Football Ramble

The Kevin Keegan Effect

04 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Why can’t Kevin Keegan fly out to Germany to watch the Euros? I don’t know Kev, you tell us…Marcus, Pete and Jim preview the last 8, where it’...

It's all coming up Brassell

03 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Austria vs Turkey…. how were there only three goals? Marcus, Luke and Andy are here to celebrate Brassell’s brave boys making it through to the qu...

Portugal thrash Slovenia… on pens

02 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

And it was enough to bring tears to (some people’s) eyes. Pete, Andy and Jim relive a dramatic night for Portugal which saw them escape calamity and...

On The Continent: What really went wrong for Italy?

02 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This is a brilliant segment from our sister show – On The Continent – that we thought you had to hear. This week, Andy and Dotun were joined by Ni...

Hey Jude, don’t be afraid

01 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Jim get their heart rates down long enough to recap a truly absurd game of football, as England scrape past Slovakia more by luck tha...

It’s correct but I don’t like it

30 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Euros knockout stages are here! Marcus, Pete, Vish and Jim praise Germany’s band of brash brothers as they muscled past Denmark thanks to some V...

Mailbag: What’s changed watching England?

29 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve had Sven, Capello, McClaren and Hodgson come before him - so how will we remember Gareth Southgate? Marcus, Luke and Andy wonder why the Engli...

Our Euros knockouts preview!

28 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s business time. And up yours, England are still in the mix. Marcus, Luke and Jim are joined by Andy – fresh back from Germany – to preview t...

Georgia do the Portuguese!

27 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Goodbye to the group stages! And it finished with a magnificent day for Georgia, a terrible day for António Silva, and a reminder for Pete Donaldson ...

Top of the group, bottom of the barrel

26 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Somehow, England have finished top of their group. And somehow, they’re in the best side of the draw. The plan worked!Marcus, Luke, Vish and Pete re...

Sit down, drink venom and relax

25 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Italy left it very late to secure 2nd place in their group against Croatia last night. Today, Marcus, Jim, Pete and Vish are here to dissect the key t...

Scotland are out!

24 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jeezy peeps, man. Marcus, Vish and Luke are here to perform the Scottish post-mortem after they were knocked out in the same underwhelming fashion tha...

Portuguese Grant Holt

23 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

England fans are being told that the players are struggling physically so they can’t play at the desired intensity. Did they watch 41-year-old Pepe ...

Mr Rat

22 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What happens when you put two English referees on one of the most exciting clashes of the group stages? A 0-0 draw. That’s what PGMOL do to ya.Marcu...

It might not be fine

21 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Need a comforting embrace from Marcus, Luke and Vish? Bring it in. Ignore all the nervous sweat.The lads discuss England’s messy draw with Denmark a...

A uranium rod up the arse

20 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Scotland are still in it! Despite the Power Cube scoring AGAIN in a major tournament, the Scots rallied and the Ramblers still believe they can do it....

The perfect game of football

19 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Turkey 3-1 Georgia. Otherwise known as: the perfect game of football. Today, Marcus, Luke and Vish are here to once again explain why you simply must ...

Short kings pod only

18 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Day Five and we have our first big upset of the tournament! Andy and Vish react to that, while Pete is of course wondering how this new microphone-in-...

It’s all a bit Sven’s England

17 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

One word to describe England’s win over Serbia: eeeeeeeeaaazayyyyyyy! A few more words you could use: a conservative, cautionary reminder of England...

A kettle full of spaghetti

16 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Italy have history of going all the way with an unfancied side, could they do it again? Today Pete, Jim and Andy are here to answer some of the big qu...

A sad Scottish buffet

15 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Oh dear Scotland… and to think things started so well when a penis was seen before the tournament had even started. Today, Pete, Luke and Vish are h...

The Euro 2024 Preview Show: Big Mama UEFA

14 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The waiting is finally over everybody, the Euros are here!! Today, Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete are here for a complete Euro 2024 preview.Positive Peter...

Lions Watch: We’ve made it!

13 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

With one day to go until Euro 2024, we round up this series of Lions Watch with some final thoughts on what success looks like for England - and how t...

Peperami Pete

12 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s happened. It’s actually happened. Everybody stay calm… Erik ten Hag will stay at Man United! Has anyone seen Marcus’ aunt?Today, Marcus, ...

High School Managers

10 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

England may have lost their final friendly before the Euros but don’t worry, Jude Bellingham’s back!! Today, Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish take a mom...

Ramble Reacts: Don’t worry, it was just a friendly

07 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Anthony Gordon Bennett! England have lost their last friendly before Euro 2024. Don’t worry, Luke and Marcus are here to hold your&nb...

The Preview Show: Emi in Paris

07 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The moment has arrived, Gareth Southgate has picked his 26-man squad for Euro 2024! Today, Pete, Vish and Jim are here with some advice for all Englan...

Lions Watch: Listener Q&A special!

06 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve been getting so many questions about Gareth’s Gang and their inevitable march to Euros glory over the last few weeks - so let’s answer a l...

Solid, Pardew, gas

05 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We’re in the midst of the summer perineum which can only mean two things, England gearing up for an international tournament and Alan Pardew being l...

Ramble Reacts: England’s outsiders make their case

03 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s a Lions Watch takeover on today’s Ramble Reacts, as Marcus and Luke discuss the opening act of England’s Hot Girl Summer. If ever you neede...

The Empire Strikes Back (again)

03 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Vish pull the curtain down on the season, as the Baron Samedi of European football won their 15th Big One™. We celebrate some spect...

Mailbag: Will we miss this version of the Champions League?

01 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Ahead of the Champions League’s impending changes, Marcus, Jim and Andy look back over some of their favourite moments from this era of the competit...

The Preview Show: Lunin Tunes

31 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We’re on the eve of the Champions League final! Marcus, Luke, Jim and Andy are getting in the mood by trying to work out what medicine Andriy Lunin ...

Lions Watch: Does Gareth Southgate use his substitutes enough?

30 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

With just a couple of weeks until the Euros kicks off, we’re pretty sure about how Gaz’s Gang will line up in their opening game against Serbia - ...

Diet Pep

29 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Enzo Maresca looks set to be the new Chelsea manager as he is rumoured to have agreed a potential six-year contract with the club. Don’t you dare su...

De Brexit

27 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's bank holiday Monday and Vish is in the studio, that can only mean one thing… Man United have won the FA Cup! He’s joined by Marcus, Jim and P...

Mailbag: Where have all the elite managers gone?

25 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Bayern want the Burnley manager, while Chelsea want the Ipswich, Brentford and Leicester managers. So, where did all the established ‘super coaches’...

The Preview Show: Manchester United can’t jump

24 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What will it take for Man United to beat Man City in this weekend’s FA Cup final? Computer hacking? Marcus, Vish, Jim and Pete genuinely have no ans...

Lions Watch: Who should make England's final squad?

23 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Gareth Southgate’s provisional squad is out! So, who would we drop for the final 26? Marcus and Luke discuss that on today’s Lions Watch.Plus, a l...

Come home José

22 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

José Mourinho, Erik ten Hag and Frank Lampard... they’re just some of the names that Marcus, Luke, Jim and Andy want for the Chelsea job now Mauric...

The Jack’s Encyclopaedia title decider!

21 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It all comes down to this. This year's top three – Luke, Marcus and Vish – lock horns to become undisputed champion of Jack’s Encyclopaedia 2023...

Our 2023/24 Premier League predictions revealed

21 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s everyone’s favourite time of the year – the time where we get to show off exactly how much we (don’t) know about football. That...

The Premier League finale

20 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s not just about the Manchester City fourth successive title, it’s about the Phil Fodens that were made along the way.Marcus, Luke, Jim and Vis...

Mailbag: What is Jürgen Klopp’s Premier League legacy?

18 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Better to have loved and Klopped than never to have Klopped at all. On the weekend of his last game, Marcus, Luke and Andy assess Jurgen Klopp’s imp...

The Preview Show: Goblins and eggs

17 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Warning: no Premier League CEOs were egged in the making of this podcast.Marcus, Luke, Andy and Pete preview the final weekend of the Premier League s...

Lions Watch: No Shaw thing

16 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Who is England’s left back for the Euros? And more importantly: who is the team’s official psychic medium? Derren Brown, it’s time to step up.Ma...

Ramble Reacts: Man United and Newcastle embrace the chaos!

15 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

And Erik ten Hag goes all Phil Brown in his sweaty three-piece! Pete and Andy are here to react to Man United’s victory over their also very, VERY t...

Pep’s magic pump

15 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We all know what happens when Man City reach the business end of the season: Pep activates his magic pump, slips Man City into 5th gear and the rest i...

Ramble Reacts: Liverpool come undone

13 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Tom Hanks, David Cameron, Michael Portillo, Alan Pardew, Prince William, Chris Eubank and David James all feature on this edition of Ramble Reacts! Yo...

The Final Countdown

13 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s all going down to the final day. Fulham’s kite training didn’t work after all. Marcus, Jim, Vish and Andy wave farewell to Burnley and...

Mailbag: Should a player's success be defined by trophies?

11 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Harry Kane has gone another season without winning a trophy. Today, Marcus tries to convince Luke and Jim that a trophyless career wouldn’t tarnish ...

