Why Your Child’s Anxiety Might Be Coming From You | Sissy Goff, MEd, LPC-MHSP & David Thomas, LMSW
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What alarming trends are child counselors noticing in kids today?
As child counselors, you are seeing things in kids that you have not seen at all in 30 years and it has you seriously concerned.
We are seeing a lot of kids who are unwilling to walk into a school building, afraid to get their driver's license. The things that we looked forward to and felt like were a part of life growing up, they are hesitant and feel incapable.
Ride a bike.
Kids don't know how to ride bikes? No. There's a teenager who's telling their parents, I don't think I'm ready to get my driver's license. Do you think that a parent should push them to anyway?
We're not waiting until we feel ready or prepared. We're going to walk forward with courage in things that feel overwhelming and scary. Nervous is normal. And I don't think we're saying that enough to kids.
Your seven-year-old is anxious, overwhelmed, melting down over things that didn't used to be a big deal. Your teenager is telling you they're not interested in driving. And your 20-year-old has no desire to leave the house. What is happening? Are we crazy or did kids used to be more capable? Sissy Goff and David Thomas have spent over 30 years sitting across from kids and families in crisis as child counselors. And they're sounding the alarm. We are raising kids who feel more supported than ever, but also less capable than ever. In their new book, Capable, How to Teach Your Kids Strength, Skills, and Strategies to Build Resilience, they argue something that's going to make a lot of parents uncomfortable.
Your job is not to make your kid happy. It is to make them strong enough to handle life. This episode is all about raising not just confident, but capable kids. Watch today's episode on the Real Alex Clark YouTube channel or Culture Apothecary on Spotify, and please pause, leave a five-star review before we get started. Keep the discussion going afterwards in the Cute Servatives Facebook group. Please welcome Nashville child psychologists Sissy Goff and David Thomas to Culture Apothecary. You guys are child counselors and you're working primarily with kids eight to 18 years old. And so the types of families that are bringing their kids to you, what is it that they're experiencing with their children that they kind of need help with?
really everything we all need help with. Kids who are struggling socially, kids who are anxious, kids who are depressed, kids with ADHD, kids whose parents are getting divorced, have lost someone in their family. We try to do counseling really differently. We're in a little yellow house with a white picket fence and we have popcorn popping for afternoon snacks for the kids. And a little boy was walking out of Daystar and he looked at his mom and he said, Mom, I I don't go to Daystar for counseling. I just go there to talk about my problems.
How are parents struggling with their children's independence?
It feels like such a privilege to get to come alongside kids and families in that way.
That's so special. And how long have you guys been working together?
A long time, 30 years. We don't love saying that number out loud because it dates us, but we started when we were six and seven. We got going real early in the field.
What was the situation or story that drove you into this line of work?
We're a lot older than you. And when we were growing up, no one was talking about counseling. You didn't hear about it anywhere. except when we were growing up, our parents, for whatever reason, there were all kinds of things you couldn't watch, couldn't do, but we could watch soap operas. And so I grew up on days of our lives, and there was a child psychologist on days of our lives, first person in the mental health space I'd ever heard of. And I remember thinking, that sounds like a really cool job. So Marlena from Days of Our Lives is how I got my inspiration. And then just felt like the doors kept opening and God kept calling me into kind of the next space, graduate school, all those things. And did an interview for Daystar and thought, I never knew you could do something like this.
And so 32 years later, doing the same thing.
I went to college, was an advertising major, but took psychology electives all throughout.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What alarming trends are child counselors noticing in kids today?
0:00–2:52
2
How are parents struggling with their children's independence?
2:52–7:47
3
What is the uncomfortable truth about making kids happy?
7:47–9:03
4
How can parents help their kids build resilience?
9:03–22:33
5
What role does technology play in parenting challenges?
22:33–33:42
6
How can parents effectively encourage their children to face fears?
33:42–1:05:13
Speakers
4 identifiedMore from Culture Apothecary with Alex Clark
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