Football Ramble

Ramble Reacts: Erik ten Hag has left Manchester United!

28 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The seemingly inevitable has happened: after just four wins from 14 games - and an hour after we left the studio - Erik ten Hag has lost his job. Spar...

Hi Man City, can we get a lift?

28 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Points shared at the Emirates but which side are happier? Today, Marcus, Jim, and Vish are here to unpick another fabulous weekend of Premier League a...

Mailbag: How do we deal with football conspiracies?

26 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Were the moon landings faked? Did aliens build the pyramids? Did Howard Webb intervene to get William Saliba sent off against Bournemouth?Philosophers...

The Preview Show: The Slot Factor

25 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Death, taxes and Jose Mourinho getting sent off on a big European night. The Special One played the hits against Man United and today Marcus...

Ramble Reacts: Liverpool pass another test

23 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Liverpool travelled to the Red Bull Arena and left with all three points. Naturally, Pete is wearing his Monster Energy hat to celebrate.Tod...

Haystacks Peace and the pesky prattling parrot

23 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

ASTON VILLA ARE TOP OF THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE! Does that mean Emi Martínez gets a new trophy to hump? Today, Marcus, Andy, Jim and Vish commend Unai Em...

Ramble Reacts: Crystal Palace’s woes continue

21 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Grandad Roy, come and help Uncle Marc, would you?Nottingham Forest beat Crystal Palace 1-0 and continued their remarkable defensive record, all while ...

Battle of the little boys

21 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Arne Slot’s lot are still top of the table! Marcus, Luke, Vish and Pete talk through a pulsating Sunday afternoon showdown with Chelsea – but than...

Mailbag: Do we need chaotic managers?

19 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Right then, Tommy Tuchs has got the big job so now we wait for the inevitable chaos that trails in his path. It's going to be box office, but is the e...

The Preview Show: Give it Thomas Frank

18 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Barclays is back! Marcus, Andy, Jim and Pete are fizzing at the prospect of a goalmongous return when Spurs play West Ham in the Premier League to...

Ramble Uncut: Jay Rayner and The Turbines

17 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today, we're bringing you a special teaser of what you can expect every week on the Football Ramble Patreon.For just $5 a month, you'll get an extende...

My giddy aunt, it’s Thomas Tuchel!

16 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

“It’s difficult to believe, at this point, that the FA are in negotiations with Thomas Tuchel” - Luke Moore, 15th October 2024.Marcus, Luke and ...

I do want the job, but I haven’t applied

15 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s a Lions Watch takeover! Marcus and Luke cast their deciding votes on the future of the England managerial post: has Lee Carsley passed the job ...

You are not entertained

14 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Who's more confused, Lee Carsley or Pete Donaldson? A question which is in itself so confusing that we're really confused trying to answer it. All we ...

Mailbag: How do we fix the international break?

12 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's the bloomin' weekend and luckily for you, it's full of Nations League excitement. Seriously though, the whole football calendar is an absolute me...

The Preview Show: A confusing broth

11 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Lee Carsley experimented with starting all the cooks for England and what transpired was one confusing broth. Today, Luke tells Marcus and Vish why En...

Mama Marcus

10 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Is that… a half fit Harry Kane trundling up the pitch? Oh YES! International football is back and England face Greece tonight!Marcus, Pete and Andy ...

Manchester City’s glove emporium

09 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Manchester City laid the smallest of gloves on the Premier League this week. But what does it all mean? Today, Marcus and Andy crossover to our offici...

Introducing: The English Disease

09 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This is a podcast we think you’re going to love. Our friends at Stak have made a unique six-part documentary about hooliganism in English football.F...

Timmy ten Hag

08 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Well, it looks like Erik Ten Hag has bought himself a bit of time following one of the dullest games the Premier League has ever seen. In other words,...

Andy Carroll for England

07 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Is it Tottenham’s fault that people call 2-0 a dangerous scoreline? Today, even Jim admits to Marcus and Pete that he has some sympathy for Spurs fa...

Mailbag: Is it okay for fans to leave early?

05 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

After the Emirates began to empty out despite Arsenal’s 2-0 lead over PSG, should fans who leave early be called out for their disloyalty? Or should...

The Preview Show: Donaldson & Champion

04 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Could Pete kick through a door? That’s the big question he poses to Luke, Andy and Vish on today’s Ramble.Elsewhere, Andy also finds some time to ...

Ramble Reacts: A momentous night for Aston Villa

02 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

And to mark the occasion Pete and Luke are sniffing some mysterious minty white powder. IT’S MENTHOL, ALL RIGHT!They discuss that Jhon Durán goal, ...

