Football Ramble

The Preview Show: Foreverkusen

10 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It was heartbreak for Aston Villa last night – but at least Matty Cash isn’t in the throes of a zombie apocalypse.Marcus, Luke, Jim and Andy refle...

Lions Watch: What goes with Rice?

09 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Luke are back with the second edition of Lions Watch before Euro 2024! This week, they react to the news that a creaky Harry Maguire might ...

Ramble Reacts: Joselu? JOSELU!?

09 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Real Madrid did it AGAIN! They beat Bayern Munich 2-1 and it was all thanks to that man Joselu. Well, and Manuel Neuer’s slippery hands.Marcus and V...

Can we change leagues?

08 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus Speller’s Aunty is giddy: an Englishman is going to win the Champions League! He’s joined by Luke, Andy and Vish to celebrate Dortmund retu...

Rock, paper, scissors…

06 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Found out. Finished podcast. Marcus, Jim and Vish are frauds.We’re back to look over a jam-packed weekend! Ipswich are back in the Premier League, w...

Mailbag: What are the biggest myths in football?

04 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Are penalties really a lottery? Is it harder to play against 10 men? Should a goalkeeper never be beaten at their near post? Today, Marcus, Jim and Vi...

The Preview Show: Big Dunc isn't oot

03 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Vish has always said this: Australians are unpredictable. You simply do not know where you stand with ‘em.And that was the same for most of Spurs’...

Lions Watch: Great expectations and Dier straits

02 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The road to Euro 2024 starts TODAY! Marcus and Luke are back with their third ever series of Lions Watch, where you’ll find everything you need to k...

Suddenly Michael

01 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

An old money derby in the Champions League semi-final, it doesn’t get more grand than that, eh? Today, Marcus, Jim, Vish and Andy are here to specul...

Confused boo boys

29 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Boo? Yeah, boo. Luke was amongst the confused boo boys at Spurs yesterday after a first half full of promise and a second half full of Cristian Romero...

Mailbag: Is a Premier League spending cap a good thing?

27 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Premier League is the biggest cash cow in football – for better and for worse. So how can a spending cap work? A listener asks Marcus, Luke and ...

The Preview Show: Matty from the block

26 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Did anyone see Kyle Walker lay an egg last night? Well, Jim Campbell did and he tells Marcus, Luke and Andy why he thinks it’s a good omen for Arsen...

Ramble Reacts: Everton halt Klopp’s last dance

25 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

As Liverpool found out, all the romantic farewell narrative in the world can’t stop a freshly tracksuit-bottomed Sean Dyche delivering a hammer blow...

Hathaway the lads

24 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

“We’ve just beat Chelsea 5-0. Shall we take this upstairs?” Marcus, Luke, Pete and Vish react to a demolition job at the Emirates and some extre...

Razzle and dazzle

22 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus is calling for more corruption from officials after VAR correctly ruled out Coventry’s winner against Man United. At least the result means E...

THE FOOTBALL RAMBLE IS RETURNING TO THE STAGE!

22 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

For the first time in five long years, the Football Ramble is back on the stage!On Friday 20th September 2024, we’re performing a very special show ...

Mailbag: How Pep Guardiola has changed English football

20 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Pep Guardiola arrived at Manchester City almost 8 years ago. A reign that started with sacking Joe Hart has turned into one the most impactful manager...

The Preview Show: It makes me Schick

19 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Shhh of course we knew that yellow cards don’t carry over to a penalty shootout! In Emi Martinez we trust.Marcus, Luke, Andy and Pete catch up after...

Ramble Reacts: Little old Real Madrid

18 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How about them plucky underdogs Real Madrid, eh? Marcus and Vish are on hand to react to a disastrous evening in Europe for the English sides.On a nig...

Yabadabadoo

17 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Barcelona may have lost the tie last night, but have they won the war to become the Champions League’s next banter club? Today, Marcus, Jim, Andy an...

Crack the whip

15 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What’s that noise? Is that the sound of Euro-trash floating from Lineker’s Bar? That’s right, Pete thinks it’s official: Jack Grealish is alre...

Mailbag: Could Premier League games ever be played overseas?

13 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Andy and Pete text an anonymous burner phone and get a fresh batch of listener questions delivered to the studio - and there are some crackers...

The Preview Show: Atabanta

12 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Was last night Jürgen Klopp's final European game at Anfield? If so it didn't end well. Today, Marcus, Andy and Pete are here to remind Klopp that go...

Ramble Reacts: Barcelona’s kids silence Mbappé

11 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Also, Xavi was wearing Stone Island on the touchline, so we can only assume he and his XL bully were waiting for Luis Enrique in the carpark.Marcus an...

I’m gonna need a bigger telly

10 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How about that football, eh? Last night’s Champions League action was so good that Andy has decided he needs to get a second big telly to watch all ...

