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Chapter 1: What is the main theme of this episode on burnout and service?
Before we dive in, I wanted to introduce you to our new space, The Expansion. If you receive from the podcast, just you wait until what you find inside. Because on the podcast, we just touched the surface. Inside The Expansion, you uplevel your identity, your energetic coherence.
your nervous system capacity, your ability to create, attract and hold easeful wealth, greater impact and evolve in your spiritual evolution. Because as you expand, your business reflects that. Gone are the days of cookie cutter strategy or one size fits all or Instagram hacks that you might see. If that actually worked, it would have worked by now.
So I know you've already done all the courses, you've applied strategies, and yet you've reached your energetic ceiling because your success is not about what you do. It's about who you become building it. So this is why I created the expansion.
And this is what has meant I have created a seven figure business from scratch, a community of over 30,000 people and trained and work with thousands of people all over the world. I started to see really incredible people doing so goddamn much. And that was actually taking them further from the place that they wanted to be. It was creating more hardship. They're addicted to the struggle.
And when I started to see that it wasn't about the external, it was who you were underneath it. So when you realize that there is something going on so much deeper, the spiritual laws, the consciousness, the codes that create your life, then you can actually lean in and leverage and you open the floodgates of opportunity, of wealth, of impact, of community, of love.
So this is your room where your expansion becomes inevitable. I'm so excited. So definitely go check it out and enjoy this podcast. Hello, my loves. Welcome back to the podcast. Today is going to be a solo episode with me all around giving, service, business, and not burning out.
Because a lot of people, when they start their business, they come from either a corporate career or they come from another type of career before they jump into entrepreneurship. And a And it was something that I was very afraid of. I remember when I was first creating Designed As You in this business here now, this podcast, the certification, the retreats, all the spaces.
I was noticing this narrative that I was, especially as a projector, going to burn out. And we obviously don't want to go into that hole of feeling lifeless, feeling like there is no color in life, feeling like there is no excitement. You know, burnout is not just feeling tired. It can feel like life just doesn't feel anything. You can feel numb to life.
You can be so bonely tired that you lose your life force and spark or that connection to that. And something that I've journeyed through and something that has been so important in my own relationship to my work, to myself, to life, is seeing that burnout is not the actual act of service or sharing or giving.
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Chapter 2: Why are people actually burnt out if not from serving others?
What is true giving? Now, this is a Kabbalah concept that has really shifted the way that I think, the way that I operate when it comes to giving and, yeah, showing up here and sharing. So I want to start with when I am sharing, when I am teaching... You know, and this is my chosen art form. This is the thing that feels most natural for me. This is the thing that I feel most connected with.
This is a thing that I can impact people for other people that might be through their art, might be through their design, might be through their creations, other types of creations, through their knowledge, through their wisdom. And what we need to think about when it comes to sharing and giving is the consciousness that that puts you in. Whatever way you share, there is no better or worse way.
It's whatever your life force, whatever you desire, whatever you find enjoyment in, whatever feels most natural for you. Even if you have some training wheels to allow that gift to come through or allow the transmissions to come through, I can speak to that in a moment, how we can still have resistance because... That's what grows our vessel. That's what creates a resilience.
That's what creates the strength through that. You know, if we just got blessing, blessing, blessing, blessing, blessing, there would be no evolution or growth in that. And that's what we're here for. It's to grow, to evolve, and we get rewarded with that. Not in a way where you have to necessarily earn it, but in a way that you grow to receive it.
So when we think about sharing in the Kabbalistic way, they speak about how if you are attached to an outcome or even overthinking or putting pressure on how other people receive it, it is no longer giving. It is then taking.
And how this landed for me, especially, was when I thought about when I'm teaching, when I'm on this podcast, when I'm sharing on Instagram, when I take my time to write a carousel that maybe take, you know, an hour and I could be more efficient if I just ran it through ChatGBT. But that's not actually the point.
When I am writing these carousels or I'm writing that caption or I'm writing that newsletter or I'm connecting with another person or I'm teaching in the certification or I'm recording a podcast, it is the consciousness that that puts me in.
The consciousness, the energy, the connection to light, the connection to wisdom, that energy of creativity, of love, of infinite intelligence, me like alchemizing my thoughts, putting things together, really thinking about how do I feel about this? How do I want to teach this? How do I want to share this? This can be applied for anything that you are doing. That is the whole point.
That consciousness is the reward. So instead of seeing giving or serving as an action, see it as a consciousness. Who you are when you put on that event. Who you are when you write that thing or film that thing or create that thing or make that art or speak to that person. What you tap into is the whole point. the light, the wisdom, the creativity.
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Chapter 3: What is the difference between true service and ego-driven giving?
And it just got me thinking when it comes to this Kabbalistic term of what is true giving, true giving is connecting to the light and anything that overflows from that is the whole point. And it made me think of another example when I was actually living in Spain and it was during COVID. It was during all the lockdown period. And actually we'd all opened up.
So everyone was up and out, but there was still a lingering feeling of fear. And, you know, if you were in Europe at the time, there was a lot of fear around this. And I can imagine lots of places in the world. So I remember I was driving along and there was a woman who fell down on the sidewalk, on the pavement. And, you know, instantly she wasn't with anyone and she couldn't get up.
So I've pulled over and I jumped out. I think I even like, I don't even know if I parked properly. I just literally jumped out of my car to help her up. And another man as well did the same thing. He was like walking on the other side of the road and he ran across the road. And then as we approached the woman, we were really close to like picking her up. She said, no, no, no, no, no.
Like, don't touch me. Don't go anywhere near me. Because she was afraid that maybe... We were strangers to her and she was afraid of COVID. She was afraid that, you know, this is the consciousness of the time.
Like it was actually kind of crazy to think about it now, but she was so afraid of like people she didn't know coming up to her, even though neither of us, I'm assuming neither of us, I didn't have COVID, but she didn't want us to come anywhere near her. Totally respected that. And then eventually she did need us to help her get up.
But what that was a message for me was that we always do and give something
from what we feel is right now the consciousness that I was in was I go help her I go help her and it's not up for me to say oh silly for not letting us pick you up or judging her for not taking that or thinking that I needed to control or doubting myself of like why did I try to help her no the consciousness of the light would go and want to support someone
And this has got me thinking about when we share on Instagram or you share on the podcast or you're sharing your work. If you are worrying about how it's going to be received from another, if you're going to be worrying how it's going to happen, you just won't do it. Like if I would know that she wouldn't want, obviously I then learned that and I respected that.
But if it actually came to what is the highest action here, it's to go and help. I wouldn't want to have driven straight past her and left her there. But at the same time, I can't be offended if people don't want it. And so, especially as a projector with the wait for the invitation piece or anyone, we never want to be giving unsolicited advice.
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Chapter 4: How does attachment to outcomes drain your energy?
And absolutely, you have a service and a business, but for me, I would do this for free, but at the same time, I know that's not of service to do it for free. That's important for spiritual beings. There has to be an exchange of energy, but at the same time, you're not doing it just purely for that, because then people feel that. People feel that desperation energy.
So when we see that service and giving is from, the whole point is that you become so obsessed with what you're sharing. It's that you're connecting with the consciousness of love, abundance, divine life force.
And as I said, when I am really honest or true to myself, my happiest moments are when I'm in my little cocoon, writing, you know, developing a teaching, then sharing it in my spaces, in the certification, within this podcast. That's where I feel closest to the divine. That's where I feel closest to God. That's where I feel closest to life force moving through me.
I access more light when I'm in that state of sharing than any other time in my life. Or when I'm connecting with someone, you know, we're sharing and we're talking about these things.
And so this is really important, especially for projectors, by the way, because the way that I see it now is this obsession or fixation on recognition is actually so to the detriment of a projector that they're worrying about the wrong thing when really they need to understand that the guidance and the wisdom that's overflowing from them, that is a whole point.
And if people don't receive it, that's so okay. Like if you don't make it about that, then you will be okay when it's not landing or it doesn't resonate with them. It's none of our business. I have felt most at peace and with my creativity when I make it none of my business how people receive my Instagram.
The most that I have suffered when it comes to growing my community or growing this podcast or growing my business has been when I've over-attached or worried to how people receive it. And I've checked all the numbers and I've, you know, oh, that podcast and blah, blah, blah. Like that one didn't do as well. Oh, that one did really well. What did I do?
And like, yes, there's an aspect of strategy, but not from the place of the energy of... I need to grasp, hold on and keep on recreating the same thing because that's not in your control anyway. That's what burns you out. That's what makes you resentful. That's what attaches you to outcomes that only create suffering.
When you make it about how people respond or whether they appreciate it or how the algorithm will pick it up or whether it worked or not worked, then giving starts to drain you absolutely. Because now your energy depends on reactions. And that takes you further away from divine consciousness. It becomes external. It becomes conditional. It becomes about validation.
