Do You F*cking Mind?
The Reset You Actually Need - Day 5. Stop waiting to feel ready: Why action changes identity
15 Jan 2026
Chapter 1: Why do we often wait to feel ready before taking action?
hello my beautiful beans and welcome to the podcast episode of today um so this is day five of the the reset that you need mini series and if you are an avid watcher of this mini series on video i apologize for today because i'm only doing audio for this one
My day kind of got a little bit out of hand and normally when I'm not organised in a bit of a shambles, it's a lot easier for me to do audio than to do the full setup for it. And the reason being I'm recording from home and one of my twins is a bit sick, so his sleep is very disjointed. So it's a lot easier to just...
Pause and then start again and pause as many times as I need when you're doing audio only versus stopping the video, starting the video, the editing is a nightmare. And when I'm short for time, I need to cut my losses and we need to think what is the most important thing.
As long as I'm getting the content out to you, you don't need to see my face, although I'm sure you love every second of all my facial expressions and my arm waving.
the content is actually the most important part so I'm going to aim to do this all in 20 minutes if if the babies stay asleep but we'll see how we go anyway so we are at day five of our stunning mini series which I hope you guys are getting a lot out of the feedback is already great so thank you so much and this episode is about how to stop waiting to feel ready and why action is going to be the thing that changes your identity because we're kind of in this constant battle of
you know I can't just start where I don't where I don't have complete clarity I can't just kind of start where I don't really know what I want or if there's too much confusion you know how I spoke about you know on Monday where we need to change our state sometimes trying to find the solution isn't actually the solution if that makes sense so that also can be a hindrance if there's too much going on in your head then it's also hard to start so I'm going to be talking about when it is appropriate to start and when we need to stop kidding ourselves with all this planning because it's
planning is absolutely important so is kind of risk assessment so are all these things when you're moving forward i'm all about taking a leap of faith but it has to be strategic and it has to be kind of you know calculated risks as well okay so when do you know when to start taking action and when to stop sitting in that planning phase because if you're anything like me you can get really swept up and excited and stuck in the planning phase
for a very long time. So I know it looks like I'm someone that's always been a person for action. And overall, if I look back at my past, yes, I'm pretty happy with the action that I've taken. But I am also someone that very easily can get stuck in this planning, brainstorming,
Oh, you know, one day phase because it feels safe, it's exciting, it's that soft action that I talk about and it's not really the hard action.
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Chapter 2: How does action shape our identity and self-concept?
I say, I'm not fucking ready. How? the fuck can I be ready for something I've never experienced? And not only have I never experienced motherhood, but I wasn't even maternal. I wasn't even, you know, motherly with other people's children. It just didn't come to me naturally. Now, yeah, okay, I've learned so much and it's coming to me naturally and I'm learning every single day and it's awesome.
But I would say to people, no, I'm not ready, but I am ready for a change. I am ready for that next step in my life, but I'm not ready necessarily. I don't think you can really be prepared. Like people, oh, you know, have you mentally prepared? Have you? And I said, no, because I've just got to ride this wave. I think if I was in the headspace of, I don't know if I'm prepared yet.
I don't know if I'm ready yet. I think I would psych myself out more. People say to me, I'm very chilled when it comes to parenting, when it comes to the twins, I seem to be quite relaxed. And I think it's because I don't put the pressure on myself of everything has to be, everything has to be a certain way. I look at it as every day is a learning curve and I'm able to be a lot more present.
I'm able to be a lot more like really enjoying that journey as I go through it. Okay. So you can apply that to pretty much anything. Say you decide you want to be a writer. You've never done writing before, so you think, oh, maybe I should do a course. You might do a degree, you might do a short course, you might do something random online, whatever it is, however long the course.
So then you think, okay, maybe that's a good step. I'll embark on that course.
It sucks.