Always do your doggies

08 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Did you know that if you’re a Tottenham player you can punch a Nottingham Forest player on a Sunday afternoon without punishment? Today Marcus, Luke...

Mailbag: Is football punditry becoming more divisive?

06 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Jim are back in Correspondence Corner tackling some more of your cracking questions!We start with an interesting one: in the age of m...

The Preview Show: No barns left to burn

05 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What… on EARTH was that?! Marcus, Luke and Jim recap Cole Palmer 4-3 Moments FC, where perhaps the biggest takeaway from one of the most ridiculous ...

Ramble Reacts: Tickly bum time for Man City and Arsenal

03 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus didn’t think he’d ever make this comparison but… Phil Foden went full-blown Wayne Rooney against Aston Villa! It was a stunning hat-trick...

Whoever wins, we lose

03 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Jim dive into yet more Barclays action, as a gloriously violent cameo from Newcastle's Paul Dummett gave Everton some much-needed poi...

Barclays Barnburners Deluxe™

01 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke, Vish and Pete return after Man City 0-0 Arsenal to find the barn very much intact. Wasn’t even remotely burned. Pep Guardiola still fo...

Mailbag: Which manager will have achieved the most by winning the Premier League?

30 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Luke, Jim and Vish kick off proceedings with an intriguing question about this season’s incredible title race: for which manager would winning the l...

The Preview Show: The Fleece of Champions

29 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Three things we didn’t expect in the studio today: a hammer, Sean Connery, and loads of Wellman supplements after Pete played table tennis against D...

England Special: Who should start at Euro 2024?

28 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Back in November Marcus and Luke picked their England starting XI for Euro 2024. Four months and a lot of football later it’s now time for the lads ...

He’s dead, Vish

27 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Andy, Luke and Vish are here with some consoling words for our Welsh brethren, after their Euros journey fell at the final hurdle last night. ...

Dr Feelgood Factor

25 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

England may have lost to Brazil but you can’t create the feelgood factor without having a bad moment first, right? Today, Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete...

Mailbag: Has Gareth Southgate been a success for England?

23 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The narrative that has been created around Southgate is one of squandered opportunities and an inability to match tactics against the elite in Europe....

The Preview Show: Virtue-signalling about something

22 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s international week! Marcus, Andy, Vish and Jim leave the boffins behind for Anthony Hopkins and Robbie Savage giving Wales’ next team-talk, M...

Ramble Uncut: Santa in Lanzarote, the worst taxi driver ever, and blimps

21 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

As a special Thursday treat, we're bringing you this week's Patreon-exclusive edition of Ramble Uncut! Luke reveals what happened when a man donned a ...

The Boffin's Premier League

20 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Kobbie Mainoo is the latest addition to Gareth’s Governors so naturally, Marcus is swinging from the chandelier. Before that however, the boffins at...

Can I have the little fish?

18 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Vish is on the pod, Vish is on the pod!! Today, Pete celebrated the return of the man of the bat by going through his old tweets. Concerning…Elsewhe...

Mailbag: What defines a big club?

16 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Are Arcade Fire bigger than Arsenal? Are Hula Hoops bigger than Man City? Should you play without a goalkeeper? How many defenders do you really need ...

The Preview Show: Thrashing around in their own muck

15 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Jim whizz round the best moments from last night’s European Battle of the Banter, as plenty of English sides impressed and Anthony ...

Came here for a shootout

13 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Arsenal’s penalty shootout win over Porto was so exhilarating that even the crowd were exhausted at the end - so how do you think a 41 year-old Pepe...

Ramble Reacts: Chelsea win and Poch goes for dinner

12 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Chelsea delivered a huge blow to Newcastle’s ambitions for the rest of the season – and a huge blow to Andy Brassell’s hopes of watching them pl...

Conspiracy Campbell

11 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What a weekend in the Prem! And after all the controversy, Pete has a brand new innovation for refereeing. Introducing… The No Context Man, sponsore...

Mailbag: How should football copy other sports?

09 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jim, Andy and Rhythmic Pete Donaldson are back with another rummage in the postbag, addressing listener questions and problems with the poise and dign...

The Preview Show: Something rude about the Queen

08 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Pete, Andy and Jim run the rule over last night’s European action – and then turn to the big one, Liverpool vs Man City, Klopp vs Pep, Trent vs…...

Tender Loving Football

06 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Champions League is back! Marcus, Jim, Andy and Pete run the rule over last night’s clashes, which proved that all you need for European success...

Ramble Reacts: Sheffield United bring a knife to a gunfight

05 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

On a bruising night for Sheffield United, Marcus and Andy pick apart their season and whether it was always destined to end this way.They also rub the...

