Football Ramble

I'm not sure I understand

16 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

We're back to ruminate on the big issues, like which Man City player you'd want with you when the zombies come, Andy Carroll's magical whip and Jonath...

Premier League Preview Show: 13th January 2016

13 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

This week on your soothsaying, future influencing Football Ramble Luke fires further shots at Arsenal and their individual improvement or lack thereof...

This noble activity

09 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

This week on your rip-roaring, FA Cup-loving, four man Ramble, we're all about the magic of the cup, the magic of football team mascots and the magic ...

FA Cup Preview Show: 6th January 2017

06 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

The FA Cup is back and Spurs take on Aston Villa, Man City negotiate the potential banana skin of West Ham, Brentford face "Mad Dog" Martin "Mad Dog" ...

Dallas Does Donaldson

03 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

The Mike Dean Premier League rumbles on and on and on, Pep Guardiola gets in a right grump and there's a potential return for Sol "But I'm Sol Campbel...

Premier League Preview Show: 30th December 2016

30 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Arsenal host Big Sam's Crystal Palace in the return of #arscry, West Ham visit the wounded foxes of Leicester, Liverpool and Man City have a ding dong...

Premier League Preview Show: 23rd December 2016

23 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Chelsea rouse the players who didn't get themselves banned over Christmas for a visit from Bournemouth, Swansea host West Ham in a game with huge comi...

Superclup

19 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The London Stadium starts to pay off with excellent work from its posts, the highlight of the footballing year - the World Club Cup - comes to and end...

Premier League Preview Show: 16th December 2016

16 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Two thigh rubbers with Man City hosting Arsenal and the Merseyside derby, West Brom square up to Man United and Bournemouth host Southampton in easily...

Pardsmaths

12 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

A bad week for Bayern Munich as the absolute losers draw Arsenal in the Champions League, Leicester remember that they're champions and Alan Pardew mo...

Premier League Preview Show: 9th December 2016

09 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

European geniuses Arsenal host Stoke, Leicester welcome Guardiola's men to the home of the champions, West Brom attempt to spoil Chelsea's party at St...

Carry On Karius

05 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

It's fighting time! There were rucks everywhere this week, as well as moaning from Jose Mourinho and Chris Sutton - obviously. Elsewhere, Chelsea be h...

Premier League Preview Show: 2nd December 2016

02 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Southampton travel to Alan Pardew's Crystal Palace nightmare, Man City host Chelsea hoping they won't smash the place up with goals, Bournem...

Pete Soup

28 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Surrealist defending, managerial tantrums, battles of relegation, all the usual Premier League stuff is here. Elsewhere Owen Coyle makes his own rules...

Premier League Preview Show: 25th November 2016

25 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Chelsea invite Spurs to take it to the Bridge, Man City try to unpluck plucky Burnley, Man United host the wobbly cockneys of West Ham and S...

Unsolicited interferer

21 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

We're back but more importantly so is Yaya! Great news for him is bad news for Alan Pardew and therefore Gareth Southgate. Elsewhere Peterborough have...

Premier League Preview Show: 18th November 2016

18 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Arsenal visit Man United to try to banish some ghosts, West Ham have a pop at Spurs at the Lane and Sunderland and Hull try to be the least ...

Tramampoline! Trambopoline!

14 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

It's international week so there's England chat, a number of digs at Thomas Muller, Hulk Hogan chat, a staggering achievement from that Neymar and the...

International Preview Show: 11th November 2016

11 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

It's England vs Scotland at Wembley! It's a classic... in theory. Elsewhere France take on Sweden, Wales invite Serbia in for a chat and mighty Liecht...

Badonkadonk

07 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

It's been a shellacking-heavy weekend of football and team Ramble purr over Liverpool and Chelsea, get creative with their own culinary inventions whi...

Premier League Preview Show: 4th November 2016

04 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The form vortex of the North London Derby looms, Chelsea host Everton in the Smurf Derby, Man United make a difficult trip to Swansea and Stoke face W...

Opinion Poll

31 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This Halloween we bring you terrifying tales of Alan Pardew, David Moyes, Yaya Toure and, of course, some rogue appendages. As if that isn't frighteni...

Premier League Preview Show: 28th October 2016

27 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Man City are invited to West Brom's party, Spurs hope to face this season's Leicester rather than last, Man United see if they've got what i...

The Football Ramble Penguin Podcast Takeover

26 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

To celebrate the release of our first book, Penguin handed us the keys to their podcast studio and let us takeover the Penguin Podcast.Expect talk of ...

