Chapter 1: What warnings should listeners be aware of before tuning in?
Warning. This episode contains harsh noises that may be unsettling to those with sensitive hearing. And wait. Listener discretion is advised. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bald. That is all.
Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible! This episode. The coming Bob and mundane Mark put their pal through his paces, bringing white smiles to his brother's faces. As worldly Wade takes on the trials, grating strange unrighteous sounds, chewing small nuts and identifying cats, tonguing foam and surviving abject oral torture. From Spittlecam to saute stand-up.
It's time for... Wade's One Man Show. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
come with me and you'll be in a world of bald imagination take a look and you'll see your reflection if you want to view paradise
Chapter 2: How does Wade's One Man Show engage with the audience?
Simply look around and view it. Subreddit defend me. Do it! Wanna rig the game? There's nothing to it. Wade finishes his song early and suddenly looks scared. Am I not supposed to read that part out loud? No, you can read, yeah, read them out loud. You're good. Oh, still me. Is this still a song? I don't know the song.
But first, step into my mind for a world first view of my thoughts during literally every recording of Distractible ever. I should have read parenthetical singing in some of these, I guess.
Chapter 3: What unusual challenges does Wade face in his one-man show?
Yeah, you probably should have, man. This is the not singing one. The next one's singing again. Oh, good, good, good. Whoa, I can't believe where I am. Editors, recreate the Tunnel of Terror from Willy Wonka. 1971. Is this still from the song? I sang all the parts I know from the song. It sings songy, but it's kind of spoke. You don't know this song?
I've not seen Willy Wonka since I was like eight. Okay. All right. All right. Director's cutting in.
Okay.
Chapter 4: How do the hosts react to Wade's performance?
All right.
Yeah. I'll probably do it like that. There's no earthly way of knowing Which direction they are going There's no knowing whose points are growing Hope my bald head isn't glowing Is it raining? Is it snowing?
Chapter 5: What unique sounds are reviewed during the episode?
Boy, my hunger is a-growing! Uh-oh, now their words are slowing. So the danger must be growing. Are the fires of hell a-glowing? Is my turn here without me knowing? Yes! The danger must be growing. The conversation keeps on slowing. And they're certainly not showing the signs that they'll keep going. Quite right, sir! I am bald. Oh, there's more. Yeah, that's not it. There's four, yeah.
Oh, man, wow. What a great tunnel that was. Parenthetical singing for this? Nope. No, you're done singing. And that's how I keep on winning! Welcome to Distractible, boys! And, uh... Uh... Welcome, boys! Is it hot in here, or am I just bald? Anyway, very pleasant evening to all the gentlemen, the, uh, the, the, the, uh, Vagina'd people out there! That was a close one.
Oh, looks like I got some sweat on my lens. Oh well. Don't need to clean that. Ever. Just like the drop of spit I spat into the lens three months ago and has been there in every episode since. I can see it. That's true. This is not a joke. This is real. Sam, our editor, has been laughing at the same drop of spit that's been on my lens for the past 24 episodes.
And I've just never bothered to clean it or notice. Oh, I've noticed. Ha ha ha ha ha! Good thing that's not embarrassing. You've noticed it. You've never cleaned it. Sam told me about it recently and he was like, it's funny that Sam thinks there's only one. Wait, Sam, he has the exact moment the spit landed on your lens. That's been in every episode since he's noticed.
So play the moment when he spits and it's there.
and throw shit they throw feces the feces blocks up my pipe they come back up it's like oh somehow the shit's got in your air conditioning unit this is your fault sir you gotta replace the whole fucking thing how does shit get the ac unit i don't know because i guess this wrench is actually a screwdriver is actually a power drill which is we don't know anything funny thing about the tunnel of terror there actually is a moment where he just he's like blah it's just
i watched it to try to write down i've not seen it since i was so young i remembered like the first part i remember the tunnel but i do not remember the cadence of any of that it's uh they literally cut a chicken head head off a chicken in that scene i forgot that that is actually just there they do yeah that's pretty hardcore
great uh great intro well well written i was i was the the the gulp was not an action it was actually dialogue so it should have been gulp and then It's okay. They'll fix it.
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Chapter 6: How does Wade incorporate humor into his performance?
Sam will fix it. Take it away. Start the show. Hey, everyone. Welcome back. I had a horrible misfortune of having these two tie last time. At least the last time we recorded a real episode. It's been a minute since you guys have seen us fresh. We're fresh. And after a nice break, we're coming back. And I don't know how to intro this because I don't know what the hell is happening.
I don't know if we're doing a small talk. I don't know how I'm being punished. I don't know. Maybe it's already over. Who says you're being punished? Here, I'll give you a hint. I love tier lists! Woo! Oh, yeah! No, you're gonna love this tier list. Is Wade's secret tier list a cannoli? These images at the bottom, that's what you're tier listing. Oh, it's so small.
Okay, hang on, let me... I gotta maximize this to see. My eyes aren't good. Yeah, I would make the screen bigger, probably, so you can see it. I don't know what the first picture is. I'm guessing some kind of food or centipede. Then we got green drugs, a praying mantis, a toilet, a couch, made of... Is that styrofoam? Is this all fucking styrofoam?
