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Chatabix

S15 Ep 845: Plodding Podding and Coffee Wagons

26 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What challenges did David and Joe face while recording this episode?

37.207 - 38.85 Joe

Hi. Morning. Hi, how are you?

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40.312 - 48.005 David

I'm all right. How are you? I'm getting headaches. I've got my glasses on. You got to swap your Wi-Fi. Looks all right.

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48.025 - 49.107 Joe

Yeah, we're ready to go.

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49.728 - 51.571 David

Do you have a Chattamix jumper?

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53.755 - 55.418 Joe

Not sure. I don't think so.

56.393 - 59.478 David

I'm sort of wearing mine a lot at the moment.

Chapter 2: How does toxic incompetence manifest in everyday life?

60.519 - 62.001 David

I wore out to London the other day.

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63.063 - 63.443 Joe

Did you?

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63.584 - 71.295 David

Yeah, like just chatter bits across my chest. The real week of going, give a shit, and I'm suddenly going, why did I do that?

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71.315 - 72.937 Joe

That's quite nice, quite sweet, isn't it?

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74.94 - 78.165 David

Yeah, I suppose so. I'm sorry, I think it's a little bit faded.

79.107 - 86.459 Joe

I felt like it was not as... It's good anyway. Yeah, I don't wear anything Chatterbixie.

86.479 - 97.576 David

I do. Anyway, how are you? 32 minutes. 37 minutes, I'm guessing, is it?

97.596 - 102.645 Joe

I've got absolutely nothing to say and I hope you've brought a lot with you.

102.665 - 121.773 David

I've got one thing, but it's so tiny and I'm like... At least we've spoken about it before, but I was just, I had yesterday afternoon, because of my incompetence, I fucked up something, which had to be unpicked. I saw a picture of myself, because I don't, because I don't pay enough.

Chapter 3: What insights are shared about the Fawlty Towers Dining Experience?

197.598 - 208.432 David

You know where you go. I can't, I can't, it literally ruined my, it's a nothing question. It just annoys me.

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208.452 - 208.732 Unknown

Yeah.

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209.113 - 217.924 David

It just annoys me, my incompetence. Have you heard this thing someone said the other day? There's a thing called toxic incompetence.

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218.377 - 223.802 Joe

It's where you... I hate all these fucking labels and titles.

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223.862 - 228.166 David

I know, I know. Well, this one was like, she was saying... Can't wait till I die.

229.387 - 232.87 Joe

I nearly said wheel cop, but I didn't mean that. Well, I don't care.

233.851 - 234.591 David

Well, chill out.

235.852 - 239.576 Joe

People will be upset when you eventually die. Let them get on with it.

239.676 - 241.898 David

Let them be upset as well. Let them be upset.

Chapter 4: What are the realities of owning and operating a coffee wagon?

288.825 - 290.327 Joe

Ooh. Thoughts?

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291.309 - 300.743 David

Well, I'm not that. That's what I'm mainly thinking. Because I give it a whirl. I'm just a fucking... Do you know what? I felt like an idiot. Not an idiot as in an idiot fun.

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300.843 - 303.447 Joe

But do you know that someone will clear up after you?

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303.865 - 318.447 David

That wasn't my plan yesterday. I was like, let's get this done. In two hours, I'm going to get this, this, this, and this done. I got this, this, this done, and then I fell at the fourth hurdle. Bang. What were the four thises that you got done?

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318.467 - 318.687 Joe

An invoice.

318.707 - 329.544 David

Sort out an invoice. Bang. I've deleted my notes. What's the other one?

Chapter 5: How has David's experience at Plumpton College shaped his perspective?

329.564 - 332.308 David

I can't remember the other two.

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332.84 - 337.446 David

They were around the fucking things. One of them involved going to the post office.

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339.489 - 340.971 Joe

Bang. Done that. Bang.

