Designed As You Human Design Podcast
The Stretch & Regulate: 20 Seconds Of Courage Can Change Everything
09 Mar 2026
Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Before we dive in, I wanted to introduce you to our new space, The Expansion. If you receive from the podcast, just you wait until what you find inside. Because on the podcast, we just touched the surface. Inside The Expansion, you uplevel your identity, your energetic coherence.
your nervous system capacity, your ability to create, attract and hold easeful wealth, greater impact and evolve in your spiritual evolution. Because as you expand, your business reflects that. Gone are the days of cookie cutter strategy or one size fits all or Instagram hacks that you might see. If that actually worked, it would have worked by now.
So I know you've already done all the courses, you've applied strategies, and yet you've reached your energetic ceiling because your success is not about what you do. It's about who you become building it. So this is why I created the expansion.
And this is what has meant I have created a seven figure business from scratch, a community of over 30,000 people and trained and work with thousands of people all over the world. I started to see really incredible people doing so goddamn much. And that was actually taking them further from the place that they wanted to be. It was creating more hardship. They're addicted to the struggle.
And when I started to see that it wasn't about the external, it was who you were underneath it. So when you realize that there is something going on so much deeper, the spiritual laws, the consciousness, the codes that create your life, then you can actually lean in and leverage and you open the floodgates of opportunity, of wealth, of impact, of community, of love.
So this is your room where your expansion becomes inevitable. I'm so excited. So definitely go check it out and enjoy this podcast. Hi my loves, welcome back to the podcast. Today I have a really great conversation with me and Maddie. She is from the Healthy Hustlers podcast, which I really recommend to go listen to.
I love Maddie's podcast and she interviews really incredible guests and she has these really beautiful solo episodes that I know you'll love. And we spoke about things that I haven't spoken on the podcast about, like 20 seconds of courage, which was really powerful for me when I was going through a lot of change.
Also, we spoke about conditioning and how this is our most powerful teacher in our lives. And I really just wanted to share this one because yeah, I really liked it listening back. So what I wanted to remind you is that we can't map out our future based on our current consciousness.
And how we know if it's right for us, if there is some form of mental resistance or we feel some like form of like, oh, are we doing this? Is it happening? And sometimes it just takes 20 seconds of courage to do it, to go for it, to say yes, to choose yourself. And we may stretch outside the comfort of our nervous system and then we regulate.
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Chapter 2: What is the '20 seconds of courage' principle and how can it change your life?
If you feel like people won't understand, if you feel, and you go through an identity crisis. Oh, 100%. I think especially if it's not that foundation, like if you haven't been raised to have certain beliefs or something to be normalized, it is like an identity or like, you know, And so many people say to me, like, I sound like a weirdo saying this or this sounds.
I'm like, you don't sound crazy to me. You can give it to me. Exactly. Well, I just see it as life now. I just feel like you just understand life and energetics. It's not, you know, I think the whole idea of it being crazy or woo-woo, all of these things, it was just a way to suppress this. You know, especially women.
It was like, we'll tell you you're crazy because then that intuitive wisdom would actually transform things, would actually bring down different powers. It would, you know, cut through a lot of the bullshit that's just being, you know, fed to us. Exactly. Yeah.
So yeah, we go through these identity crises and what I've come to realize is like what better identity is than infinity or than energy or life force or infinite possibility. And for so long, I was so attached to different masks or different roles or different ways I thought I had to be.
And I think a lot of people go through this point where it's like, well, life will push you to there where it's almost enough. I can't keep operating like this. Either you get sick, either things start to like these patterns keep happening. And life will always start to invite you into your truer expression because that's the whole point here is to grow, evolve and contribute in some way.
And it's not random, the things you're interested in, your life path, things that have happened in your life. And so along the way, I started to pick up different modalities and wisdom, sciences. I love to learn. I'm a big forever student. And human design was a really, really big one for me. It really shifted the way I saw myself.
And I believe that when you have a truer, deeper, more empowered understanding of yourself, your true nature, your energetic nature, because we are energetic beings. We are just energy. We think we're these bodies just like he's like.
flesh and bone and that's it no there's an energy within you that when it is amplified when you're allowing your life force to yeah you attract what you desire you create what you're here to create and so what human design does and why I'm so passionate about and why I now teach it is that it gives you a higher perspective a truest perspective of yourself no longer one of I'm not enough I'm
I have to force this. I guess I missed out on a good life or life is out to get me. Life is hard. I'm lacking in some way. Because when you believe that, you create that reality. I'm currently reading this book called Power Versus Force by Dr. David Hawkins, and he speaks about how Lower frequencies, when you are operating at this guilt, shame, fear, self-hatred, it's always inward. Yes.
