#579 - Pad Cymru, Human Alps and A Constant Perma-Rolling Crisis
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Before you start this episode, we want to invite you along to the adventures of Elis and John.
If you head over to patreon.com/slash Elis and John, you can join us on our monthly escapades, including Mini Olympics. It's the strangest legal jump in the history of long jump.
Birdwatching. My two favourite things are birds of football. Retaking our driving tests.
I am chock full of adrenaline. Yeah, it's absolutely horrible. And you can watch our latest episode now, the pottery challenge. I should warn you, pottery makes me horny. We shouldn't have worn those lights shortly.
So for adventures and so much more, head over to Patreon.com slash Elis John now.
Hello everyone!
What would Elis, John and Dave put in their apocalypse bunkers?
It's becoming clear that AI is going to kill us all. And here at Elis and John, our attitude to the end of the human race differs. Elis is in a period of mourning for the end of Wikipedia pages that cover the Tour de France, the Epiphone 335, and Harold Wilson. Dave has remortgaged his house to stock up on GAC. This
is out on terrestrial radio, man. It's a type of
goo for kids. For kids. It's like Play-Doh. And John thinks that broad strokes, the end of humankind, would be a good thing, but has been asked not to wear that view on the version of the show that goes out on Five Live. But fear ye not, because whatever your view on the elimination of our species, we have the solution for you. Yes, we're tech entrepreneurs, and as such, after a brainstorm session last year, we decided it was time to prep like tech entrepreneurs. Investing in Elis John nuclear bunkers. The finishing touches have just been applied, and Patreon members get early access to spaces should the worst happen. But whose bunker will they choose? First up, it's Pad Cymru. Ellis' homo. Ellis's homage to the legacy of Welsh cycling.
Fitted with a hundred C2 erg bikes, this state-of-the-art gym will ensure that fast twitch muscle fiber is the last thing to go extinct. Well, I say state-of-the-art. In true Elis fashion, a lack of joined-up thinking is evident in the design. Whether you call it cognitive decline, ADHD, or simply a good old-fashioned cock-up. Even to amateur architects, the structure has some flaws. There's no doubt that the walls are adorned with a genuinely impressive array of inspirational memorabilia. The water bottle from Nicole Cooke's 2008 Olympic Gold Medal-winning Road Race. Sounds brilliant. Sits in a central display case. Geraint Thomas's yellow jersey from the 2016 Volta ao Algarve is framed over the entrance archway.
Imagine. An Elinor Barker's 2018 Commonwealth Gold Medal has been set into the water fountain so that survivors can rub it for good luck before hydrating. However. Elis left it too late to submit his plans to any contractors with the capacity to take on such a project. So, after some sketches were put down in the margins of the New Statesman, Ellis' builder Steve has had to do his best. Fair play to the guy. The bikes are all installed, but there's only one toilet between 200 guests, and those surviving the robot takeover will have to pray there's no nuclear fallout or rain because there's no escaping the In fact it doesn't have a roof. Okay.
And he's called Andy, not Steve.
Those wishing for a drier way to see out the apocalypse may want to opt for the brainchild of producer Dave. I say dry, whilst it does have a roof, construction firm McLaughlin and Harvey have confirmed it's the only nuclear bunker they've ever built that comes with its own dedicated foam room. The compound called simply Dave's Aims to give inhabitants the full Ibiza experience, but one that could survive a 400 kiloton nuclear blast. Residents have a choice of two nightclubs, Oceana and Equinox. One playing drum and bass and the other also playing drum and bass, but with UV lighting. Stockpiling choices have been controversial, whereas traditionalists opt for long life grains and tinned goods. Dave's Lada currently contains
Hundred litres of tequila, two thousand limes and a metric ton of salt.
Again, it sounds really good. It does. There would be an indie room in the nightclub, but aside from that, it's bad.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–0:58
2
What would Elis, John and Dave put in their apocalypse bunkers?
0:58–10:52
3
Why does John thrive in a constant perma-rolling crisis?
10:52–11:57
4
What would you do on your final day on Earth—and why would Elis join LinkedIn?
11:57–15:24
5
What happens in the Elis and John escape-room adventure?
15:24–19:34
6
Can Elis find a mutual connection with a caller from Wales?
19:34–36:02
7
How did Elis finally meet his musical hero Johnny Marr?
36:02–38:51
8
How did Johnny Marr develop songs for his new album, The Age of Everything?
38:51–1:05:20
Speakers
4 identifiedMore from Elis James and John Robins
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