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342.133 - 359.037 David

Something else. Not big things, but I'm like, get in them. Done. There's a list. I'll be honest. The last one was the biggest one. Oh, yes. Set up a new bank account. Bosh. Didn't quite do it. My camera on my phone doesn't work. I'm 80% through that.

359.057 - 359.337 Joe

Yeah.

Chapter 6: What role does Adam Buxton play in the discussion?

361.392 - 370.29 Joe

Yeah. Let's call it a day. I've got nothing to say. I don't know why. Well, because we do thousands of these. That's why.

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373.576 - 379.688 David

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Because I literally spoke to you 23 hours ago.

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381.119 - 387.494 Joe

Yeah, and that's sort of... Loose Two Stones sort of dominating my life at the moment, so I can't talk about it.

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387.654 - 393.288 David

If this is shit, go to Patreon and listen to some good eps. Loose Two Stones good eps.

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395.613 - 424.913 Joe

I don't know what to talk about, really. It's just... i could talk about stuff but it's still with family so i don't want to do that um nice weather that's boring uh gonna clean the office that boring gonna do some weight training but that edges into the loose two stone i'm not even listening i'm not even listening i'm literally open for a miracle

426.158 - 430.983 David

Don't. Don't. Calm down. No, but I mean, I'm not even trying.

434.326 - 434.586 Joe

Don't.

Chapter 7: What are the Golden Lobe awards and who gets nominated?

435.247 - 454.765 Joe

I'm just going like this. Calm down. You're talking. Calm down. Oh, I've got something to tell you. Oh, no. Can I tell you this? Yes, because it'll be afterwards. What? Not that it's... I might not have anything to say. It is a miracle. Me and my sister are going to the 40 Towers Dining Experience.

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455.521 - 458.366 David

Why couldn't you say that before in case someone goes?

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458.466 - 461.311 Joe

Well, because I... I just... I don't know.

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461.331 - 467.341 David

I just... Can I say it? Can I say it?

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467.361 - 468.042 Joe

We're doing that.

468.743 - 474.052 David

I told you I nearly did that for you for... Yeah. Most of your sitcom tour.

474.092 - 480.583 Joe

Now, how would you... If you were about to do that for Only Fools and Horses, how do you feel like you would be...

Chapter 8: What reflections do David and Joe have on their podcasting journey?

480.732 - 484.456 Joe

How do you feel like it's going to be? Do you think it's going to be fun or cringe?

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484.676 - 512.307 David

Well, I always think of Tom Bennett when he plays or played Only Fools and Horses, Del Boy in the musical Only Fools and Horses. He said, even though people know that Only Fools and Horses hasn't been on for 30 years and David Jason at 90, when he came out just as there was a definite, ah, They like it? No. Oh. Oh, they don't.

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512.548 - 527.61 David

There's an initial, that's not Del Boy, even though they know it's not going to be Del Boy. And then there's always a point where people go, that's the new Del Boy. So when you're watching Basil, you're going to go, that's not John Cleese.

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528.171 - 541.588 Joe

I think my worry is they're walking around the table sort of, and what do you want? Please, what do you want to... Just sort of being involved in a massive... Why don't you just be involved?

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541.608 - 548.716 David

Because I think there's probably nothing worse for them than someone kind of curling up in a ball mentally, basically.

549.857 - 558.066 Joe

I think it's going to be really good and funny, but I suddenly thought, oh, my God, what if I reject it? Well, it's got to be good because it's been going for donkey's years.

558.086 - 574.281 David

So if you reject it, that's you. It's all proven to work. I can't believe this is your thing that will take over the whole neck as well. That's what's going on in my head. I thought we had something to dig into. You're just going for the fucking show.

574.301 - 580.893 Joe

How's that going to get... Well, I'm just thinking of things that are extraordinary in my life at the moment. That's coming up, so that's quite mad.

580.953 - 586.082 David

I'll go on a holiday. I forgot to tell you in a few weeks.

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