Elis James and John Robins

#347 - The Great Absolver, Winton’s Well and A Google Docs Kinda Guy

02 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

On the horizon approaching the dusty Elis and John town in the podcast wild west is an indiscernible speck. Over time it goes from a dot, to a blob, t...

#346 - £1 Nights Out, Vaping More Than Breathing and Walking Dion Broken Glass

28 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What do you get when you cross a mad dad with a donkey? It’s the question we’ve all been asking, and on today’s podcast we finally get the answe...

#345 - Burdening Burden, The Ultimate Head and A Dizzy at Tebay

25 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Move over Geraint Thomas, there are some new Welsh thighs on the cycling scene. Elis’s heroic cycle ride to Brighton is picked over and analysed, as...

#344 - Generation Bodge Job, The Thinking Drinker’s Degree, and A Wazzaaa of Crosbys

21 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If podcasts were countries, and episodes were drivers, then this iteration of Elis and John would be covering a hell of a lot of ground. One minute it...

#343 - Baff, Mooch Ma Mooch and Higs Higs Higs Higs Higs

18 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Elis is hoisted by his own genetic petard today. For he and Isy have combined to create the perfect journalistic lampooner. And he has nowhere to hide...

#342 - Great Articles Going Unwritten, The Scottish Experience and Good & Long

14 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Euros are kicking off but Elis is sad. Because due to penalties, rather than being on the lash with the lads and girls of Swansea, Rhyl and Pontyp...

#341 - Calippolitical, Italia ’90 Games and Eating Bao Buns in Complete Silence

11 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We’re heading towards quite frankly Australian levels of being rattled on today’s Made Up Game as another game format comes under the microscope o...

#340 - Bog Body Ready, Long Haul Phaal and Nish Kumar

07 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s show is a titanic showdown between two arch-nemeses. It’s Disraeli against Gladstone, it’s David versus Goliath, it’s The Rumble in th...

#339 - Crisp 147s, The Dave Farce and Miss Havisham's Warzone

04 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If you've ever seen the film Stepbrothers then the behaviour exhibited by man-children Ferrell and C. Reilly isn't so far removed from today's Made Up...

#338 - Task Masters, Blue Moon Peter and Beginner’s Luck: The Adrian Chiles Story

31 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

One of the great comedy gameshow performers is in the house as Taskmaster concludes. Whether that’s Robins, or one of his other competitors who came...

#337 - Project Balance, The State of Pitta Breads and Non-Sexual Condensation Writing

28 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Elis and John embark on their 1,000 hours of political podcasting over the next 5 weeks, much to Producer Dave’s dismay. Which is quite an incredibl...

#336 - Tuffers’ Glow, Buffet Behaviour and Babes In The Mauve Interior

24 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Dave’s back not with a vengeance, but for an absolute bumper buffet of an episode. For there’s not one, but TWO new features. Oh we do spoil you, ...

#335 - Cursed FC, The Peter Clause and The Tide On Your Nethers

21 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Well, well, well. Every so often the old gal which is Made Up Games throws a grenade into the mix. And does it lead to drama? You bet ya it does as sp...

#334 - Fish Finger Frenzy, Piña Colada Eggs and a Daveless Space

17 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s a podcast-first first as Elis and John enter the unknown: Cheadle Hulme’s most handsome producer is absent, leaving the unproduceables unprod...

#333 - Fine For Bride, So Many Reasons and If You Come For The Queen You Best Not Miss

14 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A huge moment for both Swifties and Red Breasts alike, for today’s the day we hear the hit new single about “What if Taylor Swift broke up with a ...

#332 - Mr Audio, Love's Best Lubricant and The Man Who Can Eat Three Curries

10 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

All sorts of achievements flying around on the show. Some aural and others gastronomic as the boys reflect on a great night at the big radio awards as...

#331 - Five Star Bums, Tax Over Taylor and Too Punctual For Love

07 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

‘Smorgasbord’ is a word frequently deployed to describe the Elis and John podcast. A buffet-style meal of Swedish origin which is typically celebr...

#330 - Sleepy Elis, A Corporate Shill for Big Thick and David Gandy

03 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Knees are shaking and pulses are racing as none other than international superstar model David Gandy stops by for a chat to answer all of Elis and Joh...

#329 - Sacked for Sadness, Hated for Content, and A Steady Hand on the Tiller of Love

30 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The boys are beset by worries this week: John is in a tizz over whether his faulty car will be covered its warranty, and Elis is suspicious that the n...