Mike Sheep

02 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Arsenal could only manage a 2-0 win at home to PSG. Pathetic. Today, Pete, Vish and Jim (mainly Pete) are here to question why Arsenal weren’t able ...

Ramble Reacts: The Cherries beat the sea slugs

30 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Bournemouth beat Southampton 3-1, which means Southampton are still languishing near the bottom of the table. Just how Luke likes it…Today, he and J...

Vish’s public therapy

30 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We are gathered here today to help our friend Vithushan Ehantharajah whose football team has fallen on hard times. Please take a moment to think of Vi...

Mailbag: Are the dark arts getting darker?

28 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Jim discuss whether the dark arts are becoming more common in modern football. Why are we answering that question now, you ask? Well,...

The Preview Show: Qaraline Quentin

27 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Qarabag could have descended on the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium on a fleet of bikes. Qarabag’s manager Gurban Gurbanov COULD have been drinking some C...

Ramble Reacts: Liverpool excite, Man United disappoint

25 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It was far from plain sailing but Liverpool were ruthless against West Ham in the Rigobert Song derby, while in the Steve McClaren derby Man United re...

#WeDreamAndAchieve

25 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

THE RAMBLE. A podcasting masterpiece towering 500 metres above sea level, but a land-saving 200 metres wide. #RambleNationalDayMarcus, Luke and Jim re...

A gouty time in France

24 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Time for a Tuesday tickle! Marcus, Vish and Jim discuss Aston Villa’s breakneck start to the season and Morgan Rogers and Ollie Watkins turning into...

A proper Barclays bash

23 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Join Marcus, Jim and Vish as we recap the biggest game of the season so far, where Arsenal had to be at their dastardly, ugly best to keep Man City at...

Mailbag: Should players strike when they’re paid so much?

21 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A listener gets in touch asking how Rodri can possibly complain about too many games when he signed a new Man City contract after the new Champions Le...

The Preview Show: B.A.S.I.C.S

20 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Football Ramble have managed to gain exclusive access to Mikel Arteta’s team talk for their trip to Man City on Sunday… “Live. Laugh. Love.”...

Ramble Reacts: You chicken nugget

18 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Could players really go on strike? And just how much will certain journalists at certain newspapers lose their nut if they do?Night two of three in th...

An ice skating score

18 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Champions League is back and it was an emphatic night for Aston Villa on their return to Europe's top table. *Insert gag about it looking like men...

Bald fraud

17 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Premier League vs Man City began yesterday. And while Lionel Hutz is still reading out the charges, we thought we better try and get our heads aro...

The Phil Brown Theory

16 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Everyone at the Football Ramble would like to offer a deep and sincere apology to Nuno Espírito Santo and all the players and fans of Nottingham Fore...

Mailbag: What are we looking forward to about the Champions League?

14 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Before the Premier League’s return, our eyes are also wandering across to the continent of course! The Champions League is back next week and after ...

The Preview Shows: See it, Say it, Save defenders

13 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the North London Derby this weekend and Marcus is naturally excited by England’s Raheem Sterling potentially being involved. Today, he's join...

Stars and Stripes and Lemons

12 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Jim are back together, all happy in one friendly sack.But you know who isn’t in one friendly sack? Chelsea’s owners. Amidst repor...

The short kingdom

11 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Harry Kane celebrated his 100th England cap last night by wearing a pair of golden Skechers. Charlie Kane must be really proud of himself for organisi...

Koeman vs Bergwijn

10 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Koeman vs Bergwijn, Gordon Ramsay vs Jeremy Clarkson and – the derby of Europe – England vs Finland. Marcus, Luke and Jim are back to talk about a...

A practice stir

09 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Lee Carsley’s first game as interim England manager started amongst a media storm. Perfect preparation for getting the job full-time then…Today, M...

Mailbag: How do England move on from Southgate?

07 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today, the post-Southgate era begins. Introducing… Carsball? Nah.One listener wonders just how important it is that England are radically different ...

The Preview Show: Get your scraps

06 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

San Marino officially “got their scraps” last night. Marcus, Luke and Andy are here to celebrate a historic night as they earned their first-ever ...

Angel Delight

05 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Three games into the new season and we’ve already got an international break… brilliant! Today, Marcus and Luke discuss Lee Carsley's brave but ex...

Steve Bruce’s farewell kiss

04 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Steve Bruce is back, baby! Today, Marcus, Jim and Pete celebrate his arrival at Blackpool by trying to decide if they would rather go for a drink with...

Can I bring my wee mate?

03 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Everyone wants to bring a wee mate with them on deadline day, right? This year, the end of the window actually threw up some fascinating storylines fo...

