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Distractible

Size Matters (Part 2)

15 Dec 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 19.052 Bob

This episode is presented by Panda Express. It shouldn't be difficult, and maybe it's a bit silly, but we've all been there. Sometimes saying I love you is just hard, whether it's your partner, someone in your family, a good friend. But when you order tasty, authentically cooked American Chinese cuisine from Panda Express, they'll know what you mean.

0

19.352 - 27.261 Bob

Because sharing some delicious orange chicken or my personal favorite, the honey walnut shrimp, that means more than words, right? So, have you eaten yet?

0

Chapter 2: What are the challenges of expressing love in everyday life?

27.742 - 30.405 Bob

Order now, or find your nearest Panda Express.

0

31.506 - 63.421 Markiplier

Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Mean Mark threatens a cull, talks evil equipment, then capitalizes on comedic contractions. Weakling Wade waddles with ass pain due to refurbishing, rolls on Mrs. Robinson, and gets formal. Bonhomie Bob generates festive Einstein Rosenbridges, sketches of Psycho, Pumps Gump, and Johnnies.

0

64.302 - 105.663 Markiplier

From Smell-O-Vision to holiday dates. Yes! It's time for Size Matters Part 2. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome back to Distractable. The only show you're ever going to need in your life, or else... Or else what? Death. Oh. Definitive. Well, I mean... Not definitive. Well, no, it's very definitive.

0

105.983 - 124.124 Markiplier

If it's not the only show in their life, then it's... It's death. What if it's not the only show in our lives? I guess we're all watching Distractible. It's death, Wade. The answer to your question is death. And yes, Bob, we are all only listening and watching to Distractible. In fact, listening and watching counts as two shows. Death. Oh.

0

Chapter 3: How do the hosts introduce the episode's main theme?

124.785 - 134.194 Markiplier

Ooh, that's a tough choice. So you better be watching with no sound or listening with no eyes. I guess I'd rather watch with no sound, because listening with no eyes, you have to remove your eyes.

0

134.235 - 139.059 Bob

I feel like you could get rid of the visual however you might choose, but getting rid of your eyes is the safest bet.

0

139.56 - 158.313 Markiplier

Yeah, safest bet. It's very safe. Yeah, the volume could pop on at any moment, you know. If it switches devices, like goes to your AirPods or something, then death. There's only one way to be sure. Anyway, for all of you people out there that aren't betraying us in the worst possible way that yields death, my name is Markiplier.

0

158.814 - 175.416 Markiplier

I'm here to be your host and guide through this beautiful experience. I know you can't see me if you're hearing me, and I know you can't hear me if you're seeing me, but if you have a friend next to you, and one of you has no eyes and one of you has no ears, then you're good and you can cover all the bases. And if you have a way to communicate to each other and get all the detail across...

0

175.396 - 188.209 Markiplier

That's good in my book. I'm joined by these two also collaborative competitors, Bob and Wade. I'm one of those. Hey. By the end of this episode, you're going to know which one's which.

188.75 - 191.953 Wade

No, they never learn. We sound alike, look alike, smell alike.

192.274 - 198.76 Markiplier

Indistinguishable. They don't even know which one we're married to. When the smell version of the podcast comes out, we're going to get so many more car crashes.

199.301 - 200.442 Wade

It sure will be.

200.422 - 208.17 Markiplier

Speaking of car crashes, the beginning of this podcast is off to a rip-roaring start, I can tell. I really chose the good bits for my hostings.

Chapter 4: What humorous anecdotes do the hosts share about home renovations?

748.353 - 752.819 Markiplier

You know why USB-B was made? Do you guys know why?

0

752.839 - 759.549 Bob

Because someone had a device that was too narrow to put a USB-A slot on? I honestly don't.

0

760.089 - 782.42 Markiplier

It's literally their solution to the orientation problem. USB-B, for those that don't know, it's the one that's kind of like rectangular, but the other way it's vertically tall and got a weird notch in it. So you couldn't put it in the wrong way, and it is... It's fine, but nothing uses it besides printers and printers are already the most useless piece of shit that you've ever used in your life.

0

782.48 - 786.806 Markiplier

So of course they would use the standard that nothing else ever uses ever.

0

786.826 - 808.839 Bob

No, you know what? You know what I've run into that uses a lot of that shit? Audio gear. I've had multiple audio interfaces where it was like it came with the cord, but it's like a three foot long USB A to USB type B thing. And I'm like, Well, I need it to plug into my computer, which is way the fuck over there. I need like a 12 foot long version of this cord, which doesn't exist.

809.32 - 827.393 Bob

But yeah, I don't know why. Printers and audio interfaces. And I actually do own an external hard drive that has a type B plug. But it's like the only one I've ever seen. Because most of the external hard drives have that really skinny one. What is that called? I don't even remember. It's like the really skinny one where there's like a notch off center.

827.433 - 837.833 Bob

It's like super, super, it's wider and skinnier, but it's a USB, but it's not a type A or type B. Like the two, the two side by side, but one smaller, right?

838.134 - 842.502 Markiplier

It's a, it's, it's, I don't know which one that is. That's a weird one. Yeah, but I know it.

