Chapter 1: Who is the surprise guest this time?
There's gonna be a surprise guest on soon Coming soon One of us don't know what's going on One of us don't know what's going on There's gonna be a surprise guest on soon Coming soon Your baby girl
One of us don't know what's going on. One of us don't know what's going on.
It's gonna be a surprise guest on Zoom. Coming soon. Your baby girl is coming soon. It's gonna be a surprise guest on Zoom. Coming soon. Your baby girl.
Hi.
Chapter 2: What are David's initial reactions to the surprise guest?
Hi.
How you feeling? It's horrible, isn't it? So today we have a surprise guest for David. Thus, he is tense. Thoughts?
Do you want me to spin around?
Oh, yeah, yeah, of course, yes. I'd forgotten. Oh, Petra's... I've told her you've wound up.
Chapter 3: How does David guess who the surprise guest might be?
Are you listening at the door, Pete? Oh, for fuck's sake. I'm just going to check. Oh, sorry for swearing, everyone. No, she's coming up to have a listen. What? Oh, piss off. Go and see David's, put this back to him. Look, look. Look, there's Fetcher. I'm so out. The fact there's an audience, what's going on? Fetcher's just excited how stressed you are. Flipping out.
Look, he has to have his back to us. I know, I see the videos.
Oh, yeah, of course you do. My glasses. He's so stressed. That looks so shit.
Chapter 4: What stories does the guest share about their career?
Why is Petra here? What does that mean?
I'm going to be at the door one minute to two. Oh, my God.
See you in a sec.
Oh, my God. Who's this? Who's this? Honestly, I don't know what it was like for you in Rochford.
Honestly, it must have just... No, I didn't know.
I really feel for you.
Yeah, it blew my mind. So, David's got his back to the...
uh screen so you can't see you're not fully round you're not fully round i can't see anything stressing your voice you know i'm worried about is that i have this thing sometimes i told you when i thought it was michael atherton that i've yeah something comes over me i think i'm gonna faint i've had it a lot recently
Well, the video's on, so we'll capture it if it happens. Oh, dear.
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Chapter 5: How do the hosts feel about past experiences in comedy?
Oh, no. It should definitely do that. Are you still doing Zoe stuff or whatever it's called?
Really? We're talking about Zoe app, are we? Is that what we're doing now? We're talking about the Zoe app.
I was just thinking of your stress pills.
Oh, God. Is that good to have in the background? Just a plate of funny tomato sauce.
Well, when one of the royal family are coming home, then... It's Prince Harry. Prince Harry. Flippin' hell.
What would that be like? Prince Harry. I'll be honest with you, I don't even know which one's Prince Harry.
It has to have Prince Harry on it, too. HRH Harry. I know who you are, Harry, if you listen.
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Chapter 6: What challenges do comedians face in the industry today?
You're the younger one, right? He's doing a book promotion thing and he's coming on the pod.
Shall I tell you who I think it is?
Go on.
Brian Damage. I do.
I've had that in my head. I'm always trying to convince myself.
So Petra's outside the door because Brian Damage is coming on.
Well, no.
So explaining Brian Damage. Brian Damage used to run an open mic gig that David used to do.
If it wasn't for Brian Damage, I wouldn't be doing this.
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Chapter 7: How do the hosts discuss the impact of social media on comedy?
She said, yeah. You can come in if you want. Oh, for God's sake. Oh, my heart's going. What's the time in America?
Brilliant, Joe. So obviously not America. What's the time? I'll tell you what the time is, son. It's about 6 a.m. It's obviously not America.
We're eight hours ahead.
Right. Or five. It could be America.
Thoughts for us it might be. I don't know. Don't shut down. Please don't pass out. Please don't pass out because I'll have to really have the reins.
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Chapter 8: What future projects are discussed at the end of the episode?
If anyone thinks I'm putting this on, I'm really not.
Oh, it's clearly not.
I feel like this is harder. I don't know. I never used to feel as used to struggle. And I would, but not as bad as now I'm really. I don't need this. Don't need it. My desk is a mess.
You can't see it. Your head's in the way of most of it. Prince Harry. Turn around, turn around. God almighty, you're hardly turned.
I cannot see anything.
Well, you can. You're facing the camera. That's it. Can we clip the video of David struggling with his mic, please? What are you doing? Calm down. You've got one minute.
Don't turn up, whoever you are. Get a life. Don't turn up.
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule.
Shit, I hate this. I just suddenly had Fern Cotton jump in my head. How's that feel? I don't know. I just have to deal with that. What would you ask Fern Cotton? Oh, fucking hell. That's Fern Cotton. I'd apologise about all the crap on my desk. It's all right. It's all right. Oh, thanks. Thanks for coming on. Oh, God. That's all right. big fan of your work. Really? You're a big fan of your work?
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