The Goodison Chainsaw Massacre

02 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Everything looked so good for Everton but like all good horror films, it all went wrong in the end. Today, Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete show a degree of...

Mailbag: What’s the toughest job in world football?

31 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

With the transfer window shut Marcus, Jim and Andy dream up some transfers from football history they wish they could’ve forced through. Jim’s pac...

The Preview Show: Who ate all the sausages?

30 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today, Pete and Andy have a Freaky Friday body swap, which means Pete tells Marcus and Jim about some Turkish transfer news and Andy tells us about a ...

Ramble Uncut: Gym Campbell

29 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today, we're bringing you a special teaser of what you can expect every week on the Football Ramble Patreon.For just $5 a month, you'll get an extende...

An ice bucket of Carabao

28 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What a time to be alive, it’s the Carabao Cup second round! Like all of last night’s fixtures, Marcus, Jim and Luke start today’s show by contin...

Farewell, Sven

27 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We kick off today’s raving Ramble with the most important question to emerge from the opening rounds of the Premier League: is Lars Sivertsen’s Da...

I’d rather be in Wolverhampton

26 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Who predicted Chelsea vs Wolves would be the barn barner of the weekend? Marcus, Andy, Vish and Pete revel in what turned out to be a very enjoyable t...

Mailbag: How do we control rising ticket prices?

24 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Only one of the 17 surviving Premier League clubs from last season hasn’t increased their ticket prices – and some of those clubs have hiked price...

The Preview Show: Cirque du Manchester

23 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Roll up, roll up, the Man United Circus is coming to town! Grab your trapeze and juggling balls, Marcus, Luke and Andy are here to preview the weekend...

Sorry lads, it’s too close to North Korea

22 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Pete check in with the transfer merry-go-round as players are flung off it left and right. Various Crystal Palace defenders head for ...

Strikers are lava

21 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Lars is on the pod! Lars is on the pod! Just like João Félix at Chelsea Lars Sivertsen has returned and he joins Marcus and Pete on today’s Ramble...

Ramble Reacts: Don’t stop the party

19 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jamie Vardy, oh how we have missed you! On this edition of Ramble Reacts, Marcus and Luke gush over an absolutely vintage display from Vardy, featurin...

Big Daddy Premier League

19 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the first weekend and we’ve already had a referee apology, a broken VAR monitor and a dubious headbutt. Oh, how we've missed you, Big Daddy P...

Mailbag: Will we see a truly competitive Premier League this season?

17 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The new season's underway, so it's time to tackle some more questions about our dear old Barclays!Marcus, Luke and Vish wonder if the abundance of est...

The Preview Show: Guys, can anyone help Erik?

16 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Barclays is BACK! Pete, Vish and Luke welcome the return of our favourite ostentatious marketing exercise by deciding who will celebrate a goal th...

Our 2024/25 Premier League predictions!

15 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

That’s right, we’re mixing it up this year. Instead of only revealing our embarrassing predictions at the end of the Premier League like usual, we...

Come home, Garth

14 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today is the final episode of the Football Ramble. Sadly, Zlatan Ibrahimovic has overhead kicked us into court.Pete, Luke and Vish provide your midwee...

A taste of Football Ramble LIVE!

13 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Wondering what our live show at the London Palladium in September will be like? Well, here’s a sneak preview of what to expect! Back in 2019, we too...

A proper Portsmouth weekend

12 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Managers dodging handshakes, penalties getting skied over bars, blokes wearing shirts with very specific messages for pedos, and Pete making inappropr...

Mailbag: Who are the most impactful signings in football history?

10 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The transfer window has been prettyyyy quiet – which has got one listener thinking: when was the last time a good old marquee signing really transfo...

The Community Chest

09 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The world’s biggest super friendly – aka the Community Shield – is here and Kevin De Bruyne has grown a man bun to celebrate the occasion. Marcu...

On The Continent: The new Antoine Griezmann?

08 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Have you been wondering how on earth Atlético Madrid can afford Julián Álvarez? Then you're in the right place. Today on our sister show On The Con...

Speller and Emile Smith Rowe

07 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Julián Álvarez looks set to leave Man City for 81.5 million big ones! He’ll be gutted to leave Man City without winning the Carabao though.Marcus ...

The Barm vs Bap Derby

05 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Olympic football has reached the semi-final stages! But never mind that, have you been watching the swimming and the shooting?Today, Pete, Jim, Andy a...

Football Ramble Mailbag Best of 23/24

03 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve answered more than 100 of your questions since kicking off the Mailbag last season. Today, we’re sharing some of our favourites! From the mo...

