Football Ramble

Ramble Reacts: Sheffield United bring a knife to a gunfight

05 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

On a bruising night for Sheffield United, Marcus and Andy pick apart their season and whether it was always destined to end this way.They also rub the...

Let me in, Paul

04 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Mark Clattenburg is banging on the door of the studio asking for answers, but we just about managed to keep him out and record a brand new Ramble!Marc...

Mailbag: What makes a great derby?

02 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What are the characteristics of a great derby? Are half and half scarves REALLY that bad? Do we criticise refs too much? Who are the most unexpected f...

The Preview Show: Three of your five meats a day

01 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Manchester derby weekend! And there’s one question on everyone’s lips here at the Ramble: will a pie be thrown?Marcus, Luke and Andy talk a...

Ramble Reacts: Casemiro's crucial bonce

28 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We have our FA Cup quarter-final lineup! And – oh no – Pete sees who Newcastle have drawn while recording the show. But which better Ramble should...

Small Donny energy

28 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

After last night’s FA Cup action, we’re one step closer to Pete spending a load of money so he can watch Newcastle lose to Man City at Wembley. To...

Ramble Reacts: Take a Bowen

26 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jarrod Bowen scored his first senior hat-trick and, in an amazing turn of events, it’s got Andy waving the Bowen for England flag har...

Pete’s grotty mind

26 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The only thing grottier than the Carabao Cup trophy after John Terry’s done with it? Pete’s mind, obviously.Marcus, Jim and Pete are back for your...

The Best of Ramble Uncut

26 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Head to patreon.com/footballramble for more of this every single Wednesday!Each Wednesday, our Patreon subscribers get an extended edition of the Foot...

Mailbag: Do fans prefer not being in the Premier League?

24 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Earlier this week, Luke made the point that supporting a struggling Premier League club is worse than people realise. So today, he’s joined by Marcu...

The Preview Show: Do it for Todd

23 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the big one! The Carabao Cup final, where Chelsea will be fighting for not only a tenth of the amount of money you need to make Liam Gallagher ...

Ramble Reacts: Arsenal’s last-gasp defeat

21 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It was unfortunately business as usual for Arsenal on their return to the Champions League knockouts, after their last-minute loss to Porto. But, what...

David Raya’s big hands

21 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Believe it or not there was some Premier League action last night, even if Jim did have to take the train to France to watch it on TV. Today, Luke and...

Ramble Reacts: Palace hold on and Roy bows out

20 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

For perhaps the final time, Roy Hodgson leaves the managerial arena. And what more fitting tribute to his career than being mentioned in the same brea...

Sammy Lee’s Trebors

19 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Did Harry Styles eat some Trebor Mints extracted from Sammy Lee’s arsehole, will Ross Barkley be made the sheriff of Luton, and is it a good idea fo...

Mailbag: Is there still a place for firefighter managers in the Premier League?

17 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

With Roy Hodgson’s time at Crystal Palace seemingly drawing to a close, is this the end for the traditional firefighter manager? Marcus, Jim and And...

The Preview Show: MBellingham

16 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Jim, Andy and Pete are back in the Ramble ring! But it’s a sad day, really. Jürgen Klinsmann has been sacked by South Korea! Insert crying ...

You give yellow cards a bad name

14 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Things most of us predicted last night: a dominant Man City win. Things only Nigel Clough predicted last night: Mansfield Town beating Harrogate Town ...

Ramble Reacts: Chelsea win it late

12 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s all going wrong for Crystal Palace, should they employ Andy Brassell as gaffer until the end of the season? Luke and Andy are here to discuss w...

A skulleted fiend

12 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Ivory Coast won AFCON! Managerless, thrashed by Equatorial Guinea earlier in the tournament, and with Sebastien Haller grabbing the winner after overc...

Mailbag: How to improve the Champions League

10 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The jury is still out on whether the new Champions League format will be a success. Can Marcus, Luke and Pete design a better competition? They try th...

The Preview Show: Norty Boyz

09 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Pete are delighted to hear that Marcus has eschewed some spicy matches this weekend and instead opened the show with news of England’s 2024...

Typhoid Neil

07 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

On today's Ramble, Marcus gets ready to celebrate England winning a World Cup, Jim talks about Nathan Jones, Andy talks about watching Arturo Vidal at...

Ramble Reacts: Phil Foden runs the show

05 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Wait, what’s that rumble? Is it Manchester City galloping towards the front of the title race? Or Pete’s belly after eating that remaining half of...

The lemons have gone off

05 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

One last job, Ramblers. One last job for Neil Warnock AND Jose Mourinho?! We cannot believe our luck.Marcus, Luke and Jim look back on an epic weekend...

Mailbag: Do we overestimate the impact of managers?