The Preview Show: Foreverkusen

10 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It was heartbreak for Aston Villa last night – but at least Matty Cash isn’t in the throes of a zombie apocalypse.Marcus, Luke, Jim and Andy refle...

Lions Watch: What goes with Rice?

09 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Luke are back with the second edition of Lions Watch before Euro 2024! This week, they react to the news that a creaky Harry Maguire might ...

Ramble Reacts: Joselu? JOSELU!?

09 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Real Madrid did it AGAIN! They beat Bayern Munich 2-1 and it was all thanks to that man Joselu. Well, and Manuel Neuer’s slippery hands.Marcus and V...

Can we change leagues?

08 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus Speller’s Aunty is giddy: an Englishman is going to win the Champions League! He’s joined by Luke, Andy and Vish to celebrate Dortmund retu...

Rock, paper, scissors…

06 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Found out. Finished podcast. Marcus, Jim and Vish are frauds.We’re back to look over a jam-packed weekend! Ipswich are back in the Premier League, w...

Mailbag: What are the biggest myths in football?

04 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Are penalties really a lottery? Is it harder to play against 10 men? Should a goalkeeper never be beaten at their near post? Today, Marcus, Jim and Vi...

The Preview Show: Big Dunc isn't oot

03 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Vish has always said this: Australians are unpredictable. You simply do not know where you stand with ‘em.And that was the same for most of Spurs’...

Lions Watch: Great expectations and Dier straits

02 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The road to Euro 2024 starts TODAY! Marcus and Luke are back with their third ever series of Lions Watch, where you’ll find everything you need to k...

Suddenly Michael

01 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

An old money derby in the Champions League semi-final, it doesn’t get more grand than that, eh? Today, Marcus, Jim, Vish and Andy are here to specul...

Confused boo boys

29 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Boo? Yeah, boo. Luke was amongst the confused boo boys at Spurs yesterday after a first half full of promise and a second half full of Cristian Romero...

Mailbag: Is a Premier League spending cap a good thing?

27 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Premier League is the biggest cash cow in football – for better and for worse. So how can a spending cap work? A listener asks Marcus, Luke and ...

The Preview Show: Matty from the block

26 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Did anyone see Kyle Walker lay an egg last night? Well, Jim Campbell did and he tells Marcus, Luke and Andy why he thinks it’s a good omen for Arsen...

Ramble Reacts: Everton halt Klopp’s last dance

25 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

As Liverpool found out, all the romantic farewell narrative in the world can’t stop a freshly tracksuit-bottomed Sean Dyche delivering a hammer blow...

Hathaway the lads

24 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

“We’ve just beat Chelsea 5-0. Shall we take this upstairs?” Marcus, Luke, Pete and Vish react to a demolition job at the Emirates and some extre...

Razzle and dazzle

22 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus is calling for more corruption from officials after VAR correctly ruled out Coventry’s winner against Man United. At least the result means E...

THE FOOTBALL RAMBLE IS RETURNING TO THE STAGE!

22 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

For the first time in five long years, the Football Ramble is back on the stage!On Friday 20th September 2024, we’re performing a very special show ...

Mailbag: How Pep Guardiola has changed English football

20 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Pep Guardiola arrived at Manchester City almost 8 years ago. A reign that started with sacking Joe Hart has turned into one the most impactful manager...

The Preview Show: It makes me Schick

19 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Shhh of course we knew that yellow cards don’t carry over to a penalty shootout! In Emi Martinez we trust.Marcus, Luke, Andy and Pete catch up after...

Ramble Reacts: Little old Real Madrid

18 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How about them plucky underdogs Real Madrid, eh? Marcus and Vish are on hand to react to a disastrous evening in Europe for the English sides.On a nig...

Yabadabadoo

17 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Barcelona may have lost the tie last night, but have they won the war to become the Champions League’s next banter club? Today, Marcus, Jim, Andy an...

Crack the whip

15 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What’s that noise? Is that the sound of Euro-trash floating from Lineker’s Bar? That’s right, Pete thinks it’s official: Jack Grealish is alre...

Mailbag: Could Premier League games ever be played overseas?

13 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Andy and Pete text an anonymous burner phone and get a fresh batch of listener questions delivered to the studio - and there are some crackers...

The Preview Show: Atabanta

12 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Was last night Jürgen Klopp's final European game at Anfield? If so it didn't end well. Today, Marcus, Andy and Pete are here to remind Klopp that go...

Ramble Reacts: Barcelona’s kids silence Mbappé

11 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Also, Xavi was wearing Stone Island on the touchline, so we can only assume he and his XL bully were waiting for Luis Enrique in the carpark.Marcus an...