Zlatan “Jason Tindall” Ibrahimović

02 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Premier League season is fast approaching and Luke, Jim, Vish and Andy have worked out how Arsenal can finally get to Man City and win the league…...

Introducing: Ramble Uncut

01 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Today, we're bringing you a special teaser of what you can expect every week on the Football Ramble Patreon.For just $5 a month, you'll get an extende...

Brucey Shot the Sheriff

31 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Bad news, everyone: the Amazon seller who sold Pete a durian for us to try today had to cancel the order due to “supply chain issues.” More news a...

I’m bringing a durian

29 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Need some good old-fashioned espionage sorting out, but don’t have access to a drone or a two-way mirror? Pete Donaldson is now available for hire!H...

Football Ramble’s Best of 23/24: Part 4

26 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The finale is here! And Pete brings perhaps the best episode of the lot for you today. We pick things up at the start of April, where barns were burni...

Football Ramble’s Best of 23/24: Part 3

25 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In case anyone is unsure, Sean Connery is in fact no longer with us. Are you paying attention Vish?Pete’s back with another collection of the best m...

Football Ramble’s Best of 23/24: Part 2

24 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Your Chief Keystone Cop Pete Donaldson is back with more of our favourite moments from the season that was. Today, we’ve got Manchester United’s C...

Football Ramble’s Best of 23/24: Part 1

23 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The new club season is almost upon us! But before kick-off, we’re reliving our favourite moments from 2023/24.Today, Pete takes ...

A dildo to the heart

22 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Before you listen to this episode, we want to set one thing straight: despite Pete’s accusations, Marcus does not smoke crack cocaine. All right? Al...

Football Ramble’s Best of the Euros: Part 2

19 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Now it’s time for the painful bit. Join us for Part 2 of our Euro 2024 farewell, with all of our favourite moments from the Round of 16 and beyond! ...

Football Ramble’s Best of the Euros: Part 1

18 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The groups stages were arguably the highlight of Euro 2024 - well, maybe not for England and Scotland. But we were blessed with some exciting football...

Mailbag: What is Gareth Southgate’s legacy?

17 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

After four tournaments, two finals, a collection of excellent waistcoats and one flare up the arse, Gareth Southgate’s time as England manager is ov...

Revealing our Euro 2024 predictions!

16 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How do you get over England losing a Euros final? Relive all your misplaced optimism before the tournament, of course! Marcus, Luke, Andy and Jim...

So close and yet so far

15 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Spain are the champions of Europe... and England have fallen at the last hurdle once more. Marcus, Luke, Andy and Jim pick up the pieces after another...

It all comes down to this

14 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Tonight’s the night, it’s the Euro 2024 final. Excited? Nervous? However you’re feeling, come join the warm embrace of Marcus and Luke as we col...

Put a Peperami in the Paella... Our Euro 2024 final preview

13 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How can England beat Spain in the Euro 2024 final? Will it be because Bukayo Saka can do a better job of cutting in on his left foot than Lamine Yamal...

The story so far

12 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How did Spain and England make it to the final? Will Gareth Southgate sub on Pete Donaldson? And will Pete wet himself?Two days out from the final of ...

When something is good, it’s never gone

11 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

EEEEAAASAAAAY!!!ENGLAND DID IT! Successive bloody Euros finals. And they did it with what we’re now completely, unbiasedly calling the best strikers...

Lamine “MacGyver” Yamal

10 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s happened, everybody: a player younger than the Football Ramble has scored in a major tournament semi-final. Today, Marcus, Luke, Jim and Andy a...

France get ready for the Spanish!

09 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

 The supercomputer has chimed in on the Euros semi-finals and Luke and John Cross are NOT happy.Marcus, Luke and Andy preview Spain vs France ton...

Is Tom Heaton the key?

08 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke, Jim and Positive Pete draw breath as England prepare for their semi-final in a few days’ time. Should Harry Kane spark up a big ol’ ...

Pengland

07 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Ladies and gentlemen, England are in the semi-finals of Euro 2024! Today, Marcus, Andy and Vish are here to let out an almighty easaaay and explain wh...

Ronaldone

06 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What do you get when two cowardly coaches fight for a spot in the semis of the Euros? Portugal vs France and 120 minutes of Cristiano Ronaldo thinking...

Introducing: P1 with Matt and Tommy

05 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

England vs Switzerland isn’t the only big English sporting event happening this weekend: it’s also the British Formula 1 Grand Prix!P1 with Matt a...

The Kevin Keegan Effect

04 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Why can’t Kevin Keegan fly out to Germany to watch the Euros? I don’t know Kev, you tell us…Marcus, Pete and Jim preview the last 8, where it’...