842.482 - 851.138 Bob

We've talked about this before, but whoever is inventing all the plugs and shit, just give up and let everyone use USB-C. Holy fuck. God damn it.

Chapter 5: What is the significance of 'mom bestie' in the conversation?

1517.296 - 1542.094 Markiplier

Oh, Forrest Gump. This is a long one. Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. 17. Jesus. I know. So we've done a 17 before in the last round, I think.

0

1542.635 - 1552.603 Bob

All right. Mama always said, life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you'll get. 16. Technically, yes.

0

1553.185 - 1559.4 Wade

I love it. Wade? Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what's there.

0

1560.121 - 1569.095 Markiplier

Alright. That's 15, that's good. Actually, that's 14. You never know what's there. Was that it? You never know what's there? Yeah, that's what he said. Oh, you're down to 14. Okay, you skipped one. That's good.

0

1569.476 - 1575.045 Bob

Mama always said life is a box of chocolates. What's gonna happen?

1578.856 - 1585.44 Wade

13, that's great. Okay, I got it, I got it, okay. Mama said life's like chocolates. What's there?

1590.331 - 1599.123 Markiplier

All right. All right. All right. Okay. Seven. I think it's still technically there. Mama said something. You know, you don't know. I like it. Seven. We've jumped a bunch.

1599.804 - 1604.23 Bob

Okay. Mama said life's like chocolates. Choose wisely.

1604.951 - 1608.156 Markiplier

Mama said life's like chocolates.

Chapter 6: How do the hosts discuss the struggles of moving and unpacking?

1807.732 - 1821.017 Markiplier

It is I. I love your commas. Your friend? Your man. Your man, Johnny. Your man, Johnny. It's 13 technically. All right, Bob. Yours to lose. Oh, whoa. Hey, it worked.

0

1821.237 - 1825.605 Bob

Look at that. A hole in the door. It's me, Johnny. I'm coming.

0

1829.163 - 1833.575 Wade

Oh, whoa, geez, it worked.

0

1833.696 - 1851.114 Markiplier

It's like Morty just opened the door. We'll look out? What the fuck did you say? I'm coming in! It's me, Johnny! Oh, man, I think it was like 19 or 20 or something like that. Uh, wait, I'm not sure what the number is, but... Got more?

0

1851.634 - 1860.789 Wade

Dear wife, Wendy Torrance, it is I, Jack Torrance, a.k.a. Johnny, your husband, coming in through the hole in the door. I've got an accident! I've lost my mind!

1865.636 - 1894.388 Bob

Bye! I don't know why, but this time I'm gonna start with the axe coming through the door just to get myself back in the scene. This is getting too silly. You will not guess what I just had to deal with with those fucking elevators. A hallway full of blood? What the shit? Anyways, babe, I'm here. It's me, Johnny. I think, uh, yeah. Are we still communicating the message of the original quotes?

1896.123 - 1902.876 Wade

I don't know if the mood is the same, but man, the message is clear.

1902.936 - 1910.371 Bob

Does it still need to be scary? Because... Wade, I'll leave it up to you if that feels in the same vein.

1910.791 - 1918.866 Markiplier

I think I'd be inclined to give it. Can you surpass... I don't even know what the count is anymore, but I think it was more than yours. Oh, I've got this. All right, I'm ready.

Chapter 7: What are the humorous insights shared about USB standards?

2093.236 - 2122.645 Markiplier

Can you do that? The sound you made before. Yeah lemon around Which part love you in response to Bob saying that doesn't sound like your mom Very funny So adultery I thought was very funny to give you a bonus point for that in addition to winning Mrs. Robin, why did I write mrs. Robin Hood? Close enough. Yeah, close enough. And then chocolates.

0

2122.805 - 2130.817 Markiplier

So you are going into the final round with five points. So it is four to five. Bob, Wade. Wade is in the lead with one.

0

2130.837 - 2137.866 Bob

I would say you could add like quoted the most like movies or TV, but I don't know that we do that that much.

0

2138.487 - 2150.257 Markiplier

Let's do something a little out there. Let's say sneezed this episode. Let's say sneeze the most just in case more than one person sneezed. Gotta start keeping some pepper by my desk.

0

2150.537 - 2160.708 Bob

Yeah, just make sure you get those sneezes in there. All right. But before we spin the fun wheel, we have to spin the wheel that usually lands on three. Don't be one.

2160.748 - 2172.842 Markiplier

And it's three! It's almost usually three. Do you think the developers of this website know that we're using it and they weight your wheels in particular?

2173.396 - 2198.307 Bob

They're fans and they're just like in here manipulating it like, he's got the wheel up. Let's see. Let's make something funny happen. I hope so. It's been one of one. Best million dollar idea. I had the million dollar idea of letting all other forms of USB die and just letting everyone commit to using USB-C. I contributed no financial ideas whatsoever.

2198.347 - 2204.517 Markiplier

That is technically Bob is correct in terms of the USB industry must be a million, at least a million dollar industry.

2204.497 - 2211.706 Bob

I didn't pitch it as a million dollar idea, but I think that would be a million dollar idea. And I think everyone would really love whoever made that happen.

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