Chapter 1: What should I know about entering my 30s?
Hello beautiful beans and welcome to the podcast episode of today. It's been a saga to get here, a saga because I tried recording this yesterday and I record my podcast from home. There's many, many joys and sunshine and rainbows that come from that and also many frustrating moments like the 45,000 helicopters that decided to circle my apartment yesterday. for like 45,000 hours.
So I had to stop recording and we're doing another attempt at this. But this is part two of the Monday episode that you listened to last Monday. And this is all about what to know when you're entering your 30s, the kind of headspace you want to get into, things you've learned from your 20s and how you can translate that into something that's going to be
useful and actionable in your 30s, how you can enter your 30s genuinely being excited for it to be the best decade yet.
Chapter 2: How can I shift my mindset from my 20s to my 30s?
We're not trying to relive the 20s. We're growing from the 20s and experiencing new and more exciting things as we kind of progress through the next chapter, okay? I'm going to be talking a lot about that. I'm going to get you in the headspace of thinking about
Chapter 3: What are the important themes of identity and self-relationship in your 30s?
um that you know you know so many people that wrote to me because i did put that question box up and so many people saying i just feel like the good days are done or the really fun carefree glory days of the 20s are over and it just feels like it's a bit of a slog now and all that we're going to get out of that headspace altogether and i'm by the end of this episode i've got all these prompts for you kind of like journal prompts or questions to ask yourself kind of thing that you can write down or just answer in your head but once we get through all of that
I hope you are feeling really pumped and excited for this new era of your life. Okay. Also, if you hear like soft whining, that's Habib just choosing to have a meltdown in my office, even though he insists to come in. And then when I let him in, he then cries because he wants to go out. Okay. Okay, so last week, obviously part one, we did the first four themes that I'm talking about.
And this week we're going to do the next three and then all those prompts that I was talking about. So we've got theme five, which is identity and self-relationship. Theme six, your body, your energy, your health. And theme seven, the new rhythms of life. So things that you're stepping into, whether it be I'm starting a family, I've got a mortgage or investments or more intense careers.
children, marriage, whatever. Okay. So let's start with theme five.
Chapter 4: How do I prioritize health and energy in my 30s?
Now this is identity and self-reflection. This is who you are becoming internally in this new stage of your life. Now, the kind of questions that I got for theme five, I'm going to kind of rattle a bunch of them out that you guys sent to me. There were a lot of repeats, a lot of people in the same boat. So this is
where you are grieving your 20s, wishing that you explored more in your 20s, how you have confidence and direction in your 30s when you are already feeling left behind. We spoke a bit about that timeline thing last week.
Self-care in your 30s, what your priorities should be, how you should be feeling in your 30s because you want to look at your 30s as the time in your life where the identity begins to shift, okay, from this external validation to to feeling more aligned internally in your life. Okay. This is where you're really beginning to develop that relationship with yourself.
For me, I like to think that I had a good relationship with myself in my twenties and it was fine. It was decent. It was sound. There was a lot of like learning curves in my life, but I can say for sure, I didn't actively work on it and get much better at it until I entered my thirties. Okay. Now, This is really important when we look at all the themes.
This one is who do you want to become internally? And I think the most important question to ask yourself is what are my priorities now? This has to be a really conscious question that you ask yourself now. If you don't ask yourself this question, you're just going to be repeating more of the same from your 20s. What are my priorities now?
And I think based on my personal experiences and based on many people that I know in their 30s and also you guys who have written in, one of the biggest shifts that we have as humans from our 20s to our 30s is the desire to prioritize peace of mind. So I think it's really healthy for you to also make that determination, make it very clear and say, this is going to be my priority moving forward.
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Chapter 5: What new rhythms of life should I expect with family and kids?
I need to focus on peace of mind. But what does peace of mind look like? It is not wanting to be involved in unnecessary drama. Now, I'm not talking about the fun venting or the little gossip here and there. I'm not talking about that. I'm not a saint. We all dabble a little bit here and there into drama. feeling this way.
But I'm talking about actual drama where you're hanging out maybe with a friendship group that all they want to do is backstab each other. All they want to do is have one person who's more important than the other and leaving someone left out and pushed out. Marital dramas, family situations where every time you go there, you feel so stressed and overwhelmed and
and you don't feel remotely good about yourself every time you leave. Workplace environment, that's the kind of peace of mind that I'm talking about.
Chapter 6: How can I find balance between friendships and family responsibilities?