#328 - The Golden Age of Whaling, Five Whimsical Bananas, and A Robin and A Swift

26 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s episode tackles the Big Questions, but only if by Big Questions you mean specifically: what spotted insect is causing John to yelp in bed? W...

#327 - Tim’s Rumpus Room, Pork Chop Calves and Buckinghamshire Living

23 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If you thought this show was your safe space away from pop behemoth Taylor Swift’s single handed takeover of popular culture then sadly you’d be w...

#326 - Chiles Parsnips, Elis St. John, and Superfruit Cigs

19 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What do the blue touch paper and the switchboards have in common? They’ve both been lit, that’s what. Elis and John have been inundated with some ...

#325 - Taut John, Cake In Your Wallet and Joanne McNally

16 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Once the Welsh football media spring dries up Elis needs a retirement plan. Thanks to his dashing good looks there is only one viable alternative: int...

#324 - Blancmange Bullying, The Custard Slice Scene, and Run to Win and Hate Yourself

12 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If this show doesn’t become the go-to running podcast of 2024, we’re not sure what will. For all the on-foot 'experts' pumping out mid-level conte...

#323 - Fleet McWrap, Handsome Turf and George Kink Lads Only

09 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Tuesdays used to mean the odd Champions League fixture and Holby City. Now they mean podcasts. More specifically this one, and on today's show a giddi...

#322 - Specs Appeal, Virgil van Dave, and Toilets At Dench

05 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A new John Robins has emerged. Move over Brains and Colin Firth in 'A Single Man' for there's a new doyenne of eyewear fashion. And with such style an...

#321 - Psychic Cats, Second Rate Roses and Out of Riff Ammo

02 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The lovely Lou Sanders is in the studio and brings along her wonderfully chaotic aura.Oh and it's dead bus-eh. There's another hands on Made Up Game, ...

#320 - The Testosterone Twins, Three Shirt Robins and Restless Irritable Discontented

29 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s a two hander today as John and Dave fly solo. But that isn’t to say that we’re not bursting at the seams with top stuff.There’s more clou...

#319 - Baddies on the Beach, 5 Live At 30 and Thank God for Zabaleta

26 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

5 Live is 30 Years Old. A milestone indeed but it makes the station even more criminally young than our presenters. So Elis and John celebrate by look...

#318 - Chieveley James, Project Digital Life and The More The Murrayer

22 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

John Robins is an analogue guy. There's no one on earth whose life is more dictated by paper than he. So today John digs into his worst nightmare: 'th...

#317 - Tasting Collapse, Ken Coe and James Hoffmann

19 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Never has the mood at Elis and John HQ been more nervous or excitable. For it is a momentous day. The Hoff himself, coffee expert and YouTuber James H...

#316 - Terrace Fashion Week, Too Much Pastry and Stopping At Heston

15 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever wondered how our hosts would fare as children’s podcast presenters? Well thanks to today’s fun and games, now we know! And it’s as...

#315 - The Tap Scene, Spanish Deception and Cheaper Derby

12 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We’re a month into the Great Reset and Elis and John are so into the swing of things that they’re practically Tarzan and Jane swinging through the...

#314 - King Kia, Three Course Curry and Cow Pat PR

08 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today Elis and John are at one with nature. (No, not in a sexy way Producer Dave). They're surviving not only the rigours of a podcast-first approach ...

#313 - Weaving Willow, Vague Cawl and Soft Play VAR

05 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Elis James and John Robins are two of the UK's youngest and most talented broadcasters, and over the years they've had many of their skills put to the...

#312 - Swansea Spielberg, Mooning Armada and a Stain on Global Culture

01 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

According to the Full Moon Calendar, we're still three weeks away from the next biggest moony of them all: the moon. However, that didn't stop Elis an...

#311 - Bonce Funk, Improving Esperanto and The Audio Foyer

27 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There's an old saying in the English language: 'A watched pot never boils'. But thankfully, the same doesn't apply to other forms of technology, becau...

#310 - Didgeridinners, Our Oprah and Telford Is A Tear Duct

23 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

An alien lands on Earth. As an audiophile, the first thing they do when they touch down is press play on the Elis and John podcast to get a taste of t...

#309 - Condo Cheese, Stepdad Energy and Psychic Hangovers

20 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Still aching after their Digital Decade celebrations, Elis and John somehow managed to find the strength to dust themselves off and begin traipsing al...

