Chapter 1: What emails are featured in this week's Listener's Mailbag?
it's email time now that's who the time is right now we're opening up all of the old emails now i wonder who has emailed in now and craig and stew have emailed in now and sally too has emailed in now and john the We're gonna read them out We're gonna read them out We're gonna read them out
Happy Friday, everyone.
You've got a nice weekend ahead.
Right, let's delve into the bag. I would like to go back a bit, I must admit. Can you filter with dates and times?
You could probably do, if you click on day, sort by date. If you click on the date, it goes back to the oldest, I think.
Yeah. Is that a dangerous game, though? I just want to go back kind of like six months. So many we haven't read out from... Oh, dear, dear, dear. Well, I'm doing a bit of scrolling now.
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Chapter 2: What are the funny moments shared from Australia?
Now I've just gone past John Leslie update.
What's that say? I don't know. Go and click on it.
I can't. It's gone. I scrolled by. We'll come back to it in six years. what do you want i'll give you a oh this is okay you pick one of these our little systems a quip a joke or turf war at dreams beds um i want to can we have all four yeah just let's just do four because i wanted all of them Hi, my name is Amy, a long-time listener from down under in our little systems in Perth, Australia.
Our little systems in our house, when our beautiful Pomeranian German shepherd Bonzo tries to get extra dinner from the dirty dishwasher, we deter him by saying, out with your snout.
Yeah, okay.
And when it's bedtime, my partner and I say, it's skeep time, because I made a spelling error in a text one time, and ever since, we never use the word sleep, only skeep or skeeping.
I was in Nottingham recently, and a man...
came up to me with his son very nice man and he said he told me as our little systems yeah told me an aid a my little sister our little system sorry well out and about yeah god how was that for you it's very odd having someone tell you there our little system very nice man with his very nice son but you sort of don't know what to do no because i'm not going to write it down did you quit
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Chapter 3: How do greenkeepers react to women on the golf course?
I think I told him how good it was.
So just so you know, if you're listening, Joe didn't think it was good.
He was just dealing with the weird. No, I didn't know if it was good or bad. It was just something I hadn't experienced before.
Yeah. Yeah, that's quite intense, isn't it?
Yeah, but it was sweet because he was obviously getting joy out of the Our Little Systems. Yeah, lovely. So I was happy to be a part of his Our Little System chat.
Yeah. I'm just going to bang this in as well. Ladies on the golf course. Reference the March the 19th podcast, the chat of your greenkeeping days. As a man in the greenkeeping world, I can confirm greenkeepers have a weird throw-down tools attitude to ladies walking the golf course.
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Chapter 4: What humorous story unfolds during a bed shopping experience?
It also teaching the mess room chat. I, for one, feel uncomfortable and try to avoid being involved. I don't understand how fully grown men haven't even learned the art of subtlety or learned to at least use their... What's happening? Whenever they see a lady on a golf course.
Oh, because you're far from home. They throw down their tools. Oh, that's good. That's not good. It's funny.
To add, when there's a woman in the industry, they're like the dog on hint.
Is this because you feel like you're a long way from home, like a sailor out to sea?
Yeah, like another planet.
Yeah.
Exactly. Yeah.
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Chapter 5: What are the funny name anecdotes shared in this episode?
You're not, though.
No, it's because you feel lonely.
Yeah. And horny.
Let's keep it golden moment-y, shall we?
Here's a quip from Tom Haslam. A friend of mine has a dog that a couple of years ago managed to steal and eat an entire block of butter. Out of pure intrigue, I'd asked how it looked when it came out the other end. He said it was still butter, but looked more like ghee. I replied, thanks, that's clarified things.
That's good, that. Yeah. Fucking hell, that's... Never going to be used again, is it? What are the chances someone else is... No, no.
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Chapter 6: What unique encounters with Sting are recounted?
Came out like ghee. Is that like what they use in Indian food? Is it like clarified butter?
Yeah, ghee, yeah.
Apparently, it's very fattening.
Emma, two goldfish in a tank, one says to the other, how do you drive this thing?
Came out...
And another one, knock, knock, who's there? Europe, who? No, Europe, who?
Sort of don't miss the pub jokes ones, I think. Because I don't know what to do in this moment.
No, all I do is just look at you and then look back to my... Well, you can go back to your email, so I'm hanging.
I'm in no man's land.
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Chapter 7: How does the podcast discuss celebrity encounters in everyday life?
Is this quite long? I want this to be quite long.
Not really, ish. Your recent Crawley app about working for Dreams stirred up a memory. We went into Dreams to buy a new bed.
I fucking love this. I do. Fucking hell, I'm all cosy.
And within seconds of entering, a salesman locked onto us. I fear being approached in shocks and this man was overly keen and mentally spending the commission he hoped to make. We made our escape from him by going upstairs under the pretense of just having a look at the mattresses. Another saleswoman quickly came over and started a mattress sale at her.
And then salesman number one suddenly appeared at the top of the stairs. He looked angry. What followed was a full-on shouty and aggressive turf war between two colleagues about who had the right to sell to us.
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Chapter 8: What reflections are made about wealth and celebrity culture?
And there we were lying awkwardly on a mattress pretending to test the lumber support. while two grown adults had a standoff at the foot of the bed. It was embarrassing. In the end, we did the only sensible thing. We quietly fled. No bed, no goodbye, just a silent agreement that we'd rather sleep on an uncomfortable old bed than spend another minute with those awful people.
Just go somewhere else and get a mattress.
Oh, I love that.
Really? What was that? Have you had a... What kind of... Oh, that was just off the back of Jeannie's.
That's real estate, yeah.
Good story, that.
Funny names. Married couple. Hi, guys. You pair are so funny. I thought I'd tell you about my friend. She married a guy called Tom Cake. Not that unusual, except her name is Tracy. Together they are Mr. and Mrs. Tea Cake.
Well, Kate's pretty mad in itself.
Yeah.
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