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Chapter 3: How does the stretch and regulate cycle help in personal growth?
Because I have mentioned it a lot of the podcast because I love understanding my human design. It's like unlocked so much knowing and potential in me just, and this is going to sound really morbid, but what you said before about like we being energetic beings, I feel like sometimes the easiest, and I'm backtracking a bit, but the easiest way to
I've realized to almost like grasp that is when you see someone, I'm not sure if you've ever seen someone resting to sleep or like, you know, passed away. But I remember losing when I lost my nan and I really didn't want to see her resting. And my dad's like, no, I think you need that kind of closure.
And it was actually one of the most beautiful gifts that I had because it reinforced every belief I had about energy and souls. I think when you... So social. I've got goosebumps. When you were saying that about we are energetic beings, it's like when you see someone's body resting, you realize that it is just a shell.
Like it's literally everything that you love about them, appreciate about them, miss about them has left their physical body. And so, yeah, sorry, that's it.
total roundabout way of like but I just love that you touched on that because I think from if you want that kind of like visual or more understanding of energetics if you can think of our body literally as the shell that carries us through the world but the energy and the soul is what people fall in love with and they're attracted to and those energies that can be altered almost.
And that's the thing. It's like when you understand that that energy, to me, I call it life force. Yes. I love that you call it that. I know. It's so nice. It's good because it really is the thing that it makes more sense to me. And I think as well, it's, it feels more, I guess, welcoming or easy to grasp compared to like, it doesn't, you don't have to be spiritual.
You don't have to be scientific to understand that. Yeah. And exactly with what you're saying, and I think what we see is that the problems start happening in our life or we start to feel a certain way when we believe we are just this body. Yes.
And what I mean by that, it's like when we understand that the life force, the energy that's moving through you is the same that turns tides, is the same that generates ideas, is the same that's created everything. It's like what life is made from, energy. And so how could we ever say that our life force is not enough? How could you ever say that your ideas are not enough?
How could you ever say that you are separate or somehow don't belong when you are the same energy that is running through everyone else, but you have a different flavor or, you know, manifestation of it?
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Chapter 4: Why is stillness and silence essential for building capacity?
And that has been a really cool little shift. exactly what you're saying, that your energy is what is actually making you a match with the money. And I was like, wow, that in itself was just like so much less attachment to this thing that we've been made to believe is physical. When do you go like to work and someone pulls a limited amount out of their pocket and says, okay, here you go.
I know we used to. And like I used to grow up believing that that was the truth because I worked in restaurants and that's actually what happened. But it's like that doesn't like it's so unlimited in terms of what you can call in. Yeah. Well, what I love even like really love about that as well, it's no longer is this attachment of I need more of it.
It's like showing you that it is this, you know, it's nothing outside of you. Yes. Because this is this whole thing. Yeah. Which is really cool. Yeah. I love that. I kind of went to ask it before and now I'm like, from a human design perspective, I would love to give just like some context because it is something that's like really guided me.
And obviously you have unlocked the most magical magnetic path with human design. But I guess if a listener is really new to it, what would you describe in a very simplistic way human design? Yeah. How I see it is it's your energetic blueprint of your highest self, of your truest self, of the person you came here to be and who you are at your innate core.
But what happens is that we move through life and we pick up conditioning, we pick up stories, we pick up ideas, which I just believe is truly a part of the human experience. It's nothing to ever shame our parents for. It's nothing to ever get angry at society from. It is part of the human experience because we come in as a, I guess, you know, you see it in babies.
They have nothing to prove, nothing. They are who they are. Yeah. And we go through a process of almost forgetting that and then coming back so it becomes even more sacred and you can hold even more light, wisdom, love, abundance, all of the things. So human design, it brings you back to that truth. And what I see is that a lot of people...
aren't actually you know it's not like anyone is holding people down it's not like anyone's putting people in a prison and you can't do this you can't you have to do this it's our own mind and we're in these prisons prisons in our mind and what it's doing is that it's giving you a higher perspective of yourself so that you no longer live in the container that your mind is trying to keep you in.
And the reason why is because your subconscious only cares that you're safe. It only cares that you're safe. And to it, safety is just the known. So by living truly as you intuitively and There is so much uncertainty.
I was just recently in Nepal and learning from Tibetan monks and a big teaching that they spoke about was the reality of impermanence in our life, speaking of like with your nan and the reality that every single thing is in a constant change and flood, including ourselves. Yes. And what we do is we try to control life, but then you're no longer in life. You're just in your mind.
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Chapter 5: What is identity coherence and how does it influence self-trust?
