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Football Ramble

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And we’re off: Russia take charge, Uruguay, Egypt and Group B to come...

15 Jun 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Our excitement - and snack budgets - are off the scale as the World Cup finally begins. There’s discussion of Robbie Williams and his relevance, ITV...

It’s almost here: England anticipate, big news from Spain and Argentina jet out in style

13 Jun 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Harry Kane talking about England being aggressive, Russia looking to defy their critics, the “hench brutes” of Uruguay, Panama’s hats, Big Herve...

A World Cup injury special in association with patient.info

07 Jun 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Good news: It's bonus Ramble time!Injuries. Every World Cup has them. Nobody likes them but they’re simply a part of the game. Sometimes their impac...

Fever to Tell: England get a win, some big guns slip up and ohGodit’snearlytime!

04 Jun 2018

Contributed by Lukas

We can hardly contain our excitement as the WORLD CUP is almost visible in the distance! Gareth Southgate’s heroic England dispatched Nigeria at Wem...

The Football Ramble HISTORY Specials: Beckham kicks Diego Simeone in the 1998 England vs Argentina game

29 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

David Beckham is not short of iconic moments for England, but perhaps the most memorable and important came when he was sent off against Argentina for...

La Decimocertero: Real win three in a row, Fulham and Rotherham up, World Cup fev-o-meter goes into overdrive…

28 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

So, club football is all but done for another season, and how. We look back at Gareth Bale’s acrobatics, Sergio Ramos’ villainy and Lorius Karius’...

The Football Ramble HISTORY Specials: Zinedine Zidane's headbutt in the 2006 final

25 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Zinedine Zidane. One of the finest players ever to grace the game went into the 2006 World Cup knowing it would be his swan song. We relive the moment...

Just scar tissue: The Champions League final, the play-offs and Unai in

24 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Ooh It’s bidness time! The play-off and Champions League finals are fast approaching and we are excited! We discuss Cristiano’s biological age, Ju...

The Football Ramble HISTORY Specials: Ronaldo's performance during the 1998 final

22 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Drama, intrigue, Stephane Guivarc’h; the 1998 World Cup final had it all, with the mystery surrounding Ronaldo’s omission and subsequent reinstate...

Oh boy: Chelsea win the FA Cup, Mike Ashley gets bolshy, Celtic win another treb

21 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back to reflect on what is sure to become known as The Phil Jones final after Chelsea ran out winners against Man United in the FA Cup. It was...

The Football Ramble HISTORY Specials: Roberto Baggio’s penalty miss in the 1994 final

18 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

How we love Roberto Baggio. He was one of the biggest stars on the planet going into USA ’94, and so a memorable tournament was expected. But when l...

$kwadd Fre$hNe$$: The England squad is announced, the FA Cup final looms and Big Sam says goodbye

17 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

England only need a standard sized jet after Gareth Southgate played it safe and named just 23 players in his World Cup squad but it’s still enough ...

The Football Ramble HISTORY Specials: Cameroon beat Argentina in the opening match of Italia 90

15 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

For the first of our HISTORY specials we take a look back at the opening game of Italia ’90, when an unheralded and unknown Cameroon shocked the wor...

Piano Man: Wembley hosts a thriller, City hit 100 points and Wenger and Carrick say goodbye

14 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Another Premier League season comes to an end! We learn that Pep Guardiola can cut it in England, learn of Alan Shearer’s unorthodox stress relief m...

Wagner Love: Relegation is settled, City break records and Yaya says “ta ta”

10 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Huddersfield and Southampton have ruined our hopes for a dramatic final day relegation scrap but there’s plenty of fun to be had as the Saints final...

Pert and juicy: Stoke go down, West Brom cling on, Brighton survive…

07 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

We can confirm that BRIGHTON ARE SAFE! David “The Ferryman” Moyes has also turned West Ham’s season around and rowed it back to shore, and our b...

RATS: The Champions League excites, Jose has a favourite and West Ham have work to do

03 May 2018

Contributed by Lukas

As expected, a certain young man won big at Man United’s end of season awards (forever more known as The Scotties), Liverpool shun game management i...

More dustbin hearts: United say goodbye to Wenger, Southampton get a crucial win and Big Sam takes flak

30 Apr 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Pete returns from his American adventure, unable to work the production buttons, and to find that despite recent events Arsenal’s scriptwriters are ...

