117.526 Joe

like it wasn't very insightful but he did this whole bit three minute where he went I think I told you this last week but he just said why doesn't anyone tell you when you hit your 40s you can't be fucked to work anymore and you don't care about you yeah yeah fucking hell god you really do don't you There was a Mickey Flanagan.

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117.546 - 148.18 Joe

Do you remember Brighton used to do a festival, like a, not the Fringe Festival, like a Brighton Comedy Festival. And for a couple of years they televised the Gala. And Mickey Flanagan said about, like, he said, as soon as you come out Brighton Station, you say, your first thought is, you know what, I might go part time. And... Why is it a nice televised gala? No, because it's Brighton.

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149.577 - 159.653 Joe

As soon as you come out of the station in Brighton. He likes being in Brighton. Well, that's what everyone does in Brighton. Everyone wants to be part-time because it's by the sea. Oh, I see.

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159.673 - 161.095 Unknown

I didn't get it at the time.

161.576 - 170.17 Joe

No, I didn't. But it's true. When you live by the sea or in Devon, you go, I want to be part-time.

Chapter 3: What chaos ensues after the Zoom link is shared with everyone?

171.532 - 207.765 Joe

Really struggling today. Remember when we wrote Rovers, how driven we were? Yeah. Fucking hell, yeah. It was intense, wasn't it? 39 years old. Well, it's 39. Fucking, I should have known. Just on the cusp of about fucking eight, doing everything. I feel like... You know when you watch someone like... I don't know, I was watching a thing about a boxer building up to a fight. Like a big fight.

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208.005 - 209.651 Joe

I think it was Conor Benn, do you know him?

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210.213 - 210.433 Unknown

Yeah.

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211.508 - 239.42 Joe

Honestly, he was like, I'm doing, and he was saying, I'm doing four watts of things a day and I'm running for this and all that. And I was literally going, fuck that. Chill out. Well, don't chill out because you'll get your bed punched in half the time. I've got socks on.

Chapter 4: What are some funny anecdotes shared during the episode?

239.5 - 269.973 Joe

I wanted to put some socks on, I've got them on. My brother said to me, I went to the football with my brother on Saturday, and he said, did you tell David about my section idea? And I went, what's your section idea? I could tell he was a bit pissed off. What was it then? Have you told me? No, I didn't tell you. And I can't remember. I was going to text him. Is something wrong?

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269.993 - 304.189 Joe

Well, I thought it should live and die on him. I think he's going to text him. What was your section idea again? Is he quite good at getting back? Yeah. Okay. Well, that is at work. I don't know what I'd do without a podcast. Sorry, I'm still in my... I'd just be sat at this desk staring at the wall. I had a... I think, you know, I deleted that message on WhatsApp because I was in the car.

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Chapter 5: What is meant by 'Easter eggs in the workplace'?

305.317 - 329.074 Joe

driving back from um oh yeah you know you said something like oh that's disgusting or something like i said yeah yeah lord pick or something he's texting back here we go um oh here we go i think i messaged god i love potting or something because i was in the sunshine i was just driving and i was like i do too i do too i've just it's like i've just driven to Yeah, in the sun. Yeah.

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330.235 - 370.588 Joe

Staked out a fucking potential crim. Here we go. Three dotting. Three dotting. Right. Do you know my brother? He'll feel the pressure of this. He'll be like, shit, I'd always love the idea of getting this past you. Oh, really? He respects my... Oh, yeah. He talks about you a lot. Excellent. Thank you, Rob. Well, I like your golf trousers. That encourages him. What does he play off? No idea.

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Chapter 6: How do listeners contribute their ideas for new sections?

370.608 - 410.287 Joe

And he never asks. No, he tells me. He tells me stuff, but I can't always get right around it. What, a handicap? Are you telling me a lot about it? Here we go, new section. Easter eggs in the workplace. What does that mean? Well, like our pictures in the wall, on the wall at Cockfields, and I use old four-digit phone numbers on padlocks. Hang on a minute. That feels like just random words.

