The Emotional Intelligence You Were Never Taught with Michelle Chalfant
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Why were most of us never taught how to set healthy boundaries?
Our emotions are our superpower. When we learn how to touch and feel our emotions, they become our superpower. It's where we gain our intuition. It's where we gain our needs. We want to learn how to feel. And I'm going to say eight out of 10 people, when I would ask them, Hey, what are you feeling? Like, tell me what's going on inside your body. They're like, I don't know. I feel angry. Okay. What else? And man, when we start penetrating what what's going on in the body, and I say dropping down below the chin, it's like penetrating the chin. Like, what's going on down here instead of here? Game changer. Game changer. We try to solve everything. We go into our ego. We try to go into the mind and fix it and change things and make you change so I don't get so triggered.
No, you got to go in the body. And that's a key element of setting boundaries again.
come on this journey with me each week when you join me we are going to chase down our goals overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow i'm ready for my close-up hi and welcome back i'm so glad you're back here with us this week okay here we go we've got michelle chalfant mslpc She's a licensed therapist, holistic life coach, and author committed to helping individuals break free from limitations and discover their true selves. As the creator of The Adult Chair Model, she combines simple psychology with grounded spirituality to inspire personal transformation. Her podcast, The Michelle Huffad Show, Life from the Adult Chair, has over 10 million downloads, offering practical tools and relatable insights for overcoming your challenges. Michelle's new book, The Adult Chair, Get Unstuck, Claim Your Power, and Transform Your Life, has just been released from random house and is available now.
Michelle leads transformative events, retreats and courses through the Academy of Awakening membership and trains others and her model via the adult chair coaching certification program, where she's creating a new generation of coaches. Michelle, thank you so much for being here today.
How does childhood modeling impact your adult emotional patterns?
That's a mouthful. Thanks, Heather.
My gosh, an impressive background, that is for sure. All right, well, let's get into your new book because I'm so curious. You know, a lot of people listen to the show.
Mm-hmm.
because of work, because they're in corporate America, they're an entrepreneur, but a lot of people I'm learning more and more also listen to just better themselves. And one of the things that your new book really gets into is this idea of boundaries. And I feel like Boundaries are applicable as a parent. Boundaries are applicable and necessary for friendships, for work, for personal romantic relationships, really through everything. So I was hoping you could start off talking a little bit about boundaries just in general.
What are your emotional triggers actually trying to show you?
Yeah, for sure. So boundaries is a word that scares people. You know, when I saw clients for many, almost 20 years, I would when I would say to somebody, hey, I think that you might need to set a boundary there. Their response, I mean, almost every time was, well, I'm not a confrontational person. You know, I can't I'm not going to say that. Wait a minute. So I'd have to go into a definition of what the heck a boundary is. So a boundary simply teaches other people how we want to be treated, but it can also just be a simple request. Like, hey, I'd like you to pick me up a little earlier so we get to the party on time. It's just a simple request, but people are... afraid, they don't want to set them, they feel guilty, they feel overwhelmed, they don't know how to set them. So yeah, so that's, that's all the boundary is. But I find that people, you know, if we don't have modeling when we're growing up, as far as how to set boundaries, or did you witness healthy boundaries in your life, we become adults, we don't know how to do it.
How often is that the case versus where people like, do you know percentages or ballpark? Like how many people really do know how to set healthy boundaries versus those that don't? Because I will tell you, just thinking about this in business and parenting and in romantic, like for sure, it's definitely more challenging from where I sit right now.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why were most of us never taught how to set healthy boundaries?
0:00–1:54
2
How does childhood modeling impact your adult emotional patterns?
1:54–2:40
3
What are your emotional triggers actually trying to show you?
2:40–4:03
4
How do unconscious belief systems form before age 6?
4:03–6:17
5
How can you reconnect with your inner child to heal abandonment?
6:17–9:34
6
Why are romantic relationships the biggest mirror for your emotional wounds?
9:34–10:34
7
How does reparenting your inner child transform your confidence and relationships?
10:34–12:18
8
What should you do when someone resists your new boundaries?
12:18–55:33
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