Salahbrate: Liverpool dominate Roma, Wenger heads to Old Trafford and Wilf Zaha speaks out

26 Apr 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Liverpool dazzled us all in the Champions League but what will happen when their unstoppable force meets the immovable object of Paul Lambert? We can ...

Stoke the Musical: Arsene Wenger bids us adieu, Man United and Chelsea head back to Wembley and Sunderland go down

23 Apr 2018

Contributed by Lukas

The day we thought would never arrive is finally here, as Arsene Wenger announces that he’s leaving Arsenal and we pay our respects through tears, i...

Chillax: FA Cup semi-finals loom, Burnley smell blood and Zlatan breaks America

19 Apr 2018

Contributed by Lukas

We focus our dustbin hearts on perceptions of Paul Pogba, Arsenal’s potential summer of chaos and this weekend’s forthcoming Mike Dean Festival, b...

Flannels: United hand City the title, Southampton struggle and Wolves seal promotion

16 Apr 2018

Contributed by Lukas

What a sparkling end to a vintage title race! We look back over West Brom winning the title at Old Trafford (for Man City), Southampton’s latest ind...

In bins: The Champions League explodes, Harry Kane gets his goal and Mic Drop Mick’s had enough

12 Apr 2018

Contributed by Lukas

We delight in a seismic week of football where Gigi Buffon lets his emotions get the better of him, agent of chaos Sergio Ramos excels himself and Pep...

Respect the dogs: United make City wait, Big Sam causes unrest and Napoli get us giddy

09 Apr 2018

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back from Naples and though pieces of us will remain there forever we’ve raced into the studio to bring you our wares. There are mentions fo...

Michel Vroom: Liverpool brush City aside, Everton brace themselves and Man United look to put next door’s party on hold

05 Apr 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Liverpool get us all giddy after their scintillating display against a rattled Man City, Mick McCarthy weighs up whether he can be bothered with the W...

Taxi for Pards: Alan leaves West Brom, Spurs win the Battle of the Bridge and Zlatan steals the show

02 Apr 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Easter you lot! We drag ourselves to the studio even on a Bank Holiday to bring you news of Alan Pardew’s departure from West Brom, David Wagn...

Steak and Barry pie: England march on, the Premier League returns and Carlos Tevez continues his reign of terror

29 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

England’s 1-1 draw was so promising that known misog Pete Donaldson is getting excited, even if he does also treble down on a pre-existing gripe. To...

The milk sweats: England crush the Dutch, Scotland look to the future and Ronaldo puffs out his chest

26 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

England took on the Netherlands and gave us reasons to make noises, get excited about the World Cup and talk about Bas Dost, three things that are fra...

Walter Tull: Profile of a Pioneer

23 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

100 years ago this weekend, Walter Tull was killed in action in the First World War. While not a name that immediately springs to mind when we think o...

Good Dog, Mad Dog: England prepare to face the Netherlands, Germany take on Spain and Gareth Bale coins it in for Wales

22 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Richard E Grant, Starbucks, “adult“ Froobs… it’s international week so things get weird quickly!We discuss England’s goalkeeping situation a...

Salah Days: Mo shines for Liverpool, Mourinho sulks in victory and the England squad… inspires.

19 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Sadly the FA Cup delivered no cupsets but we still enjoyed it, certainly more than Luke Shaw will have after another dressing down from Jose Mourinho,...

Sans Pellegrino: Man United and Chelsea out of Europe, FA Cup action and Hughes in at Southampton

15 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Man United are out of Europe but according to Jose Mourinho it’s happened before and it’ll happen again so it’s fine, Lionel Messi gives Chelsea...

You can’t go home again: Chaos at West Ham, Jose Mourinho blunts Liverpool and Newcastle gain momentum

12 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Another chaotic week at West Ham as they took on both Burnley and themselves, Man United did some very interesting things to Jurgen Klopp’s face and...

Raucous but peaceful: Spurs exit the Champions League, Liverpool visit Old Trafford and the relegation battle heats up

08 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Juventus and their sentient statue Giorgio Chiellini bring Spurs’ Champions League dream to an end, Aleksandar Mitrovic rubs further salt into Geord...