Let me in, Paul

04 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Mark Clattenburg is banging on the door of the studio asking for answers, but we just about managed to keep him out and record a brand new Ramble!Marc...

Mailbag: What makes a great derby?

02 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What are the characteristics of a great derby? Are half and half scarves REALLY that bad? Do we criticise refs too much? Who are the most unexpected f...

The Preview Show: Three of your five meats a day

01 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Manchester derby weekend! And there’s one question on everyone’s lips here at the Ramble: will a pie be thrown?Marcus, Luke and Andy talk a...

Ramble Reacts: Casemiro's crucial bonce

28 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We have our FA Cup quarter-final lineup! And – oh no – Pete sees who Newcastle have drawn while recording the show. But which better Ramble should...

Small Donny energy

28 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

After last night’s FA Cup action, we’re one step closer to Pete spending a load of money so he can watch Newcastle lose to Man City at Wembley. To...

Ramble Reacts: Take a Bowen

26 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jarrod Bowen scored his first senior hat-trick and, in an amazing turn of events, it’s got Andy waving the Bowen for England flag har...

Pete’s grotty mind

26 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The only thing grottier than the Carabao Cup trophy after John Terry’s done with it? Pete’s mind, obviously.Marcus, Jim and Pete are back for your...

The Best of Ramble Uncut

26 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Head to patreon.com/footballramble for more of this every single Wednesday!Each Wednesday, our Patreon subscribers get an extended edition of the Foot...

Mailbag: Do fans prefer not being in the Premier League?

24 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Earlier this week, Luke made the point that supporting a struggling Premier League club is worse than people realise. So today, he’s joined by Marcu...

The Preview Show: Do it for Todd

23 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the big one! The Carabao Cup final, where Chelsea will be fighting for not only a tenth of the amount of money you need to make Liam Gallagher ...

Ramble Reacts: Arsenal’s last-gasp defeat

21 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It was unfortunately business as usual for Arsenal on their return to the Champions League knockouts, after their last-minute loss to Porto. But, what...

David Raya’s big hands

21 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Believe it or not there was some Premier League action last night, even if Jim did have to take the train to France to watch it on TV. Today, Luke and...

Ramble Reacts: Palace hold on and Roy bows out

20 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

For perhaps the final time, Roy Hodgson leaves the managerial arena. And what more fitting tribute to his career than being mentioned in the same brea...

Sammy Lee’s Trebors

19 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Did Harry Styles eat some Trebor Mints extracted from Sammy Lee’s arsehole, will Ross Barkley be made the sheriff of Luton, and is it a good idea fo...

Mailbag: Is there still a place for firefighter managers in the Premier League?

17 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

With Roy Hodgson’s time at Crystal Palace seemingly drawing to a close, is this the end for the traditional firefighter manager? Marcus, Jim and And...

The Preview Show: MBellingham

16 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Jim, Andy and Pete are back in the Ramble ring! But it’s a sad day, really. Jürgen Klinsmann has been sacked by South Korea! Insert crying ...

You give yellow cards a bad name

14 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Things most of us predicted last night: a dominant Man City win. Things only Nigel Clough predicted last night: Mansfield Town beating Harrogate Town ...

Ramble Reacts: Chelsea win it late

12 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s all going wrong for Crystal Palace, should they employ Andy Brassell as gaffer until the end of the season? Luke and Andy are here to discuss w...

A skulleted fiend

12 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Ivory Coast won AFCON! Managerless, thrashed by Equatorial Guinea earlier in the tournament, and with Sebastien Haller grabbing the winner after overc...

Mailbag: How to improve the Champions League

10 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The jury is still out on whether the new Champions League format will be a success. Can Marcus, Luke and Pete design a better competition? They try th...

The Preview Show: Norty Boyz

09 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Pete are delighted to hear that Marcus has eschewed some spicy matches this weekend and instead opened the show with news of England’s 2024...

Typhoid Neil

07 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

On today's Ramble, Marcus gets ready to celebrate England winning a World Cup, Jim talks about Nathan Jones, Andy talks about watching Arturo Vidal at...

Ramble Reacts: Phil Foden runs the show

05 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Wait, what’s that rumble? Is it Manchester City galloping towards the front of the title race? Or Pete’s belly after eating that remaining half of...

The lemons have gone off

05 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

One last job, Ramblers. One last job for Neil Warnock AND Jose Mourinho?! We cannot believe our luck.Marcus, Luke and Jim look back on an epic weekend...

Mailbag: Do we overestimate the impact of managers?

03 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

As the dust still settles on Jürgen Klopp's surprise announcement last week, one listener had a big question for us today: just how important are man...

The Preview Show: A night out in Seoul with Pete Donaldson

02 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

An ice museum. An erotic museum. Easy access to suits in Gangnam. What more could Jesse Lingard possibly want in Seoul? Pete tells Marcus, Luke a...