#308 - The Double Ds, O'Doherty Ditties and A Lesson In Jingles

16 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

As the sun sets on a digitised decade of content for Messrs James and Robins, it was only fitting to celebrate 10 years of broadcasting badinage with ...

#307 - Pleasure Parity, Content Camaraderie and A Thumbless Month

13 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Tuesday: in the past it was often looked at as one of the less-favourable days of the week. The weekend feels miles away, you're still not even half w...

#306 - The Banter Box, Six Feet From Stardom and Where's Lincoln?

09 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The content machine is now well and truly oiled up and ploughing ahead at lightning speed, as Elis James and John Robins release their SECOND podcast ...

#305 - Anxious Orange, Alpha Max Force and A Tartt Tip-Off

06 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Tuesday 6th February 2024: a day that will go down in history as the day that broadcasting changed forever. Was it because we saw the launch of a bran...

The Great Reset: 'Broadcasting Britain Back Better'

02 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The launch of the brand new Elis James and John Robins podcast is days away, and as the finishing touches are being added attention turns to how the b...

The Great Reset: 'Igniting the Spark'

30 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Elis, John and Producer Dave are busy working on the relaunch of their brand new podcast, but with the launch date fast approaching they've decided to...

The Great Reset: 'A Digital Empire'

26 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Preparations for the brand new Elis James and John Robins podcast are well under way, and the guys are now turning their attention to one of the most ...

The Great Reset: 'Let's Kick This Show Off the Road'

23 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

With the launch of their brand new podcast fast approaching, Elis, John and Producer Dave have decided to meet up at the BBC to begin planning. There'...

#304 - Elis James and John Robins: The Best of 2023

29 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Bob Marley once sang "In this bright future you can't forget your past", and it's those very words that have once again inspired Elis James and John R...

#303 - Robbyns Resolutions, Secret Scents and Chaff Tuesday

22 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Christmas is just around the corner, and whilst many people up and down the country are winding down for the festive period here on the Elis James and...

#302 - Sounds & Sons, David D. Craddock and Two Sides of the Groin

15 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Elis, John and Producer Dave embodied the very definition of 'the voice of the UK' for today's show, as they once again broadcast from locations that ...

#301 - Going Grain, Hannon Handshakes and Peak Bleak

08 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

With the end of the year fast approaching the hot topic on everyone's lips is forgiveness. Whether it be the person that accidentally spilled a can of...

#300 - Digital Decades, Comedic Offbeatsman and Basic Podcast Strategy

01 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Back in May 2019 who would have thought that Elis James and John Robins, battered and bruised by a barrage of texts and tweets bemoaning their recent ...

#299 - Pylon Following, 50 Under 50 and Lou’s Big Birthday

24 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Due to factors there was no live show today, but that doesn’t mean we were ever going to leave you high and dry without your weekly dose of content....

#298 - Tahini Trouble, Jivo Graham and Ruddy Angry

17 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

John Robins - the most dedicated comedian in the UK - is continuing his mammoth UK tour, which means that he wasn’t able to make it into the studio ...

#297 - Sexy Snails, Retired Waistcoats and Ice Cream Calamity

10 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Like the very concept of time itself John’s tour continues to march forward at pace, as he aims to visit every stand-up comedy venue in the country....

#296 - PDF Radio, Tourbasco and A Bag of Prawns

03 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

CAT FEVER struck the studio today; quite literally, as it turns out that Elis James is allergic to the two little kittens that he's welcomed into his ...

#295 - Badmin, Comedy Tapas and Making Uncertain Memories

27 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It’s been some year for Elis James, and nobody deserves a break more than him (though John might argue the case against that claim). Yes, this week ...

#294 - Derbyshire Disrespect, Fruity Boy & Veg Head and Vibing On Ice

20 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

John - similar to a comedy version of The Rolling Stones - just doesn't want to stop touring, meaning that for the second week on the bounce he wasn't...

#293 - The Darkness of Dave, Hoi Polloi and Jacqueline Wilson (A)

13 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Listener: this is both an apology AND a warning. An apology for being naive enough to think that someone might like to share a harmless anecdote about...

#292 - Smelting Success, Powerful Honey and The Arena of Worry

06 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Like The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and Roachford before him, John continues to live the touring life; aiming to perform stand up at every location i...

