Football Ramble

Storry sleemps to beef the hardgest worbd

15 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Wow! Liverpool vindicate one of Moorestradamus’ recent visions with a narrative-shredding performance at Anfield, the bottom end of the table heats ...

This bird bath was opened by Linford Grimes

12 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Bristol City provide the gifs that keep on giffing after their narrowbao Carabao Cup defeat to Man City, Chelsea and Arsenal play second fiddle to the...

Forest fire

08 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

The 3rd round of the FA Cup doesn’t disappoint as it features upsets, wonder goals and gallon upon gallon of claret. We dissect Arsenal’s fey misa...

Access to the Groove

05 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Arsene Wenger’s crusade against referees continues as he blows his top following a pulsating draw with Chelsea, Swansea and Spurs overcome a Bible-l...

Schrodinger’s Klopp

02 Jan 2018

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back in a brand new year and there has been sooo much football. The Mark Hughes fuse looks close to blowing, Liverpool get good at dragging ga...

Alan Shorn

29 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Hello! It’s that weird week between Christmas and new year where nobody knows what day it is but it’s fine because there’s loads of football, an...

12RofC No.1: Lionel Messi v Cristiano Ronaldo

24 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

At the top spot on our list, it's the two greatest players to have ever lived. It would be fantastic had just one of these men come along at the same ...

12RofC No.2: The End of the Alex Ferguson Era

23 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Potentially the greatest club manager to have ever walked the Earth, Sir Alex Ferguson retired in 2013 after 26 years and an astonishing 38 trophies a...

12RofC No.3: Pep Guardiola's Barcelona

22 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Arguably the greatest club side we've ever seen, Pep Guardiola's Barcelona were the team that swept aside all before them, playing an irresistible ble...

Fog flares

22 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

As yuletide approaches we discuss Bristol City’s EFL Cup win over Man United and Lee Johnson’s sadly redundant and expensive wine, Swansea running...

12RofC No.4: The Demise of Sepp Blatter & FIFA

21 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

In 2015, the wheels finally fell off Sepp Blatter's corrupt FIFA vehicle, an event that was celebrated far and wide by just about every football fan. ...

12RofC No.5: Spain's Era of Dominance

20 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

No international team has typified the last ten years of football better than Spain and their three trophies in a row between 2008 and 2012. With a gr...

12RofC No.6: The Cult of Jose Mourinho

19 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

No manager has quite had the impact on football since 2007, both on and off the field, of Jose Mourinho. Even when not managing in England his shadow ...

Heads or tails

18 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s uncouth army roll into North London and leave with nothing, Man City do their thing against Spurs but there’s a surprising consolation for ...

12RofC No.7: Leicester City win the Premier League in 2016

18 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Well, this one was always likely to be in there somewhere wasn’t it! 18 months on from that incredible season in which Claudio Ranieri's Leicester C...

12RofC No.8: Brazil 1-7 Germany

17 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Without a doubt the biggest single result to occur during our time broadcasting, Brazil's humbling by Germany on their own patch in the semi-final sta...

12RofC No.9: Man City Win Their First Premier League Title in 2012

16 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

After big investment, the other half of Manchester had high hopes and big intentions of dining at football's top table but they knew they needed a lea...

12RofC No.10: Portsmouth Win the FA Cup in 2008

15 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

After the depression of yesterday, here's something positive to bounce back with and yes this is Luke writing these synopses. Portsmouth triumphed glo...

Tunnel vision

15 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

It’s still kicking off in that tunnel even ages after it actually kicked off in the tunnel as Man City’s continuing excellence makes Jose Mourinho...

12RofC No.11: England Fail to Qualify for Euro 2008

14 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

In at number 11 in our countdown is Steve McClaren and England's ill-fated attempt at qualifying for Euro 2008. New in the job, Steve was tasked with ...

12RofC No.12: The First African World Cup is held in South Africa in 2010

13 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

The first of our countdown of the biggest moments, themes and events of the last ten years comes in the shape of World Cup 2010. The first tournament ...

The Great Ruckus of Old Trafford

11 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Derbies galore as Man City take their noisy neighbours tag very seriously and wind up Jose Mourinho, only partially by beating his team, Big Sam hits ...

Apologies to the Queen May

08 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

This time around we chat about some geologically scintillating stuff from Liverpool ahead of Everton’s visit to Anfield on Sunday, a fixture so...

Semis, at least…

04 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back once again, not unlike the renegade master, to discuss a frankly superb goalkeeping performance from David De Gea, wobbly yet winny Man C...

Kurt Zouma and The Zoumalators

01 Dec 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Big Sam Allardyce and Alan Pardew returning to the fold in the same week? What a Ramble bonanza/sign of just how many chances these particular British...