Decided by lottery

24 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week's show features some innovative ideas to revive flagging Premier League viewing figures, the strangeness of the Scottish League Cup is picke...

Premier League Preview Show: 21st October 2016

20 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Chelsea have their ex over as Jose Mourinho's Man United visit Stamford Bridge. Liverpool invite Tony Pulis over for a party, which he hates...

The Charlton Canyon

17 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Tony Pulis making wine with his fists, Eddie Howe legitimising the gilet, Coventry and Charlton making pigs fly... This episode has it all, including ...

Premier League Preview Show: 14th October 2016

13 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Chelsea and Leicester square off to see who will be the least wobbly, Crystal Palace welcome fighty West Ham and Arsenal take on bogey team Swansea. T...

East Bruce, West Bruce

10 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

It's the international break and England Englanded all over Malta, Wales and Scotland must try harder and the Faroe Islands march on. Elsewhere aviati...

International Preview Show: 7th October 2016

06 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

England take on the mighty Malta, Scotland invite Lithuania to a fair go, emboldened Wales host Georgia and Germany see what the Czech Republic can th...

Steve Bruce

03 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week an impressive Spurs blunt Pep's charge, a former Villa boss throws his hat back into the ring now the job's available and we hear of the Nev...

Premier League Preview Show: 30th September 2016

29 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Big... Big Sam! What?! Elsewhere, Spurs and Man City taking swings at each other, Leicester welcome Southampton into their difficult second season, Ma...

Are yao a jowdie?

26 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Jim's grin is audible following Arsenal's win over Chelsea, FIFA fix an age old problem and Pards dramatically arrests a slide. Elsewhere, a...

Premier League Preview Show: 23rd September 2016

22 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Swansea host Man City as Wawa Toure gets upset again, Man United take on Leicester following a car park training session, Arsenal look to beat Chelsea...

Droning on

19 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Klopp's got the tails in the Kop wagging as his heavy metal brand of fußball makes mincemeat of Conte's Chelsea. Things are looking pretty rosy over...

Premier League Preview Show: 16th September 2016

15 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week David Luiz makes his second Chelsea debut as Liverpool visit Stamford Bridge, European heavyweights Leicester host Burnley and Pards and Mar...

The Minstrel of the Syllable

12 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The Manchester derby was a brilliant explosion of fun, Mark Hughes is under pressure at Stoke and Scotland hits back after some recent digs. Elsewhere...

Premier League Preview Show: 9th September 2016

08 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The Manchester derby hype train is almost at the platform, Leicester rock up to a newly bouncy Anfield to take on Liverpool and Arsenal's new boys hos...

Bus for sale

05 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The Big Sam era has begun and the world cowers, starkly aware that the future is England's. Elsewhere a Scottish hat trick appears in the wild, Pete s...

International Preview Show: 2nd September 2016

02 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

In this preview show we look back at a transfer deadline day that saw players we've never heard of sold for huge wads of cash, while finding time to l...

Dinosaurs and geniuses

29 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

We're back and it's that time of the year where British managers complain about not being given a chance! Elsewhere Leighton Baines missed a penalty h...

Premier League Preview Show: 26th August 2016

26 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Spurs host confused and confusing Liverpool, Everton invite Stoke to bring it and Leicester look to get their foxy teeth into Swansea's swan...

Fido Dido vs Cool Spot

22 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Big things this week as we talk niche quiz knowledge, Wings - restaurant not band - and Zlatan. Elsewhere,Moorestradamus makes an official prediction....

Premier League Preview Show: 19th August 2016

19 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The Premier League rumbles in to week two with some red hot Friday night action as Pogba readies himself for debut II in the Man Utd v Southampton gam...

There's not mush-room for football chat

15 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The Premier League starts as unpredictably as it ended as Hull City prove players and a manager are unnecessary in the modern game. Arsenal continue t...

Premier League Preview Show: 12th August 2016

12 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The Premier League is back as champions Leicester start their title defence at disheveled Hull. Pep Guardiola's Man City step out at Sunderland, Evert...

What we did this summer

08 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

We're back! There's pre-season tournament chat, Community Shield chat, Zlat-chat, Edmundo chat and the story of why Pete isn't a vet. Find us online a...

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!

22 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

We have big news, exclusively revealed in this SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. Has Marcus revealed who he supports? Will we finally tell you what happened to Pe...

Fin

10 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Despite the best efforts of the Parisian moth community the final of Euro 2016 went ahead and it was a scintillating triumph for Mark Clattenburg. We ...

Cockerel chests

08 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

It's France vs Portugal in the final and we look at what this means for Michel Platini, discuss a worrying Harry Redknapp related wording and hear abo...

