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Acceptable Accuracy Podcast 64 – Who’s Making It Out Alive? Zombie Weapon Choices
22 Jan 2026
Chapter 1: What are the initial thoughts on zombie apocalypse weapon choices?
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All right, welcome to another exciting episode of Acceptable Accuracy. I am one of your co-hosts, Tyler, and I am joined by a million dudes right now. So I have no idea how this is going to go. Our goal is an hour, but let's be real, it's probably going to be a three-hour episode. So let's go. What? But today, Phil, what's going on today? Like what on earth is going on? All right.
So, I am your other co-host, Philip. We are joined, like Tyler said, by a million other dudes and at least three dogs in this room. We today are going to try a group podcast today, and our topic is going to be what your primary, secondary, and melee weapon would be in a zombie apocalypse. Is it melee or melee? How would you like it to be? It's melee. I don't know.
I'm assuming it's got like a French... I'm Asian, so I have no idea. English is my second language. But wasn't Vietnam, like, weren't they, like, held by the French? And the Chinese. Yeah, and the Americans, kind of. Not really. Nope, that's staying in there. That always stays in there. I'm white adjacent, come on. But, all right, so either way, so, exactly.
So I guess, why don't you start us off, Phil? Like, tell us about that. Or do we want to introduce our million people? No, we're definitely going to introduce our million people. They're all going to say hi. Nice. That was Brent. Oh my gosh, that's awesome. Okay, all right, so we'll go around the room. I'll start to my right here. How about you say your name and then say hello.
Hello, I'm Isaac, glad to be here. Excited to see how this actually turns out with a million dudes here. I have no idea how this is going to work, man. It's going to be fantastic.
Hi, I'm Kyle, returning again. And yeah, this is going to go swimmingly.
Guest host Kyle. Guest host Kyle.
Guest host Kyle. Back again.
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Chapter 2: How do the hosts justify their primary weapon selections?
Happy to be back.
University of Texas.
Anonymous voice. Oh, all right. Wow.
Okay, now I'm his voice.
I'm Daryl, and I'm not going to take part in any of this.
That's what he thinks, but after he hears it and he's entertained or he wants to correct us, he'll step in.
I'm Andrew, returning. Thanks for having me back.
Awesome. Or some Tyler. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know what? I want to say my name again. Yeah. That's Phil. Do you say that's Phil? That's fair. Okay. So, uh, we kind of got the idea actually from my son. We were driving the car, uh, to hockey one day and he was like, dad, In the event of a zombie apocalypse, would your primary weapon be your secondary weapon and your melee weapon?
I was like, that's a great question. And it kind of feels reminiscent of a Call of Duty loadout, almost. So Ray Gun and Zeus Cannon. Nope. So we don't have a whole lot of rules behind this. One of the rules is that it has to be an actual weapon that exists today that you can carry and use on your person. So you can't say, like, a Gauss cannon or Gauss, what do they call them?
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Chapter 3: What criteria are used for selecting secondary weapons?
And then there's also, like, what's that, hypersonic weapons? Wasn't that used in Venezuela recently? Anyway. I don't know what you're talking about. All right. So since I'm going to offer a little bit of clarification to everyone in the room, I'll kind of go, I'll go first here.
and the idea behind this too is everybody needs to justify their choice for What they're gonna use and people feel free to interrupt and ask questions and to preface this we found out like two minutes ago our topic That's not true. It's been in chat for a couple weeks now. You have to read the chat. I read it sometimes You can read. I know I can't. He's college educated times two.
I am, but that doesn't really matter. All right. Five minutes in. Here we go. All right. So for my primary, I'm going to go with a shorty 300 blackout piston driven AR. Why? Get there. Let me finish it up. With a suppressor. Why? Okay.
Okay.
And that's my primary. That's pretty generic, right? And then for my secondary, I'm going to do a sawed-off, like really sawed-off double-barrel shotgun.
Mad Max style.
Mad Max style. On like a clip on my side, so I can easily grab it and flip it up. And then for my melee weapon, it's going to be a katana. Like a Samurai Katana. Like a Samurai Katana. Drawn right from The Walking Dead. For the record, I've seen like one episode of The Walking Dead and it was the first one. So I don't know anything about that.
But my reasoning behind the .300 Blackout with an FRT in it or full auto, either is fine. They're realistic. Is you want a big old bullet at a fairly short range. to be able to stop zombies, my thought was, like, you know, two to the body, not necessarily going to work, you're going to have to go for head shots, and you want to take a nice big bullet in the head.
And chances are, if you're shooting at a zombie, you're not doing it from long distances, because as soon as you take that shot, you're going to draw all the other zombies in, even if you're suppressed. Now, the suppression will help.
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Chapter 4: What melee weapons are deemed most effective in a zombie apocalypse?
Well, if you're moving quiet, though. Is your blackout suppressed? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Is your blackout suppressed? Got some subs, some supers if you need them. That's what I'm saying, but that's why I want a subsonic heavy bullet, but you lose your range. Yeah, for like if I got a shoot from it. It's situational.
It's situational. Go ahead. May I ask a clarifying question in this zombie apocalypse? Are we at this stage where everything has just fallen apart and there are still good people in the world or are we like way past that where everyone is a threat and you're just trying to survive. It's the second season.
Yeah. I mean, it's up to you, but I would say consider that like not the only like two legged threats, maybe zombies or regular non zombified humans.
Okay. But there's no food.
All stores are cleared out. Everything, right? You walk in the scavenge, you do whatever you want, man. Okay. It's up to you. But again, with 300 blackout would also be good against your regular individuals.
