TPP 006a: Asher Talks About Ways to Handle Being an Easily Frustrated Child
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
12 min
1 speaker
7 chapters
transcribed 13 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the overall purpose of this kid‑focused episode on frustration?
Hey there, it's Debbie and welcome to Playback Friday. I'm going back into the archives and re-releasing some of my favorite conversations from years ago every Friday. Unless you're a longtime listener of the show, there's a good chance you haven't heard this one yet. And even if you are, you just may get something completely different from listening to it this time around. Here you go and enjoy the show. So I'm just curious what has changed for you or what feels different for you that's preventing you from having that big explosion of frustration?
I'm not exactly sure. Part of it is that I'd rather not destroy my own work.
Does it feel different for you? Yeah, it it feels better. Can you describe kind of what's going on in your mind? That's I'm like, ugh, I made a mistake.
Well that's what erasers are for. Eraserase erase.
Welcome to the Tilt Parenting Podcast, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Rieber. Today's episode features another short conversation with my 11-year-old son Asher. Today we're talking about frustration. Specifically, the kind of frustration that many differently wired kids experience when something they're working on doesn't turn out the way they expected. To learn more about this podcast and Tilt, the revolution for parents raising atypical kids, visit tiltparenting.com.
How does Asher describe his typical reaction when he makes a mistake?
Frustration used to be one of my son Asher's primary emotions, which isn't actually unusual or surprising, especially because of his having classic asynchronous development issues stemming from the contrast between his high IQ and his emotional development. I also know that having a low tolerance for frustration is a big part of many differently wired kids' lives. Frustration can come out in so many different circumstances, but one situation that seems to frequently elicit it is when kids are working on creative and school projects and they have this picture in their head of what they want to do or create, but what they come up with falls short of their expectations. Also, just to be clear, I realize this kind of situation can be extremely frustrating for neurologically typical kids too, especially those with perfectionistic tendencies.
But because with differently wired kids there can be a pretty huge disconnect between their vision and the final product. Kids who struggle when things don't go the way they expect can be especially triggered. On top of that, the way they express that frustration is very often bigger than their peers. Like much bigger. I wanted to ask Asher about frustration because lately I've been noticing in him a fledgling ability to kind of roll with the punches. This is very new and it's very exciting. During a homeschool project we've been working on, I realized just how far he's come. Today you are working on An architecture art project? Why yes I was. And I noticed that you made some mistakes as you were working on it.
And I made a comment like, Oh, I didn't realise you made a mistake 'cause I didn't hear a big explosion. And I was like, but I told you that I made a
mistake.
I know, it made me kind of notice that This is kind of new. Like There was a time when if you were doing something And he made a mistake. It didn't go the way you wanted. You drew a line incorrectly.
Why did the recent art‑project mistake feel different for Asher?
Something happened. So the vision of what you were trying to create. Suddenly Wasn't turning out. The way you hoped? It didn't go well. Do you remember what that used to be like? Can you describe to me what it used to be like when Uh it used to be like ah I made a mistake ah screw the whole thing mistake. Asher's description here is a little understated. The reality is that making a mistake on pretty much anything, a drawing, homework sheet, a maze, really anything, was the catalyst for a huge explosion, shouting, shredding, storming, and slamming the whole nine yards. But on this day, something very different happened. And just so people know, you were we were doing an art project. That was an architecture project where you were designing a home.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What is the overall purpose of this kid‑focused episode on frustration?
0:00–1:35
2
How does Asher describe his typical reaction when he makes a mistake?
1:35–3:44
3
Why did the recent art‑project mistake feel different for Asher?
3:44–5:10
4
What reflective questions does Debbie use to help Asher notice his new response?
5:10–6:57
5
How does Asher explain the thought process that stopped his frustration explosion?
6:57–8:35
6
Which strategies from the book *What to Do When Your Temper Flares* are applied in this moment?
8:35–10:59
7
What are Asher’s plans for finishing the architecture project after the mistake?
10:59–12:05
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids