How to Control Every Conversation Using THIS CIA Spy FRAMEWORK
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What are “windows and doors” and how do they shape a conversation?
There's another exercise that we have at CIA called Windows and Doors. In a conversation, people will open windows, windows in conversation, which means I might ask you one thing or you might ask me something, and then in my response, I hint at something else. That's a window, right? You started this conversation by asking me, what season of my life am I in? That was a fantastic question to open windows and doors because you don't know what the answer is, but you're going to choose what you hear to decide where you go next. The same thing happens in a normal conversation, right? You can see windows and doors when they present themselves. When you are trying to cultivate perspective over somebody, you want to choose the windows and doors that you follow through in the conversation specifically to collect the kind of information that you want to gain that perspective.
So if I'm trying to sell something to you, if I'm trying to sell something to you as an entrepreneur, I'm going to follow the windows and doors that open up in conversation that take me to understand better what limitations or challenges you're having as an entrepreneur.
So if you're a car salesman and I'm a customer and I want to buy a car, what kind of questions would you start asking me to...
I love this exercise because I actually just had to buy a car after we moved. And I was shocked at how horrible my car salesman was because he did not think this way, right? Why do people buy a car? I have... I'm going to let you practice your perspective on me. When I moved to Colorado Springs in May, why did I have to buy a car?
Because you have kids.
Nope.
You have two kids. Oh, because you have to... Well, you mentioned Colorado Springs, so I guess that's pretty pertinent to your answer. But you have to travel a lot around Colorado because it's quite... Quite vast,
isn't it? You need a mode of transportation. That's the only reason anybody buys a car. That's where you have to start because then you have to think, well, why are they here? If you're a Subaru dealership and somebody walks in, you already know that they've pre-qualified a number of things. They must be looking for a Subaru. They must be looking for a two-wheel car.
How can the “windows and doors” technique be used in a car‑sales scenario?
They must be looking for an all-wheel car or else they wouldn't be here. So you can kind of make those assumptions if you practice perspective when they walk in. And then when they walk in, that's when you find out, oh, they're a parent. So I'm looking for a mode of transportation that's also safe because I'm a parent. I have a family of four. So I'm looking for a mode of transportation that's safe for at least four people. If you practice a little bit of perspective, you learn a lot more about the person that you're trying to close. So now I ended up buying a Nissan Pathfinder, a brand new Nissan Pathfinder. Not because my salesman was any good, but because I went to the Nissan dealership already wanting a brand new Pathfinder, just like you did.
But I always go through this experience to see what's the salesperson going to do? Like, are they going to try to sell me something good? Are they going to try to sell me something wrong? Are they going to understand my specific needs? Or am I going to have to coach them through this whole thing? My company gets hired to give sales training to high performance sales teams. And what I'm shocked at is how often, even with a high-performing sales team, salespeople don't practice perspective and perception. What they practice is whatever script they're supposed to read. And they practice empirical numbers, and they practice the law of averages. And it's like, I need to make 100 calls to convert 12%. That's what they practice.
Instead of... practicing something just a little bit more efficient, like changing your opening line to ask an open-ended question, just like you did. An open-ended question is a question that makes the person on the other side of the phone speak through the lens of their current reality.
Do
you know
what?
I've
never said this before, but there's a question I ask every guest in the preamble.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What are “windows and doors” and how do they shape a conversation?
0:00–2:10
2
How can the “windows and doors” technique be used in a car‑sales scenario?
2:10–4:23
3
Why do high‑performing sales teams need perspective instead of scripted calls?
4:23–6:19
4
How did an open‑ended question unlock a deep conversation with Simon Sinek?
6:19–8:20
5
What does courage mean for entrepreneurs trying new approaches?
8:20–10:46
6
Why should you gamble on yourself instead of the system’s safe bets?
10:46–14:15
7
How does history of shifting world powers affect today’s entrepreneurs?
14:15–15:34
8
Why does the host reject altruism and focus on family‑centric goals?
15:34–15:56
Speakers
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