Football Ramble

Our New Year’s Resolutions for Football in 2024

01 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Football’s great - but it’s not perfect. As a new year rolls around, we thought it was a perfect time to decide on some resolutions that football ...

Mailbag: Why doesn't England produce more elite coaches?

30 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Andy and Jim are back to answer more of your questions, and we’re kicking off with one that’s dominated English football discourse for yea...

The Preview Show: The Tartan Diego Simeone

29 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If you’re going to make one New Year’s resolution, make it this: watch the Indian national team at the Asian Cup. Why, you ask? Trevor S...

Best of the Football Ramble 2023 (Part 2)

28 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back with more fond reminisces! On today’s episode, we return to a difficult day for VAR and an even more difficult day for Pete Donaldson’...

Oi, Doswell!

27 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Boxing Day, you never disappoint. Marcus, Andy and Luke are here and full of the joys of Christmas! And Luke can confirm that one Gosport Borough fan ...

Best of the Football Ramble 2023 (Part 1)

26 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today, we’re throwing it back to the start of 2023 and reliving some of our favourite Ramble moments!The final stretch of the 2022/23 season saw som...

Ramble Reacts: A turkey leg each at Anfield

23 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Jim Campbell is happy with a point at Anfield. However, he’s not so happy with Zinchenko attempting to do the Stanky Legg when faced up against Moha...

Mailbag: Would the European Super League improve English football?

23 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Our listener Christian has a theory: could a European Super League actually improve English football? Marcus, Luke and Andy debate the merits of that ...

The Preview Show: Incubating Pep’s head

22 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

What reason would Roy Hodgson have to incubate Pep Guardiola? I don’t know.It’s cold outside, but Marcus, Luke, Andy and Jim are here to warm your...

Ramble Reacts: Liverpool hammer the Hammers!

20 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus needs consoling. Again. That’s because Fulham have been drawn against Liverpool in a two-legged semi-final. Oh no...Luke joins Marcus to reac...

Arnie the Cockney Parrot

20 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Carabao’s back! Today, Jim and Andy have to console Marcus after Kieran Trippier - aka one of Gareth Southgate's brave boys - suffered a difficu...

The Martínez Cinematic Universe

18 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The sound of laughter, the sun appearing while you’re out for a walk, scoring a late penalty to draw 2-2 at the Etihad, these are just a few of the ...

Mailbag: Are hard men overly romanticised?

16 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

“Football was better in the good old days!” But was it really? Today, Marcus, Luke and Vish state the case for why football is actually better off...

The Preview Show: Tom Cairney Fan Fiction

15 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Join us for a bumper Barclays preview! Marcus, Luke, Jim and Vish settle in to write some Tom Cairney fan fiction and wonder if Steve McClaren will te...

Ramble Reacts: Newcastle’s European adventure ends

13 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

After Newcastle’s chaotic loss against Milan, Pete comes down from off the ceiling to commiserate Andy, who saw his dreams of some paid Europa Leagu...

Don’t trust the process

13 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Is Man United’s season over? Marcus, Jim and Vish debate that on today’s Ramble after their Champions League exit has left Vish yearning for the h...

Be as brave as Michael Owen

11 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We see you, sitting there with that apple core in your hand, about to listen to this podcast. See that bin over there? Go for it. Be brave. Be like Mi...

Mailbag: How to fix football broadcasting

09 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

After a week where you could watch every Premier League game live, do we actually have... access to too much football?Today, Marcus, Luke, Andy and Pe...

The Preview Show: An ode to Emi Martinez

08 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We want to talk about the football. Marcus wants to talk about the fact that he watched Fulham on Wednesday with Stuart Broad and then convinced Rober...

Ramble Reacts: Emery outsmarts Pep

06 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Unlike Trent Alexander-Arnold, Pete and Andy keep their bums very much covered on tonight’s Ramble Reacts! But there’s no hiding Pete’s secret…...

Chaos is the answer

06 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Arsenal went to Kenilworth Road and stole the points! Just like Aaron Ramsdale’s dad stole Arsenal’s Christmas decorations...After a brilliant gam...

Hoops, there it is

04 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Just another normal weekend. And you haven’t even heard about Pete breaking up a fight between two horses yet. Marcus, Luke, Pete and Vish are ...

Mailbag: Can overseas supporters be true fans?

02 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Is there a feeling in England that supporters of English clubs from other countries “aren’t true fans”? What Premier League rule change would yo...

The Preview Show: Whoops.

01 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

December is upon us! And what can be more festive than a snowball fight between Aberdeen fans and Helsinki’s goalkeeper in the Europa Conference Lea...