I’m gonna need a bigger telly

10 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How about that football, eh? Last night’s Champions League action was so good that Andy has decided he needs to get a second big telly to watch all ...

Always do your doggies

08 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Did you know that if you’re a Tottenham player you can punch a Nottingham Forest player on a Sunday afternoon without punishment? Today Marcus, Luke...

Mailbag: Is football punditry becoming more divisive?

06 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Jim are back in Correspondence Corner tackling some more of your cracking questions!We start with an interesting one: in the age of m...

The Preview Show: No barns left to burn

05 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What… on EARTH was that?! Marcus, Luke and Jim recap Cole Palmer 4-3 Moments FC, where perhaps the biggest takeaway from one of the most ridiculous ...

Ramble Reacts: Tickly bum time for Man City and Arsenal

03 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus didn’t think he’d ever make this comparison but… Phil Foden went full-blown Wayne Rooney against Aston Villa! It was a stunning hat-trick...

Whoever wins, we lose

03 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Jim dive into yet more Barclays action, as a gloriously violent cameo from Newcastle's Paul Dummett gave Everton some much-needed poi...

Barclays Barnburners Deluxe™

01 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke, Vish and Pete return after Man City 0-0 Arsenal to find the barn very much intact. Wasn’t even remotely burned. Pep Guardiola still fo...

Mailbag: Which manager will have achieved the most by winning the Premier League?

30 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Luke, Jim and Vish kick off proceedings with an intriguing question about this season’s incredible title race: for which manager would winning the l...

The Preview Show: The Fleece of Champions

29 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Three things we didn’t expect in the studio today: a hammer, Sean Connery, and loads of Wellman supplements after Pete played table tennis against D...

England Special: Who should start at Euro 2024?

28 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Back in November Marcus and Luke picked their England starting XI for Euro 2024. Four months and a lot of football later it’s now time for the lads ...

He’s dead, Vish

27 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Andy, Luke and Vish are here with some consoling words for our Welsh brethren, after their Euros journey fell at the final hurdle last night. ...

Dr Feelgood Factor

25 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

England may have lost to Brazil but you can’t create the feelgood factor without having a bad moment first, right? Today, Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete...

Mailbag: Has Gareth Southgate been a success for England?

23 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The narrative that has been created around Southgate is one of squandered opportunities and an inability to match tactics against the elite in Europe....

The Preview Show: Virtue-signalling about something

22 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s international week! Marcus, Andy, Vish and Jim leave the boffins behind for Anthony Hopkins and Robbie Savage giving Wales’ next team-talk, M...

Ramble Uncut: Santa in Lanzarote, the worst taxi driver ever, and blimps

21 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

As a special Thursday treat, we're bringing you this week's Patreon-exclusive edition of Ramble Uncut! Luke reveals what happened when a man donned a ...

The Boffin's Premier League

20 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Kobbie Mainoo is the latest addition to Gareth’s Governors so naturally, Marcus is swinging from the chandelier. Before that however, the boffins at...

Can I have the little fish?

18 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Vish is on the pod, Vish is on the pod!! Today, Pete celebrated the return of the man of the bat by going through his old tweets. Concerning…Elsewhe...

Mailbag: What defines a big club?

16 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Are Arcade Fire bigger than Arsenal? Are Hula Hoops bigger than Man City? Should you play without a goalkeeper? How many defenders do you really need ...

The Preview Show: Thrashing around in their own muck

15 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Jim whizz round the best moments from last night’s European Battle of the Banter, as plenty of English sides impressed and Anthony ...

Came here for a shootout

13 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Arsenal’s penalty shootout win over Porto was so exhilarating that even the crowd were exhausted at the end - so how do you think a 41 year-old Pepe...

Ramble Reacts: Chelsea win and Poch goes for dinner

12 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Chelsea delivered a huge blow to Newcastle’s ambitions for the rest of the season – and a huge blow to Andy Brassell’s hopes of watching them pl...

Conspiracy Campbell

11 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What a weekend in the Prem! And after all the controversy, Pete has a brand new innovation for refereeing. Introducing… The No Context Man, sponsore...

Mailbag: How should football copy other sports?

09 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jim, Andy and Rhythmic Pete Donaldson are back with another rummage in the postbag, addressing listener questions and problems with the poise and dign...

The Preview Show: Something rude about the Queen

08 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Pete, Andy and Jim run the rule over last night’s European action – and then turn to the big one, Liverpool vs Man City, Klopp vs Pep, Trent vs…...

Tender Loving Football

06 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Champions League is back! Marcus, Jim, Andy and Pete run the rule over last night’s clashes, which proved that all you need for European success...