Quango Unchained

27 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Gary Megson displays some gigantic cojones after steering West Brom to a draw against Spurs at Wembley Hart Lane, a lightning powered footballer emerg...

Heirloom Tomatoes

24 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

We wait with bated breath for West Brom to announce Alan ‘Party Pards’ Pardew as their new boss so the season can truly begin. How we’ve missed ...

The Managerial Meggy-go-round

20 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

The managerial merry-go-round is either working perfectly or completely broken depending on who you are. Tony Pulis leaves us for the time being, whil...

Donaldson Slams Cricket

17 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Even though they were just friendlies England have got us all worked up about the World Cup again as we chat about the draw, groups of death and a lon...

Pods from the Big Chair

13 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

There have been so many international fixtures it’s as if it’s all building up to some kind of World’s Fair of football. There have been 0-0 thr...

Spice up your life

10 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

It’s international week and England’s innovative conceptual interpretation of a squad prepare to batter known melts Germany and Brazil. There...

The Football Ramble Shredder: 1

09 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Here at Ramble HQ we get a huge amount of emails and don't always have the time to get through them all on our two regular weekly shows. So, to that e...

West Ham: Ragnorak

06 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

West Ham kindly sacked Slaven Bilic before we recorded this time around enabling us to go to town on the Hammers, including Andy Carroll’s fairly ro...

John Fantastic and The Ramblers

03 Nov 2017

Contributed by Lukas

A frothy show as we enjoy the exploits of Spurs and young Harry Billy Winks, the lines on Pep Guardiola’s forehead visibly smooth out as he enjoys l...

Under the fingernails of football

30 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Joe Hart is despondent, and we mean really despondent, after West Ham conceded a 97th minute equaliser to Big Roy and his boys. Basically everyone is ...

Ooh, Southampton Friend

27 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

There’s trouble in paradise in hit drama Wembley Lane as we see evidence of a new BFF in Dele Alli’s life, Diego Maradona’s trip to London conti...

Harry The Bruce

23 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Frankly, if you're Dejan Lovren you should probably swerve this one. Poor guy. We look at Spurs getting cosy at Wembley and a doozy at Goodison Park w...

Circus for sale

20 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

We maraud across football like David Luiz marauds across a football pitch, with Big Sam heading Stateside, Leicester getting bored and hitting their p...

Dusty Ballbag

16 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

As a weird dust cloud floats over Ramble HQ we lose ourselves over Roy Hodgson shuffling Crystal Palace into life, Man City playing the best football ...

Skeletons and closets

13 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Football! Everywhere! There's World Cup qualification drama, the Premier League diving straight back in with Liverpool vs Man United and... David Moye...

The Heaton's On

09 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

This week we continue our deeply-held passion for international football and discuss what merry old England do now qualification is assured, how Scotl...

A bulldog sipping tea from a bowler hat

06 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

It's a crunch international break and Ramble HQ is stricken with World Cup fever, though there's bad news for Joe Hart and an exciting endorsement fro...

Because you're worth it

02 Oct 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Our favourite Northern prince returns from the Far East to much fanfare (most of which is warranted, we suppose), the Champions League is dished out e...

Roys 'R' Us

29 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Diego Costa has a lovely time parading himself around Atletico's shiny new stadium before Chelsea get one over on him, there's a striker crisis for Cr...

Fat Bribes

25 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Liverpool’s whirlwind approach to how to play the game continues apace, we marvel as Wayne Rooney turns into the Terminator in front of our very eye...

What would your dad think?

22 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Spurs take some pressure off Arsenal with an embarrassing video, Jurgen Klopp's defence continues to wobble and Jose Mourinho is intent on destroying ...

Come Down to the Algarve

18 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

The boys take much delight in Luke having his backside burned in the hot seat, Arsenal manage to not disgrace themselves on the TV away from home and ...

Hornet in the Wind

15 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Get ready for a bumper edition of football strangeness this week as Andre Villas-Boas brings forth a contender for best conspiracy theory ever, we hea...

Shaken

11 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Frank de Boer's time at Crystal Palace is no de moer, Chris Sutton defends the honour of Sadio Mane's flying boot and even Mark Hughes thinks this who...

The Football Ramble. DG.

08 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

We open the show with talk of exciting opportunities for John Motson as he retires from the BBC, digs from Jamie Vardy and the rumble of yet more plan...

Chris Sutton: Origins

04 Sep 2017

Contributed by Lukas

It's international week and England are almost in Russia, Wales and Northern Ireland continue to impress and Ruud Gullit keeps causing trouble with hi...

Probably the Best of The Peatles

31 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

International week is upon us and we have cameos from our beloved D-Beck, a resurgent David Villa and the ever-bubbling Sergio Ramos.Elsewhere there a...