Sympathy for the Bale

07 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

It's sadly over for Wales but what a run. The team marvel at this and the new adventures of Super Ronaldo and learn of Marcus' #travels as he for some...

For the Empire!

03 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Wales march on and we are frankly jealous, France beat Iceland and we are frankly jealous, Portugal grind on, Germany get it done with the help of Sim...

Sigur Dróss

28 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

It's that time again, when the Football Ramble rally themselves to dissect England's latest international disaster. Wow. Just... Wow. Elsewhere Italy,...

Ramble Origins: Testicle Matt

26 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

It's business time and teams are going home. It's all so sudden but Wales stay strong, Giorgio Chiellini plots revenge, Marc Wilmots reveals the worst...

Squadron Commander the Lord Flashheart

23 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The group stages are over and the Home Nations, Ireland, Iceland, Hungary and absolutely everyone got through! Elsewhere the ever entertaining Ronaldo...

Defcon 3.5

21 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

It's the morning after the night before and... it wasn't actually that bad, was it? However, the word "disgrace" features a lot, there's jealousy towa...

Selfie-ish

19 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Ronaldo's back with the ill behaviour as we pore over Euro 2016's finest offerings. Featuring an Irish drubbing, Kiraly's joggers and the return of Te...

Bring your lanyards

16 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The Ramblers convene to absorb England and Wales' Euro ding dong, analyse Cristiano Ronaldo's small mentality and worry about their goals scored predi...

Scratch and sniff

13 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Pete returns from his trip back in time, Jogi Low has a disturbing double rummage, Jonathan Pearce and Lee Dixon get creative and on top of all this ...

Oh for f...

11 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

England have Englanded and made the Ramblers all sad but don't worry, they have experience in this so raised themselves to do a show. It's OK! It coul...

It's always nice to have a Marcus in there, ladies

08 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The Euros are here! Nearly! The Ramblers are excited and preview every group, open their stickers and seal the traditional pre-tournament predictions ...

Reggae Boys!

30 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The boys pick over the latest Battle of Wherever Pepe Is, otherwise known as the Champions League final, the football league play offs and England's b...

Beep Alan beep Pardew

23 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

It's all going off this week as cups are won all over Europe and someone punches a horse on the bum. We learn that Wayne Rooney will win England the E...

FA Cup Final Preview Show: 20th May 2016

20 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The finals come thick and fast from the FA Cup, Scottish Cup and Champions League. Elsewhere Rene Meulensteen pipes up again, we hear of Isco's canine...

Patent no. GB1415442.1 terminated before grant

16 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The Premier League, La Liga, Serie A and co might be done for the season but never fear, the Ramble has nothing better to do. This week we pore over t...

Premier League Preview Show: 13th May 2016

13 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The relegations are in! Big Sam was like the cat with the gravy at the Stadium of Light, while Roberto Martinez niced his way out of a job. Coming up ...

Deflatables

09 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Leicester pass the test of lifting the Premier League trophy while Everton and Newcastle pass the test of being muggy little sloths. In othe...

Premier League Preview Show: 5th May 2016

06 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Champions Leicester (!) and the Battle of the Bridge is pored over ahead of the Foxes' trip to Everton. Arsenal visit Man City hoping they play like a...

We h8

02 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Leicester toil against Man utd, Rafa's lot manage an unlikely win against Bolasie and boys, and sloths will be mentioned. Find us online at thefootbal...

Premier League Preview Show: 29th April 2016

29 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Can Leicester overcome plucky Man United to win the league at Old Trafford? Can Chelsea thwart visiting Spurs if not? Can Newcastle deal with the retu...

Gout shout

25 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Pards is back on top and when Pards is happy the Ramble is happy. Mostly. Elsewhere Leicester ramp it up, Rafa comes home to pick up some goals he lef...

Premier League Preview Show: 22nd April 2016

22 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week on the Football Ramble Preview Show, the boys take a look ahead to the FA Cup Semi Finals, as well as finding time to take in the Premier Le...

Chimp chat

17 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Jamie Vardy's having a barney as the team dissect the surprisingly avant garde Jon Moss Show and feel the weight lifted from Joleon Lescott'...

Premier League Preview Show: 15th April 2016

15 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Norwich "entertain" Sunderland in a relegation six pointer, Leicester invite West Ham to get banged, Chelsea and Man City eke out a dead rubber and Ar...

A little bit pathetic

11 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Graeme Souness takes some inspiration from Garth Crooks, Louis Van Gaal misunderstands how goals work and Marcus reveals a surprising new pr...

