TPP 026: Emotional Intelligence and "Perfectly-Flawed Parenting" with Amy Steindler
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
42 min
1 speaker
4 chapters
transcribed 9 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is emotional intelligence and why does it matter for parenting?
And so when we let go of control of what they already are, then we can begin to help them be who they are. But we can't let go of that unless we let go of our own attachment to what their experience is and and what they're experiencing every day and who they become and what their path is in life.
Welcome to the Tilt Parenting Podcast, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Rieber, and today's episode explores the idea of emotional intelligence, which, according to Psychology Today, is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. To talk about this, I'm bringing on Amy Stein. A certified life coach and emotional intelligence trainer who's recently begun working with parents raising uniquely wired kids. and introducing them to the idea of using emotional intelligence as a way to help them honor their child's path. She does this through her program Perfectly Flawed Parenting.
If you're a brain science nerd like me, you will love our conversation, which goes into the idea of how our emotions are data and information that, when recognized and explored, can actually serve us and support us in being better parents. Amy also shares with us a ton of resources: books, experts, websites. I think the show notes page for this episode is longer than any previous podcast, so if you're someone who likes to dive deep, This episode is for you. As always, thanks for listening to the Tilt Parenting Podcast. To learn more about Tilt, visit www.tiltparenting.com. Hey everyone, it's Debbie Reber here with the Tilt Parenting Podcast, and today I am really happy to welcome to the show Amy Steinler.
Hey Amy.
Hi, Debbie.
Amy, it's such a pleasure and an honor to be here. And just a little background for listeners, Amy is a life coach and an emotional intelligence coach who, I took this from your website, considers herself a collaborator, a co-conspirator, counselor, and cheerleader for her clients' best lives. And Amy works with many different kinds of clients. And incidentally, Amy and I have known each other for many years now because we did a life coach program training together back in 2011. But what prompted me to bring her on the podcast today was that recently Amy led a workshop for parents who have children with very high IQs but who are struggling with some aspect of emotional intelligence. And after seeing the kinds of things Amy shared with this community of parents, I just thought it would be really useful insight for parents in the Tilt community.
So with that. I think probably a good place to start today is just if you could explain to us or define what exactly emotional intelligence is.
So there are so many great definitions and models of emotional intelligence from Daniel Goleman, who was one of the first researchers to use the term emotional intelligence, and he also uses the term social intelligence, to the emotional intelligence uh assessment that I use, which was created by a researcher named Reuben Baron. Which looks at emotional intelligence in terms of fifteen specific skills, which is a great way to look at it. And then there's Travis Bad Bradbury who does emotional intelligence two point oh, which you see in every single airport bookstore. Um, but for me, I I have my own way of thinking about it after uh reading about it and working with it for a while. And uh my thought is that first you need to know something about emotions.
You're gonna need emotional literacy before you get to emotional intelligence. Like you you need to be able to read before you can get a PhD in something. And the thing you need to know about emotions, first and foremost, is that they are data. Emotions are data, they are information. And I find that this really helps left brain directed thinkers, the the logical lefties, I like to call them, accept that information. If emotions are data, then they can accept it as information as opposed to something that takes them off track.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is emotional intelligence and why does it matter for parenting?
0:00–14:22
2
How does Amy define emotional intelligence and what models does she reference?
14:22–21:00
3
Why does Amy say emotions are data, and how can parents use that insight?
21:00–28:15
4
What is the “Mad Monster” metaphor and how can it help kids identify feelings?
28:15–42:12
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
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TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids