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Distractible

Solar System Tier List

27 Feb 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What innovative topic do the hosts introduce in this episode?

0.267 - 5.033 Unknown

This episode of Distractable is presented to you by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet.

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5.313 - 22.154 Mark

The folks over at T-Mobile have some big news for you. They now have the fastest 5G home internet, according to the experts at Ookla Speedtest. So if you want the fastest 5G speeds with a five-year price guarantee, visit t-mobile.com slash home internet to check availability. Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply.

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22.234 - 48.006 Unknown

Fastest based on Ookla Speedtest. Intelligence data, second half 2025. All rights reserved. Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible! this episode. Bathroom-loving Bob boldly goes to his buddies for their celestial selections. Wizened Wade gets brutalized by Pokemon and derides Pupita and your anus.

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48.626 - 76.782 Unknown

Mercury-hating Mark loves stalking, ends his rending rain, despises computer dick-teasing, and respects the moon but rips Mars. From sublime innovation to mystery orbits, Yes, it's time for Solar System Tier List. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

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80.423 - 99.486 Wade

Hello and welcome back to Distractable, a podcast on the internet. That's right. You've heard of podcasts other places, but have you ever seen a podcast on the internet? No, I bet you haven't. We're first of our kind. That's why we're so special here. We're always innovating. That's our hallmark. That's the show's hallmark.

99.506 - 112.387 Wade

We're always innovating, which is why today's topic is going to be so exciting and innovative. It's going to be something we've never done before. It's going to be unlike any previous episode you've ever seen of this show, and you're going to love it.

112.407 - 121.562 Mark

That's one thing I know for sure. It's from previous experience I've learned that you're going to love it, but not because we've done this before, because it's really good and unique and innovative.

121.782 - 140.666 Wade

Did I say innovative? It's innovative. I said that. Good. If you've never seen this show before, I'm the host because I won the last episode and this show is competitive. Competing for today's victory trophy? There's no trophy. Competing in today's episode will be the same guys who it always is when I host. It's Mark and Wade. Say hi, boys.

141.667 - 142.268 Mark

Hi, boys.

Chapter 2: How do the hosts rank celestial bodies in the solar system?

219.691 - 236.35 Unknown

It'd be nice if I could just blah, and it's there. And it's there, and it works. And there's way more settings than I would ever do on it. I haven't programmed. There's a whole bunch of pre-programmed stuff. But there's also like a little numpad thing, so it's where the numpad is. It's not quite as nice as a real numpad, but it works.

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236.37 - 242.456 Mark

But it could be a numpad if you so require. And usually I'm very against mechanical keyboards.

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242.536 - 253.11 Unknown

I hate loud clacking, but this one grew on me. At first I was like, oh no, it's got some clack, but it really doesn't. It's got... It's got this nice, like, soft... They call it thawky.

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253.49 - 265.187 Mark

Whoa! You can't just say that. No, that's a big word in the keyboard community. It's thawks. Yeah, it's the first one that I've ever been like, okay, now that... Usually I like my keyboards silent.

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265.207 - 271.215 Unknown

I don't want to hear them. I just want the mushiest, softest, you know. But this one, actually, I'm like, you know...

272.495 - 284.903 Mark

I think I actually kind of like that. That's the first time I've been like, that's pleasant. You like a little thock? You're thocking? It's a little, I think I like a little thock. Not a big thock. I don't want big thock. A reasonable thock. You're down to thock?

285.223 - 291.297 Unknown

Yeah, yeah. You know, now, you know, as I grow older, I find that my, my desire to thock.

291.378 - 316.592 Mark

kind of has increased a bit you want to talk you guys want to talk we're gonna circle we can all talk together i think that's interesting let's talk around and find out i don't know if you know wait you use stream deck is it the same is it just the regular stream deck software that just interfaces with the keyboard or is it its own thing oh yeah no you just use stream deck software you have to update it but it's it's it works on this and so that's pretty neat that's pretty good

316.572 - 332.175 Mark

Gotta get rid of some of these built-in presets because they suck. I haven't programmed my Stream Deck since I switched computers, so it doesn't do anything right now. I forgot about it until you just brought it up. It's been a while since that happened. It's not been that long. It's sitting here just staring at me. It says Stream Deck.

Chapter 3: What criteria do the hosts use for their solar system tier list?

341.128 - 351.121 Mark

Okay, well... Interesting. You know how I love my peripherals. Mark knows how to pander to the host, that's for sure. That I do, that I do. That's just a warm-up of my small talk.

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351.381 - 353.063 Unknown

I've got so much more.

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353.404 - 362.475 Mark

Wade, do you even want to try or just want to let Mark have all the small talk? I've got one, and this will appeal to no one but me and maybe some people out there, like three of them.

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362.455 - 385.861 Mark

i have found a new pokemon fan game pain experience it's brutal and it's destroying me this is not the the one you were playing in your web browser this is something else now yeah this is a different one this is emerald rogue 2.0 ex actually it's 2.0.1a if i'm being technical right now but Oh, okay. It's like, it's like a roguelite.

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386.101 - 402.272 Mark

So instead of like Pokemon where you wander around, whatever, like it has that, but you have like an overworld screen where it's like, you know, like in the old Mario games where you'd go to like move around from level to level, you'd like have the little like tan or whatever color bars you'd move around the little dots where the levels you'd move around, land on a level and pick it.

402.453 - 402.553 Unknown

Yeah.

402.533 - 429.452 Mark

So there's like a little overworld thing where you'll have like four or five choices or two choices or no choices like depending on where you're at in the the web and you'll kind of like pick oh do I want to go to a place that has a trainer go to a place that has Steel types go to this event that event and then it'll load you in you'll do the level I was playing on stream and chat had me do brutal difficulty and you basically have like I don't know name a random Pokemon a Meowth whatever and

429.432 - 452.699 Mark

With starting moves, crappy like Scratch and Growl. And on Brutal, the first person you fight has like a full team of six, basically, that are all like probably max IV, best nature, held items, strongest moves in the game. You're getting Earthquaked whenever all you have is like Mud Slap. It is the most brutally unfair experience, and I got annihilated.

453.04 - 475.042 Mark

In four hours, I couldn't beat, I think, two trainers on a run. I beat one, could not beat the second one. Sounds so fun. Ish. Or something. Again, this is brutal difficulty, but, uh... It doesn't not sound not fun. It was brutal. What did I just do? Uh-oh. Okay. Something either came unplugged or fell off or the cord... Something's... Everything's fine. Sounds fine.

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