The Football Ramble Shredder: Shred Harder

06 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Dear Listeners,Once again we want to show some love to the many of you who send in your correspondence. In this special you’ll hear us discuss a pot...

Big Sam and The Drifters: Swansea march on, Chelsea clam up at Man City and Arsenal’s woes continue…

05 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

The lining of Carlos Carvalhal’s jacket inspires his rejuvenated Swans to victory over generous West Ham, Arsenal’s holograms at least manage cons...

Rafael the Gaffael: Spurs win in the Wembley snow, fears for Chelsea as they visit the Etihad and Liverpool vs Newcastle promises goals…

01 Mar 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Both snow and goals fell heavily at Wembley as Spurs march on in the FA Cup, Burnley and Everton brick up their nets and scoff at the very idea of som...

Play Up Pompeii: Man City win the Carabao Cup, Jose Mourinho gets one over on Antonio Conte and Alan Pardew needs to get busy

26 Feb 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Pep Guardiola gets his first trophy as Man City manager, inspires another dissection of Arsenal and is accused of harbouring a fugitive all at once, w...

Sol Campbell is COMPLETELY NORMAL: Wigan shock Man City again, Man United and Chelsea face off and Liverpool look to march on…

22 Feb 2018

Contributed by Lukas

The FA Cup has delivered again, as just when it looked like Man City might win everything, up stepped Wigan, and then for some reason Peter Reid.&nbsp...

Little Earthquakes: Rochdale hold Spurs, West Brom suffer after Taxigate and Man United fall afoul of VAR

19 Feb 2018

Contributed by Lukas

This week brings wonderful drama from the FA Cup courtesy of Rochdale and their manager Keith Hill, a man who in a way is all of our dads, Carlos Carv...

WikiPetes: Man City and Liverpool break records in Europe, Carvalhal returns to Sheffield and Wigan look for another FA Cup upset

15 Feb 2018

Contributed by Lukas

After a time getting acquainted with Claude Puel’s radiator Riyad Mahrez is ready for FA Cup action, as are Spurs as they head to Rochdale’s obsta...

Outspent by Wrexham: The North London derby, victorious Newcastle and penalty drama at Stoke

12 Feb 2018

Contributed by Lukas

This show features that rarest of beasts; a happy Pete Donaldson, giddy from a Newcastle win and a mutant chicken binge. Not only that, we have the No...

Never kiss a man’s hat

08 Feb 2018

Contributed by Lukas

The North London Derby looms and will be particularly interesting as diving has now officially been declared fine, Ederson eases Man City’s injury c...

Wanyamarama

05 Feb 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Jurgen Klopp pops his top at Anfield after more referee related grievances (but luckily Pete’s devised a novel way to improve them once and for all)...

100 Broken Windows

01 Feb 2018

Contributed by Lukas

As another transfer window slams dramatically and confusingly shut we do our best to assess who has done well and what Arsenal were actually planning,...

Newcastle United: The Mike Ashley Years

30 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

And there you were thinking there'd be no action at St James's Park on Transfer Deadline Day!As promised in the 12 Rambles of Christmas we’re back t...

Having a giraffe

29 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

The FA Cup rolls on with a delightful cameo from Shola Ameobi, West Ham fans get angry and we hear more tales of humility from Man of the People Carlo...

Marcus Smeller

25 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

It’s FA Cup weekend again and Marcus’ soothsmelling nose sniffs a cup upset, the Class of ’92 make some noise to check that nobody has forgotten...

Liberal with the widdle

22 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

An eventful show as Watford engage in their traditional managerial sacking, Man United and Arsenal engage in the lesser-spotted swap deal and Chelsea ...

Earthworm Sean

19 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus returns from Argentina and even beef lag can’t keep him down, especially not when there’s talk of Andy Carroll moving to Chelsea, the crimi...

Storry sleemps to beef the hardgest worbd

15 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Wow! Liverpool vindicate one of Moorestradamus’ recent visions with a narrative-shredding performance at Anfield, the bottom end of the table heats ...

This bird bath was opened by Linford Grimes

12 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Bristol City provide the gifs that keep on giffing after their narrowbao Carabao Cup defeat to Man City, Chelsea and Arsenal play second fiddle to the...

