News Flash!
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
this episode of distractible is presented to you by t-mobile 5g home internet the folks over at t-mobile have some big news for you they now have the fastest 5g home internet according to the experts at ucla speed test so if you want the fastest 5g speeds with a five-year price guarantee visit t-mobile.com home internet to check availability price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply fastest based on ucla speed test intelligence data second half 2025 all rights reserved
Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible, this episode. Madding future Mark hates dicks, digs K-pop, trips balls, and plays Whose Line Is It Anyway? Weepy Wade tricks himself into tears, does his duty by his fluffies. assist in an orgy and with a billionaire. Bearmouth Bob struggles with understandable strain and gets a dirty nose full. From format genius to mushroom messiahs. It's time for News Flash. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Hi, and welcome back to Distractable.
How do the hosts introduce their unique segments?
My name is Mark Ipplier, and I'm here hosting this episode because I won last time. And if you don't know how that, that, that thing, that, that works, it's because that's the entire thing of the game. And I know there's probably one person who's been listening to this and or watching this the entire, probably listening to this, let's be honest. Let's be honest with ourselves. It's probably one of the listeners who has been looking at this slack jaw drool dripping out of the mouth, not understanding the concept of how the show works. The only reason that our longevity is still longevity is because we were geniuses when we made this podcast and we set out to make a formula that could be repeated repeatedly.
ad infinitum, even if we repeat the same episodes over and over again, and that everyone could find entertainment value in every single moment, it doesn't matter if they have eyes, or ears, or none of the above. They'll love this podcast, and so will you. And so you will. And so you do. Oh, look, it's one of the guys joining today. Oh, a fresh, beautiful face. I just come falling in from the top of the screen. The editors will make that happen. This is Bob. Bob stands at a lovely six foot four and a half. He's got a smile for days. He's a glasses man. Purple is his entire personality. It's Bob.
That's me. I wish I could be more purple. This is as purple as it gets. Ignore all the stuff behind me that's not purple. Or that doesn't sound purple.
Editors, put in the sound of purple.
Oh, yeah, wow.
And Wade, the human equivalent of a mushroom, always in the same place, persevering through death, despair, anything. You'll always find fungi where this guy is because he's such a fun guy. Wade!
What personal experiences do the hosts share about their lives?
Hey, Mark, phoning it in from Ohio today. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's funny every time. You too. Weirdly, you get a segue point.
Ha ha ha.
I don't know how you managed to get the segue point this early. I don't either. I don't know what I just parted. Jesus Christ, that's really... You are weirdly sixth sense about the topic and getting that, I think. Anyway, we got a fun episode for you today in that it is a new one, and I have no idea if it's going to work or not. So whether it's fun or not is entirely dependent on future me, and that's not me right now. So I'm not responsible for that guy's actions. That guy's a dick. And frankly, I don't like him. So if anything happens with Future Mark, that, you know, screaming obscenities, a lot of racial slurs could happen. That guy, not me, right now. Just gotta say that out there.
I don't like, from my perspective, when you were pointing him back at future Mark, it looked like you were pointing at me. Yes, you are secretly future Mark. Hey, man. Things get tough. Things really go crazy, man. You would not believe. Really thought Iron Lung 2 was a good idea. Mark, don't do it. Okay. Turns out nobody wants to see an ocean of hair. We ran out, so I had to donate my own. It didn't come back. Ew, an ocean of hair.
Don't worry, I pulled so much out, there was still a lot of blood.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–1:20
2
How do the hosts introduce their unique segments?
1:20–3:05
3
What personal experiences do the hosts share about their lives?
3:05–5:01
4
How do the hosts feel about their recent challenges?
5:01–5:47
5
What is the premise of the 'News Flash' game?
5:47–6:46
6
What are some of the outrageous news stories covered?
6:46–10:42
7
How do the hosts react to the news stories shared?
10:42–16:48
8
What conclusions do the hosts draw from their discussions?
16:48–55:39