TPP 015: A Conversation with 11-year-old Asher About Travel and Vacation Strategies

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Why does planning ahead make vacations easier for neurodivergent kids?

Debbie Reber 0:00
What do you think has worked the best for you? Because I'm sure you've noticed vacations are different for you now too. What has helped you the most?
Asher 0:09
I think that all the planning. It's very helpful to know what's going to happen.
Debbie Reber 0:13
Why is that so helpful for you? I
Asher 0:16
just like knowing what's going to happen because it means I can prepare for it ahead of time. I can like set my all my expectations and not be wrong.
Debbie Reber 0:28
Welcome to the Tilt Parenting Podcast, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Reber, and today's episode features another conversation with my 11-year-old son, Asher. We know that a lot of families are traveling this summer and going on holidays, whether to the beach, camping, national parks, trips abroad, and we also know that vacations can be equal parts awesome and difficult for families with differently wired kids. So today, Asher and I are going to tell you about the many different strategies we've tried and tweaked over the years to help make our vacations go more smoothly.
Debbie Reber 1:05
Of course, life is life and we're not looking for happily ever after here, but we have come up with some strategies that have absolutely allowed our family to not only enjoy the vacations much more than before, but also grow closer together in the process. So we're going to get into that in just a moment. To learn more about this podcast and Tilt, the revolution for parents raising atypical kids, visit www.tiltparenting.com. My husband and I love to travel. It's one of our favorite things to do. And when my husband's work asked us to move abroad for an indefinite amount of time, we leapt at the opportunity because we knew it meant we'd get to travel a ton and explore Europe, a place we really hadn't spent much time in before moving to Amsterdam three years ago.
Debbie Reber 1:51
We did travel a fair bit in the US when Asher was younger, but the majority of these trips were either to Pennsylvania and Maryland to see my family or California and Oregon to visit Darren's family, scattered with a few family vacations to places like Orlando, Phoenix, New York and the Jersey Shore. But we realized pretty early on that we had a problem. And maybe it's a problem you've experienced too. See, while we loved to travel, it didn't necessarily bring out the best in Asher. In fact, it often ratcheted up the intensity level from highly discombobulating to flat out catastrophic. New routines, busier schedules, strange beds, different foods. For a highly inflexible little person with sensory issues, vacations were the perfect storm.
Debbie Reber 2:37
It was the fall before we moved that I had my first aha moment about the Asher vacation conundrum. So I actually wanted to start by talking about what happened. I don't know if you remember this. Actually, you're showing me Mickelson. Mickelson, for those of you who are listening, is Asher's... How would you describe Mickelson? Brand. He's Asher's friend. He's a one-of-a-kind stuffy, for lack of a better word, but he's a monster. Because monsters need friends, too. Because they do. And we got Mikkerson in Victoria, and we were on holiday with Asher's dad and my husband Darren's parents.
Asher 3:15
Particularly
Debbie Reber 3:16
after
Asher 3:17
we mentioned him in this episode.
Debbie Reber 3:18
Isn't it? So do you remember that vacation much? It was probably four years ago when you were about seven.
Asher 3:25
Yeah, kind of. I remember the part where I saw Mickerson.
Debbie Reber 3:29
Yeah. It was love at first sight.
Asher 3:31
I had to, like,
Debbie Reber 3:33
do chores for a month. Yes. To pay for him. That's true. It was so worth it. So the reason I wanted to talk about Victoria was we took your dad's parents, grandma and grandpa, to Victoria for a weekend.

How did Asher’s first ‘aha’ moment change the family’s travel routine?

Debbie Reber 3:49
It was a really short trip. We were living in Seattle at the time, and we took them to Victoria for a weekend, and they had a lot of things they wanted to see, and we had a lot of things we wanted to do, and you wanted a lot of time to just chill out in the hotel.
Asher 4:04
With Mickelson.
Debbie Reber 4:05
No, this was even before you got Mickelson.
Oh!
Debbie Reber 4:08
But I remember we went out to dinner in the Stone Age.

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