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Chapter 5: What does Kabbalah teach about true giving?
Yeah. Like I just posted something on Instagram and I'm obsessed with it. I love the carousel I just made. I'm like, I love to read it. I've read it a few times and have enjoyed it. How it does is none of my business. And I like what I just know to be true. The less I check it, the better it does do. So your role is to focus on your consciousness and share from that inspired place.
Because when you do, you will actually magnetize more, but you will also feel better. You will be more connected because there's less attachment. Yeah. Yes, people will always be impacted. People will always feel seen and inspired and supported. But that cannot be the only reason that you give.
You give because giving itself connects you to the universe, how it feels when you're creating, when you're connecting, when you're teaching, when you're doing, when you're being, whatever the thing is, it's yours. And when you realize that you've actually already received the reward, the state of consciousness that you entered, that was the whole point.
And then you'll notice and I used to actually really get confused with myself until I really you know integrated this concept was when people would tell me certain things about the work they would be like you know thank you this really changed my life or this retreat really changed my life or that podcast totally rewired my brain all of these things.
I was, you know, it would feel nice to receive, but at the same time, it never felt like me. I never felt like taking credit. Like I never, it's almost like, thank you, I'll receive just because I don't want to not receive it. But at the same time, it wasn't me. It was you, you did that. But also at the same time, like that was just the channeling that moved through me.
And the less you attach to it and make it mean about you, the less it's flimsy if then people as well don't receive it.
Not because you did all the right things X, Y, and Z and did the right strategy and did the right hook and all these things. It's exhausting. Like it's not the external strategy all the time. It's the energy that's happening behind it.
And when I started to realize that the giving and the sharing and the serving is always at its most powerful when it comes from the heart and when it comes with non-attachment. And the whole point is the consciousness it puts you in.
I want you to think about maybe you've run a workshop before or maybe you've held a connection space or maybe you shared something that you were really proud of and it channeled through you. What did that feel like? You know, when you created that course, how did that feel to move through you? That consciousness is the whole point.
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Chapter 6: How can detaching from reception make you more magnetic?
It just naturally happened. You stop chasing impact and you stay connected to the light that's moving through you and then the impact will take care of itself. You are fully free. You are deeply connected. You're connected to the collective. You're connected to what wants to go through you. Because giving and serving isn't supposed to drain you. Think about it.
The universe is in constant giving and sharing. The sun is in constant giving and sharing. Nature is in constant giving and sharing. If it is draining you, it's probably polluted with attachment. You're doing it because you want someone to appreciate you, or you're doing it because then you'll be a good person, or you're doing it because you don't want to be rejected.
You're saying yes because you're people pleasing. I think that just takes more than it gives. When your giving depends on another, you are just going to feel burnt out. You are going to feel taken advantage of. And this is where we want to take this a step further. Even if your main focus is to serve others, It will not be long lasting fulfillment because it will always be externally dependent.
It will always be flimsy. It will always be next thing, next thing, next thing. You will always be a slave. Serve because the higher consciousness and the good feelings it puts you in. Like, do you know how good it feels to be speaking and sharing on a retreat? And that's not selfish, because then you overflow and that will always be of most service then.
We give because it transforms your own consciousness. You connect to the light, to wisdom, to infinite energy. But when you focus on who you are, the energy that you're in, when you channel, when you share, when you serve, when you give, that will always be eternal fulfillment. And you'll do it everywhere.
You'll do it when you see the woman fall over across the road, even if you're running late to get somewhere. You'll do it when you post on Instagram. You'll do it when, you know, like I can think of a hundred million, those little, they always talk about those little acts of kindness. And then you're in purpose in all moments of your life.
Then you move through the world constantly connected to light and you will serve better than you ever tried before. Because the trying was just coming from ego. The trying was coming from manipulation. Like I'll post like this. So you give me the likes, right? I'll say it like this so you come into my space. Like people feel that attachment energy.
But when you share from that full overflow, when you're excited, when you're lit up, you can't help but overflow. And you don't feel burnt out. You don't worry about algorithms. You don't numb yourself because the reward is no longer the reaction.
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Chapter 7: What role does consciousness play in the act of creation?
The reward becomes the act itself and what it creates in you. And then your energy is no longer dependent on outcomes. You then no longer suffer when you attach to those outcomes. You're not drained if someone does or doesn't receive it. You don't become resentful because you have no boundaries. And you don't become resentful if the algorithm doesn't pick it up.