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410.628 - 435.372 Joe

I think he's hoping I expand, but right, I think... I think what he means is, like, right, I'll try and help you out here, Rob. I'll try and sell it. Right, he, like, I think he's thinking about, like, a bit more... This is Dragon's Den. We have some Dragon's Den music, please. Oh, it is Dragon's Den, the idea. No, I'm... Yeah, I'm... You're Bannatyre. Julie, whatever, Bannatyre.

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435.392 - 436.473 Joe

Yeah, Julie Bannatyre.

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Chapter 7: What unique section ideas do callers suggest?

436.493 - 469.219 Joe

You're Julie Bannatyre. I think what he's saying is, like, in life, do you have little Easter eggs that you go... No one knows that, but I use my nan's telephone number as my security lock at work. Or... I think he's sort of obsessed that... Yeah, I'm nearly in. I'm nearly in. So... I cannot think of another old girl. Right, he... His one is a bit... He's not as good, the Cottonfield one.

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469.259 - 492.635 Joe

He won't affect you as much. But you know, in Cottonfields, we had... There was old photos of Rob and me on the wall for kids. You know, like, so it was like... So he saw that as an Easter egg rather than that's just... You know, like, if you're ever home on set, don't do this. I'm trying. Forget that one. But, like... There'll be close-ups of Peter Jones currently. Oh, fuck.

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492.655 - 498.004 Joe

I'm going to have to text. More detail needed.

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500.071 - 505.904 Joe

Actually, if you have got an idea for a section, come on and do a Dragon's Den for us. Yes, that's good.

Chapter 8: How does the episode wrap up with listener interactions?

506.445 - 541.701 Joe

You've got a minute. Can you... I'm asking to explain it on voicemail. Can you explain it on a voice note? I'm not selling it very well. Like, Rob's bright. He won't just come to the table with a shit idea. But currently... No, like, I'm not elking out here. So... Right, yeah, so the lock one. Like, our Nan's old telephone number or something. That would be... Yeah, you keep doing the lock one.

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542.482 - 578.792 Joe

Well, I've got no others. Um... Oh, this would be a real moment on an episode. Sweat. Huh? I said, another example needed, I think. Oh, well, I can't think of three. What? So, I think it's like hidden things that no one knows. Every time I... Oh, fuck, I don't know. What, like life hacks? No, not life hacks.

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578.832 - 614.787 Joe

No, like sweet things where you go, I've named the thing at the school where I work after my auntie Doreen's dog. Or something. I don't know. Right, right. Yeah. Oh, I'm out. I can't explain it. I can't believe that's all. Bring him up. Bring him up. Can you chat? Oh, he's at work. Can you chat? You've got to get a section out of your brother. He's fucking running around working this morning.

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614.807 - 639.381 Joe

Well, he shouldn't have fucking come up with a section. In his defence, it was Saturday afternoon and we were kneeling down. He said he had his nose pointed out a joint. Well, it was Neil Neil against Shrewsbury. He told Dave... Oh, I've got that next year. Can't wait. Oh, yeah, he went down, didn't he? Fucking hell. He went... He told Dave about my section idea. Oh, no, I didn't.

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639.401 - 642.445 Joe

What was it again? It was like Easter eggs in the workplace.

643.567 - 647.913 David

Easter eggs in the workplace?

647.933 - 675.732 Joe

The title's better than the thing, I think. Come on, Robb. Easter eggs in the workplace. What do you think, if you said to your mum, you don't give her much, but you said, we need a section, a little five-minute section we talk, possibly talk about on the pod, what would she go for? Could you ask her? Fucking hell. And she can't go, what do you mean, what do you mean?

675.772 - 711.231 Joe

No, no, no, because I wasn't going to say that. The fucking... If I find it and say, Mum, we're looking for new sections. All right. Please, please, please. I'm trying to imagine where this goes. What if your mum came up with something just amazing? That ends up on Channel 4. Richard Osman gives you a bell. Executive Producers Richard Osman, David L. J. Wilkinson, Stella Wilkinson.

711.211 - 749.605 Joe

I love she gets a consultancy fee in the first series just to make sure she's forgotten what she's consulting on which what was it again You know, you said about a cube and Philip Schofield or something. Oh, yeah. We did go with Philip Schofield in the end. No, best not. No, Rebecca. I love Rebecca. Yeah. Oh, God, what was she saying? I need a section for the pot.

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