Rocky Fortune: Murder on the Aisle 11/24/1953
episode
Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
25 min
9 speakers
4 chapters
transcribed 4 months ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the introduction to Rocky Fortune and today's episode?
Welcome to Choice Classic Radio, where we bring to you the greatest old-time radio shows. Like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube, and thank you for donating at choiceclassicradio.com.
Now Frank Sinatra transcribed as Rocky Fortune.
NBC presents Frank Sinatra, starring as that footloose and fancy-free young gentleman, Rocky Fortune.
I hear it said on Good Authority that a rolling stone gathers no moss. In my case, it is not only moss that I don't gather, but something else which is green, namely lute, with which to buy the little things that make life worth living, like food. I am therefore always available for employment, and when the agency sends me up to the Knickerbocker magazine, I am very happy to accept their $48.50 a week less withholding. Excuse me, lady, in which of these glass brick kennels do I find Mr. Walter Potteridge?
Just open your ears and head for the biggest noise. That's our Walter.
I'm telling you, Burke, I want those reviews on time.
See what I mean?
Thanks. But two weeks in a row I've had the business office after me for missing deadlines. I'm not in business for my health, which is lousy. What do you want?
Mr. Partridge?
It says Partridge on the door. My cufflinks are initial WP and I've got Dear Walter tattooed on my right bicep. Yes, I am Mr. Partridge.
Okay. Who are you? Rocky Fortune. The agency sent me over.
Oh, yes.
Well, what do I do?
Do you see this sad, broken-down, pseudo-intellectual... Now, Walter, you're taking unfair advantage of me. This miserable object is Burke Whittemore, the drama critic of the Knickerbocker magazine. His reviews are followed with bated breath by middle-aged women from Hohokas to Great Neck. There's only one trouble. He has not seen a play in the last three years.
But if he doesn't go to plays, how does he review them?
Oh, he goes. He occupies an aisle seat in the fifth row. He's there in body, but unfortunately, the spirit has been applied internally. Ah, come on, Walter. Isn't it fitting to pour libations to Dionysius before attending his temple? I'm not worried about Dionysius. I am concerned about the libations being poured into Burk Whittemore. You get the picture, Mr. Fortune? He's on the sauce. That's the general idea. My dear man.
Paralyzed drunk, I can type a better column with my elbow than any other drama critic in the metropolitan area.
Just once, I'd like to see what you can do while sober. All right, now, Fortune, you understand your job.
Look, Mr. Partridge, I am a great connoisseur of the theater arts. I have sat under the runway of Old Howard in Boston and similar high-tone resorts in Union City, New Jersey. But if you're looking for a drama critic, I think you better get yourself a new boy.
Don't be ridiculous, Fortune. I've got a drama critic. What I want is someone who can keep him from falling on his face. Oh. All right, now, here's your job. There's a new play opening tonight, Trolley in the Sky by St. John Maloney. Now, you're to stick with Whittemore from now until curtain time. Just keep him sober and don't let him fall asleep in the show. Your seat will be directly behind his on the aisle. And if he starts to show any signs of drooping... Give him a good stiff poke in the back of the neck. Now, see here, Ward. You think you can manage that, Fortune?
Don't worry, Mr. Partridge. He won't even wink. I got a real dandy rabbit punch. I developed it punching rabbits.
I am now remembering that this Burke Whittemore is the fellow known on Broadway as the Kiss of Death. He's not written a review with a kind word in it since Helen Hayes was playing kid parts with bloomers showing. But now he's a rum-dum, senior grade, and I'm hired to make an honest man of him. We head back to Whittemore's office where the job of protecting him from his various follies starts even sooner than I think.
But you can't go in there! Get away from that door!
Won't you come in, Maloney?
I knew I'd find you hiding in here, Whittemore! Be careful how you swing that cane.
All right, Maloney, what's the idea of breaking the glass in my door?
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is the introduction to Rocky Fortune and today's episode?
0:00–8:39
2
What job does Rocky Fortune take on involving Burke Whittemore?
8:39–9:53
3
How does Rocky Fortune attempt to keep Whittemore sober during the play?
9:53–17:38
4
What unexpected event occurs during the play that involves a murder?
17:38–24:54
Speakers
9 identifiedMore from Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
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