03 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

As the dust still settles on Jürgen Klopp's surprise announcement last week, one listener had a big question for us today: just how important are man...

The Preview Show: A night out in Seoul with Pete Donaldson

02 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

An ice museum. An erotic museum. Easy access to suits in Gangnam. What more could Jesse Lingard possibly want in Seoul? Pete tells Marcus, Luke a...

Ramble Reacts: Wotsits for goalposts

31 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Pete are here and they are discussing the approved materials for goalposts following Darwin Nunez’s record-breaking performance last night....

Elton John’s heliplopter

31 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Tom Lockyer returns to Kenilworth Road and Luton score two goals in the first two minutes. Coincidence? Marcus, Andy, Jim and Pete think not!Today, th...

The Carrington Flu Room

29 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Maidstone United fairytale continues! Marcus, Luke and Jim shake off their Belfast hangover to look back on the FA Cup fourth round, where The Sto...

Mailbag: Why is the transfer window so quiet?

27 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Has Everton’s point deductions made clubs scared to spend money in January? Does Harry Kane leaving Spurs explain their upturn in form? And which fo...

Ramble Reacts: Jürgen Klopp is leaving Liverpool!

26 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jürgen Klopp has announced that this will be his final season as Liverpool manager. What’s going on?! Will he join Germany after the Euros? Is Xabi...

The Preview Show: Woke-verhampton Wanderers

26 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The FA Cup returns! Marcus, Luke, Andy and Jim bring you more heartwarming tales from the football world – from former Wolves stalwart Jonny smashin...

Ramble Reacts: Fulham’s dream is over

25 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus has arrived, wind-swept and heartbroken, from Craven Cottage ready to record a Ramble Reacts with his old pal Andy Brassell.Despite the result,...

Nevvo Baby

24 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Jim, Pete and Andy pick through the wreckage of Chelsea’s demolition job on a spirited Middlesbrough - a club that Pete regards with an almo...

Ramble Reacts: Wolves steal the Seagulls’ chips

22 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Luke wade through thin South Coast gruel after Wolves left Brighton with a decent goalless draw. Gag O’Neil was certainly happy, anyway.W...

Write another letter, you cowards

22 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Fire up the PGMOL paper shredder, it’s another action-packed weekend in the Premier League! Marcus, Luke, Pete and Jim are here to pick up the piece...

Mailbag: Is there really good stuff on X?

20 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Social media has just become an accepted part of modern football, but is it really a good thing and does it actually make you feel closer to your club...

The Preview Show: Cayman Island United

19 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A message for Forest Green Rovers: Pete Donaldson is available for the dugout. Please find our reference in the following episode…Marcus, Vish and J...

Ramble Reacts: FA Cup solace for Forest and Everton

18 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan Henderson pulling out of Saudi Arabia? After six months? Completely unpaid?! Fire up the Ramble Reacts…Pete and Andy discuss two important vi...

Moyes out, EastEnders in

17 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A big cupset in the FA Cup 3rd Round! Today, Marcus confirms to Luke, Vish and Jim that he is now a Moyes Out man after West Ham crashed out to Bristo...

You’ve been Gaffneyed!

15 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Pete is back on the pod! And he’s back with a bang. Or a crack, actually…He joins Marcus and Vish to discuss Kevin De Bruyne’s terrifying (and l...

Mailbag: Have the Premier League fixed the winter break dilemma?

13 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

England fans once blamed a Steven Gerrard misplaced pass at the Euros on the fact that he didn’t have a winter break... obviously. Today, Marcus, Ji...

The Preview Show: We’re off to Baden-Baden

12 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Prem is back with a big ol’ relegation six-pointer! Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish preview that and a whole lot more.We wonder in what state Kevin D...

Ramble Reacts: Liverpool find a way

11 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In a twist that left Marcus’ aunt practically choking on her Victoria sponge, Liverpool turned the first leg of their Carabao Cup semi-final on its ...

One foot in a bucket of Carabao

10 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Football recently lost one of its greats. Today, Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish remember Franz Beckenbauer – a player who reinvented his position and wh...

A Man of the Prat

08 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

That’s (almost) a wrap on the FA Cup third round! And we’re already looking forward to Liverpool playing Maidstone United on a plastic pitch at 12...

Mailbag: How would we change the FA Cup?

06 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Should FA Cup underdogs be allowed to choose whether they play at home or away? Marcus Speller thinks so. Today he, Luke and Jim discuss the one chang...

The Preview Show: Cheer up Peter Reid

05 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s FA Cup third round weekend! And what a curtain-raiser it was last night on ITV4…Marcus, Luke, Jim and Vish discuss Sunderland gaffes ahead of...

