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Father Knows Something

184: Father Knows: New Year, New Me

21 Jan 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the theme of the New Year episode?

0.031 - 16.053 Justin

Hi, this is Dad, FKES. Welcome to this week's episode of Father Knows Something. I'm glad you guys are here, and it's Justin and I tonight. So what do we have for this evening? We have a theme. Yes. And the theme will be?

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17.756 - 20.219 Jerry

Well, we've just begun a new year.

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21.12 - 22.262 Justin

We've only just begun.

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22.623 - 23.283 Jerry

Do we see it?

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23.944 - 24.385 Justin

Yes. Yes.

25.343 - 39.401 Jerry

This is all about new year, new me, new year, new you. I like that. So call it resolutions, call it big life changes. This is the best time of the year to enact a change.

39.561 - 46.89 Justin

What was your new year resolution? I want to get more sleep. My resolution is to improve my focus.

47.591 - 48.012 Jerry

Very good.

48.893 - 85.587 Justin

And start using tools to do it. Tools. Tools. Again, a tool that I was, I went actually for some assistance in this today. And it is an exercise that I'm going to be doing now is taking two minutes a day to turn on a sound. And just focus on the sound as you calm your mind and focusing on the noise or the sound. Don't let your mind drift away to other things. Bring it back. Focus on the sound.

Chapter 2: How can I improve my focus and sleep in the new year?

121.156 - 127.474 Justin

I just go ahead and just sit in the plane and be focused on right here.

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128.787 - 138.448 Jerry

And crash. I'm not talking about flying the plane. I'm talking about being in the back, like on the way to Australia. Can you imagine just staring at the screen in front of you with nothing on it?

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139.431 - 149.892 Justin

No, I'm not looking to be that disciplined. The fact that the psychologist gave me two minute, you know, do it for two minutes. I thought that was okay.

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150.013 - 151.475 Jerry

Yeah, you got to start somewhere.

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151.495 - 164.373 Justin

Start somewhere. So we'll see how this part goes. I have another appointment with her in two weeks. We'll see if there's what I do and how I react to it.

164.734 - 166.036 Jerry

So new year, new Jerry.

166.196 - 182.308 Justin

New Jerry. Jerry's dialing himself in. All right. So goes to show you guys, if I tell everyone things that, thoughts, at least I'm also trying to listen to my own thoughts and follow my own advice.

183.109 - 183.53 Jerry

Very good.

183.871 - 184.852 Justin

Okay. So what do you got?

Chapter 3: What advice can I give to someone struggling with in-law relationships?

545.298 - 570.342 Justin

But, you know, and I'm glad to talk to dad. And tell him that and deal with him. But if he is going to be nasty, I don't need him here. It's not good for me. It's not good for my relationship with my wife. All of it is negative. And if we have grandchildren, and I'm not sure if they said there's grandchildren or not, I don't want them to be around him.

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570.828 - 577.421 Jerry

Right. I mean, you can't force someone to have a good relationship with you.

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577.762 - 578.102 Justin

Nope.

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578.122 - 607.303 Jerry

At some point, it just, it's either going to work or not. Relationships take effort no matter what the relationship is. But you can't constantly feel like you need to bend over backwards or really make yourselves uncomfortable to force this to work. It's just, yeah, I'm curious what the dynamic is between the two of them, the mom and the dad.

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608.425 - 615.553 Jerry

Because as soon as, you know, it's tricky as you build up this healthy relationship with his mom.

616.574 - 616.714

Mm-hmm.

616.694 - 619.618 Jerry

You don't want things to get bad for her on the other side.

619.698 - 632.117 Justin

No, I don't. But I definitely want to make sure that he doesn't break his expectations of dad. And if dad can't get along, dad doesn't have to come. You know, I'm not going to cut dad any slack for this.

632.578 - 636.744 Jerry

No, no, I don't think so. Especially not in this new year. No. It's not the time.

Chapter 4: How do I navigate a difficult relationship with my dad?

907.224 - 907.424 Unknown

Yeah.

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908.045 - 921.198 Justin

You can take, I mean, you have to really say, dad, you care if I talk to her, if you can't talk to her, if you're not getting through to her and you're not prepared to get rid of her, then I'll have a talk with her and I'll let her know where I am with my kids.

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921.619 - 923.48 Jerry

And if you care at all to be a part of my life.

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924.441 - 952.088 Justin

I'm sure dad wants to be a part of your life. I just don't know. I just can't read dad's mind without talking to dad, but you know, He may not have the ability to communicate. So you can take two ways to do it. You can do it, say, we can sit down together and talk about it. I mean, this involves, you know, this couple. I mean, he stands with this woman, apparently.