Forest fire

08 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

The 3rd round of the FA Cup doesn’t disappoint as it features upsets, wonder goals and gallon upon gallon of claret. We dissect Arsenal’s fey misa...

Access to the Groove

05 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Arsene Wenger’s crusade against referees continues as he blows his top following a pulsating draw with Chelsea, Swansea and Spurs overcome a Bible-l...

Schrodinger’s Klopp

02 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back in a brand new year and there has been sooo much football. The Mark Hughes fuse looks close to blowing, Liverpool get good at dragging ga...

Alan Shorn

29 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Hello! It’s that weird week between Christmas and new year where nobody knows what day it is but it’s fine because there’s loads of football, an...

12RofC No.1: Lionel Messi v Cristiano Ronaldo

24 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

At the top spot on our list, it's the two greatest players to have ever lived. It would be fantastic had just one of these men come along at the same ...

12RofC No.2: The End of the Alex Ferguson Era

23 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Potentially the greatest club manager to have ever walked the Earth, Sir Alex Ferguson retired in 2013 after 26 years and an astonishing 38 trophies a...

12RofC No.3: Pep Guardiola's Barcelona

22 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Arguably the greatest club side we've ever seen, Pep Guardiola's Barcelona were the team that swept aside all before them, playing an irresistible ble...

Fog flares

22 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

As yuletide approaches we discuss Bristol City’s EFL Cup win over Man United and Lee Johnson’s sadly redundant and expensive wine, Swansea running...

12RofC No.4: The Demise of Sepp Blatter & FIFA

21 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

In 2015, the wheels finally fell off Sepp Blatter's corrupt FIFA vehicle, an event that was celebrated far and wide by just about every football fan. ...

12RofC No.5: Spain's Era of Dominance

20 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

No international team has typified the last ten years of football better than Spain and their three trophies in a row between 2008 and 2012. With a gr...

12RofC No.6: The Cult of Jose Mourinho

19 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

No manager has quite had the impact on football since 2007, both on and off the field, of Jose Mourinho. Even when not managing in England his shadow ...

Heads or tails

18 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s uncouth army roll into North London and leave with nothing, Man City do their thing against Spurs but there’s a surprising consolation for ...

12RofC No.7: Leicester City win the Premier League in 2016

18 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Well, this one was always likely to be in there somewhere wasn’t it! 18 months on from that incredible season in which Claudio Ranieri's Leicester C...

12RofC No.8: Brazil 1-7 Germany

17 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Without a doubt the biggest single result to occur during our time broadcasting, Brazil's humbling by Germany on their own patch in the semi-final sta...

12RofC No.9: Man City Win Their First Premier League Title in 2012

16 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

After big investment, the other half of Manchester had high hopes and big intentions of dining at football's top table but they knew they needed a lea...

12RofC No.10: Portsmouth Win the FA Cup in 2008

15 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

After the depression of yesterday, here's something positive to bounce back with and yes this is Luke writing these synopses. Portsmouth triumphed glo...

Tunnel vision

15 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

It’s still kicking off in that tunnel even ages after it actually kicked off in the tunnel as Man City’s continuing excellence makes Jose Mourinho...

12RofC No.11: England Fail to Qualify for Euro 2008

14 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

In at number 11 in our countdown is Steve McClaren and England's ill-fated attempt at qualifying for Euro 2008. New in the job, Steve was tasked with ...

12RofC No.12: The First African World Cup is held in South Africa in 2010

13 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

The first of our countdown of the biggest moments, themes and events of the last ten years comes in the shape of World Cup 2010. The first tournament ...

The Great Ruckus of Old Trafford

11 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Derbies galore as Man City take their noisy neighbours tag very seriously and wind up Jose Mourinho, only partially by beating his team, Big Sam hits ...

Apologies to the Queen May

08 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

This time around we chat about some geologically scintillating stuff from Liverpool ahead of Everton’s visit to Anfield on Sunday, a fixture so...

Semis, at least…

04 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back once again, not unlike the renegade master, to discuss a frankly superb goalkeeping performance from David De Gea, wobbly yet winny Man C...

Kurt Zouma and The Zoumalators

01 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Big Sam Allardyce and Alan Pardew returning to the fold in the same week? What a Ramble bonanza/sign of just how many chances these particular British...