Meat Fighter 2: Nottingham Edition

28 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Mike Dean reminds us all who this is really about, the Pulis Derby provides the usual fireworks - off the pitch, obviously - and there's more of the s...

Bye-Bye, Mr American Pie

25 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

England's Wayne Rooney is now simply Wayne Rooney once more, Benjamin Mendy takes some time to settle into the parking regulations of his new surround...

On The Continent: Away We Go!

23 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Behold, the brand new European football show from The Football Ramble!In the inaugural episode of On The Continent Marcus, Luke, James and Andy dissec...

Oh Jesé You're So Fine

21 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

This week Chelsea drum up a win at the Home of Spurs, Man United continue to maraud under Mourinho and there's the usual stuff like coincidental code ...

Password123

18 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

This week we get a welcome breath of fresh air in the Champions League as Brendan Rodgers rolls into town to run his mouth all over Liverpool's win in...

Stamford Bridge is Falling Down

14 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Well, what a start to the Premier League that was! The boys get stuck in to all the big stories from the opening weekend in the top flight, a league w...

Hellas Boring

11 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Let's be honest, last season was great and all but it just isn't the same without our beloved Newcastle United. And now The Entertainers are back and ...

The Totally Total Show

07 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

We're back! Clearly! After a summer bare of football but smothered in madness we discuss the glittering showpiece magic of the Community Shield, the n...

Hala Ramble!

05 Jun 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Hola! It's our final show of the season and Real Madrid dominated it as much as they've dominated everything else this season. Scotland sound brave ah...

Preview Show: 2nd June 2017

01 Jun 2017

Contributed by Lukas

This week on the final preview show of the season, the boys look forward to what's sure to be a great Champions League Final, suggest what Tom Cruise ...

The Hilario Sequence

29 May 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Arsenal won the FA Cup! Ha! Brilliant. The game is relived with varying degrees of enthusiasm, as is the play off final, which was frankly another one...

Preview Show: 26th May 2017

25 May 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Hello! We're back to examine Man United's pragmatic Europa League victory, a look ahead to the FA Cup and some play off finals! It's some sort of bona...

As the seasons roll on by...

23 May 2017

Contributed by Lukas

The Premier League is over for another season and somehow it's all about John Terry. There are play offs, leagues wrapping up all over Europe and our ...

Premier League Preview Show: 19th May 2017

18 May 2017

Contributed by Lukas

We look ahead to the final weekend of Premier League football. Will we see some drama? There's the race for 8th, prize money issues and potential play...

Sven-g-englar

15 May 2017

Contributed by Lukas

It's party time for Chelsea as they're crowned champions and Diego Costa learns the perils of pouring carbonated liquids into his own eyes. Odd that h...

Premier League Preview Show: 12th May 2017

11 May 2017

Contributed by Lukas

The little hairy boy is back! We chat Champions League, hear a "fascinating" "anecdote" about The Beano and cower at the calamity that may be happenin...

Peter Cheque

08 May 2017

Contributed by Lukas

This week we're expanding our horizons by making sitcom pitches and marveling as Sunderland go down in sulky flames and try to bring everyone with the...

Premier League Preview Show: 5th May 2017

04 May 2017

Contributed by Lukas

The Champions League is mulled over as the big guns get there way before we look ahead to thrills at the top of the table, spills at the bottom and a ...

Sunderland, we hardly knew ye

01 May 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Prepare yourself to have chicken breast based nightmares after this one. You'll understand why soon enough. The bones of the North London Derby are pi...

Premier League Preview Show: 28th April 2017

27 Apr 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Newcastle remind us of what we’ve been missing with all kinds of calamity, plus some retro action from Terry McDermott. We hope Alexis Sanchez’s ...

Ball Fondlers

24 Apr 2017

Contributed by Lukas

On this week's Ramble we have election fever, FA Cup fever and to a lesser degree Tim Sherwood fever.On top of this there's Sergio Ramos doing what he...

Premier League Preview Show: 21st April 2017

20 Apr 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Leicester's Champions League dream is over but there are still plenty of thigh rubbers to come in Europe and the good ol' FA Cup. Get your thigh patch...

Rat storage

18 Apr 2017

Contributed by Lukas

A superb week for the South coast as Brighton, Portsmouth and Plymouth all get promoted. Forget all that though, as there's the MASSIVE news of Harry ...

Premier League Preview Show: 13th April 2017

12 Apr 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Big Sam is back in the swing of things, Jose Mourinho is angling for yet more revenge and we make the case for football to feature more Bez-like figur...

Ed Balls

10 Apr 2017

Contributed by Lukas

We're back after a weekend of football with talk of piggybacks, Paul Bearer impressions and listener generated news of Brendan Rodgers' dinner chat.El...