With anything that's suppressed, the idea behind the suppression is that if you shoot something, it doesn't necessarily make it whisper quiet, though 300 blackout subsonics gets pretty darn close, but it obfuscates your location as well. So assuming that zombie ears work similar to human ears, because they're formerly human ears, it would make it harder for you to find your location.
then the double barrel shotgun is kind of a my thought behind that was if you do get up close and you gotta like shoot something you need it dead now you're gonna want that double barrel shotgun plus it's cool it's like hanging down there on your hip right and you can whip it up and like maybe get like a holster for it like i don't think it annoying has this thing i'm gonna holster for it though oh okay yeah or you put in your backpack pull it out good to go right
And then Katana, the idea behind the Katana... He has thought about that. I have! But see, the thing is, I read the chat, like, two weeks ago.
Weren't you the one that put it in the chat?
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Chapter 5: How do the guests' weapon choices differ and why?
But my thought is, if you have a, like, where you have to use your melee weapon, and if it is Bloodborne, you want something that's gonna cut through... the target quickly and not get blood all over the place. Okay. So those are my three. Point blank, though, buckshot or even birdshot, that's going to break blood. That's true, but it's still cool. Now that's where he draws his katana.
Do you guys remember when we did the zombie question and Phil was the first one who was going to die? Okay. So if you listened to that episode, then just count your blessing.
Okay.
Hey, that's fine, but I'm going to look cool doing it. Yes, you are. Yep. And your leather chaps. All right. And apparently my leather chaps.
Going to Mad Max, you got to wear the leather chaps. That's true.
All right. So that's your primary weapon is your leather chaps? Yeah. So, Phil, I guess how do you want to do the next person? Yeah, you're going to be the next. Why am I doing the next one? Because you're prepared. Yeah. Not really. Actually, I am. Ditto. No! Weak. Boring.
And you got the degrees in this town?
Yeah, that doesn't mean anything. Well, you're Hawaiian. Don't you got to carry the spike-toothed shark-toothed sword?
Yeah, the shark-toothed sword. I'll just call them the night marchers, man. That's how we do it. I second Tyler's. Thank you for listening to the Except for Accuracy podcast.
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Chapter 6: What survival strategies are discussed for the zombie apocalypse?
Do I need to go to somebody else? No, I'm good. I'm just going to, I have a feeling that Isaac is. So my melee or melee or whatever, however is preferred. I did consider Katana. I don't, who cares? I did consider Katana, but part of me just wants a bat. I don't know, I just feel like just blunt force, like this way.
Because I feel like eventually... Two walking dead melee weapons in a row. The Bat Lucille. I haven't seen walking deads.
I have no idea. But the thing is, for me, I'm also thinking I feel like eventually a katana is going to go dull. So that's kind of where my... That's where my mind went with a katana as well. So that's kind of just really more it. So right there, just blunt force. And then also, too, I can use a bat for other... situations as well, including just blunt force to break things down.
So that's kind of where I was at with the bat. Can I ask you a question about your bat? Yeah, what up? Is it like a Louisville wooden bat or like an aluminum bat? I don't know. Probably aluminum.
Somebody ever played baseball as a kid?
No, I did not. I was raised by a single mother. Oh, here we go. The soft story.
The back story.
Play the violin.
The sad music.
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Chapter 7: How do personal biases influence weapon choices?
Yeah, Isaac, what do you got, man?
I actually didn't think of anything either. No. I would say for primary, just having an AR-15 and 5.56 readily available for ammo, parts, things break down, it's going to be easier to find than like a .300 Blackout, although obviously the .300 Blackout would be quieter when suppressed or a subsonic. But it's definitely still a suppressor on there, probably a magnifier with a red dot.
Secondary would be a .40 Mike Mike. Ooh. A what?
Pirate gun.
Yeah. Pirate gun.
Cut off. Cut off 45. Grenade launcher.
I have no idea what that is.
A grenade launcher. 40 millimeter. Let's go. Grenade launcher. Because you can have, not only, you can have rounds that are just point blank. You're blowing off a zombie's head. And then you can have your explosive rounds. If there's a room that busts open and 10 zombies bust out. Sorry, our dog.
Somebody just threw something in the wall. A dog ran into the wall. Best podcast ever. And the dog looks like Rick James. He's doing his dog. Looks sweet. So the 40 Mike Mike just on like a single point. Is this like a single shot?
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Chapter 8: What final advice do the hosts give for surviving a zombie apocalypse?
Because you've got that good leverage. I like the 40mm because I feel like if you have a big group of zombies you've got to take care of, you could arc that. I got my secondary. Oh, fine. You don't find whatever.
The 40 Mike Mike also has the Angry Bees round.
What?
15 22 long rifles fired simultaneously oh yeah explain this so it's an insert for the 40 millimeter grenade launcher it's it's a steel insert and then inside of it you unscrew the back of it and you put 15 or so 22 long rifle Screw it back up and then one primer strike fires all 15 of those rounds at once.
So just like straight out the front.
Just straight out the front of it. Just big ball of angry bees.
So is there like in the cartridge itself, is there like little... Little rifle barrels. Yeah, okay. I was wondering how you were going to get the... Is that what you got?
Well, and it's for point blank, so... Who cares about stabilized rounds? Very versatile. Yeah, of course. Small game hunting. How am I going to chronograph that? You might want to buy a few chronographs and go through one or two.
All right. Very logical choices. I love them.
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