So if she walks up to the dinner table and she's like, Oh, I don't want that, Mum. Even his favourite meal that I've cooked specifically for him Straight away, oh, mum, I don't want that ear. And I'm like, you are, but naturally that is what he's going to do because he, but I'm like watching this conditioning play out even just in a sibling.
And then I'm like, then there's friends that influence that. There's Brian and I that influence that. There's people like their grandparents that flow on effect from the moment that they start understanding language. Condition, condition, condition, conditioned. And we get to these ages where we're, you know, 30. A lot of the time we start questioning so much of what we've been told.
I would just love to know from your understanding, like for anyone who is listening and thinking, you know, I'm starting to have awareness that a lot of the beliefs, a lot of the conditioning is based on things that have been placed on me versus coming from a place of like true alignment and authenticity. Yeah.
What are some of the more earlier steps that they can take to really start, I guess, maybe playing with that subconscious versus conscious mind? Because I think sometimes when you start to just be curious and you start to play with it and see if you can build new beliefs, which you absolutely can, but it's that process of building that evidence.
It's like, it's really exciting to do that, doesn't it? Well, you can say that now. I think when you first start waking up, it's like scary. Yeah. And I think the biggest piece is like just honoring yourself in this, like I say, you're like waking up, you know, you're waking up. And as you beautifully mentioned, it's like, especially from zero to seven, we are just in full hypnotic mode.
You are just receiving, receiving, receiving. And How I like to see it is that, you know, your children chose you. They chose to be conditioned by you because of some evolutionary path that they're here to have. And so we can think straight away negative conditioning. There's also positive conditioning. Absolutely. Yeah. And that's what we get to choose now, how we're positively conditioned.
I see human design as a positive conditioning. Like it conditioned me. It totally changed the way I thought. I see it as like a subconscious reprogrammer because it literally got into my subconscious and gave me new beliefs and stories about myself. And so beautifully, as you said, it's like life will start showing you where you're in your, I call it illusion, in the illusions.
And there's a lot of illusions. There's hundreds and thousands of illusions of you can't make money for that or that person's out to get you. People want to betray you or whatever. You're not safe here. All of these things. You are separate. You somehow are not enough. All of these illusions.
You start to get curious, as you said, and it needs to come from so much self-love and so much self-acceptance and no blaming. No blaming to anyone else because in doing that, again, it's like similar to what I was saying, like it's a lower frequency energy and it will just keep you in that victimhood state. Definitely.
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Chapter 6: How can conditioning serve as a powerful teacher in our lives?
How can I see if that's possible for me? And it's like that also then opens the door to that change. self-mastery in a way and being more curious, doesn't it? Yeah. I see it as like an initiation. I see it as cool. I've just been made aware of it because something so big is coming on the other side. So instead of seeing it as this negative thing, I see it as this like
almost like guarding gate for the thing that you desire or the higher energy or the higher meaning. So let's use an example of a client decides not to sign up for you. And you notice this story of like, maybe I'm not enough. Should I overgive? Maybe I should add more extras. Is it because I'm too expensive? Is it whatever? Wow.
I've just noticed this narrative pop up instead of believing it as fact and then going to the client and be like, actually, I've decided that I'll make, give you half price and blah, blah, blah, blah. Because then again, it's operating from that lack and from that scarcity and that not enoughness. And then they feel it. It repels anyway. And so instead, it's like, awesome.
This has shown up for my greatest good because everything shows up for your greatest good. This has shown me where I'm operating in some form of, yes, lack or, yeah, scarcity. And amazing. That's because something so big is wanting to come through and I need to look at this first. Yeah. If something wasn't wanting to come through, you wouldn't need to have the awareness around it. Yeah.
Like that's why when people are even dating, they might move through lots of challenges or lessons in the dating. It's like, yeah, because your soulmate or the person that's waiting for you is waiting for you to evolve into the person that will meet them. Yeah. I love that. So it's like amazing. Thank you.
Maybe future client, because often when you do the work around it, they come or someone even better comes. And so it's that energy frequency and see that everything is a teacher. So it's like, wow, that person just taught me that. Yeah, I don't need to grovel or I can sit in the discomfort or I can. Yeah. You know, maybe you're like, OK, you could do some.
curiosity around something but it's not ever from a place of reactionary behavior if you're reacting like I always when I can feel like I need to react pause stop breathe what is this showing me what is the teaching here and then it totally again it shifts your frequency yes
And I think looking at things as those lessons, like, and when you said about the client, I had an interesting experience last year where a woman had jumped into one of my spaces and it was like, it was a really interesting experience for me because from an energetic perspective, I was probably surprised that she'd been drawn to me.