#291 - Mancunian Positive John (Bonus #Content)

29 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Ryder Cup action is taking over BBC 5 Live, meaning there was no live show from Elis James and John Robins this week... But fear not, as we have a rig...

#290 - Giftshop Gripes, D-Reamits and We Go To Tunbridge Wells

22 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

With John embarking on a 200+ date world tour taking in Salford, Canterbury, Huddersfield, and then Salford again, the man whose modus operandi is emo...

#289 - Primary Porkies, Theatre Thickos and Fun In The Fens

15 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Look up the word 'content' in the Oxford English Dictionary and it reads "n. Elis James and John Robins' show on BBC Radio 5 Live, 2-4pm 15th Septembe...

#288 - Auction Action, DI Dre and Thought Knox

08 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

For the first time in what’s felt like years Elis, John and Producer Dave were finally reunited in Central London this week, and just like any other...

#287 - Memoirhahas, Cat Flap Chaos and Tessellation Turmoil

01 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

After a month long loan deal expired, Edinburgh returned John Robins. So Robins, free from the Scottish capital's creative buzz and extortionate renta...

#286 - Sesame Oil Surfeits, Nature's Printer and Seagull Supporters

25 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It’s been some month for Johnny JR. Not only did he decide to take on the mammoth task of performing over 700 stand up shows across 31 days, he also...

#285 - Elis and John Live from Edinburgh

18 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Elis and John venture to both the final boss and tutorial of the comedy world. That's right... Edinburgh! To mark the occasion a live audience descend...

#284 - Maximum Mystery, Trainecdotes and Internal Risk Assessments

11 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

With Elis taking a much deserved holiday, this week John found himself all alone in Edinburgh. But just as it looked like the faders were going to be ...

#283 - Minor Key Comedy, Same Old Larkin and Frank Skinner

04 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Edinburgh Fringe. The centre of the comedy universe. And the beaming hot star at the centre of said universe, of which every other planet orbits, ...

#282 - Oldroyd Sorbet, #Biceps and A Macchichatiato

28 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

As the old saying goes “distance makes the heart grow fonder”. But after taking a three week break from live radio in order to make way for 5 Live...

#281 - It’s A Blunderful Life (Bonus #Content)

21 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

With #Sport once again keeping our hosts off the airwaves of 5 Live, we find Elis, John and Producer Dave in fine fettle as things remain ‘loosey go...

#280 - Suit, Shoes and Swimming Trunks (Bonus #Content)

14 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

There's a real broadcasting buffet on offer today from Elis, John and Producer Dave, as they once again humbly stepped aside so the nation could conti...

#279 - CCC: Customer Condiment Control (Bonus #Content)

07 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

ELIS AND JOHN LIVE AT THE EDINBURGH FRINGE IS NOW FULLY BOOKEDBBC 5 Live is committed to providing every single type of content out there. Tennis? Che...

#278 - Stage Time Stresses, Dignity Biscuits and A Barrel of Eggs

30 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Elis and John aren’t on air for a large portion of July, as 5 Live continues to fill its public service broadcasting remit by providing world-beatin...

#277 - Glastonbury Gripes, Fiscal Vasectomies and Perfect Ploughmi

23 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Recently, dreams turning into reality has become quite a regular occurrence on the show. First, John became the buffest broadcaster in Britain. Then, ...

#276 - King Vinegar, Precinct Penchants and the Magic of Chiles

16 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The ‘Hometown Triumvirate’ is a rare occurrence in the world of radio. A collector’s item, some might say. Well today, completists got their wis...

#275 - Bumbag Bravado, Remunerationships and Adam From Bungay

09 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

New studio, new Elis James and John Robins? Not a chance; no matter how many times one disgruntled listener might text into the show they’ll never c...

#274 - Date City Central, Forty Slinks and Reece With A Spoon

02 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

‘Excitement’ was the word on everyone’s lips at the BBC today… and for good reason. First, they were excited about the fact that the wonderful...

#273 - Kwik Save Clothes, Tallinn Jokes and Big Bisc

26 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It’s a good job that the microphones in Broadcasting House are on adjustable mic stands, because for today’s show self-certified posh person Sir E...

#272 - Noodle Season, Taunton Pastrami and Foyer Residencies

19 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

What do you get if you cross an elite-level goalkeeper, a man carrying a chopping board in his rucksack and someone who just can’t wait to get ready...

