TPP 031: The Unique Challenges of Raising a Differently-Wired Child of Color, with Tarice Gray
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
38 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 9 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What inspired Tarice Gray to write the “Mother Advocate” essay?
From both sides, there needs to be empathy for the struggle. There is an overreaching theme in terms of dealing with kids of color physically who have challenges, and just period, actually. So we live in a world that is a little bit more scary for our kids.
Welcome to the tilt parenting podcast, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Reber. And today I'm talking with journalist, editor and mother of a differently wired daughter, Therese Gray. Moving forward, I plan to bring the voices of real parents to the Tilt Parenting podcast periodically so we can learn from and be inspired by their personal journeys. Because the more we see our experiences reflected through the lives and voices of others, the less and less we'll feel alone. I reached out to Teresa after reading a powerful and very personal essay she wrote for the Huffington Post called Mother Advocate, which was about her figuring out how to navigate the path of raising a child of color who also happens to be differently wired.
I know that raising a black child in the U.S., especially one who is differently wired, comes with extra challenges, concerns and considerations. In our conversation, Teresa and I look at what those challenges are and talk about how parents can best advocate for their child and ensure they get the support they need. As always, thanks for listening to the Tilt Parenting Podcast. To learn more about Tilt, visit www.tiltparenting.com. Hey everyone, it's Debbie Reber here with the Tilt Parenting Podcast. And this week, I'm very happy to be speaking with journalist, writer, editor, and mother, Therese Gray. Welcome to the show, Therese. Thank you for having me. Well, I've been really looking forward to having you on the show because we are going to be talking about the unique challenges facing parents raising differently wired children who also happen to be children of color.
And I first reached out to you after reading a powerful essay you wrote a few years ago for the Huffington Post. was originally entitled Mother Advocate. And it was about your personal experience as a Black woman raising a Black daughter and discovering that your daughter was differently wired and your journey of kind of reframing your expectations for what your daughter's journey would look like. Right. Could you tell us about that piece and what inspired you to write it?
A couple of things. Well, when we first started noticing Missy was different or had some challenges, I should say, was through her pediatrician saying words like, she's saying mama, she's saying dada, and we weren't that worried. She was 18 months old. A lot of kids don't start talking until they're two. After two, it was kind of like this sort of hysterical, why is she not talking? It could be a sign for this, it could be a sign for that. So it sort of set off some alarm bells that other kids were asking for a snack or saying that's their favorite toy or where's mama. My daughter was not. So it just set us on a different track than what I originally designed. Most parents, I'm sure, have grand dreams of what they would like their children to achieve, even, you know, a few months old, whether it be, you know, the face of Gap or Kids Gap or something, you know, anything.
Mm-hmm. But our path was a little different because we noticed that we needed to now do other things. Rather than a play date, I needed to find a speech therapist. Rather than going to the park, we needed to check in with her pediatrician once more to see if there are other things that we need to address. OT, physical therapy, running down a list of treatment and therapies that we weren't prepared for and we weren't schooled in. Also finding a diagnosis for Missy was a challenge. So I wrote the article because going to the park, which I took her often, she was very energetic, even, I mean, from birth, just bouncing off the walls. Some mothers would say, engage me and ask her how old she was.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What inspired Tarice Gray to write the “Mother Advocate” essay?
0:00–4:56
2
How did Tarice first notice her daughter Missy was differently‑wired?
4:56–9:42
3
What early therapies and assessments did the family pursue for Missy?
9:42–15:37
4
How did racial bias affect Missy’s school testing and placement?
15:37–20:47
5
What strategies does Tarice use to advocate for her child within the education system?
20:47–25:45
6
Why are diagnoses often delayed for Black children with autism or ADHD?
25:45–30:09
7
What practical advice does Tarice give parents fighting for timely diagnoses?
30:09–34:21
8
How does the family’s memoir aim to help other parents of differently‑wired kids of color?
34:21–38:28
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids