Parenting Linguistics?
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What regional terms do people use for everyday items like carts, trolleys, and soda?
Raising a well behaved child in this world requires strict discipline and punishment. Today we will look No
the f we will not.
Hello and welcome to Child Proof, a Parasocial Parenting Podcast. I'm Gwenna Latland. And
I'm Tori Phantom, and this episode goes out to everyone who comes prepared.
And everyone who's just like us, cause Tori wrote our script for this intro a few minutes ago.
It's true. We're big fans of Break in the Fourth Wall. How's your week been, Gwenna? It's great. It's great
so far. So uh I lost my internet on Sunday because it's so hot in Oklahoma, the internet melted. That okay. Yeah. I'm glad climate change isn't real. It's not real or anything. Yeah, it's been so incredibly hot a grass fire started and uh the combination of the incessant heat plus you know an actual fire in our internet fiber lines just went no. That's Horrifying. That's right. I used to walk around saying I would have no problem if we had a protected power outage. Like I've got books, I've got all this stuff that I can do. The internet went out for one day and I turned into a massive baby. What do you mean I can't like order the grow because I was gonna do a grocery order online and then go pick it up. No, I had to go shop like a haven.
Um, I was trying to write. Dude, the amount of stuff I've just Look up. Just in the middle of I was trying to figure out what a dresser was called. Like I knew the word dresser, but I was trying to describe a very specific kind of dresser. And I was like, is it low boy? And I went to Google it and then Google doesn't work. And then I live in the sticks. So cellular doesn't work. So I'm like, I this is listen, I read yesteryear. I am not that type of influencer. Give it back.
The the amount that we rely on the internet without realizing it, like I write founded scripts when I'm sitting in the uh pickup line. Like I'll work on it and it's the same thing. I'll like come across something and I'm like, oh, I should go find this specific primary source. I should go look for this and I'm like, I'm in my car. And I don't want to look it up on my phone. I could, but then it's like I then I have to hold two devices and it's a whole thing. So Anyway, uh we were not meant to be in the past. We need the The modern conveniences turns out.
Mm-hmm. No, I I have definitely that twenty four hours without the internet uh definitely solidified my original plan. When the zombies come, I'm feeding myself to them. That's what's happening. No, we're not taking over a Lowe's and storming out the we're not uh my kids are old enough to fend for themselves. I am mommy is feeding herself to the horde, okay?
feel like there's other options, but no
that's it. I'm lazy. No, I take that back. It completely depends on which type of zombies. Are they clickers? Feeding myself. Are they the shufflers? If I can if I can outrun them, I might try for a bit.
For how long?
Until I get bored with
running. So maybe ten minutes. Probably a generous timeline.
I could see it. Yeah. All right. It's been ten minutes. Uh all right, guys. I'm yours. You win Jack, I'm
it. Actually, no, what it would be is that's all they would hear while they're eating. Just unhealthy panting. I feel like the zombies goes. We we really need to eat better. These out of shape things. It's gonna go straight to our hips.
I feel like I'd be more like uh Shauna the Dead where uh the apocalypse has happened and he's just oblivious to it. He's just like walking past all the stuff and he doesn't even know until one walks in his house 'cause he just left the door open. Like That's more my vibe. All right. Do we have do we have emails today? Today is all emails. Guys we are super prepared. I sent you that text last night. I was like, I'll make a note. I didn't tell you when I'd make the note. So anyway, I made it this morning.
Made it this morning. I have no idea what we're gonna say. Literally no idea what we're gonna talk about. Hi, Gwenna and Tori, insanely longtime lurker here. I've been following both your socials since COVID and I've listened to every episode of Child Proof and Founded.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What regional terms do people use for everyday items like carts, trolleys, and soda?
0:00–5:01
2
How do listeners describe the differences between “hoagie,” “sub,” and “sandwich” across the US?
5:01–10:57
3
Why do some families adopt British words like “car park” and “windscreen” in the US?
10:57–16:53
4
What’s the story behind the “land‑run day” tradition and its impact on kids?
16:53–21:25
5
How should parents handle a child developing a regional accent versus a neutral one?
21:25–27:18
6
What are the most common confusions between “pants,” “trousers,” and “pantaloons”?
27:18–32:20
7
How do kids and adults decide between “crawfish” and “crawdad” for freshwater lobsters?
32:20–37:31
8
What advice do the hosts give for preparing children for their first optometrist visit?
37:31–44:57