But while you're studying, don't kid yourself and think, oh, later, later, later. This is the time to start putting the feelings out. Start writing things. And then the next step is start writing things that people will read. A good one is you could start like...
something anonymous at the start whether it be a blog or a sub stack or whatever or you could join a group where people get together and practice their writing and submit it there because you know everyone's kind of in the same boat it's not like you approaching someone who never puts themselves out there and you're like oh they always judge me they're so
you know, critical and I don't even think their judgment's fair, they're just trying to shut me down. Okay, well then share your work with people that are in the same position as you, where they're being vulnerable, where they're whatever. And I'm using writing as just an example. But what are other things that you could do? Let's say you want to become really strong and fit.
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Chapter 3: How can we balance soft action and hard action?
break the ice and start a conversation. Then you're going to realize, oh, I didn't die. That wasn't the end of the world. So then you start noticing that it's easier and easier and easier to talk to other people. Another great one is you approach a complete stranger and you can just compliment them on their shoes, their perfume, how they've done their hair.
Their style in general, whatever, their dog, whatever it is, you start realizing I've been able to now initiate a conversation out of thin air. So I'm using this example like socially, but you can apply that to almost anything. But I do recommend that you start small. So then you start to train your brain. that these things are doable and I can talk myself out of hesitation.
The more you talk yourself out of hesitation, the easier it becomes for you to take action, the less you hesitate as your default option and you think, oh no, it's easy, I'll just take action. Because there are people out there that you know that never procrastinate on anything. They think, No, I'd rather do it now than later. I'd rather do it later. Why do it later when you can do it now?
That's something my mom says to me all the time. So those people, at least with certain tasks in their life, have trained the hesitation out of themselves for uncomfortable and annoying or boring tasks. So you could do it with that. You could do it with bigger things. You could do it with things around social anxiety, around having momentum to do work for something that matters to you.
But what I'm trying to say is you will train your brain out of that hesitation. And you might not completely eliminate hesitation, but you're going to notice that the more you do it, the easier it is to snap out of it and take action. And the real trick is to intervene as quickly as possible. Okay, so that's something that I want you to do today.
The kind of homework that I have for you today is we're going to have a list of the things that we spend too much time planning and not really taking action on, whether it's something we've never started or whether it's something that we've started but we're not seeing momentum because we kind of –
lagging behind and we're sitting in this planning phase that's step one step two you're going to come up with something that you can start doing to train yourself out of hesitation whether it be something you procrastinate on or whether it be like i gave the example of this you know social anxiety where you can start talking to certain people and you know approaching strangers and things like that so you and these are just examples obviously get creative and see how it applies to you
For example, let's say you're a people pleaser and you really struggle to stand up for yourself. The first thing before you say, oh, yeah, true, I agree. Before you go ahead and do that, you can put the brakes on and think you don't even have to not agree. You don't have to say, I disagree with you if you don't feel comfortable doing that.
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Chapter 4: What are the psychological reasons behind hesitation?
You could just sit in silence and say, okay. I'm glad you're telling me your point of view. That's interesting. Okay, good to know. You know, there's so many things you can say that doesn't mean you've agreed with someone. And already you start to feel better.
You start to feel, oh, I do feel like I backed myself because I didn't have to lie to get that person's approval or to get that person to like me or whatever. Okay, so this is just a huge bunch of examples. And like I said... Get creative. If you have an example that I haven't mentioned that you think is worth sharing, please comment on these episodes.
If you're listening on Spotify, comment below because I would love for other people to read those examples. I would personally love to read your examples and yeah, it would give me,
you know insight into how this is working for you guys so that is all for today's episode thank you so much for listening um and i managed to get through it all but i recorded the second half of this episode like way later in the day there were hours hours in between so good times very glad i didn't film it because that would have been a shit show and also it probably would have caused me to you know be a day late on on this whole thing so
Very thrilled that I took the executive decision to just do an audio recording. Anyway, love you guys so much. As always, remember, be kind to yourself, be kind to your brain. Don't take shit from anyone and especially don't take shit from yourself. Danke.
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