Dhru Purohit Show
How to Rewire a Fearful, Judgmental, and Stressed-Out Mind into One Rooted in Freedom and Presence with Joe Hudson
Wed, 04 Jun 2025
This episode is brought to you by Bon Charge, LMNT, and BiOptimizers. Did you know that your judgmental thoughts—about both yourself and others—could be contributing to unhappiness, blocking joy, and even affecting your health? Most people don’t realize that these thoughts often stem from a fear of fully feeling and embracing the emotions that arise in certain situations. When we avoid those emotions, we remain stuck in patterns of judgment and disconnection. Today’s guest is here to help us break free. Today on The Dhru Purohit Show, Dhru sits down with Joe Hudson to explore how judgment, whether directed outward or inward, influences our thoughts, relationships, and overall well-being. Joe shares what leads us to have judgmental thoughts, the initial high it brings, and the vulnerable feelings that it covers up. Joe also shares the roadblocks that hold us back from being exactly who we want to be, as well as the common pattern of self-reliance, abandonment, and shame. It’s time to drop the judgment and reclaim your freedom. Dubbed “the coach behind Silicon Valley’s unicorn CEOs,” Joe Hudson is one of the most in-demand mentors to top leaders at OpenAI, Apple, Alphabet, and beyond. With a background in venture capital and over 25 years of deep work across psychology, neuroscience, and contemplative traditions, Joe has crafted a radically different path to personal growth—one that goes far beyond traditional self-help. His approach rewires how people relate to themselves, dissolving internal blocks and unlocking sustainable high performance rooted in ease, clarity, and joy. In this episode, Dhru and Joe dive into: How self-judgment impacts our well-being and emotional regulation (00:15) Why judging others feels good, the inner voice, and the impact of negative self-talk (5:16) Are our judgmental thoughts contributing to physical disease in the body? (14:58) Joe's personal journey and what he internalized from childhood (18:18) Why the inner voice in your head is often wrong (24:13) Judgment, shame, and guilt as key drivers of stress (30:51) How do you want to be right now? (35:07) How to deal with internal resistance (42:57) The connection between abandonment and self-reliance (44:35) Understanding the pattern of abandonment and how to address it (51:95) Receiving unconditional love and building unconditional relationships (56:40) An introduction to The Matrix Protocol (1:08:15) What it means to live in the compassionate truth (1:20:12) The hidden “protocol” of unhappiness (1:24:47) Gratitude moments and shifting from lack to love (1:33:04) How stress, lack of enjoyment, and negative self-talk threaten our well-being (1:43:31) Where to find Joe’s work and resources (1:49:57) For more on Joe, follow him on Twitter, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, and his Website. This episode is brought to you by Bon Charge, LMNT, and BiOptimizers. Right now, Bon Charge is offering my community 15% off; just go to boncharge.com/DHRU and use coupon code DHRU to save 15%. Right now, LMNT is offering my listeners a free sample pack with any purchase. Head over to drinkLMNT.com/dhru today. Go to bioptimizers.com/dhru now and enter promo code DHRU10 to get 10% off any order of Sleep Breakthrough and find out this month’s gift with purchase. Sign up for Dhru’s Try This Newsletter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: How do judgmental thoughts affect our well-being?
Joe, welcome to the podcast. I've so enjoyed diving deep into your work over these last couple of months. Shout out to Tom. And I'd love to start off on the topic of judgment. You know, most people have no idea that their thoughts about judgment towards themselves or others is driving a huge part and one of the biggest contributors of unhappiness, stress, disease, that they feel on a daily basis.
Yeah.
In fact, you've shared, I'd love to share a little quote from you.
Please, yeah.
One of the things you'll notice is that the more judgmental a person is, the less they feel good about themselves. So the big question is, if the judgmental voice inside of all our heads, I'm guilty of it as well too, is such a driver of stress and lack of enjoyment, why are we all so addicted to it? Yeah.
So the way I look at the mind is that I see three minds. Not that there are, but because I find it useful. So we have the prefrontal cortex, which is the human intellectual mind. Then there's the emotional center, which is the mammalian mind. And there's the nervous system, more reptilian mind. And so... You're talking about the prefrontal cortex, but they all dance together.