Premier League Preview Show: 8th April 2016

08 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Diz week Spurs host Man United and Louis Van Gaal's accent, West Ham welcome the TV stars of Arsenal and Liverpool could do absolutely anything agains...

Hubbly bubbly

04 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Team Ramble chat doping, Newcastle's continuing malady and the unquenchable fury of Sergio Ramos. Also there's yet more news of Pete's indis...

Premier League Preview Show: 1st April 2016

01 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Internationals are done for a bit so we're back with the quality of Leicester vs Southampton and the almost guaranteed slapstick of Norwich vs Newcast...

Artificial gravy clouds

28 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

It's official; England have basically won the Euros! Listen in as the boys dissect the Three Lions' annihilation of Germany's sporting history, discus...

International Preview Show: 25th March 2016

25 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

It's international time which means Germany vs England and some Jack Wilshere themed wrath. Roy Keane gets Ireland fired up for their match with Switz...

Geordie jumpers

21 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Things get serious as Aleksander Mitrovic and Harry Kane challenge Alan Shearer's Premier League scoring record, Pegguy Arphexad doth protest too much...

Premier League Preview Show: 18th March 2016

18 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The Manchester derby is upon us, promising a nervous game of wits. The Tyne-Wear derby is also upon us, promising whatever the opposite of that is. Pa...

Yorkie claws

14 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week the team try to figure out how to introduce Rafa to the North East, Pete attempts to wow us with his ideas for Dragon's Den, and there's ple...

Premier League Preview Show: 11th March 2016

11 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Alan Pardew and Brian McDermott duke it out to be crowned King of Friday Night in the FA Cup while Chelsea have at Everton and Arsenal try not to wobb...

Go home, I'm calling your dad

07 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Leicester win the North London Derby, Uncle Avram makes a return his employers aren't happy about and Pete risks another Tino Asprilla block...

Premier League Preview Show: 4th March 2016

04 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The supposedly form defying North London Derby looms large and middle flying Everton host high flying West Ham. Tony Pulis plans to spoil the Man Unit...

Title challenged

29 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Leicester pass their Norwich exam, Arsenal and Jim have their annual meltdowns and FIFA ride again. Meanwhile, Pete steps on some famous toe...

Premier League Preview Show: 26th Feb 2016

26 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Liverpool have the home dressing room advantage over Man City in the League Cup final and Leicester face their latest in an endless series o...

A Dutch Ramble

22 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week the Ramblers talk coin tossers, hissy team selections and red card frenzies. Elsewhere old dog material is revisited and there's some devast...

FA Cup Fifth Round Preview Show: 19th Feb 2016

19 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The FA Cup is back and Arsenal and Hull go at it for a third year running, Reading and West Brom get all nervy and Blackburn host West 'am. Spurs hope...

The King of Spain

15 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week the Ramblers discuss this confusingly brilliant title race, the cult of Denis Cheryshev and Barcelona's scintillating lack of respect. Also,...

Premier League Preview Show: 12th Feb 2016

12 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Arsenal host apple cart destroyers Leicester and Man City and Spurs try to figure out who wants a title bid most. Over at Villa Park Liverpo...

Markus Mark and the Funky Bunch

08 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Leicester earn the right to be known simply as "City", ticket prices across the land are scoffed at and Mark Kermode is called out to settle...

Premier League Preview Show: 5th Feb 2016

05 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Man City take on valiant superheroes Leicester and Chelsea take on Man United, figuring they may as well. Elsewhere Arsenal lumber down to B...

Sans Pellegrini

02 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week the famous magical traditional FA Cup is pored over and Deadline Day is mercifully overshadowed by Pep Guardiola. Elsewhere the usual chat a...

FA Cup Fourth Round Preview Show: 29th Jan 2016

29 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

FA Cup time again! Derby and Man United duke it out on the telly and MK Dons take on the minnows of Chelsea. Carlisle hope that Everton will be in gen...

Catapults fired

26 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Spurs are confirmed as champions, the Premier League table is called a liar and Javier Mascherano can't quite concentrate on his game. Elsew...

Premier League Preview Show: 22nd Jan 2016

22 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week the Ramblers wonder how El Chapo would run things ahead of Arsenal vs Chelsea before pondering West Brom and Aston Villa's derby/war of attr...

Yachty potty

18 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week the Ramblettes look back over the wreckage of Everton's trip to Stamford Bridge, the return of Jonjo Shelvey causes delight and... there's a...

Premier League Preview Show: 15th Jan 2016

15 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

The Ramblers look ahead to Chelsea and Everton's blue off, Aston Villa's attempts to shackle Leicester and Liverpool's hosting of best buds Man United...