Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
You can get one of these if you move too much.
Okay, this is a one and done situation.
Oh, no, you'll be back.
If you're good, we'll put you on payroll.
Well, you got to put your headset on before we go there. To infinity and beyond.
Do we have to explain what we're doing?
I think so. But we don't know what we're doing. The Starship Enterprise is always going to places they say that no one's been before. So that's what we're doing today. We're doing it today. We're fixing to go. Should I get the background? I'm going to have a counseling session.
Cy, the other day, I'll just do the backdrop real quick. Before I introduce our guest, we're at Cy's house. It was me, Phillip McMillan, licensed counselor, and Cy was like, we need a counselor to come on and just talk about stuff. And maybe Cy has a few questions. No, no. And I was kind of like, well, Phillip's been doing that for 30 years. He's like, not Phillip.
And immediately in my brain, I was like, well, there's Scars Mom.
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Chapter 2: How does trauma affect parenting and relationships?
We've got to have Cy take a polygraph.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Because I'd like to see those things jump all up and down on him.
Do you have any patients that went to Nam? No. My dad was in Vietnam, though. He was a Marine and had pretty severe mental health issues afterward.
Oh, no.
Yeah. And also drank a lot to self-medicate.
Well, no, no, because most people say, well, was you in any heavy action? And I said, no. I said, but you don't understand.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
That doesn't matter. Mm-hmm. And I had a guy that won the Medal of Honor.
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Chapter 3: What advice does the therapist give for raising children?
Well, so far, Cy's the person I agree with most in this room.
No, no. That's just because I haven't said anything.
Here's the thing.
The kids of today have got a lot of crap to wade through.
They do. That's true.
I'm serious.
I will say, though, like a lot of what's going on, though, is kids are not connected in their home to their parents because parents are distracted by their cell phones or their jobs. Kids are not connected at school because, you know, COVID, they got pulled from school for a few years.
And what you're saying there is, it's isolation.
It is. And it's a lack of connection and modeling.
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Chapter 4: How do modern technologies impact children's mental health?
Yeah. My expertise is mostly trauma-informed parenting and then marital counseling. So like attachment and trauma, all those things around there.
Okay.
There you go. I got lots of questions. That's interesting. How do you raise Carter? And can I just send them to your house?
Y'all are doing a great job. Keep doing what you're doing.
Yeah, keep doing what you're doing. Carter's a G, man. He's a great kid. Y'all ain't doing nothing.
He's a great kid.
So if I were to come to you and say perhaps, you know, hypothetical situation here.
Because this isn't counseling.
Yeah, I guess. Yeah, it's just, you know, just hypotheticals here. Like, you go outside and you find your twin three-year-old boys TTing on their dog. What... That's not a learned behavior. What's that about? What could that possibly be about?
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Chapter 5: What insights are shared about community and connection?
Watch this kid.
Boom.
Oh, bud. Oh, bless. I did not laugh until about now. I laughed.
Did his brother tell him? It didn't look like he knew where he was running. I think he was looking down.
He wasn't paying attention.
He wasn't paying attention.
Yeah.
His little eyes were looking down, and him and his brother were running at the same time. That went on purpose.
That's one thing that most parents say. That's one thing that most parents say. Don't worry about it.
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Chapter 6: How can counseling benefit individuals without a crisis?
I just learned something. You know why I know about this? Because I was drastically concerned why they were so different. So then I got to nerding out and I was like, oh my goodness gracious. Like that's crazy, right? Like they've even linked some of this stuff to just like even in men's sperm health. Just you've got unhealthy sperm that make an egg. And so it leads to an unhealthy set of DNA.
I mean, it's crazy, man. It's wild. Like it's wild what they're doing with that stuff now. What they figured out in genetics is it's a lot more than just ACGT in your DNA. There's a lot more shifts.
Well, no, no. Like you said. Okay. When you look at all this, when it comes together, it's insane.
It is.
Okay. Because I look like when a woman's carrying a baby or two.
Or three. Or three.
you know, three or four, you know, that's just mind blowing. Okay. That everything still works and she's gained, she's gained 20 pounds right here.
So it's an experience.
We've never been.
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Chapter 7: What role does faith play in counseling and mental health?
But no, he already knows that. And there are already, you know, like he's surrounded by kids at church and extracurriculars in school that already have them. And he's just already made his peace with like, yeah, that's not gonna be my story.
OK, so I think that's part of the problem, though. All these kids are getting together and, you know, one kid's cool because he has a phone. And then you have to make your kid be like the one that doesn't. Hey, you're not that guy.
Yeah.
Well, I sort of told Henry, I'm like, our goal is to be set apart because, you know, we're Christians. And so, like, our goal is to be set apart. So, like, consider this practice of being set apart and it being uncomfortable and unfair.
for you and like sometimes you might get left out and that's okay but i'm also thankful that like we have families that have similar views as we do and other people have phones for different reasons they may have family situations or work situations where that's needed for our family that's not something we need right now and that's okay and so but it's not just it's not just a phone that's the problem like kids have ipads and tablets and laptops and all of those things
We're almost four years, no iPad. Praise God.
My kids do have iPads. We bought them last year. Henry is 11 and Hadley is six. They have little Amazon fire tablets, but we also have, again, I know too much for my job. And so like, there's no internet access on it.
It's all whatever y'all put on there, whatever we put on it.
And they don't know our wifi password. So they can't get on. So if we go on a trip, we have to download all of their Disney movies before we get on the road, if they're going to watch it, but we keep those in our bedroom. And they don't have access to any of that in the house without us.
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Chapter 8: What closing thoughts does the therapist provide for listeners?
So if you're stocking the freezer for grilling season, go check out Tri-Tails Beef. I know in Si's case, Christine loves it, which is just a... She doesn't eat meat.
She ain't a big meat eater, folks.
Yeah. Just go to tribeef.com slash... Duck. That's tribeef.com slash... Duck. Support ranch families and eat some dang good steak.
Because I know kids today, they call themselves furries.
Uh-oh. What? Damn, that was a weird segue.
No, no, because I've been sitting here thinking about that because, you know, Where did that actually come from? Have they been abused? I know some of them have.
But I'll tell you this. I don't know. I'm not super well adept on that situation. But just for like your knowledge, I do think the draw to any kind of community like that is that typically those are kids that have been very, very hurt. and they find a place that they belong. Everything for me that I've learned in counseling comes back to people are looking for a connection.
And for me, like for us as Christians, like we know what that calling and that longing in their hearts are, right? But people are, that's what everybody's seeking. That's what everybody's after. And a lot of times kids that are struggling can find that community and can find that belonging in places that may not be the healthiest But they belong somewhere. You know what I mean?
And so, like, that's the draw. It's like kids want to move.
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