The Liz Truss of Football

03 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Wayne Rooney lasted longer than the cabbage. And at least he didn’t have one thrown at him like Steve Bruce.Marcus, Luke, Andy and Vish discuss the ...

Happy New Year, bro

02 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Festive football has almost drawn to a close and the highlight is most definitely Noni Madueke calling friend of the Ramble Jules Breach “...

Our New Year’s Resolutions for Football in 2024

01 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Football’s great - but it’s not perfect. As a new year rolls around, we thought it was a perfect time to decide on some resolutions that football ...

Mailbag: Why doesn't England produce more elite coaches?

30 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Andy and Jim are back to answer more of your questions, and we’re kicking off with one that’s dominated English football discourse for yea...

The Preview Show: The Tartan Diego Simeone

29 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If you’re going to make one New Year’s resolution, make it this: watch the Indian national team at the Asian Cup. Why, you ask? Trevor S...

Best of the Football Ramble 2023 (Part 2)

28 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back with more fond reminisces! On today’s episode, we return to a difficult day for VAR and an even more difficult day for Pete Donaldson’...

Oi, Doswell!

27 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Boxing Day, you never disappoint. Marcus, Andy and Luke are here and full of the joys of Christmas! And Luke can confirm that one Gosport Borough fan ...

Best of the Football Ramble 2023 (Part 1)

26 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today, we’re throwing it back to the start of 2023 and reliving some of our favourite Ramble moments!The final stretch of the 2022/23 season saw som...

Ramble Reacts: A turkey leg each at Anfield

23 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jim Campbell is happy with a point at Anfield. However, he’s not so happy with Zinchenko attempting to do the Stanky Legg when faced up against Moha...

Mailbag: Would the European Super League improve English football?

23 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Our listener Christian has a theory: could a European Super League actually improve English football? Marcus, Luke and Andy debate the merits of that ...

The Preview Show: Incubating Pep’s head

22 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

What reason would Roy Hodgson have to incubate Pep Guardiola? I don’t know.It’s cold outside, but Marcus, Luke, Andy and Jim are here to warm your...

Ramble Reacts: Liverpool hammer the Hammers!

20 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus needs consoling. Again. That’s because Fulham have been drawn against Liverpool in a two-legged semi-final. Oh no...Luke joins Marcus to reac...

Arnie the Cockney Parrot

20 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Carabao’s back! Today, Jim and Andy have to console Marcus after Kieran Trippier - aka one of Gareth Southgate's brave boys - suffered a difficu...

The Martínez Cinematic Universe

18 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The sound of laughter, the sun appearing while you’re out for a walk, scoring a late penalty to draw 2-2 at the Etihad, these are just a few of the ...

Mailbag: Are hard men overly romanticised?

16 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

“Football was better in the good old days!” But was it really? Today, Marcus, Luke and Vish state the case for why football is actually better off...

The Preview Show: Tom Cairney Fan Fiction

15 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Join us for a bumper Barclays preview! Marcus, Luke, Jim and Vish settle in to write some Tom Cairney fan fiction and wonder if Steve McClaren will te...

Ramble Reacts: Newcastle’s European adventure ends

13 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

After Newcastle’s chaotic loss against Milan, Pete comes down from off the ceiling to commiserate Andy, who saw his dreams of some paid Europa Leagu...

Don’t trust the process

13 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Is Man United’s season over? Marcus, Jim and Vish debate that on today’s Ramble after their Champions League exit has left Vish yearning for the h...

Be as brave as Michael Owen

11 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We see you, sitting there with that apple core in your hand, about to listen to this podcast. See that bin over there? Go for it. Be brave. Be like Mi...

Mailbag: How to fix football broadcasting

09 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

After a week where you could watch every Premier League game live, do we actually have... access to too much football?Today, Marcus, Luke, Andy and Pe...

The Preview Show: An ode to Emi Martinez

08 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We want to talk about the football. Marcus wants to talk about the fact that he watched Fulham on Wednesday with Stuart Broad and then convinced Rober...

Ramble Reacts: Emery outsmarts Pep

06 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Unlike Trent Alexander-Arnold, Pete and Andy keep their bums very much covered on tonight’s Ramble Reacts! But there’s no hiding Pete’s secret…...

Chaos is the answer

06 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Arsenal went to Kenilworth Road and stole the points! Just like Aaron Ramsdale’s dad stole Arsenal’s Christmas decorations...After a brilliant gam...

Hoops, there it is

04 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Just another normal weekend. And you haven’t even heard about Pete breaking up a fight between two horses yet. Marcus, Luke, Pete and Vish are ...

Mailbag: Can overseas supporters be true fans?

02 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Is there a feeling in England that supporters of English clubs from other countries “aren’t true fans”? What Premier League rule change would yo...

The Preview Show: Whoops.

