Best of Wade: Part 1 (Compilation)
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What is the “Best of Wade” compilation and how does the episode begin?
This episode of Distractable is presented by T-Mobile 5D Home Internet. Okay. How do you guys know when someone's really your friend?
I
don't know. I don't know. But
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Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5D internet data exclusions like taxes and fee supply service delivered via 5D network speeds vary due to factor affecting cellular networks. Guarantee exclusions details at tmobile.com slash home internet. Back through the vaults we hunt for wondrous escapades. It's time for Best of Wade Part 1. And I'm BURGE!
I don't know why I did that. Oh my god, is that Guru Stefan? Guru and Harold's bald cousin?
I don't know what happened to me there. I was possessed. I'm haunted. Man, get ready for that to be quoted for a very long time.
I'm gonna make that a a notification sound on my phone. What was it? What was your title, Wade? Rock Rock Rockabye.
Rockaby Bobby. Oh that sounds sweet. That sounds calming. Yeah. Already that sounds calmer than what Mark had going on. Well So my thought process is is if you're an infant, like what are you gonna really remember from this talk other than maybe like some sing songgy little lullaby? So I wrote you a little lullaby. Oh beautiful. Oh wow. That hopefully will stick with you for life. Oh, okay. All right. So I'm just gonna sing it to you. You ready for some cringe, everyone out there? Oh do it. Rock by Bobby on the tree top Mommy is dead, but you still have pops. Now
that
she's
gone the money go by so sleep little Bobby so papa can cry. And when you wake,
Pa will still be sad. So grow up and deal, cause that's life with dear dad.
Wow. Oh that's your first life lesson? I'll take my L, Bob. I'll take my L.
I had so little expectations coming into this at fuck Did not see that coming.
Do
I need to repeat what the game we're playing is? I pretty much got it, I think. I'll get the I'll get all the questions correct and Wade will make all the noises and it'll be a tie. All right. It may it may be difficult. It may be difficult. All right, hold on.
Ha
ha ha ha.
Is the whole thing one animal?
Yeah, no, that's goats. That's what goats sound like. I got that one.
Holy shit. I have to do an impression now, is that right? You could also abstain if you don't want to hurt your voice or anything. Okay. All right.
I think Wade gets it for the horrified scream and the discrepancy between the two. It truly is I can't even do it. He did great.
How does Wade’s “lullaby” segment start and what is the story behind it?
Okay, so what's the we have to describe this as if we are old? Or as an old person would No, where you're getting older. So each one of you would have to explain it older than the other one. You are going to explain how to boil an egg. Uh turn on the stove, set your pot there. Uh oh shit, forgot water. Uh uh go fill up with water at the sink, put it back on the stove. Uh you wait for the bubbles, put in your egg, wait till whatever Google tells you to wait for. Turn off the heat, take it out, dump your water, and uh wait for your egg to cool. What was that our age? I figured talking about Google, maybe like you know, twenties. Yeah, no, that that works. I think that works. Wade older. And what we used to do is gather some sticks.
Uh Put 'em together. And uh Uh uh you have to light 'em. Uh you get some little leaves and stuff, you light 'em. And you get your kettle and you put it on top of there. Uh make sure you take it down to the uh crick and get some water. Uh Um the egg uh is in there and the water's hot. Yeah, you can eat it. Was that old? I
handed an egg to Jesus himself. And I swear, he touched it, he handed it back, the shell came off, and it was jelly-like! So I hate it! Jesus made that egg! So good!
Somehow we got seasonings inside the egg!
On the seventh day I was supposed to rest. But this fucking idiot just ate my apple. I guess uh I don't know what the fuck that thing is, but let's make it youth edible.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the “Best of Wade” compilation and how does the episode begin?
0:00–3:49
2
How does Wade’s “lullaby” segment start and what is the story behind it?
3:49–8:27
3
What crazy pet‑care advice does the crew give and why does it matter?
8:27–12:12
4
Which mysterious animal sound are the hosts trying to identify?
12:12–16:59
5
How do the hosts humorously explain photosynthesis?
16:59–22:12
6
What is the bizarre road‑construction story and why is it funny?
22:12–27:25
7
Why do the hosts obsess over coffee and how does it affect them?
27:25–31:10
8
What controversial news about Elon Musk is discussed and how does it end the episode?
31:10–40:05