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952.237 - 978.32 Justin

But he's never had any integrity of respect for whatever woman he was with. It's evidently. They're not really part of his essence. They are nothing more than a filler for him. And so, you know, again, you got to have both sides. to see if there's going to be any possibility here.

978.721 - 991.039 Jerry

Yeah. Because when you say, I can't shake the feeling she does this on purpose, well, she does. Because the further you get pushed away, the more of him she gets. And I don't really- She may be a control freak.

991.059 - 993.262 Justin

Maybe she's trying to manipulate him. I don't know.

993.282 - 1020.389 Jerry

True. But then, you know, when you say, what do I do? Because you've told your dad clearly, if he watches your son, it has to be alone because you don't trust her. but every time he brings her. So I think immediately, it's not necessarily cut off dad. I think it's, hey, I'm happy to come see you or we can go do whatever, but you're not watching my son. It's not happening.

1021.331 - 1039.194 Justin

I would take it to one more step And certainly talk to him and say, I'm gonna talk to her, we can do it together. But I have a concern, dad. And I wanna respect your relationship for you, but I also want you to respect this whole dynamic.

Chapter 5: What should I consider when deciding to quit my job?

1316.39 - 1340.931 Jerry

Everyone that writes in. Make your comments. We'd like to know. We're due for an update episode soon. I'd love that. Should do that. Okay, number? Number three. Number three. Hello, siblings and dad. I've been listening to THT since it started and started listening to Father Knows a couple months ago, which has been so helpful. Have you binged all of them? Probably working on it.

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1341.652 - 1362.422 Jerry

My fiance, 26 male, and I, 25 female, have been together for seven years, and we have two children together. A little over a year ago, he stole $900 out of my income tax and spent it on a prostitute. He said he didn't actually go in and us arguing all the time is what pushed him to do it.

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1363.364 - 1386.045 Jerry

I have BPD and I will admit I was severely splitting on him at the time, but I was working 100-hour weeks when he didn't work. Fast forward to now, he has a good job delivering packages, and we've decided to move on and forgive each other for past mistakes. We have two beautiful little boys together, and I love him very much.

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1386.785 - 1410.379 Jerry

To get to the point, I've been working midnights since he started this job, and while I love my job, gas station attendant, it's been getting really hard on me keeping up with a 2-year-old and a 5-year-old during the day, and keeping the house clean. I've just been so exhausted. So we decided together maybe it's best I quit my job for now and maybe arrange something for a day job.

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1410.882 - 1434.869 Jerry

My family is against this, though, because they know what he did, and especially my mom thinks he's going to screw me over again. I trust him, but I also know my trauma has made me naive to people I love, including him and my mom. I don't know what's best to do, but I know I can't keep working midnights at the same time. Thank you for any advice. I love you guys. Ideal outcome?

1435.47 - 1440.315 Jerry

I'm honestly not sure. I just want to get more than two hours of sleep a day again.

1441.375 - 1465.205 Justin

Well, you definitely have to go think about your health. And whatever is going to make you healthy is your primary thing. And that's number one. So two hours of sleep a night isn't going to work. So if you put that in the equation and you realize that it's a negative, find a way of whatever it is.

1465.285 - 1489.566 Justin

If you have to give up your night job and do a different job that you can function regularly, you know, look, you made the decision to stick it out with this guy. And You know, everyone has the story of why something happens. There's their story, the other person's story, and then the real story and the collective.

1490.207 - 1490.548 Unknown

Yeah.

Chapter 6: How can I maintain my friendship after my friend becomes a parent?

1665.244 - 1691.043 Jerry

If you guys had that kind of split time working because you were always able to have someone with the kids while the other was working- That's cool, but you can still also figure that out if you need to on the flip side. If you guys both work during the day, maybe it's not your family right now, given what you put here at the bottom, but That's a separate issue.

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1691.323 - 1703.322 Jerry

But right now it's about figuring out how you two can be the best team for yourselves, your relationship, and your two boys. I was going to go there.

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1703.502 - 1723.511 Justin

I mean, you have more than just your work life and you have more than just being parents. You have a relationship you have to support too. And if you guys aren't going to support your relationship and embellishing one another and growing as a team and loving each other, where you're going to say, look, I'm exhausted. We don't have any time to meet anybody.

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1723.591 - 1744.875 Justin

And all of a sudden you're meeting somebody at work or he's meeting somebody at work. And that's where you're going to get your emotional support. That's going to destroy your relationship too. You need to really respect each other in your relationship. And it's a lot to balance. I get it. I mean, how many people do we ever hear about that, you know,

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1746.053 - 1766.899 Justin

You know, they raise their kids and the kids move out at, you know, 24, 25. And then the parents say, I don't know if we know each other anymore. Right. Yeah. I don't know if we feel romantic. I mean, the romance went out the door 12 years ago. They quit having sex because they don't even know each other. They don't even care about how they feel. Yeah.

1768.16 - 1798.208 Justin

So I think it's really important that you really do. Don't lose each other. Because it happens. Yeah. So treat me. I would start looking at your priorities and sit down with your husband and say, what is our priority that we want to do into preserving our love life, our family life, and our work life? Because obviously we need a work life so we can afford to eat. We can do this.

1798.588 - 1813.545 Jerry

That's right. They are fiancés right now. Okay. But... And same thing applies, right? Same thing applies. It doesn't matter if you're a boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance. You're a couple. Or married, you have two kids together.

1813.565 - 1813.825 Unknown

That's right.

1813.845 - 1830.803 Jerry

And it's time to really get yourselves sorted, especially with the overnights and the sleep thing, so that you can be there for the full circle. And what better time to start? Right now, 2026, January. That's right. Okay.

Chapter 7: What steps can I take to prioritize my mental health?

1982.298 - 2003.077 Justin

It doesn't mean I don't love you and I don't think about you, but I need to go out and do that activity. My mind suffers when I don't, and that suffers my health, my mental health. And I'm going to watch it. I'm going to protect that mental health of mine. And I want to be able to do these. I enjoy them. Yeah. And if you want to grab the baby and we can go do this, I'm all down.

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2004.158 - 2008.503 Justin

But to come over and just sit on a couch and watch TV, I'm not into it.

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2009.844 - 2028.875 Jerry

Yeah. So be honest. I find it interesting that it, you know, it feels like maybe the friendship was declining or fading. And then... you know, maybe it's because of the history or the length of your friendship that then you were named the godmother.

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2030.157 - 2039.347 Justin

Well, when somebody makes you a godparent, they obviously care enough for you and they want you in their life. Right. It's a message being sent that you're special to me.

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2039.908 - 2040.088 Jerry

Sure.

2040.348 - 2062.562 Justin

And I get that. And if you want to give her time that you, the time that you do want to find a rainy day that you're going to go hang out and watch TV with her or go in the house and do whatever it is, Save it for that rainy day and say, Hey, you know, just set your time, you know, what fits in your schedule or what fits the best for spending time with her for that.

2063.324 - 2084.23 Justin

Knowing that she's not interested in really going out and being with people for whatever her reason or ask her what is stopping you from it. Yeah. At least you guys can communicate. Honesty is always the best policy to figure this out. And some people are afraid to be honest, to go ask what's going on there because they're so worried about the sensitivity of the other person, how they'll take it.

2084.551 - 2090.104 Justin

Be direct. Be the person that's direct. And don't beat around the bush.

2091.417 - 2110.05 Jerry

Yeah, and maybe it hasn't been communicated well, maybe it hasn't been brought out into the open and maybe the friend honestly isn't even aware because you haven't communicated your concerns or not even concerns, just your- Frustration. Yeah.

Chapter 8: How can I balance work and family life effectively?

2365.314 - 2374.567 Justin

Like and subscribe to us, I would hope. And most importantly, don't forget to make comments. And we'll see you over at Patreon, I hope.

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2375.368 - 2398.557 Jerry

And now that we're leaning, kind of knocking on the door of February, I think it'd be awesome to get any Valentine's Day specific stories you have. Not just general love and relationship, but something specific. Even if it's a good story to tell from your past or something you're worried about leading into Valentine's Day, something of that.

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2398.917 - 2402.123 Jerry

And it'd be fun to do a really specific Valentine's Day theme.

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2402.187 - 2425.022 Justin

Even if you guys have a thing for Valentine's surprises and we can come up with ideas for Valentine's, let's take a positive view of this thing as well. Rather than just problems, let's try to give people a good idea. Say, maybe what could I do for Valentine's Day? We like to do this kind of thing and we've done this, but we've...

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2425.002 - 2432.129 Justin

Any idea that we can do a theme to have an amazing Valentine's Day and we can come up with ideas.

2432.489 - 2432.91 Jerry

Perfect.

2433.33 - 2468.998 Justin

So don't forget to say what we have to work with if that's the case. And we'll see what can come up with some good ideas for everybody. So happy Valentine's Day in our near weeks to come. I look forward to seeing you guys next week. And don't forget to write and make comments. We love the comments. Yes. Okay. On the Patreon. On the Patreon. See you at the other... We'll see you in the backyard.

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