Like it was just a very different, like my first language is energy. So I'm just like, I can feel someone's energy. And you're super intuitive. I was meant to say that to you earlier. Yeah. And so I was so just like, this is really interesting that she has been attracted to me. It was just a very different energy.
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Chapter 7: What is the difference between fear-driven action and truth-driven action?
Anyway, I was very catering to her needs. There you go. And naturally, like, it blew up and it turned a bit sour. And I went to my – I could feel the energy, like, in my body. Like, it was really – it was stopping me from really showing up online and I was, like, questioning myself. But again, I was like, this is actually teaching me something.
So I went to my Reiki energy lady, who's also psychic. She's, like, phenomenal. Didn't say anything about what had happened. As soon as I laid on the table, she's like –
oh babe there's something here like you've had this experience like I think maybe with a client or and I was like yeah and she like fully called the whole experience it was so wild and she said to me like this is a really big learning experience for you and I was like
And actually that moment just gave me so much gratitude for actually going through that instead of being resentful or thinking I had to change the way that I showed up or change my offers or anything like that. It actually just gave me so much confidence that the universe was actually backing me because it made me step into my power more of like, no, I know what I'm teaching is amazing.
I've got the most aligned, beautiful people. And I think when you can have that perspective of this is yeah yeah it was yucky to go through like it was uncomfortable but it was such a beautiful teacher as well and I think that experience has actually just like skyrocketed this year because I was like more in my power and more in alignment with the women that I am attracting.
And yeah, I just wanted to share that because I feel like, you know, sometimes we can, I could have very easily taken the like, I'm not good enough. There's something wrong with what I'm teaching, but I'm like, no, let's just look at this as a beautiful learning experience.
And I think anything that you're like investing in self with, or even if you don't get the full, what you feel like it's a full investment out of it, there's always a beautiful learning experience. In these experiences. So like just trusting that.
And I think when you feel intuitively pulled to things and you follow that guidance and you can trust that it's either going to be something that will expand you or something that will teach you something beautiful, even if it's a little bit more sticky and uncomfortable to be taught. They're the really good ones. They're the really good ones.
And I feel like, and we've got beautiful crystal here. It's like you start attracting these types of clients afterwards. And I've come into your space recently and such incredible women. And I always think it's like a little bit of a training camp before the next thing needs to come in. And when we see it like that, it shifts our energy and perspective around it. Because if you went into the
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Chapter 8: Why is consistency more about energetic trust than discipline?
And in these moments when you're saying, okay, but if I want different, I have to do different. Yes. When Saturday is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. So sometimes it does just take this moment.
And I even remember when I first started my business, I was like, first time I started the Instagram and did my first post and, you know, to 20 followers and just like threw my phone on the other side of the room and was like, I did it. Oh my God. And I'd go and self-soothe and run to the beach and just be, you know,
licking my wounds but I think sometimes it just does you just have to back yourself and now I often will I love this practice of almost visiting your past self and like sending love and being like keep going because I believe that time is all happening now and time doesn't exist so it's like that girl that version is in it right now. Yeah. So yeah, sometimes you just need 20 seconds of courage.
I love that so much. That is so powerful. And I sometimes actually really believe that those very simple things are actually the needle movers. Like they're But like you said, you were doing the meditations, you were doing, getting the reps in on like the foundational kind of pieces. But then it's just like that next level thing that just pushes you that bit further.
And it's like that saying, like feel fear and then just go. Like it's so true. Like just taking that one moment of action sometimes, because we can get caught in the
cycle of almost thinking we're doing the things like I know I've been in periods where I'm like oh but I'm meditating and I'm visualizing but it's like that was also very safe like I was very it was a safe thing to do you're doing the nice things yeah and I was like cutting myself in the back like good girl good girl but it wasn't ultimately like shifting yeah
Because I wasn't doing the more courageous things. But when it's like that moment of just like seeing something or moving, it's like it actually shifts like literal timeline. If you want to shift timelines quick, do things you're afraid of. Yes. Because if you're afraid of them, they're important.
If, you know, if things are indifferent or you don't really care, then that's on, you know, that's irrelevant for you. But if something is scary... that means it's so important for your evolution. Wow. It's like, and what people think is that they believe their fear. So they think that the fear is actual reality. They think, oh no, but I meant to be scared about that.
That's actually something that is not, is going to create some form of pain or some form of loss in my life. Rather than seeing that the fear is again, like the guard for the greater, the greater manifestation or the thing that you're desiring. And yeah, the whole point of it is your evolution because by moving through the fear, you expand your capacity of what you can receive.
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