Denis Leary

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Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend 1h 5m 5 speakers 8 chapters transcribed
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What is Denis Leary's relationship with Conan O'Brien?

Dennis Leary 0:03
Hi, my name is Dennis Leary. And I feel like I could give a fuck about being Conan O'Brien's friend, because I'm already his fucking cousin. It's true. It's true.
Conan O'Brien 0:17
You know, first of all, we were just acquired by PBS, so... I'm going to reduce... You're going to reduce the fuckage? Yeah.
Unknown 0:27
Fall is here, hear the yell Back to school, ring the bell Brand new shoes, walkin' loose Climb the fence, books and pens I can tell that we are gonna be friends I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Hey there!
Conan O'Brien 0:47
Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, joined as always by Sonam Obsession.
Matt Gourley 0:52
Yeah, hi.
Conan O'Brien 0:53
Matt Gorley. Hi. And I'm gonna let people have a little peek behind the scenes of how we work here. I noticed something recently, which is we always have the interview start with the guest saying, and then blank.

How did Denis Leary and Conan O'Brien discover their family connection?

Conan O'Brien 1:08
Mm-hmm. And I feel blank about being Conan O'Brien's friend. And we give them a physical piece of paper. And that's the way we've been doing it now for, is it five years? Six years? Almost eight. It's over seven years. Seven and a half. Oh, my God. Speeding towards the grave. All right. Anyway, walking hurriedly towards the grave. Okay. And what I noticed is that guests, not every guest, but maybe one in three... they get fidgety.

What healthy lifestyle choices does Denis Leary discuss?

Conan O'Brien 1:33
And so there's this piece of paper in front of them and they would do this a lot with their paper and slide it around. And it would distract me. I think sometimes you would hear it, Eduardo. Yes, every now and then. And I just started to notice there must be a better way. And so finally, For the first time recently, we started, I suggested, isn't there a better way where there's no physical piece of paper? So we started putting it up on a screen over there on the wall so there's nothing in front of them and they can't fidget. We try it out for the first time recently and we're doing it. The guest says, hello, my name is blank and I feel blank about being Conan O'Brien's friend and we're off to the races.
Conan O'Brien 2:07
Everything's great. And then I start to hear... And I'm like, what the hell? And I look over and you, Matt Gourley, the podcast maestro, the producer, you were like, you were shuffling your paper and you kept crinkling it and uncrinkling it. And I kept looking at you and you were looking at me. You weren't picking up on my signal. And then I had to point at you during the interview at your paper and you made this oops face.
Unknown 2:37
Yeah. What were you doing? In my defense, it was in the Kevin Nealon episode. Yeah. And you guys were just insane.
Conan O'Brien 2:43
Yeah, that's true.
Unknown 2:44
So I think I was just like disassociating, you know? Because it was uncomfortable. No, it wasn't uncomfortable. I just normally don't do that kind of thing, but I was rolling the corner of my paper.
Conan O'Brien 2:53
Oh my God, it was so loud. I apologize, yeah. Well, no, listen, apology not accepted.

What was the Emerson Comedy Workshop and how did it start?

Conan O'Brien 2:58
Oh, then apology rescinded. Oh. How do I get that apology back? Because now I'm reconsidering and I would like the apology.
Unknown 3:03
You have to really show me that you want it. Where is it stored, the apology? At my apology safety deposit box.
Conan O'Brien 3:08
Okay, I've got to get in there. That's my new heist movie with my friends. Me and my friends got to get into that vault and get that apology back. Oh, my God. The worst heist movie ever. The worst for an apology. Yeah, I did it. We got it. It's all of us in some villa in France that we can't afford because we got no money. And we're all toasting each other as I unbox the apology.
Matt Gourley 3:32
Wait, and you open it and there's nothing in there.
Conan O'Brien 3:34
You just hear, I apologize. It comes out and it disappears into the air.
Unknown 3:38
I apologize.
Conan O'Brien 3:39
Into the ether? Yeah. So anticlimactic. And then someone comes in and says, get out of my villa.
Oh.
Conan O'Brien 3:45
You don't pay anything.
Matt Gourley 3:47
Your Italian accent.
Conan O'Brien 3:49
I thought they were French.
Matt Gourley 3:49
I know, what is, was that a French?

How does Denis Leary describe his experiences growing up in Worcester?

Conan O'Brien 3:51
An Italian can own a villa in France. And in this movie, because I can't afford the really good French villa, I go to the Italian villa in France. Asshole, Eduardo.
Matt Gourley 4:03
So the Italian villas are subpar is what you're saying.
Conan O'Brien 4:06
No, this one just happens to be. I would never generalize. But this guy really doesn't have his shit together.

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