Ramble Reacts: Wotsits for goalposts

31 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Pete are here and they are discussing the approved materials for goalposts following Darwin Nunez’s record-breaking performance last night....

Elton John’s heliplopter

31 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Tom Lockyer returns to Kenilworth Road and Luton score two goals in the first two minutes. Coincidence? Marcus, Andy, Jim and Pete think not!Today, th...

The Carrington Flu Room

29 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Maidstone United fairytale continues! Marcus, Luke and Jim shake off their Belfast hangover to look back on the FA Cup fourth round, where The Sto...

Mailbag: Why is the transfer window so quiet?

27 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Has Everton’s point deductions made clubs scared to spend money in January? Does Harry Kane leaving Spurs explain their upturn in form? And which fo...

Ramble Reacts: Jürgen Klopp is leaving Liverpool!

26 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jürgen Klopp has announced that this will be his final season as Liverpool manager. What’s going on?! Will he join Germany after the Euros? Is Xabi...

The Preview Show: Woke-verhampton Wanderers

26 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The FA Cup returns! Marcus, Luke, Andy and Jim bring you more heartwarming tales from the football world – from former Wolves stalwart Jonny smashin...

Ramble Reacts: Fulham’s dream is over

25 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus has arrived, wind-swept and heartbroken, from Craven Cottage ready to record a Ramble Reacts with his old pal Andy Brassell.Despite the result,...

Nevvo Baby

24 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Jim, Pete and Andy pick through the wreckage of Chelsea’s demolition job on a spirited Middlesbrough - a club that Pete regards with an almo...

Ramble Reacts: Wolves steal the Seagulls’ chips

22 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Luke wade through thin South Coast gruel after Wolves left Brighton with a decent goalless draw. Gag O’Neil was certainly happy, anyway.W...

Write another letter, you cowards

22 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Fire up the PGMOL paper shredder, it’s another action-packed weekend in the Premier League! Marcus, Luke, Pete and Jim are here to pick up the piece...

Mailbag: Is there really good stuff on X?

20 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Social media has just become an accepted part of modern football, but is it really a good thing and does it actually make you feel closer to your club...

The Preview Show: Cayman Island United

19 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A message for Forest Green Rovers: Pete Donaldson is available for the dugout. Please find our reference in the following episode…Marcus, Vish and J...

Ramble Reacts: FA Cup solace for Forest and Everton

18 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan Henderson pulling out of Saudi Arabia? After six months? Completely unpaid?! Fire up the Ramble Reacts…Pete and Andy discuss two important vi...

Moyes out, EastEnders in

17 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A big cupset in the FA Cup 3rd Round! Today, Marcus confirms to Luke, Vish and Jim that he is now a Moyes Out man after West Ham crashed out to Bristo...

You’ve been Gaffneyed!

15 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Pete is back on the pod! And he’s back with a bang. Or a crack, actually…He joins Marcus and Vish to discuss Kevin De Bruyne’s terrifying (and l...

Mailbag: Have the Premier League fixed the winter break dilemma?

13 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

England fans once blamed a Steven Gerrard misplaced pass at the Euros on the fact that he didn’t have a winter break... obviously. Today, Marcus, Ji...

The Preview Show: We’re off to Baden-Baden

12 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Prem is back with a big ol’ relegation six-pointer! Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish preview that and a whole lot more.We wonder in what state Kevin D...

Ramble Reacts: Liverpool find a way

11 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In a twist that left Marcus’ aunt practically choking on her Victoria sponge, Liverpool turned the first leg of their Carabao Cup semi-final on its ...

One foot in a bucket of Carabao

10 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Football recently lost one of its greats. Today, Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish remember Franz Beckenbauer – a player who reinvented his position and wh...

A Man of the Prat

08 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

That’s (almost) a wrap on the FA Cup third round! And we’re already looking forward to Liverpool playing Maidstone United on a plastic pitch at 12...

Mailbag: How would we change the FA Cup?

06 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Should FA Cup underdogs be allowed to choose whether they play at home or away? Marcus Speller thinks so. Today he, Luke and Jim discuss the one chang...

The Preview Show: Cheer up Peter Reid

05 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s FA Cup third round weekend! And what a curtain-raiser it was last night on ITV4…Marcus, Luke, Jim and Vish discuss Sunderland gaffes ahead of...

The Liz Truss of Football

03 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Wayne Rooney lasted longer than the cabbage. And at least he didn’t have one thrown at him like Steve Bruce.Marcus, Luke, Andy and Vish discuss the ...

Happy New Year, bro

02 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Festive football has almost drawn to a close and the highlight is most definitely Noni Madueke calling friend of the Ramble Jules Breach “...