Because the transformation already happened inside of you. You already feel the goodness. And then from there, you actually attract more abundance, more people, more all of it from that place. Because you're creating in a way that feels expansive. You're a clearer channel for life force, for love, for abundance.
your energy shifts and therefore light infinitely enters your body and that's when you magnetize. So the real question isn't how do I avoid that burnout or should I not do these things? Should I not step into this purpose or this mission? And just actually asking yourself, what is actually burning you out?
For me, all of the expectation, all of the validation, all of the recognition, all the outcomes, and then you're focusing your energy on that.
And so you end up just, you know, trying to create viral things or you try and do what you think other people want from you and it's not a pure channel and then it doesn't even work and then people get even more frustrated than they think it's something wrong with them. When it's like, stop all of that shit and connect to source. Connect to what you actually care about.
What do you actually want to talk about? Give the value that wants to move through you. Don't hoard anything. Share. Share like what authentically wants to move through you. That value that comes through you. People want to feel that connection to life force through you. So try it out for size. How would it look when you released all of the attachments?
So let's get some really big ones, like release checking your numbers constantly. Like that is ridiculous behavior to be constantly checking your numbers, to be looking at how many of the views, followers, all of those things. It is not scorekeeping.
and as well notice where these stories of like perfectionism perfectionism is always really that's what exhausts people like constantly rewriting posts or delaying launches delaying things because you're like i need to be more ready i need to do this again i need to refresh this or over editing things or constantly thinking like what will other people think like if a lot of people as they're like sharing they're thinking about like the one person that they worry will think about it and i'll actually give you like a little thing you know that song
I don't care. I love it. That's how I've been. Like, I literally envision that song in my head of like, I don't care. I love it. I don't care. I love it. I'm not going to sing for you because, look, singing is not a strong suit. But I don't care. I love it. I just sing that song in my head. I don't care. I love it.
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Chapter 8: How can you reconnect to your work to avoid burnout?
Off you go, out you go, onto the next thing. I'm in the consciousness of sharing and that felt true for me and that came through for me. And then you don't have to worry about consistency because if you're constantly tapped into life force, you're never going to be, you'll never not have something to be or share. And that doesn't mean you have to post every day. Absolutely not. Yeah.
But the things that is exhausting about it is the constant perfecting, the constant rewriting, the constant judging. If you just like did it, let it out, you'd move on to the next thing. That constant analysis, instead of just letting your intuition guide you. You know, this whole constantly overanalyzing. And then the mind becomes louder than your life force. And it just is suffering.
It's just suffering. It's like if you didn't do it like that, you would have wished, oh, I did it the other way. And then if you did that other way, you should have seen, oh, I should have done it the other way. Like you can't win. Entrepreneurs are making hundreds of small decisions daily. So you need to allow yourself to just follow your intuition, back yourself.
There's a bigger energy happening and we can't over plan everything. Yes, you can have your vision. Yes, you take steps forward, but you trust and know that you will be provided in ways that don't make logical sense in ways that you can't map out, you know, how that came in or what that did.
Like, you know, you don't know how that client will just stumble across your podcast, feel so connected and instantly sign up to your space. You can't control that. But what can you control? You share. You give from that higher consciousness so that it's tantalizing. They can't take their eyes off of you or they want to learn more from you.
But you just do it from genuine overflow, genuine excitement, genuine care. I just have my beautiful friend Maddie. She made a pivot in her business. She's a 4-6 projector and she listens to this podcast. And... She started to create really intimate, incredible dinners for like-minded women and she brings speakers in and it's just all beautiful and you feel her energy in it.
And she instantly sells out these dinners because it's so authentic to her. It's what she does in real life. She brings people together in real life. I've met incredible women through Maddie. She's created this beautiful like girl group that we just support each other and we celebrate each other and we're all so close so quickly. And it's because she's just in her divine alignment, right?
So let sharing be transformational sharing, transformational serving. It's actually got nothing about the other. If you're constantly feeling like I need to appease others, how am I going to help other people in a bigger way and all of the things? It's micromanaging. It's the ego's way of thinking that it's like all on you. No, it's the universe moving through you.
No, it's the universal connection. People feel like they don't want to step up for more responsibility or bigger roles and things like that because then they're going to have to hold that. No, let the divine hold it. Let the divine through you hold it. That's where you're going to be at your most powerful. That's when you're going to be at your most magnetic.
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