TPP 012: A Conversation with 11-year-old Asher About Managing & Tracking Screen Time
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
13 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 4 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the main focus of the conversation with Asher about screen time?
so you are someone who likes to have the when the alarm goes off it hits you as a surprise but that's better than looking at
it and
seeing oh crap i only
have four minutes left ridiculously stressed okay all right that's good to know ridiculously stress is not really the best of feelings
Welcome to the Tilt Parenting Podcast, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Reber, and today's episode features another short conversation with my 11-year-old son, Asher. Today, we're devoting our whole conversation to a subject near and dear to pretty much every family's life these days, screen time. Like most of you listening, we have been trying to figure out how to best balance, manage, and negotiate Asher's engagement with all things screen so that it doesn't negatively impact our family and so that it doesn't take over his life. And before we get started, to be clear... We're not here to say that our way is the right way or that we have all the answers when it comes to exactly how much screen time is the right amount.
But because the issue of screen time has been a source of significant stress and discussion in our family over the years, and I know I'm not alone here, we thought it might be useful to share some of our strategies for making Asher's relationship with the computer and iPad more workable for our family. I hope you enjoy this episode and don't forget to check out the show notes as well because we're going to share our new and improved screen time planning worksheet as a downloadable. To learn more about this podcast and Tilt, the revolution for parents raising atypical kids, visit www.tiltparenting.com. Maybe a month or so ago, Asher, we were using a new screen time planning worksheet. Yep.
It was new back then.
It was new back then. And as we explained on a previous podcast, we were using the bubble system, which I'm kind of borrowing from the Pomodoro method, which is this productivity planner that I use.
But not to advertise for them or anything. But not to
advertise for
them. I haven't sponsored this yet.
I noticed that the screen time planning worksheet was starting to be less effective. Do you remember why that was the case? That was
because I got bored. I didn't really reflect on what I was going to do with my time. sometimes that works.
How did Asher and Debbie originally use the bubble‑based screen‑time worksheet?
Like, for example, I was playing a game called the Kerbal Space Program, and I was in the middle of sending something to the moon, and then my timer went off, and I immediately did everything to get ready as fast as I could and quickly reset the timer and jump back on to make sure I hadn't missed my maneuver node.
So just for reference, in a previous episode of this podcast, the one about distraction, Asher and I talked about the screen time planning worksheet he was using at that time, the one we're talking about here. If you want to see a copy of that, visit the show notes for that episode at tiltparenting.com slash session three. Our deal was that Asher would set his own timer for a set period of time, and then when the timer went off, he'd fill in a bubble and determine how he wanted to spend his next chunk of time, if he had any time left, and then set a new timer. The goal was both to keep him focused on what he wanted to achieve during his screen time so he wouldn't get upset if he squandered his time, as well as put the onus on him to manage his own time.
Okay, back to the conversation. So I think what was happening was we were both getting lazy. Yeah. And what I noticed starting to happen was that your timer was going off, you were acknowledging it, you were setting another timer, and you were diving right back in. So what was the key piece we were missing? The
key piece was to reflect. Like, when I already know what I'm going to do with my next time, then that's great. But if I don't, right, and I just jump back on, then I'm like, then I just, I take a portal to the universe of distraction.
Yeah.
So I brought in a copy of our current screen time planning because we made... Now with more advanced screen time-osity.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main focus of the conversation with Asher about screen time?
0:00–2:30
2
How did Asher and Debbie originally use the bubble‑based screen‑time worksheet?
2:30–4:47
3
Why did the original worksheet stop working and what reflection step was added?
4:47–6:10
4
What are the new step‑by‑step actions Asher follows when his timer goes off?
6:10–7:44
5
How does the visual timer affect Asher’s stress and anxiety levels?
7:44–9:08
6
What strategies do they use to turn timer alerts into calm brain‑breaks?
9:08–10:01
7
How is Asher learning to take responsibility for tracking his own screen time?
10:01–11:23
8
What resources and next steps do Debbie share for parents wanting to try this system?
11:23–13:54
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids