TPP 015b: A Conversation with 11-year-old Asher About Travel and Vacation Strategies

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What is this episode about and who joins the host for the conversation?

Debbie Reber 0:00
Hey, it's Debbie. To help get ready for summer break, travel and vacations, Playback Friday episodes during the month of May will be focused on navigating big breaks and family getaways with our neurodivergent kids. Let the prepping and planning begin. Welcome to the Tilt Parenting Podcast, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Reber, and today's episode features another conversation with my 11-year-old son, Asher. We know that a lot of families are traveling this summer and going on holidays, whether to the beach, camping, national parks, trips abroad. And we also know that vacations can be equal parts awesome and difficult for families with differently wired kids.
Debbie Reber 0:49
So today, Asher and I are going to tell you about the many different strategies we've tried and tweaked over the years to help make our vacations go more smoothly. Of course, life is life and we're not looking for happily ever after here, but we have come up with some strategies that have absolutely allowed our family to not only enjoy the vacations much more than before, but also grow closer together in the process. So we're going to get into that in just a moment. To learn more about this podcast and Tilt, the revolution for parents raising atypical kids, visit www.tiltparenting.com. My husband and I love to travel. It's one of our favorite things to do. And when my husband's work asked us to move abroad for an indefinite amount of time, we leapt at the opportunity because we knew it meant we'd get to travel a ton and explore Europe, a place we really hadn't spent much time in before moving to Amsterdam three years ago.
Debbie Reber 1:43
We did travel a fair bit in the U.S. when Asher was younger, but the majority of these trips were either to Pennsylvania and Maryland to see my family or California and Oregon to visit Darren's family, scattered with a few family vacations to places like Orlando, Phoenix, New York and the Jersey Shore. But we realized pretty early on that we had a problem. And maybe it's a problem you've experienced too. While we loved to travel, it didn't necessarily bring out the best in Asher. New routines, busier schedules, strange beds, different foods. For a highly inflexible little person with sensory issues, vacations were the perfect storm. It was the fall before we moved that I had my first aha moment about the Asher vacation conundrum.
Debbie Reber 2:27
So I actually wanted to start by talking about what happened. I don't know if you remember this. Actually, you're showing me Mickelson. Mickelson, for those of you who are listening, is Asher's... How would you describe Mickelson? Friend. He's Asher's friend. He's a one-of-a-kind stuffy, for lack of a better word, but he's a monster. Because monsters need friends, too. Because they do. And we got Mikkerson in Victoria, and we were on holiday with Asher's dad
Asher 2:58
and my husband Darren's parents. It's particularly apt that we mention him in this episode. Isn't
Debbie Reber 3:02
it? So do you remember that vacation much? It was probably four years ago when you were about seven years old.
Asher 3:09
Yeah, kind of. I remember the part where I saw Mickerson.
Debbie Reber 3:12
Yeah. It was love at first sight.
Asher 3:14
I had to, like,
Debbie Reber 3:16
do chores for a month. Yes. To pay for him. That's true. It was so worth it.

Why does Asher need a dedicated chill‑down day at the start of every vacation?

Debbie Reber 3:22
So the reason I wanted to talk about Victoria was we took your dad's parents, grandma and grandpa, to Victoria for a weekend. It was a really short trip. We were living in Seattle at the time, and we took them to Victoria for a weekend, and they had a lot of things they wanted to see, and we had a lot of things we wanted to do, and you wanted a lot of time to just chill out in the hotel.
Asher 3:46
With Mickelson.
Debbie Reber 3:48
No, this was even before you got Mickelson.
Oh!
Debbie Reber 3:51
But I remember we went
Asher 3:52
out to dinner in
Debbie Reber 3:53
the Stone Age. We went out to dinner to a really nice restaurant. And you just kind of had a bit of a meltdown. You were done over the weekend. It was just too much. And so I took you from the restaurant. And we went and we found a bench outside.

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