214: Father Knows: TOXIC
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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Are you sure? Yeah. Couch potato over there, are you ready?
Yeah, Dakota's ready.
Dakota apparently is a couch dog.
Well, whoever had him before definitely let him on the couch because he likes to try it. And this is a studio couch. This is not going to be with us much longer. So I figured, you know, what's the harm? But he doesn't go on the couch at home. He has his own couch.
He does.
He has a dog couch.
Okay, so he knows at home he can't go on the couch.
Yeah, he's very smart.
Okay.
Yeah. But still not my dog. We are fostering through Westside German Shepherd Rescue and he's going to be available soon, but he needs a little bit of training. So if you are interested, he is going to need a trainer. What kind of training does he need? You know, he's a little reactive on leash to other dogs and people, if they come up to your front steps and kind of scare him, you know, he's not expecting it. Then he kind of goes bonkers. But
isn't he a guard dog? Has he been bred to be
a palace dog? You know, and for the right person, they will love that, but not for me.
I mean, he can come to my house because they keep breaking in.
Maybe you want to keep him.
I thought about it. He
would be a good guard dog.
He's a great guard dog. I would love, and I love him. I think he's fantastic.
Yeah, he's a good dog. He's a great dog. Like he's potty trained completely, no accidents, so sweet and cuddly in the house. You can bathe him, brush him. He's not scared of a vacuum. I can literally vacuum right next to him and he doesn't do anything. He really is a great dog.
I actually have the little robot vacuum.
Oh yeah, he'd love that.
And they could become friends.
They could,
yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, guys, so tell me about what kind of episodes we have today.
So today we are getting into toxic dynamics, you know, whether it's relationships with family or partners, but all of the write-ins are kind of dealing with a toxic, maybe a little enmeshed dynamic, and things could be better.
We've been down this road, so... I guess we're going to go down the road again.
Not our first rodeo.
It is not. But what I really want to know is how do my answers change? Do I stay on a certain path? They
definitely vary from story to story. I would
like to know if I went back 100 episodes and had something similar. If my advice had changed, if I've migrated over the year and seasoned through other experiences, I don't
know. Go back and watch. Let us know.
I'm going to have to go do that.
Okay, let's get into these.
Okay, Morgan, number one.
Hi, Father Knows Crew. My parents' relationship has been tumultuous since the beginning. I'm the oldest child, and therefore I was the peacekeeper, therapist, and the glue that holds my family together. To give context, when I left for college and returned over Christmas break, my mom broke down to me, saying that she wasn't sure the family dynamic would work without me, and that she was worried that I was the only one keeping the family together. Fast forward, I'm in my late 20s now and the family dynamic is still on the rocks. I've put up boundaries with my mom and dad that I cannot play the middleman in their arguments and that they need to be adults and figure their own stuff out. This has given me more peace, but as a result, their relationship is crumbling, but I do know it's not my job to fix it.
My mom and I had dinner tonight, they just got back from a trip together, and she told me that they have reached yet another breaking point. My dad has finally conceded to going to couples therapy to work on things, but ultimately, I don't know how much a man in his 50s can change. She said the same thing, doesn't know how much he can change, but she wants to work on it and she's not ready to give up on him.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–15:12
2
How can the eldest child set boundaries with parents without feeling guilty?
15:12–34:40
3
What are effective ways to delegate family responsibilities on your wedding day?
34:40–44:30
4
What strategies help when a fiancé moves for work but you feel obligated to stay with family?
44:30–52:44