#271 - Fragrant Disregard, Druids In Need and The Man of Steele

12 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Is there anything more scintillating than overhearing three good friends goofing around on national radio? Well according to Producer Dave there is, a...

#270 - Toddler Tatts, Centenary Sprinters and Own Brand Stout

05 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

With the coronation of King Charles III just hours away, Elis and John were giddy with excitement in a balanced and compliant way, with streets partie...

#269 - Bonus Mobility, Long Awaited Wazzes and Aggers On Dressage

28 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

‘Informative… punctual… fun’. These are all words you’d associate with a consummate broadcaster. But ‘bravery’? No, that’s an adjectiv...

#268 - The Royal Tab, Insanity Platters and DI Robbyns

21 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Elis has returned from Dave's favourite continent sunkissed and with renewed vigour. As he saw the On Air light blink red there was a determination is...

#267 - Atomic Bum, Apologetic Moshing and Yo Shoeshi

14 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Over the past few months it’s been well documented that Elis James is the busiest man on earth, so this week he decided to take some much needed tim...

#266 - Single Pringles, Sportageddon and 225 Lollipop Ladies

07 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

With a MASSIVE announcement from the Elis and John Tax Year Calendar, a HUGE Made Up Game involving a behemoth of the broadcasting world, and a GIGANT...

#265 - Vampire Grannies, Breaking Beale and John’s Dream Seat

31 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

What car would Huw Edwards drive? Where is John’s favourite spot to sit on a crowded train? Does Elis know how much a second class stamp costs? Does...

#264 - Slimline Biscuits, Impartial Spines and Tweet The Internet

24 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The floors of Broadcasting House were shaking this morning, as Beefcake Robins entered the studio fresh from achieving yet another personal best at th...

#263 - Dockers Dictionary, Postcode Dave and Floss Comedy

17 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The higher-ups at the BBC might be able to restrict Elis and John to an hour's worth of radio in order to make room for the Cheltenham Festival, but d...

#262 - Robot Lasagne, Sink Sabotage and Ping When You’re Winning

10 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

A surprise at every turn, content on the cusp of being toooo edgy, and with some bits a little too revealing for the more conservative consumer.. Elis...

#261 - Riff Yourself Thin, Sexy Elis and Bury’d In Shame

03 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In an unexpected turn of events John has become something of a 'gym head', and today in the studio he asked Elis and Dave to touch his muscles 12 time...

#260 - Epsom Mad Funkers, Celestial Kick Ups and Capers Capers

24 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

A wise person once said "A rising tide lifts all boats". However another less well-known wise person also said "A giddy John lifts all spirits", and t...

#259 - FTSE Friday, Shy Erotica and Guff Complaints

17 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today's show was BRAVO, INDIA, GOLF. No, the guys weren't celebrating the achievements of PGA tour golfer Anirban Lahiri: they announced that 'The Eli...

#258 - Martin Lewis, Operation Snack and Takeaway Tittle-Tattle

10 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If the aim of a usual Elis and John show is to deliver ‘your classic 4-4-2’ (anecdote over the top, punchline flick-on, good radio bell finish), t...

#257 - Tweet The Internet, Sexual Cul-De-Sacs and Tube Quiz Champ

03 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In a return to scenes reminiscent of 2020, today's show saw Elis, John and Producer Dave broadcasting from a whole host of exotic locations; such as C...

#256 - Goss Bros, Source A Horse and Space Invader Ska

27 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Production… It's an Audio Always thing. Bringing the hottest goss in town… It’s an Elis and John thing. Having to tame radio’s most uncontroll...

#255 - Loving Lightly, Liner Pies and VAT Bottomed Girls

20 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The UK is going through something of a cold snap at the minute, with temperatures dropping to as low as -2 degrees Celsius. But wait: don't go filling...

#254 - George Ezra, Horny Traffic and Bond’s Great Escape

13 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

A hustling bustling show hit the airwaves today, as Elis and John not only laid the foundations for releasing their own Tax Year Calendar (April to Ap...

#253 - Pylon Alley, Chairman Meow and 1.2kg of Self-Reproach

06 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

New Year, new you… but same old badinage from Elis James and John Robins, radio’s most lovable lummoxes. And though we hope that you all had some ...

#252 - Elis James and John Robins: The Best of 2022

30 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Leonard I. Sweet once proclaimed "The future is not something we enter. The future is something we create", and as BBC Radio 5 Live's premium purveyor...