And so I think one of the main reasons outside of it was really useful to be able to check ourselves for mistakes when we were hunting and gathering. But one of the main reasons is to not feel emotions. So every time that you're judging yourself or somebody else, there's an emotion underneath that you don't want to feel.
And so if you say to yourself in that moment, oh, if I couldn't feel this judgment, if I couldn't be judgmental, what would I have to feel at this moment? There's always an emotion underneath there that your body is trying to push against. And so the reason that the judgment makes you miserable is because you're pushing down emotional experiences.
And I was saying that is joy is the matriarch of a family of emotions, and she won't come into a house if her children aren't welcome. And so that joy comes from being able to feel and love all of your emotional experiences. That doesn't mean being taken by them, but it means love and feel them. And there's a ton of science behind the stress and the pain of not feeling into your emotions.
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Chapter 2: What are the underlying emotions behind judgment?
I want to chat about your story in a moment here, but do you think that these judgmental thoughts are, besides just psychologically tormenting us, are they a big driver of actual physical disease in the body? Most of us do not have a ton of extra time for more than a few basics every day.
It can be hard enough to try to cook and eat healthy three times a day, work out, get your protein in, and get all of our work done at the same time. By the time 8 p.m. rolls around, I just wanna relax and wind down for bed, maybe get some stretching in.
what if I told you that there was an easy, relaxing way to support your health while you're watching your favorite TV show, reading, meditating, or just chilling out at the end of the day? It's called the Bond Charge Red Light Face Mask, and it effortlessly fits into your day. Just 10 to 20 minutes a day supports your skin health in so many ways. Here's the great thing about the Bond Charge Mask.
It combines red light, and near infrared light in one sleek, lightweight device to stimulate collagen, elastin, and overall skin repair naturally. It stays cool on your face and feels comfortable to wear with no heat or irritation like some other treatments. The design makes it simple to switch between red light and near infrared light modes depending on your needs.
It's also HSA and FSA eligible, making it easier to save up to 30% tax-free, and it's backed by a 12-month warranty with worldwide shipping available. Bond Charge isn't just about red light therapy. They also offer science-backed wellness tools like low blue light bulbs, infrared sauna blankets, and blackout sleep masks.
Right now, Bond Charge is offering my community 15% off their red light face mask. Grab yours today. Just visit Boncharge.com slash Drew and use the code Drew at checkout. That's Boncharge, B-O-N-C-H-A-R-G-E dot com slash D-H-R-U. And don't forget to use the code Drew, D-H-R-U to save 15% off today.
It's time to stack Boncharge's mask into your nightly routine and let the benefits add up effortlessly. You know, when I think about summers growing up with my sisters and my family, I think about hanging out at the beach, drinking lemonade, and eating, yes, fries.
Well, now, I don't eat fries anymore, unless they're cooked without seed oils, but I am missing that nostalgic lemonade taste without the sugar crash that I experienced as a kid. That's why I'm super pumped to tell you about Element's new Lemonade Salt flavor. It's salty, it's tardy, it's refreshing, and exactly what your body needs after a workout, walk, or a long day in the sun.
I especially love Element after my tough workouts or a sauna session because I know I'm losing a lot of electrolytes when I sweat. Replenishing with the right electrolyte mix is essential to keeping my brain and body sharp and performing at my best. but most options are loaded with sugar and unnecessary additives.
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Chapter 3: How can we break free from self-judgment?
Like I had to perform. I couldn't be wrong. That kind of thing.
If somebody could see during this time period, which I know spans a little bit, if they could read those thought bubbles above your head of your inner voice, especially when it came to achievement, what were those bubbles voicing?
That was stupid. Why did you do that? What's wrong with you? Like it was, there was a constant negative self-talk editing and monitoring my life. It was just perpetual. Constant. Yeah. It makes me sad just thinking about it. I haven't, you know, for whatever reason that, that there is a place where the, the, that negative self-talk can just stops happening.