Quango Unchained

27 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Gary Megson displays some gigantic cojones after steering West Brom to a draw against Spurs at Wembley Hart Lane, a lightning powered footballer emerg...

Heirloom Tomatoes

24 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

We wait with bated breath for West Brom to announce Alan ‘Party Pards’ Pardew as their new boss so the season can truly begin. How we’ve missed ...

The Managerial Meggy-go-round

20 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

The managerial merry-go-round is either working perfectly or completely broken depending on who you are. Tony Pulis leaves us for the time being, whil...

Donaldson Slams Cricket

17 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Even though they were just friendlies England have got us all worked up about the World Cup again as we chat about the draw, groups of death and a lon...

Pods from the Big Chair

13 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

There have been so many international fixtures it’s as if it’s all building up to some kind of World’s Fair of football. There have been 0-0 thr...

Spice up your life

10 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

It’s international week and England’s innovative conceptual interpretation of a squad prepare to batter known melts Germany and Brazil. There...

The Football Ramble Shredder: 1

09 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Here at Ramble HQ we get a huge amount of emails and don't always have the time to get through them all on our two regular weekly shows. So, to that e...

West Ham: Ragnorak

06 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

West Ham kindly sacked Slaven Bilic before we recorded this time around enabling us to go to town on the Hammers, including Andy Carroll’s fairly ro...

John Fantastic and The Ramblers

03 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

A frothy show as we enjoy the exploits of Spurs and young Harry Billy Winks, the lines on Pep Guardiola’s forehead visibly smooth out as he enjoys l...

Under the fingernails of football

30 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Joe Hart is despondent, and we mean really despondent, after West Ham conceded a 97th minute equaliser to Big Roy and his boys. Basically everyone is ...

Ooh, Southampton Friend

27 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

There’s trouble in paradise in hit drama Wembley Lane as we see evidence of a new BFF in Dele Alli’s life, Diego Maradona’s trip to London conti...

Harry The Bruce

23 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Frankly, if you're Dejan Lovren you should probably swerve this one. Poor guy. We look at Spurs getting cosy at Wembley and a doozy at Goodison Park w...

Circus for sale

20 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

We maraud across football like David Luiz marauds across a football pitch, with Big Sam heading Stateside, Leicester getting bored and hitting their p...

Dusty Ballbag

16 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

As a weird dust cloud floats over Ramble HQ we lose ourselves over Roy Hodgson shuffling Crystal Palace into life, Man City playing the best football ...

Skeletons and closets

13 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Football! Everywhere! There's World Cup qualification drama, the Premier League diving straight back in with Liverpool vs Man United and... David Moye...

The Heaton's On

09 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

This week we continue our deeply-held passion for international football and discuss what merry old England do now qualification is assured, how Scotl...

A bulldog sipping tea from a bowler hat

06 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

It's a crunch international break and Ramble HQ is stricken with World Cup fever, though there's bad news for Joe Hart and an exciting endorsement fro...

Because you're worth it

02 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Our favourite Northern prince returns from the Far East to much fanfare (most of which is warranted, we suppose), the Champions League is dished out e...

Roys 'R' Us

29 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Diego Costa has a lovely time parading himself around Atletico's shiny new stadium before Chelsea get one over on him, there's a striker crisis for Cr...

Fat Bribes

25 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Liverpool’s whirlwind approach to how to play the game continues apace, we marvel as Wayne Rooney turns into the Terminator in front of our very eye...

What would your dad think?

22 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Spurs take some pressure off Arsenal with an embarrassing video, Jurgen Klopp's defence continues to wobble and Jose Mourinho is intent on destroying ...

Come Down to the Algarve

18 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

The boys take much delight in Luke having his backside burned in the hot seat, Arsenal manage to not disgrace themselves on the TV away from home and ...

Hornet in the Wind

15 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Get ready for a bumper edition of football strangeness this week as Andre Villas-Boas brings forth a contender for best conspiracy theory ever, we hea...

Shaken

11 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Frank de Boer's time at Crystal Palace is no de moer, Chris Sutton defends the honour of Sadio Mane's flying boot and even Mark Hughes thinks this who...

The Football Ramble. DG.

08 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

We open the show with talk of exciting opportunities for John Motson as he retires from the BBC, digs from Jamie Vardy and the rumble of yet more plan...

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