Patton Oswalt Returns Again
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Why does Patton Oswalt feel relieved about being Conan O'Brien's friend?
Hi, my name is Patton Oswalt, and I feel relieved about being Conan O'Brien's friend. Relieved? Relieved. You thought you were just barely hanging on with me? Hanging on by my fingertips? I know you got way bigger people you're hanging out with. Yes, I do. When everyone grabs the chocolate chip cookies, you learn to like the oatmeal. You learn to like the oatmeal cookies. Yes, sir.
Fall is here, hear the yell Back to school, ring the bell Brand new shoes, walkin' loose Climb the fence, books and pens I can tell that we are gonna be friends Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends
Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. I'm Conan O'Brien.
What are the challenges of modern-day press tours?
Big surprise. Joined by Sonam Obsession.
Hello.
Matt Gorley. Hi. And very exciting show today. And I'm excited because this is a follow-up. You know, every now and then something comes up in a podcast and maybe it piques the listener's interest and then we get to follow up with new information that changes the whole story. Do you know what I'm talking about here, Matt?
I do, yeah.
Why don't you take the ball?
Well, in an episode not long ago, we were talking about the epic time that Eduardo called Conan a little bitch.
Yeah. Yeah, well, I don't know if it's epic time.
It was epic.
How does Patton Oswalt find comfort in feeling overwhelmed?
Maybe the darkest hour.
One for the ages.
In the history of our nation. Monumental.
Clutched my pearls.
Hero of mine.
And actually, we were all reveling in it.
Yes, and just to make it clear, we were talking on a certain subject, and then Eduardo out of nowhere just called me a little bitch. Out of nowhere.
It wasn't out of nowhere. I know, out of nowhere.
Well, I think we're going to litigate this again because I'm talking about the time we were talking about that.
which was very recent, but it didn't bother you at all.
Cause you don't, you know, it's sort of, uh, it felt a little out of left field. Um, and not at all in keeping with my stature, but yes, we were discussing that time. Everyone here of course was doing the ha ha. Wasn't that great. Wasn't that great. Conan sure got his. And then Sony, you admitted something that's kind of surprised us.
What humorous stories does Conan share about past guests?
I kind of stopped us all.
I don't think I would ever, I don't think I could ever call you a bitch again. It just feels like. And then you said you still have a little bit of professional fear. And I, I, I think I do.
And it was so funny because you have kicked my ass to the curb in so many different ways.
I've called you a dick. Sure. I've called you an asshole.
Well, I am those things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know why bitch feels like it's a little too hard.
Harsh.
How has the landscape of late-night television changed?
No, but to you, it it stopped you a little bit. And you were surprised that Eduardo said it. Yeah. And you thought I couldn't go that far.
Yes.
OK, well, some information has come in over the transom. And Matt, you were the keeper of this information. Care to tell us about it?
Well, as soon as we left that segment, Sam Curry, who handles all the wonderful social media, put a clip in all of our faces. Let's just roll the clip.
We can talk shit, right?
The dreaded Sonam of Session, who's terrific at cornhole. Yeah, I'm terrific.
Come on, you little bitch. Fucking can't throw, you little bitch. What wasted height. God, this is embarrassing for you. Loser. You can't fucking talk to me.
I'm not worried about this at all.
I can't get better at this. If we did a competition where we built wooden airplanes, you'd win. Dork. Someone's getting hurt because of you. She's losing! I don't think I've ever seen you throw anything.
Twice, twice you call him a little bitch. Twice you call me a little bitch. And that's one of 700 awful things you said to me just as we're playing cornhole within like a two minute period.
Oh my God.
So you call me a little bitch twice.
I was brutal. I was.
So what, explain. Yeah. How can you think you've never done it because you never in a million years would and then you said it twice?
And within seconds of each other legitimately thought that I had never called you a bitch. I really did.
Right.
And then I the moment that that started, I was like, I remember that.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why does Patton Oswalt feel relieved about being Conan O'Brien's friend?
0:03–0:52
2
What are the challenges of modern-day press tours?
0:52–1:24
3
How does Patton Oswalt find comfort in feeling overwhelmed?
1:24–2:13
4
What humorous stories does Conan share about past guests?
2:13–2:39
5
How has the landscape of late-night television changed?
2:39–4:23
6
What insights does Patton offer about the pressures of performing?
4:23–6:51
7
How does Patton's experience with his children influence his comedy?
6:51–12:32
8
What themes emerge in Patton's latest special, Tea & Scotch?
12:32–1:03:28