Ramble Reacts: This is Manchester United

30 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to hell? Lads, I’ve already been in it.Those were the thoughts of a philosophical Vithushan Ehantharajah on tonight’s Ramble Reacts after ...

Still fighting for this title

29 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Newcastle were on the end of a stinking decision last night. Predictably, Pete seems the least outraged by the whole incident - but Marcus and Vish ar...

Just a shinner

27 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We witnessed one of the greatest ever Premier League goals on Sunday, but there are more urgent matters to attend to on today’s show. Like… is Sea...

The Preview Show: Haaland’s Special Salmon

24 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’re finally back in the warm, comforting arms of our benign Premier League overlords. And do you know what that means? Protest planes.Pete, Vish, ...

The Best of Ramble Uncut

23 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Been wondering what you’re missing out on over on the Football Ramble Patreon? Well, here’s a taste…Every single Wednesday, we serve up our Frie...

Jim, the God of Football

22 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Is İlkay Gündoğan turning into the German Roy Keane? Can anyone stop Jim from turning into the God of Football? And will Kevin Keegan EVER stop hos...

Ramble Reacts: No rebounds in a shootout

20 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

England completed a statement 8-1 aggregate victory over North Macedonia. Marcus and Jim are on hand to send that message to the rest of Europe. They ...

Dark Forces, Part 2

20 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Vish and Jim are here to bemoan the refereeing that made England not have a shot on target until the 64th minute against Malta. WHERE’S THE ...

Mailbag: Can bao buns save modern football?

18 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete are back to answer more of your burning questions, as we revel in football’s stupid stuff and a listener writes to us aft...

The Preview Show: The Curse of the Colonel

17 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Is a draw in Tbilisi - thanks to a 92nd minute equaliser - enough to rid Scotland of their dreaded curse? Marcus, Pete, Jim and Vish call for any curs...

England at Euro 2024: Best XI and answering your questions

16 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The all-important milestone is upon us: it’s 211 days until Euro 2024!But seriously, the current England squad is full of ridiculous talents and a f...

The lard and lager boys

15 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The FA Cup first round reached its conclusion last night. So today, Pete decided to bring the magic of the cup into the studio, quite literally…Donn...

Hold my lemons

13 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Poch ’n Pep treated us to another classic! Marcus, Luke, Vish and Jim relive Chelsea 4-4 Manchester City – a glorious game full of good goals, con...

The Preview Show: Keystone Klopp

10 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Bonk! Your Keystone Cops – Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete – are on hand to see you into the weekend.Jürgen Klopp attends Fyre Festival, Neil Warnock ...

Ramble Reacts: The Theatre of Nightmares

09 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Vish react to a chaotic Champions League night in Copenhagen, which saw Manchester United swing between good, bad, good again, and then - f...

The Dungeon of Secrets

08 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

As usual Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete start the show with the biggest and most important piece of news… Phil Neville is BACK! You just can’t keep a ...

Ramble Reacts: It’s easier playing against 9 men

06 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Spurs 1-4 Chelsea: where to begin?! Luke and Vish are here to pick apart a quite ridiculous game and a quite ridiculous performance fro...

The Statement Posse

06 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Another VAR conspiracy, eh? It must be time for a Monday Ramble!Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish get their head around all the drama at St James’ Park on ...

Mailbag: Is it ever okay for a fan to switch clubs?

04 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to the very FIRST Football Ramble Mailbag! Every fortnight, we're sharing our favourite listener stories and tackling your questions – some ...

The Preview Show: The Tindall Area

03 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Technical areas, do we really need 'em? That’s the question that Marcus, Luke, Pete and Vish are answering ahead of the Jason Tindall vs Mikel Artet...

Ramble Reacts: Newcastle’s revenge and Arsenal’s kryptonite

02 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Miguel Almiron’s at the wheel! Oh hang on, that’s not a good thing though…Marcus, Pete and Jim look back on a double cupset in the Carabao Cup a...

The s**t shirt derby

01 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Do people love Lionel Messi a little bit too much? That’s the question that Media Darling Marcus wants answered after the latest Ballon d’Or.Today...

Here’s to the benchwarmers

30 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Manchester United may have lost yesterday, but at least they have a really bad tackle from one of their former players 20 years ago on one of Man City...

The Preview Show: Tonight, you dine in hell

27 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

“A great victory for me and a great victory for justice!” No, that’s not one of us after this week’s Jack’s Encyclopaedia - that’s literal...

Ramble Reacts: St Drainage Park

25 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It wasn’t the night that Newcastle fans wanted, but who cares, at least St James’ Park has some fantastic drainage.Pete and Vish appreciate that o...

England’s sunflower

25 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Same podcast? Same podcast. Yes! Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete celebrate the return of England’s sunflower Hazza Maguazza to goalscoring form as Manche...