You know, not having so much on your plate, kind of trying to... So if you know that peace of mind is your priority and it's something that you can actually name and know what that looks like, then it's something that you can really work towards. And I think the reason why peace of mind really becomes a priority later in your life, 30s more so than your 20s or 40s,
Probably by the time I'm 60, my version of peace of mind will be so elite versus what it is now. But it is because of lived experience. I don't think I could have this realization in my early 20s because I haven't had that lived experience. And like I said, it will only get better as I get older. but it is valuing what is important versus what is a waste of time.
What relationships do I know based on experience is going to waste my time and wear me the fuck down? What jobs, even though I know maybe there's good points to it or good parts to it, does it ultimately wear me down? Now, there's a difference between peace of mind and trying to protect your peace of mind
and also allowing yourself to be and exist in high stress environments, but still have that peace of mind. I don't want you to think, oh, anything that causes me stress, get away from, get away from. We're not precious. This isn't about becoming precious.
This is about what is going to wear me down and wear me down emotionally versus what is hard work that I can face, that I can really work through and become better for it.
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Chapter 7: What lessons from my 20s should I carry into my 30s?
There are certain things in my life that are high stress, but they're not emotionally draining. They don't beat me down into this nub of my former self. Okay. That's the difference. Okay. Hard work, needing grit, tenacity, being put under pressure, working under pressure. There is nothing wrong with that. And I'm not saying running away from that, but we have to know the difference.
And that, in my opinion, is where peace of mind comes from. And it comes from ultimately how you feel as an individual when no one else is around. How are you validating yourself? When you start to realize what's important and what's not important, you start to learn how to begin to validate yourself. It's very easy to get caught up in the bullshit if that is what is in your awareness 24-7.
If you're always, let's say you're stuck in this friendship group, for an example. And you're going round and round and round. The dramas that exist in that friendship group can seem life or death. And I'm not trying to be dramatic, but it can. It can seem like, oh my God, if they don't accept me or if they, I'll die, I'll die, I'll die.
So I have to put up with this crazy bitchiness and drama and they didn't talk to me and they didn't mess with me.
Chapter 8: How can I effectively close the chapter of my 20s?
And it consumes your life. But if you were to zoom all the way out and if you were to maybe get a job offer in a completely different country or city and move and then you have all these experiences that expand if you were, you looked back at that really toxic friendship circle, you'd laugh. I'm telling you, you would laugh because you'd be like, wow, perspective is everything.
And I was telling myself that that's what mattered and that's where my, what I was worth, where my time, my energy, my emotions, everything was being funneled into this kind of drama. Now I realize that nothing is worth more than my peace of mind. So now that I've zoomed out, I realize that I'd actually rather be alone than entertain this shit. Okay.
And you can apply that to so many areas of your life and it comes from wisdom. Okay. It comes from wisdom. So I don't want you thinking, oh my God, I should have done this when I was so much younger. We all should have, we all should have, but we didn't have that insight. We didn't have that
i finally got so sick of it i've had it up to here and if you're watching the video version of this on youtube my hand is waving above my eyebrows i've had it up to here with this i'm done okay that is peace of mind and when we talk about identity and self-relationship what am i going to prioritize so separate to peace of mind which i hope every single one of you guys listening puts that one number one on your list you don't have to but that's my desire for your life moving forward
But separate to that, what's other priorities? And again, look at your 20s. You could be, if someone said, wishing I had explored more in my 20s, perfect. So you could say, I'm telling myself that I can't do that in my 30s because I need to be more responsible. You can still have adventure and exploration in your life in your 30s. It might look a bit different.
But I believe that there's always a need for us for the rest of our lives to have a little bit of adventure, right? in our lives. It can't just be all habits, all structure, all monotony. We need a balance of both. When we have good, for example, good habits and good structure and good routines in our life that make us feel stable, it allows us to have more flexibility to be adventurous.
And both feed into themselves quite nicely when you have a balance of the two. If you have no adventure, you resent your routines and you resent your habits and your structure. If you have all adventure, you feel very unstable and you feel like you're being left behind and you're nor here nor there because there's
zero stability in your life so we need to strike a balance with both so if you're saying oh I should have done more of this exploration in my 20s you're always going to want to have a bit of adventure in your life but what does adventure look like for you I know for me what I found fun and adventurous back in the day I wouldn't find fun now I used to thrive guys I loved I
I loved working behind a bar until 6 a.m. when I was 18. I was like, I'll never want to quit this job. It's the fucking best fucking thing in the world. Like, borderline hearing loss when I'd be walking home. The birds would be tweeting. People would be going on their morning runs. And I'm like, this is fucking unreal. Now I'm like, can't think of anything worse. Cannot think of anything worse.
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