Buy My Thing!
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What unexpected event happened to Mark at the Oscars?
Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible. This illustrated episode, Wiggling Wade, greatest host of the generation, reinvents the wheels of commerce. Balderdash Bob has his house communally pebble-dashed, requests short stories, and treads in shit. Masturbating Mark evades the red rug, draws snipers, tartypoos, dicks, and Zordon, then gets dusty with eight hot rings. From badger beards to range masters. Yes. It's time for Buy My Thing. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Distractible. I am today's host because I'm bald and bald people have rights, too. I found out. Joined as always by my co-hosts who simulated to disagree with that, Mark and Bob. Hey, what's up? Hey, what's up? How's it going, my haired fellows? Feeling hairy. Oh, hair-tastic. Hair-credible. Hair-rific. Hair-rific? I got my head shaved again, and I'm at the point now where there's so little color left when I get my head and beard shaved that it's like, please, please stay, stay little fella, don't go. just gotta cut the gray so that it'll slowly erode from a goatee down to a mustache i'm just gonna have this tiny little bit of beer it looks so bad it's just an outline of your lips i've always thought this was the best facial hair call it my extra smoochers wouldn't be a good look i have a little bit of like
A really terrible handlebar. Anyway, if you've never seen the show before, then I don't know why you tuned into this specific episode, but this is the one you found. I'm not going to explain the rules today because I'm tired and I don't feel like it. We're going to jump into small talk. I have a whole bunch. Something happened this weekend. And it's so crazy because we're doing one a week. So it's actually like this weekend was nuts. Actually, stuff happened. Yeah, that's fair. I guess actually when it comes out, it'll be last weekend. So Bob, do you want to go first before I hand over the... Yeah, Bob, do you want to... I feel like I have the opposite of what Mark is about to talk about. We set a record for the household in the last week.
I don't know. Household records existed. How many days have you ever gone with? How do I phrase this? where you had a dog or a baby throw up or poop inside the house. Our record is 10 in a row. Wow. I've got a cat. You didn't mention cats. Our record is specifically a cat. Cats can count. Cats can count. yeah keeter's stopped using his potty pads again so we've had i don't know how many days in a row but a lot it's been a minefield coming to my office it's been in my anywhere there's carpet you never know anymore your feet will tell you for either one or two lovely that sort of undercuts the dramatic storytelling i was building up there but no please go ahead it's not a fun tale for me Our house has been sick, and Lexi is, I don't know, an idiot.
And she, we can't leave Lexi in her cage anymore. I mean, she's not an idiot. She's old is the problem. And she gets too anxious, so we can't leave her in her cage anymore. Or she poops, and then she eats the poops, and then she throws up poops. Which is somehow worse than either individually. Wait. Yeah, that's not pleasant. And then when she does that, she then proceeds to throw up for like the next 24 to 48 hours because it was gross. Which I have to give her credit for. I think that's the right call. I think I would throw up too. Very gross. Very gross. There's an exciting thing that I'm going to talk about that is exciting for me and other people. And I'm only shilling a little bit here. Did you know the real good AI, the nonprofit that was founded by Mark and run by my wife, is having a writing competition?
I don't know if anyone who watches this or listens to this is a writer or fancies himself a writer. You should look into it, though. Realgoodai.org slash thescarytapes. Because it's a... AI horror writing competition and the winners of the competition are in some fashion going to be made into podcast episodes where they're going to be read and slash performed in a way possibly by us or other voice actors or that part's not set yet but the winners win a cash prize and also it'll be like an October podcast series.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What unexpected event happened to Mark at the Oscars?
0:00–6:36
2
What humorous stories do Bob and Mark share about their pets?
6:36–11:43
3
How does the writing competition with AI work?
11:43–16:16
4
What unique experiences did Mark have during his Oscars journey?
16:16–22:33
5
What funny moments occurred during the red carpet experience?
22:33–23:26
6
How did the hosts creatively pitch their products in the game?
23:26–24:39
7
What insights did the hosts share about their personal lives?
24:39–28:10
8
What were the final thoughts and reflections on the episode?
28:10–1:00:39