01 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

December is upon us! And what can be more festive than a snowball fight between Aberdeen fans and Helsinki’s goalkeeper in the Europa Conference Lea...

Ramble Reacts: This is Manchester United

30 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to hell? Lads, I’ve already been in it.Those were the thoughts of a philosophical Vithushan Ehantharajah on tonight’s Ramble Reacts after ...

Still fighting for this title

29 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Newcastle were on the end of a stinking decision last night. Predictably, Pete seems the least outraged by the whole incident - but Marcus and Vish ar...

Just a shinner

27 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We witnessed one of the greatest ever Premier League goals on Sunday, but there are more urgent matters to attend to on today’s show. Like… is Sea...

The Preview Show: Haaland’s Special Salmon

24 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’re finally back in the warm, comforting arms of our benign Premier League overlords. And do you know what that means? Protest planes.Pete, Vish, ...

The Best of Ramble Uncut

23 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Been wondering what you’re missing out on over on the Football Ramble Patreon? Well, here’s a taste…Every single Wednesday, we serve up our Frie...

Jim, the God of Football

22 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Is İlkay Gündoğan turning into the German Roy Keane? Can anyone stop Jim from turning into the God of Football? And will Kevin Keegan EVER stop hos...

Ramble Reacts: No rebounds in a shootout

20 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

England completed a statement 8-1 aggregate victory over North Macedonia. Marcus and Jim are on hand to send that message to the rest of Europe. They ...

Dark Forces, Part 2

20 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Vish and Jim are here to bemoan the refereeing that made England not have a shot on target until the 64th minute against Malta. WHERE’S THE ...

Mailbag: Can bao buns save modern football?

18 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete are back to answer more of your burning questions, as we revel in football’s stupid stuff and a listener writes to us aft...

The Preview Show: The Curse of the Colonel

17 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Is a draw in Tbilisi - thanks to a 92nd minute equaliser - enough to rid Scotland of their dreaded curse? Marcus, Pete, Jim and Vish call for any curs...

England at Euro 2024: Best XI and answering your questions

16 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The all-important milestone is upon us: it’s 211 days until Euro 2024!But seriously, the current England squad is full of ridiculous talents and a f...

The lard and lager boys

15 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The FA Cup first round reached its conclusion last night. So today, Pete decided to bring the magic of the cup into the studio, quite literally…Donn...

Hold my lemons

13 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Poch ’n Pep treated us to another classic! Marcus, Luke, Vish and Jim relive Chelsea 4-4 Manchester City – a glorious game full of good goals, con...

The Preview Show: Keystone Klopp

10 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Bonk! Your Keystone Cops – Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete – are on hand to see you into the weekend.Jürgen Klopp attends Fyre Festival, Neil Warnock ...

Ramble Reacts: The Theatre of Nightmares

09 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Vish react to a chaotic Champions League night in Copenhagen, which saw Manchester United swing between good, bad, good again, and then - f...

The Dungeon of Secrets

08 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

As usual Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete start the show with the biggest and most important piece of news… Phil Neville is BACK! You just can’t keep a ...

Ramble Reacts: It’s easier playing against 9 men

06 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Spurs 1-4 Chelsea: where to begin?! Luke and Vish are here to pick apart a quite ridiculous game and a quite ridiculous performance fro...

The Statement Posse

06 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Another VAR conspiracy, eh? It must be time for a Monday Ramble!Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish get their head around all the drama at St James’ Park on ...

Mailbag: Is it ever okay for a fan to switch clubs?

04 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to the very FIRST Football Ramble Mailbag! Every fortnight, we're sharing our favourite listener stories and tackling your questions – some ...

The Preview Show: The Tindall Area

03 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Technical areas, do we really need 'em? That’s the question that Marcus, Luke, Pete and Vish are answering ahead of the Jason Tindall vs Mikel Artet...

Ramble Reacts: Newcastle’s revenge and Arsenal’s kryptonite

02 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Miguel Almiron’s at the wheel! Oh hang on, that’s not a good thing though…Marcus, Pete and Jim look back on a double cupset in the Carabao Cup a...

The s**t shirt derby

01 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Do people love Lionel Messi a little bit too much? That’s the question that Media Darling Marcus wants answered after the latest Ballon d’Or.Today...

Here’s to the benchwarmers

30 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Manchester United may have lost yesterday, but at least they have a really bad tackle from one of their former players 20 years ago on one of Man City...

The Preview Show: Tonight, you dine in hell

27 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

“A great victory for me and a great victory for justice!” No, that’s not one of us after this week’s Jack’s Encyclopaedia - that’s literal...

Ramble Reacts: St Drainage Park

25 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It wasn’t the night that Newcastle fans wanted, but who cares, at least St James’ Park has some fantastic drainage.Pete and Vish appreciate that o...