And that occurred for me like right around 36, 37 years old. So I spent like from 25 to 35 just chasing, going into debt and chasing every single modality that I could chase to find different tools and ways out of my predicament. And seven years were mostly meditating in a room.
At one point in time, the insight in your journey came that led to one of the things you talk about when it comes to this inner voice, which is that I'm paraphrasing here because I don't have the quote in front of me, but the inner voice in your head, the critical inner voice in your head is always wrong.
It's always wrong. Yeah, yeah.
A lot of people will hear that. The inner voice in your head is always wrong. And even people who are pretty into self-development and spend a lot of time reflecting or thinking about stuff, they probably have to sit with that for a second and say, okay, let me think. Is it always wrong?
Yeah.
Dive into that a little bit for us.
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Chapter 4: What role does childhood play in our judgmental patterns?
Chapter 5: How can we deal with internal resistance?
Just when you're responding to the negative self-talk differently, just having a different response to it. That would be one response.
So the other version of that would be somebody judging themselves for even having the thought like I'm judging myself for being too judgmental. Right. Right.
Chapter 6: What is the connection between self-reliance and abandonment?
Yes.
That's another version.
That will stick the judgment.
That will keep the judgment in place. But what you're saying is that an acknowledgement, something met with love.
Yes.
that also allows you to feel?
It will allow you to feel, yes. A, it will allow you to feel, and B, it's letting you know that you're safe. So a lot of the time that's negative self-talk happened because when we're a kid, we think we're responsible for the world. So if mom doesn't love us or doesn't attune to us, must be something we did.
And so we're constantly telling ourselves, okay, if I do this, if I do this, the world will be right. I'll get it right. I'll finally like manage everything so that it works out. And what we needed as a kid and what we still need is someone saying, I got you. I'm here. I love you.
Yeah. You can feel your feelings fully. I love you.
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Chapter 7: What is The Matrix Protocol?
Chapter 8: How can we cultivate unconditional love in relationships?
I love you. Everything's okay.
Yeah. I'm right here with you. So it's a reparenting of sorts. But that'll change things a lot quicker then. How do I change? What do I do? How do I get better? Okay, I've got to stop that thing. Okay, so now how do I stop talking to myself like that? That is a very long, tedious road. I know, I took it. It's hard.
I want to chat about your story in a moment here, but do you think that these judgmental thoughts are, besides just psychologically tormenting us, are they a big driver of actual physical disease in the body? Most of us do not have a ton of extra time for more than a few basics every day.
It can be hard enough to try to cook and eat healthy three times a day, work out, get your protein in, and get all of our work done at the same time. By the time 8 p.m. rolls around, I just wanna relax and wind down for bed, maybe get some stretching in.
what if I told you that there was an easy, relaxing way to support your health while you're watching your favorite TV show, reading, meditating, or just chilling out at the end of the day? It's called the Bond Charge Red Light Face Mask, and it effortlessly fits into your day. Just 10 to 20 minutes a day supports your skin health in so many ways. Here's the great thing about the Bond Charge Mask.
It combines red light, and near infrared light in one sleek, lightweight device to stimulate collagen, elastin, and overall skin repair naturally. It stays cool on your face and feels comfortable to wear with no heat or irritation like some other treatments. The design makes it simple to switch between red light and near infrared light modes depending on your needs.
It's also HSA and FSA eligible, making it easier to save up to 30% tax-free, and it's backed by a 12-month warranty with worldwide shipping available. Bond Charge isn't just about red light therapy. They also offer science-backed wellness tools like low blue light bulbs, infrared sauna blankets, and blackout sleep masks.
Right now, Bond Charge is offering my community 15% off their red light face mask. Grab yours today. Just visit Boncharge.com slash Drew and use the code Drew at checkout. That's Boncharge, B-O-N-C-H-A-R-G-E dot com slash D-H-R-U. And don't forget to use the code Drew, D-H-R-U to save 15% off today.
It's time to stack Boncharge's mask into your nightly routine and let the benefits add up effortlessly. You know, when I think about summers growing up with my sisters and my family, I think about hanging out at the beach, drinking lemonade, and eating, yes, fries.
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