Andy Carroll’s roast dinner

23 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Praying for Ashley Young and James Milner’s hamstrings this morning are Marcus, Luke, Vish and Pete!On today’s show, we look back on the Merseysid...

Ramble Reacts: Man Utd stumble past Sheffield Utd

21 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Andy roll out the red carpet for the Premier League’s post qualifiers return, but not before they pay tribute to Sir Bobby Charlton after h...

The Preview Show: This game does change

20 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Premier League returns! And Marcus, Luke, Pete, and Jim Full On Campbell are here for a data romp ahead of the weekend.We discuss intimate exchang...

Jude, don’t get hurt

18 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

England did ‘em! Marcus, Luke, Vish and Andy react to an imperious comeback win for Southgate’s posse over Italy, in which Jude Bellingham and Har...

Marcus Speller, the host with the most

16 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Pete has made a special Marcus Speller-themed shirt for the show today. Because of course he has.Marcus, Pete, Vish and Jim discuss a big Welsh win, a...

Ramble Reacts: England avenge Ashes heartache!

14 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Jim get the flares out and throw some pint glasses in the air after England’s ferocious 1-0 win over Australia. If only England could’v...

The Preview Show: Wrinkly Eyeballs

13 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Phew. Marcus, Jim and Pete at last managed to tear themselves away from Jesús Navas’ sparkly eyes for just long enough to record the pod!On today’...

Don’t bother coming

11 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Euros is heading this way and today Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete celebrate by disrespecting the whole of Europe, including the other host nations.As...

It is his job

09 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Andy, Vish and Jim put another busy weekend of football under the Ramble microscope! Erling Haaland and Kyle Walker double team it at the...

The Preview Show: Good process, Andy

06 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Pete's in the hotseat for today's PGMOL panel alongside Luke, Andy and Jim!The lads discuss aggressive Marseille taxi drivers, how footballers store s...

Ramble Reacts: The Geordie Boys smash PSG!

05 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Andy are here to pick through the wreckage left in Newcastle’s wake, after the Geordies welcomed PSG into their house and then gave...

The PGMOL Posse

04 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Andy check in from Newcastle ahead of their clash with PSG where a chilly wind, aliens overhead and Kylian Trippier’s violent schem...

The Champions League returns to Newcastle, with Jules Breach

03 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This episode is sponsored by TNT Sports - the exclusive home of the UEFA Champions League.Marcus, Luke and Andy head up to St James’ Park to celebra...

Ramble Reacts: Chelsea dare to Ream

03 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Luke were in situ for a special on-location Ramble Reacts last night! Recorded from the beautiful old stands of Craven Cottage, they chew t...

Mike Dean: Judgment Day

02 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

After a drama-filled and anger-fuelled weekend, Marcus, Pete, Vish and Jim thrash out a plan to replace all referees with one giant robot. Judgment Da...

The Preview Show: I am iNevilletable

29 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Vish, Andy and Jim look ahead to the Premier League weekend, featuring the clash of the dads…We also chat Luis Suarez s***housing at his son...

Ramble Reacts: Newcastle shut the door on Man City!

28 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Or to put it more accurately: Jamaal Lascelles and Paul Dummett turn into prime Paolo Maldini and Alessandro Nesta!Marcus and Andy discuss the end of ...

Luton’s hairless scalp

27 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

There is only one place we can start today’s show: the Turkish Süper Lig. Despite Mauro Icardi’s penalty disaster last night, Pete tells Marcus a...

When Poch gives you lemons

25 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

After Newcastle’s demolition job, Marcus is joined by our very own north east posse - Pete and On The Continent’s David Cartlidge!On today’s Ram...

The Preview Show: James Water-Prowse

22 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Europa League returned last night and it was nice of Thames Water to honour the occasion by flooding the London Stadium.Pete, Luke and Vish are he...

Ramble Reacts: A Bayern Burner!

21 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Vish jump on after a weirdly underwhelming barn burner over in Munich, where four of Bayern’s fifty-six efforts found Man United’s net - ...

The sausage of the sea

20 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Newcastle sat down for negotiations with Milan last night and came away with a point! Can you call that a robbery? Pete, Luke and Vish are here to deb...

Derek Ten Hag

18 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Petey’s on the pod, Petey’s on the pod!Pete joins Marcus, Luke and Andy to run the rule on the latest Manchester United disasterclass against Brig...

The Preview Show: Worms of wisdom

15 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Premier League is back! So naturally, Marcus, Luke, Jim and Andy are here to discuss the possibility of Pep Guardiola covering Phil Foden in ...

On The Continent Teaser: Paul Pogba... What's the story?

14 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today, we thought we’d drop in a fascinating chat from this week’s episode of OTC. Dotun Adebayo, Andy Brassell and Nicky Bandini d...

Give it German Big Sam

13 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish are here to officially announce: England will win the Euros. Definitely. No doubt about it.That’s mainly because all the ...

Flick's got the flick

11 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

After a huge weekend for German football and Costa Rican football mascots, Marcus Luke, Jim and Vish are here to discuss it all!We react to England’...

Ramble Reacts: Those Bonnie Wee Scots!

09 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Jim jumped on the mics after Scotland took a decisive step towards Euro 2024! And one of our Scottish listeners tells England fans to “so...

The Preview Show: Get yourself an egg

08 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Take it from us, the U21 European champions: get yourself an oeuf. That’s our advice for the Lee Carsley-less France U21s.Marcus, Vish, Andy and Jim...

Pep's drum and bass

06 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

International football is back, people! Marcus, Luke, Andy and Vish discuss reports that the FA are eyeing up Pep Guardiola with Gareth Southgate set ...

A man of the laugh

04 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Like the bloke next to Stevey Cooper’s ear, Marcus, Luke, Vish and Jim are back to scratch your Premier League itch!We discuss Arsenal’s dramatic ...

Ramble Reacts: Luton pay on Deadline Day

02 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Andy are back with the lowdown on a bustling deadline day! It left us pondering: will Stamford Bridge be blown up by extra-terrestrials?We al...

The Preview Show: Luke Moorsels

01 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Jim and Luke are back to look ahead to the Premier League weekend and react to an England squad with some familiar faces. Yeah, maybe a little...

Muskchester United

30 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Sweet, sweet Carabao! It was the second round of the League Cup last night and today Marcus, Luke, Andy and Jim are loving Marco Silverware instead af...

Jason Tindall’s got a text

28 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Rejoice! The Barclays has delivered again! Marcus, Jim and Luke have got no less than three contenders for barn burner of the weekend to get stuck int...

Ramble Reacts: Chelsea leave Luton as mad as Hatters

26 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Andy check in after Chelsea’s routine win against Luton Town, but are left with more questions than answers.Are Chelsea actually good? Are ...

The Preview Show: The licky Greenland bear

25 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Pete, Vish and Andy are here to pull up the curtain on the third Premier League weekend of the season! But we’ve got much bigger fish to fry...

Where’s my Nathan?

23 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

There’s nothing quite like Ally McCoist doing co-comms at Ibrox. Today Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete are here not only to reflect on that but ask the i...

Ramble Reacts: The Gunners Down the Owl

22 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Come for analysis of referee David Coote’s decisions last night. Stay for the surprisingly long chat about the humble coot.Marcus and Luke chew over...

Can we have a urinal?

21 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The Lionesses fell short, but Mary Queen of Stops gave us one last cheer!Marcus, Luke, Vish and Jim commiserate England’s defeat in the Women’s Wo...

The Preview Show: The PIF Posse

18 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus is here to officially open the weekend, which is great news for the nation as the Lionesses can now play their World Cup final on Sunday. He’...

The Soup Pro League

16 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Who should be the head of the goalkeeper's union? That’s the question Marcus, Pete, Jim and Vish ask today after Aaron Ramsdale and David Raya prote...

Ramble Reacts: Man United somehow keep the Wolves from the door

15 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Luke reconvene after Man United’s haphazard heist saw them stole a point from under Wolves’ noses last night. Just like old times!We wo...

You really need to bid for me

14 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke, Jim and Vish surf a big ol’ wave of Barclays into the first Monday of the new season - join us!There’s plenty to get stuck into as R...

The Preview Show: Kexit means Kexit

11 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

A new season, and more unanswered questions than ever! Will Harry Kane escape his safehouse and make it to Bayern Munich? Will Marcus go to see ANOTHE...

Introducing: Ramble Uncut

10 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back with a Patreon teaser! Every Wednesday, subscribers to the Football Ramble Patreon get a special extended version of the show that is ONL...

Kevin de Eeyore

09 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Julen Lopetegui’s stint at Wolves is officially over, but thankfully his return ticket to the continent is probably still valid....

Donaldson’s Fishmongers

07 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The new season is upon us! And where else to start but Pete’s potential incompetence as a fishmonger.Pete, Luke, Vish and Andy discuss the Community...

The Ramble: Tried to text my dog

04 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Vish is back and football is on its way back! The EFL returns and - Meg White drum roll please - there’s the Community Shield! The hottest Premier L...

Inside Luton Town: Episode 2

03 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We know the history. Now, what about Luton Town’s future? In this episode, Kate Mason speaks to EFL experts, Luton’s CEO and manager, and fan...