TPP 033: A Conversation with 12-year-old Asher About Being a Kid with ADHD

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What is the purpose of this kid‑POV episode and how do Debbie and Asher introduce ADHD?

Debbie Reber 0:00
When I first started homeschooling you.
Asher 0:03
It was difficult.
Debbie Reber 0:04
It was difficult because I don't think I realized. Like, I knew you had ADHD. And I knew what the strategies
Asher 0:12
were. But
Debbie Reber 0:12
you didn't really realize how hard it was. I didn't realize how hard it was. And I remember
Asher 0:17
– But it wasn't really – it isn't really hard. It's just different. It's just – that's exactly right. Exactly. It's not really fair to just – to make a system that works for four-fifths of all the people and then expect the one-fifth to just suck it up. No, you're absolutely right. Learn in a way that you don't learn.
Learn.
Debbie Reber 0:38
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Reber, and today's episode is a special kids POV episode with my 12-year-old son, Asher. Because one of the ways Asher is differently wired is having ADHD, and we know a lot of members of the Tilt community are dealing with ADHD in some way, We decided to spend this half hour talking about what it's like to have ADHD, what kids wish their teachers and their parents understood about ADHD. And we're also going to talk about the kinds of strategies that Asher is working on to support him with the aspects of ADHD that can be frustrating for him.
Debbie Reber 1:22
And we'll get right to that conversation after this quick break. Hi, Asher. Hello. How are you doing today? Okay, I've got a really bad cold. I'm sorry. You still up for having our conversation?
Asher 1:36
Yeah, of course.
Debbie Reber 1:39
So we discussed that today we were going to talk about ADHD. Yeah! ADHD! Does that sound like a good plan? Yeah, it does. And the reason I thought that would be good is because I know a lot of the TILT community members, their kids have ADHD. And it's a big part of our life. And so we're going to just give a little deeper peek inside of what it's like for us and for you specifically. Yeah, of course. So I was curious, do you remember the first time you kind of learned about ADHD and maybe made the connection? No, not actually. It was such a long time ago. It was a long time ago. The way I remember...
Asher 2:22
I was
Debbie Reber 2:22
like three. I don't think so. I don't think we knew at three.
Asher 2:27
Yeah, it was only until I was like five that I started to get hyper-focused on things.
Debbie Reber 2:32
Well, I remember you and I laying in bed in our house in Seattle, and I was reading a book out loud. I don't remember which book it was, but one of the characters, not the main character, but a side character, was a big part of the book. And it was mentioned that he had ADHD. And you turned to me and you said, what's ADHD?
Yeah.
Debbie Reber 2:52
And I explained, well, it stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. And I kind of explained.
Asher 2:57
I
Debbie Reber 2:57
was like, oh, it sounds like I have that. Well, that's kind of what happened. I explained it as best I could. And then you said, do I have that? And you were like, oh! Dun, dun, dun! Well, at the time, we had recently gotten a provisional diagnosis of ADHD. Do you know what I mean when I say provisional?
Asher 3:17
It means that it only lasts for until you run out of food.
Debbie Reber 3:22
That's different provisions. So it was a diagnosis that they said, it's not concrete, but we suspect this and we'll need to check back with Asher in a few years and have more information. So when you asked me, do I have that? I said, yeah, well, actually, we think this is something that's going on. Why? Do you recognize some of yourself in this description in the book? And you were like, yep,
Asher 3:48
really
Debbie Reber 3:48
sounds like me. Yeah. How would you then, I'm just curious before you even get started, how would you define ADHD or what does ADHD mean to you?
Asher 3:59
Mostly it means I find it hard to stay on one topic, except sometimes, and then I get ridiculously focused on it. Yeah, basically it means it's hard to get focused on something, but once you do, you're ridiculously
Unknown 4:14
focused.
Asher 4:16
The unfortunate thing is that sometimes that happens on the wrong things. Right. So I'm like, okay, I'm going to do some serious focus work on my, ooh, a video game. Five hours later, yay, I win.
Debbie Reber 4:30
Well, what's the other piece besides the focus that is something that is a common trait for people

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