Premier League Preview Show: 7th April 2017

06 Apr 2017

Contributed by Lukas

After free beer and three points for Chelsea at Stamford Bridge the potential late title race looks a little more unlikely, Jose Mourinho is as fed up...

Squaregopusher

03 Apr 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Do we have a title race on?! Maybe... While that's potentially happening there's long overdue eagle justice, a feisty Merseyside derby and yet more in...

Premier League Preview Show: 31st March 2017

30 Mar 2017

Contributed by Lukas

We do get around to talking about the upcoming weekend of football but we of course have to deal with that Ronaldo bust first. Jeez.Big Jim Duffy of G...

Drinking on a plane

27 Mar 2017

Contributed by Lukas

International week is here and it brings glee for England, Scotland and Northern Ireland but an unexpectedly savage time for our Norwegian listeners. ...

International Preview Show: 24th March 2017

24 Mar 2017

Contributed by Lukas

The Festival of Lukas Podolski is sadly over and we hope you're well recovered from the thrill of it all. Thankfully there's international football ap...

We were relegated before the ship even sank

20 Mar 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Football moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. This certainly seems to be happnening to poor old ...

Premier League Preview Show: 17th March 2017

17 Mar 2017

Contributed by Lukas

This week there are more travel problems for Man United, like every time they leave Manchester, Leicester look like giving the Jamie Vardy a movie a h...

Crowbarred music reference

13 Mar 2017

Contributed by Lukas

It's all over for poor Lincoln and we look ahead to what comes next for the Cowley brothers, we learn that one of our number has experience with black...

FA Cup Preview Show: 10th March 2017

10 Mar 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Baaaarcelona! We all try to calm down after one of the most glorious comebacks in... ever, but we just can't and we're not sorry.The Premier League an...

Big money in massive China

06 Mar 2017

Contributed by Lukas

The curse of the Ramble strikes again as West Brom’s Champions League charge hit the bricks, Anthony Taylor prepares for his nuptials in style, or a...

Premier League Preview Show: 3rd March 2017

03 Mar 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Some absolute thigh rubbers coming up this weekend, particularly with West Brom's charge into Europe gathering force. We also try to invent some new t...

Where Moyes fears to tread

27 Feb 2017

Contributed by Lukas

It's a significant moment at Ramble HQ as our beloved Zlatan claims his first trophy in England. There's abject misery from David Moyes and Mick McCar...

Premier League Preview Show: 24th February 2017

24 Feb 2017

Contributed by Lukas

This week sees a missed job opportunity for Tim "Tim but Dim" Sherwood and we figure out where he and others are in line for one of the most prestigio...

...And You Will Know Him by the Trail of Reds

20 Feb 2017

Contributed by Lukas

An absolutely classic FA Cup weekend is pored over with relish, Mario Balotelli is up to his old tricks and Brendan Rodgers chimes in with a monumenta...

FA Cup Preview Show: 17th February 2017

17 Feb 2017

Contributed by Lukas

The FA Cup returns yet again - that's not going to change - and we look ahead to Lincoln's battering ram, Matt Rheade, taking on the homely might of B...

Loooooosah

13 Feb 2017

Contributed by Lukas

The war of words and voicemails between Stoke and West Brom continues, we write Leicester's obituary through bitter tears and David Moyes rallies the ...

Premier League Preview Show: 10th February 2017

10 Feb 2017

Contributed by Lukas

There's football afoot so naturally we talk about a tattoo of Adam Lallana as a llama and Djibril Cisse and Royston Drenthe's latest musical projects....

Palace in Chains

06 Feb 2017

Contributed by Lukas

We pick through the wreckage of Crystal Palace's battering from Sunderland and marvel at Hull's resurgence at the expense of knackered old Liverpool, ...

Premier League Preview Show: 3rd February 2017

03 Feb 2017

Contributed by Lukas

This week we hit the sweet spot between Arsenal losing to Watford then heading off to face Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. What joy for one of us in parti...

Brown bright brown

30 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

What a weekend in the FA Cup. We ponder whether the future of match coverage involves more dads than it currently does, Sutton United and Lincoln City...

FA Cup Preview Show: 27th January 2017

27 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

"Strange winds" have been afoot as Southampton maraud into the EFL Cup final and the FA Cup returns to obliterate all expectations. Hopefully.Also it ...

Thru the eyes of Rooney

23 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Rooney, Rooney, Rooney, record, record, record etc etc. IT'S DONE. It's over and we can all move on.Aside from that we pore over Steve Bruce scaling R...

Premier League Preview Show: 20th January 2017

20 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Lots of confusion about whether you can commit a handball without a hand this week - you know how this works by now - as well as fears for Man City's ...