In front of you, you'll see various forms of Styrofoam, all of which you will have to listen and review if you want to survive. Rate them fairly and honestly, and don't worry, we will play the sound again for you if you didn't catch it the first time so that you can give the most thorough review possible. There is no way out of it.
You can't complete your one-man show unless you review all of the Styrofoam in front of you. You can always quit, abscond the podcast, lose your status as the third of three equal members, plus the fourth. But if you leave, just remember, the subreddit will never defend you again. And we will simply find someone else who is even more bold and even more weight than you.
Good luck, have fun, and don't worry about a time limit. We'll be here as long as you need. That's what friends are for.
This is bullshit. That was such good timing, Bob. That was so good. That's what I was hoping would happen. Oh my god, that was so good. Oh man. The first three images give me no indication. I was like, wait, that toilet looks weird. That couch looks weird.
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Chapter 7: What tier list is created during the episode, and what does it include?
Why is that cat covered in... Oh no. Not only do you get to look at the visuals to rate these, they have accompanying sounds. And you know what, buddy? Since it's your show, we could start wherever you like. Which one you want to rate first? I'm trying to figure out what even some of the images are. Do I get clarification on that before the sounds if I have questions?
I'll tell you the name of it right before I push the button to play the sound of it. We don't need the sound of the cooler. The cooler's D tier. I don't want that one. Cooler first. You got it, buddy. Oh, why is there more? Yeah, yeah, gone. Get rid of that. I don't know if he got that. Wait, let me just make sure. Is the level okay on that? Because I can make it louder.
No, it doesn't need to be louder. It was so loud. In fact, you could turn it down. Yeah, a little up, actually. That was good. It was a little quiet on my end. Are you sure this belongs in D tier? Yeah. I don't know. We got a long way to go, man. There's a lot of... I'm thankful that that sound is actually, like, just on the cusp.
It's not quite the... Yeah, well, that's definitely the worst one here. Don't worry about it. I mean, I can usually drink out of styrofoam cups, so I guess we could put that in. Well, well, before you rate it, you gotta hear it. You can't. You have selected cup. Hold on. Who does that with their cup? What is that? It's sliding around the table.
It doesn't make a sound when you touch it to your mouth. It makes a sound when you... Yeah, no shit. That's why it's okay, usually. Cup can go A, I guess. A tier? Bold choice. Does that mean I like it, or does that mean it's better than the others? It means it's A tier. Okay, I want to get this one out of the way.
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Chapter 8: What final thoughts do the hosts share about the episode?
The very last image, the broken, thick styrofoam. That is my absolute fucking bane. Thick styrofoam is the worst. Alright, you've chosen the break. Okay, that one's okay. That noise is okay, but... Yeah, that sounds different than I remember. Wait. Ah, that's not so bad. Yeah, that sound is fine. Wait, make it louder. Let me hear it. I want to make sure we're getting them the fair. Yeah.
Here, let's just do it like this. There's a little more subtlety in it. Yeah, okay. It's like the breaking noise rather than the rubbing noise, so it's okay. I don't know where I want to rank that yet, because the image, D tier. The sound that you actually just played of it breaking, not bad. That's an S tier sound compared to the rest.
Okay, well, we can come back and listen to that more later once you've heard some of the other ones. Let's do the third to last, the ball. The ball? Big ball shouldn't be bad. Yeah, that's probably fine.
they doing to it they're rolling and squishing it like this okay um that the sound itself wasn't look at that a b b for ball i do not want to do the hat i hate the thoughts out of one of those on my head let's just get it over with hat you got it buddy oh That's a good one. Just imagine that sound coming right off where it's touching your head.
Yeah, because it's like it's on your head and you're doing a stylus like draw your finger around the brim like... I don't know if it shows, man, but I've had goosebumps since we fucking started this. It's killing me. Put the hat in D tier. Styrofoam hat is the worst fucking invention. It sounds delightful. It's insulative. So it can be stylish and keep you warmer or cooler.
Probably mostly warmer, I guess. Do the hand holding the little balls. Little balls shouldn't be bad, right? Oh, the small nuts. It's like the hand and then you squish them, you know? Thankfully, no squeak. It's horrible. Not good noise, but no squeak. Um, I guess toss those in B as well. Okay, yeah, you don't have to keep doing it. Sorry, which one? That was really loud. Which one did you say?
B, B, just get them out of here. Uh, let's do the cat. Cat? Cat noise can't be bad. It's just a cat. Cat with styrofoam on it. Oh, no, I labeled one of them twice. That's fine. Oh, no. I'm pretty sure. Well, you know what? It sounds probably like the small nuts. But like with a... Imagine there's like a meowing. It's a cat. You can't put it low. You love cats.
Just think about... Think about keeters. And then think about... Here Bob, but just out of fairness. Let me let me give you one more just so you can you be sure to have it It's I want to make sure that's a fair judgment on this. All right, here you go. Here's your first one.
Is this one a cat?
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