164: Father Knows: Insecurity
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What insecurities do people struggle with in relationships?
He's an observer.
He is. He is. So it's great to have him on the show. So he's going to help Justin come up with the answers.
Yes, a lot of wisdom sitting here next to me.
A lot of wisdom. In fact, it's really an interesting thing because I found that sometimes I've run across people that are very, very, very bright. Sometimes they're not as bright as they think they are, but they're bright. But what they do lack sometimes is wisdom. So I think we should all recognize that sometimes we may think we know the answer and we may think that we know better than what people are out there. Sometimes never underestimate the people that you're around because you may find out that they hold a lot of wisdom that you may learn something from them. That's right. So there's the lesson of the day. And that's our guy right over here. That's good old Pedro.
Good to have him. It is. Are you curious about our theme by chance?
I am curious about our theme.
Well, we're going into insecurities.
What comes from insecurity sometimes? A whole lot. We're going to find out.
A whole lot of different situations. Okay. All right. Here we go. Here we go. All right. Number one. Number one. Hello all. I'm a long time listener, but first time writer. My 26 female boyfriend, 28 male, has a girl best friend who just came back for a month from another country. I have a good relationship with her, and both of them have a good friendship too. I trust my boyfriend wholeheartedly, and I know this girl BFF, let's call her D, also won't do anything to sabotage our relationship, so there's no fear there. My issue is with my insecurity. I grew up in a household that was extremely traditional. Muslim, not in America. So it was not normal for me growing up to see genuine girl and guy friendships.
Now that she's here for a few weeks, my boyfriend visits her every so often and they would have tea together. His work is in the same area where she lives, so he'd have a cup of tea with her. Her family is with her too. Due to my own limitations, it's difficult for me to go as often as he does. It's not normal to see guy and girl friendships for me, which triggers my insecurities a lot, that he can do much better without me, someone who doesn't have limitations like I do. These limitations are related to my mobility and mental health. I feel insecure that I'm not wanted around and I'm not needed. Even though my boyfriend constantly reassures me and tries to include me wherever it's possible. I want to be able to move on from my insecurities and not feel triggered whenever he tells me he's going to hang out with her. I don't think it's about trust because I do trust him. There's an element of feeling left out.
I have felt that a lot growing up and that my limitations are too much for a normal person. I've been with my boyfriend for over three years and I love him a lot. And I don't want that whenever he's meeting a good friend of his, especially if it's a girl, that I feel the need to be included every time. I want to feel okay with the friendship they have. It has gotten better in the past three years, but it is still difficult. Any fatherly advice is much appreciated. Thank you.
I do have a question. Yeah. And I wish that she could answer this, but I know that she'll answer it to herself. Why do you think he likes you as his girlfriend? And then take that thought and put that in your head and say, if he didn't like me for that, then he wouldn't have me. So that's number one. Number two, I have friends that are women.
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